Verminous - Impious Sacrilege

In an update for my last blog, the UK has banned Fred Phelps and his family at the Westboro Baptist Church from entering Britain.

The UK Border Agency said it opposed "extremism in all its forms".

A spokesman added: "Both these individuals have engaged in unacceptable behaviour by inciting hatred against a number of communities.

Go UK! Now we just have to wait and see if they have British members of their cult do the protest for them. Only time will tell...

Source

So, it looks like Fred Phelps and his congregation at the Westboro Baptist Church has plans to take at trip to England to protest a play about Matthew Shepard at Queen Mary's College.

Details of the church's first picket in Britain was posted on their website with the slogan "God Hates England; Your Queen Is A W----".

"Some of the best Bible preaching in the history of the world came out of that dark dismal land, but now it is full of all abominations," the notice read.

"God will shortly destroy the UK and the world, but not until they have got the plain, clear message so that they will be without excuse."

"It is the first actual picket. We have been preaching by so many means to the UK for years. The arm of the Lord our God is not shortened by oceans and things, all of which he created, and all of which he knew about when he considered these last hours of the very last days of all," Mrs Phelps-Roper said.

Ah, those cooky rapscallions. The British government isn't sure if it's going to do anything yet, and they're not even sure they believe the relgious nutjobs are even going to make the trip.

Maria Miller, Conservative MP for Basingstoke, said that she had contacted the Home Secretary to see what action the Government may be considering in relation to possible attempts by the Phelps family to enter the country.

She condemned the church's "highly inflammatory language and behaviour" and said the young people who had worked on the play would not be intimidated by threats.

"The most important thing is that a production that is trying to promote tolerance goes ahead and that's what I'm focusing on achieving," she said.

"There's no evidence that they will be coming along and I don't believe they have a base in the UK."

So where's the twist, you ask? Well, apparently the mysterious internet group Anonymous, the same folks behind the awesome Church of Scientology attacks, intend to launch a counter-protest!

Members of Anonymous, the nebulous online community that has previously organised protests against the Church of Scientology, are alreading planning counter-demonstrations outside the college on Friday, posts on internet message boards indicate.

Love that Anonymous.

Source

I really love that "kluh-thunk" sound my record player makes when the arm returns to its sitting position. Something very final about it, like the sound of closing of a book or that "flap-flap" an old projector makes when the film is over. Certainly better than the "whir-whir" that CD players make. And I'm pretty sure MP3 players don't make any sound at all, so fuck them. 

Spinal Tap are working on a new album. Oh, that's right! First new material in nearly twenty fucking years.

Harry Shearer had this to say:

"I think they (Spinal Tap) are trying to revisit their old success. Not that they were ever popular..."

Source

Ok, again, I hate to be the guy to post the feature videos on MySpace, but as someone who grew up watching Married with Children, I really fucking loved this.

Star-ving:  Married with Children Movie

"BEHERIT is back to destroy art. I had very intensive two months, by writing new songs and re-creating the spirit of the BEHERIT sound. I think it turned out to be quite okay, kind of a mixture of all previous releases. It's yet to be mastered and is missing booklet artwork... but hopefully will be released in the second quarter of 2009 by Spinefarm Records."

Hope it's good. There's a lot to live up to there.

Full Interview at Anus.com

Based on a recommendation from a friend because he had read the book himself and because some cool bands had written songs about it, I read "Story of the Eye" by Georges Batallie.

Total crap.

No plot. No drama. Just some pervs childish wetdream.

So what's it about? Two sixteen year olds (the unnamed narrator and his galpal Simone) exploring their sexuality. They fuck on the beach, bring their friend Marcelle into it, then have an orgy that shames everyone they know and drives Marcelle insane which results in her being institutionalized. The narrator and Simone realize they can't continue to fuck without Marcelle, so they decide to break her out. They do, fuck, Marcelle finally snaps, hangs herself, the narrator and Simone play with the body, and then flee the country to avoid being jailed. They go to Madrid, Spain to live with Sir Edmund who is introduced into the story out of the blue with no explanation other than that he'd gladly support Simone. There they continue to fuck, now with Edmund watching, and take in the sights. On a trip to some town they find a church, have sex with the holyman there, strangle him to death, spend some more time evading the police, and then set sail on a yacht to find more sexual misadventure.

