I moved back to Iowa almost a week ago. (Saturday, Oct 17th)
Since then, my happiness has skyrocketed. Things have been working out perfectly.
I start training for my new job on Monday, then actually start the job the Monday after Halloween.

I'm extremely happy. This is job is in the field of photography. I never thought I'd actually have a real photography job, but that never stopped me from applying to them.

I learned some things in this past week about this past year. About other people and myself.

One thing I will NOT let happen to me that others are letting happen to them is that I will not settle for second best. Which, they're not even settling for that.

I know this person. Who used to be a great person, but once something got stuck in her head, there was no changing her mind.

Anyway,
She's 30 and works at the pet store I worked at. Hence me meeting her. She's the manager, but doesn't get treated like the manager. She doesn't make the pay a REAL manager should make. And, she can't even work a full 40 hours. Because the owners of this pet store are so stingy with their money, that they refuse to pay overtime. So if she's getting more hours on her time card than usual, those hours HAVE to stay under 39.5 hours. She can't even hit 40.

Yea... sounds like a great place to work and settle down at. No. Not for me. Sorry. Yea, I worked there for a year, but I was just an employee. That's all. So it doesn't really count for me.

Now I'm 24. I'm talented. I know what I can and can't do.
This girl, is 30. Knows what she can and can't do. But she doesn't do what she actually CAN do.

I'm sorry, I won't settle for that. I won't accept being 30 years old and working at a pet store and barely making money to support myself. I won't settle with my family pulling guilt trips on me to give them money I don't even have. I won't settle for never telling my son no. I won't settle with having FAKE friends. None of it. I won't accept that.

I will take my talent, and I will run with it. I'm talented in more than one thing. And that's a good thing. That means, that if one thing doesn't work, I can take the other and run with it. And I will go as far as I can.

I refuse to accept that the minimal is the best I can have. Fuck that. I want what I want. And what I want is something I have to work for, something I KNOW I can reach for, and something I KNOW I can do. And I will do it. I'm not going to let anything stop me.

I refuse to be 30 and have a suck ass job because I THINK I can't do any better. I refuse to live in a tiny house with an asshole landlord who bitches about too much garbage, or who is always going through my shed, or picking around my house to find things to bitch about.

I have people that I love. I have things I love doing. I have a life to live. I'm going to live it and love it. I'm not going to settle in a life that I don't want. Where I'm miserable all the time. Fuck that. No way, no how.
I have dreams, I have hopes, and I'm going to make them happen. Not just sit and watch all chances fly out the fucking window.

I don't want anyone in my life that's going to bring me down. I don't care who they are. I like to live drama free, and I will keep it that way.


Good fucking day.