"The" holiday season is upon us again. I dread this time of year like peasants dreaded the plaque. I wish I could hibernate from about November 15^th to January 2^nd every year. Just wake me when it's over if you will, please and motherfuckin' thank you! I used to joke about hating the holidays. I don't joke any more. I truly hate this time of year. I hate the way people act around this time of year. I hate holiday music. I hate holiday specials. I hate all the dumbass season's greeting bullshit. I hate Christmas cards. I hate having to spend money on a holiday I'd rather skip. But most of all I hate the holidays for all the memories they bring.

It all starts today with fucking Thanksgiving. Gather round, eat too much food and spend a few hours in banality. I love my family but these days all I see are reminders of things I don't particularly want to be reminded of so I'm skipping it. Next for me comes my birthday. I don't celebrate any more. The only thing I see to celebrate about my birthday is that it's one less to the end and another day closer to it. Then comes Xmas which I no longer celebrate either as much as I can help it. Some things I have to do. I can blow off Thanksgiving but I can't blow off Xmas as much as I try. At least I've managed to limit it to about one day and usual not Xmas day itself. Luckily my family is rarely able to come together on the day so we do it usually just on a weekend near the actual holiday. Then comes the worst one to me which is New Year and then thankfully it's fucking over and never soon enough. Once upon a time I said "Bah Humbug" with a smile on my face now I say, "fuck the holidays" and I'm not smiling at all.

Why? Memories, memories, memories. Memories of all that once was. Memories once so warm they were like a soft blanket on a cold night, now cold reminders and no blanket is warm enough to penetrate the bitter chill. Memories of smiles, of laughter and love. None are here now. Now it's just me. I don't make any attempt to ruin anyone else's good time but don't ask me to participate either. There will be no tree here. No presents opened in the morning or any other time leave them to those who give a damn. I can't shut it all out but it doesn't matter the memories are there whether my eyes are wide open or shut tight. I know what time of year it is whether I choose to celebrate or not. The memories know what time of year it is too and they come flooding in like tsunami waves, crushing wave after crushing wave. Maybe one day I'll take one of those blows to the head that takes all those memories away but for now they're here and the season of pain begins. They say time heals all wounds but "they" don't have a fucking clue what in the fuck "they" are talking about. Each year seems worse than the last and I see this one being no different. The only good thing I can say about this year is that it can't be as bad as last year. Last year was nearly unbearable for a gazillion factors I won't talk about. I'm still here to suffer another holiday season for better or worse. The season where everything is a reminder of things better forgotten. The sleeping dogs are about to awaken once again and again as always I'm not ready. I've found there's no way to prepare, just brace for the blow. A million paper cuts not deep enough to kill just deep enough to bleed and bleed and bleed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcqRaMJgySc

Here's my version of holiday music. This one holds more memories for me than I could ever list. Happy Fuckin' Holidays here's Type O Negative: Red Water

     Finally some good news came my way this weekend. I can't go into much detail yet but it looks like something good is about to come my way and it's long overdue though worth the wait. And no, capital fuckin' N-O, it doesn't have anything to do with women. Fuck women, I could really give two shits about that. like I need that kinda drama in my fucked up life. No, just earth shatteringly good news in my world. It really couldn't have come at a better time and was one of those things that just happens with cosmic randomness of "right time, right place" and that place was somewhere I never could have predicted being only a few hours before being there. So to my new aussie friend thank you so much, you saved my life and you'll never know it. When I can announce this news officially I will but for now suffice it to say I'm one happy motherfucker about to get happier.

     This weekend started with a totally random decision to forego some menial errands that I was looking to procrastinate on so when the opportunity arose to do so I jumped on it. I left work Saturday with a friend who is rapidly becoming someone I can use the term on in reality rather than just for lack of a better term. It was supposed to be basically a lazy just chillin', "why don't we have a few drinks" kind of day. Out of "peer pressure", if you will, the day turned into an opportunity to win a little money. We went to a poker game at the aforementioned aussie's house which my friend was originally trying to get out of but a few calls and my desire to play turned it into the best decision either one of us could have made that day. So we loaded up a bottle of whiskey for him and a bottle of gin for me and down the road we went. I fucking love playing poker and I was pleasantly surprised when we arrived to find there were enough people playing to make the pot worthwhile. I found more patience than I've had in some time which means I was down to about nothing before hitting a string of cards that instead of knocking me out launched me from near the fewest chips on the table to the most. I ended up in 3^rd place winning $50 bucks for the effort. Then came just a lot of drinking with fun people, the previously mentioned good news, and some blackjack. Now blackjack isn't my game and I proved it but at $5 a round it really wasn't very expensive and I even managed to win one though I can't explain how since I really do suck at blackjack for some reason. Imagine that a math major who managed to ace calculus and physics who can't manage to count into a simple game, though admittedly I've never tried that hard. Blackjack just doesn't do it for me. Anyway I had a fantastic time, had a little too much to drink, smoked a little ganja and met some people I'd most definitely like to see again. So thanx you crazy aussie lady for a great time, again I'm sorry for mistaking your accent for a brit, my bad.

