Is this me
the fish's great escape
a dark cave in a great lake
where catfish meet at day's break
is it sweet
the seaman's song
they learned from sirens
two tailed ladies with lives too long
when fish dream is it of cats
the beasts with claws long ivory black
they test the waters then sink back
fond of the moon and waves that crack
it is the tides that pull them back
and in the undertow of waves
it's salted wounds the fishes crave
cats have no appetite for this
a trait exclusive to the fish

I'm tired.

I don't want to go buy cigarettes.

I get really pissy when people touch me

And talk to me.

I should probably buy cigarettes.

watching from MySpace and corresponding through text messages, but not really interacting. But so you know. Though I don't keep up any other way. It looks like you're happy. And I'm happy you're happy.

I hope/ for me/ that the apple falls far from the tree/ forgetfulness and bad knees/ do as I say/ forget what you see/ believe in God/ but condemn the church/ for judging your brother/ and preaching the fate of the Earth/ your scare tactics don't scare me/ I'm the king of the keg stand/ held up by man/ who needs God/ I have my friends to carry me/ fuck prayer/ I get on my knees in front of only one thrown/ the one who's always there/ my savior/ the porcelain bowl

I don't want to die saying "I never _________."


FIVE THINGS!
GO!

Goals:

buy a kayak
buy a rack for my car

go to NEW MEXICO

garden (come spring time)

live with the trees

research the theremin
Maybe play?




Belly dance.
Brand/scarification snake.
School.

Security and Escape.

A routine.

A schedule.

A plan.







Listening to:
R.E.M.

What would compel a person to aid a man in cheating on his wife?

What would move a human being to take one of their oldest friend's first love and make them their own personal fuck buddy?

Why would anyone betray their favorite person on the Earth to get off?

Inebriation.
Ecstasy.
Alcohol.
Drugs.
Stupidity.
Lack of control.

My life would make an awesome porno.

Not even a sitcom or a soap opera.

It'd have a warning sticker for hardcore content.

Is it sad that I get a tinge of pride from saying so?

I gotta move out of this town and meet new people.

Generally every place I go is a parallel of every other, but there are opportunities elsewhere. I'll have to take the time off to explore.

I'm not down on life. I enjoy myself.

I know I "fuck up"...

But I don't really fuck up.

I just don't live to other's standards.

I'm not a disappointment; I disappoint others.

I'M cool with it.

I just think I'd be slightly less aggravated if I was in a place where others shared a similar point of view.