     So since I'm in a great fucking mood here's one of my favorite songs of all time. Here is Clutch doing their version of Boom Boom by the late great John Lee Hooker: Electric Worry.

Wow, what a shocker another industry needs my money and yours. This time it's the auto industry dragging their humble asses before Congress like street beggars with tin cups crying, "Change, sir, got any spare change." If you've read any of my blogs you know I was against the $700 Billion bailout for the banks which we can see has worked just so fucking well. If you haven't been paying attention our Treasury Secretary, Hank Paulson, has already blown through $300 Billion of that money with, surprise, surprise, no idea where it all went. Now the Big 3, GM, Ford and Chrysler want $25 Billion on top of the $25 Billion they were handed for retooling just a few months ago, again surprise the retooling wasn't done. So my first instinct is fuck 'em, they fucked up and have run their companies into the ground over the last 30 years while the Japanese and others were making fuel efficient, affordable cars and running the Big 3 into the ground. The American auto makers have only themselves to blame for why things have gotten to the point where bankruptcy is a reality for them. So again my first instinct is to tell them to fuck off and die. But there is more than poor management to blame for their current state. First, right now no one is rushing out to buy any cars let alone gas guzzling pieces of shit being churned out by Detroit. Even if people were lined up around the block to buy new cars right now average Joe Schmos like most of us can't finance a gumball let alone a car or truck. The underlying problem of banks not lending money (which the big bailout was supposed to solve) is still ever present.

So what to do with the Big 3? If they fail millions of jobs are at stake. If we bail them out and the banks don't start lending then a few months from now we'll have to bail them out again. If they are forced into chapter 11 bankruptcies no one knows what will happen. No one really knows what would happen if they were allowed to fail. My guess is someone would step in to buy them for pennies. What if Honda or Toyota bought GM or Ford? Honda and Toyota are run extremely well but there are huge drawbacks like: what happens to pensions, unions, wages, benefits, etc, etc? A friend of mine's father is a GM retiree who has already seen some drastic retirement cuts in the last couple of years and because of the current stock market failures has lost about $120K in his IRA. What happens to him and the million or so like him if GM fails or is bought out by another company? Since pension benefits are one of the major components bankrupting the Big 3, if they go into bankruptcy or get sold retiree benefits would be hard hit. This is not the fault of the retirees. It's the effect of the baby boomers all starting to retire which none of these companies seemed to plan for though everyone knew it was inevitable. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see this coming but as usual in this country nothing gets done until we're at a crisis point. Barring a major epidemic that wipes out everyone over 60, I don't really see a solution. If we give the Big 3 the $25 Billion they are asking for and banks don't start lending again we'll be bailing them out again in March or April next year. If we don't bail them out there are about 3 million people who may be out of work. This is sincerely a no win situation.

So the way I see it is not to bail out another failing business, yes it will hurt a lot of people but if we bail them out now where do we stop? We're up against a coming depression that could make the "Great Depression" look like a walk in the park. Some companies aren't going to make it. Those that survive will come out on the other side in great shape but not all will survive. This is a financial correction that we have put off for years and the procrastination has come home to roost. Bailing out these dinosaurs now will have short term gains and only short term gains. The long view is a massive world wide restructuring and some companies won't survive and some will emerge to take their place. This doesn't happen over night and another bailout is only prolonging the agony. If we hadn't been bailing out industry after industry for the last 8 years we might not be in this situation. We bailed out the airlines after 9/11 but they didn't change anything and some ended up filing chapter 11 anyway so what was the point? We may as well have flushed that money down the toilet and it's the same for the auto makers now. Honda and Toyota aren't going to the Japanese government for a hand out. The Big 3 have sat around for 30 years doing little to nothing to make their businesses more efficient and address the problem of massive retirements from baby boomers and they have no plan now other than to ask for a handout only to come back in a few months and ask for another. They are just like the bum on the street begging for change to buy a 40 only to be back begging again once the 40 has been drunk and the buzz has worn off. The Big 3 have been living on borrowed time for years and now their time is up. It's a shame and it's shameful but it was going to happen eventually. It could have happened at a better time but it didn't and I can't see lending them a little more time just to fail anyway. So I stick with my first instinct, Fuck 'em and let the chips fall where they may. Someone will learn the lesson of their failure and do it better. And that goes for whatever company comes crawling next too. If the service or product a company provides is needed someone will provide it, if the Big 3 had provided it better they wouldn't be in this mess. Cross your fingers and pray if it makes you feel better but reality is a cold hearted bitch and right now she's kicking the Big 3 in the balls. What can I say they should have bought a cup (that's a sports reference to a jock strap for any of you ladies out there scratching your head).