Yup.

And eggs. And eyeballs. And pissing.

Lots of eggs, eyeballs, and pissing.

Seriously. There's a whole thing about the narrator and Simone cracking eggs into a toilet, causing Simone to orgasm. In Mardrid, after she kills the holyman, Simone takes out his eye and puts it in her vagina. And every time there's sex, there's piss, which, oddly, none of their random partners ever seem to have a problem with. The holyman? Totally doesn't mind when the narrator pisses in his nose. It's like they all live in a world where everyone shares the authors fetishes and are all just waiting for the right moment to secretly and voyeuristically give into it. Totally unbelievable and not the least shocking. Some piss, eggs and eyes, one suicide and a murder do not a fucked up book make. I'm sure it was totally on the edge back when it was published back in 1928, but in this day and age, and to this hardened ol' chap, it's gonna take a lot more than that to phase me, especially when the story lacks any shred of plot or drama.

Rating: ZERO!

On the 20th I bought Sadistik Exekution's "The Magus" on eBay for $21.49 buy-it-now. The seller, MovieMarz, had a 99% positive feedback rating, so I made the purchase with confidence. Since then they have emailed me twice to tell me that "errors do occur in our warehouse." The first thing that crossed my mind was that they sold me something they didn't have in the first place, which is odd seeing how the listing said they had 2 for sale. So, I figure I'll give their feedback a closer look. Well, let me tell you, a 99% positive feedback rating doesn't look so good when realize that they have 22648 positive ratings for this month, 283 neutral ratings, and a whopping 307, again, all for only the last 30 days. Over all, they have received 2027 negative ratings! And you know what all those negative comments said? That MovieMarz had sold them something that wasn't even in stock in the frist place. I shot them an email asking what the story with my CD was, so I'll give them a chance to respond, but I'm pretty sure there's a PayPal dispute in their not-too-distant future. Fuckers.

(UPDATE: I heard back from MovieMarz. Here is what they had to say. "Our stock numbers said we had the item on hand but there were actually none in the warehouse." Fuckers. I asked for my fucking money back.)

THEN, I gave my cable bill a look. Shit went up from $86 to $107. What the fuck, right? So I look at the itemized list on the back of my bill. $5 for Showtime? Fifty cents for "music choice?" $3.95 for voice mail? I don't use none of that shit, and I certainly never asked for it. Wasn't there last months either, but there it is now. FUCKERS! So, I give them a call. Well guess what? They only taking calls for outages at the moment because of the weather. What the fuck is that shit?! I hope their entire call center gets plauged with syphilis. Double fuckers.

And I guess we're under a boil advisory. Didn't find out until about noon when I stopped in at Speedway and I noticed they had signs up saying they had no coffee and such because of the boil advisory. I hadn't ingested any water before that, but still, it would be nice to know about these things!

I also think it's the time of year that my health insurance goes up for ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON, so I'm really looking forward to that. I need to hurry up and get my damn tooth so I can dump that shit. NOT. WORTH IT.

But all is not shit. This wearther does rock. I had at least a solid inch of ice covering my car today. That ruled, and digging it out was fun. (Seriously.) Also, my Mutiilation DVD came in the mail today as did "Cancer as a Social Activity" by Michael Williams of EYEHATEGOD. Should be a fun read. Already watched the DVD. Not bad. Bit on the short side.

Ok, enough bitching for now. Listening to some Matisyahu and gonna write a review of "Story of the Eye" now. Woot 3 blogs in one day!!!

Two guys in Nigeria were trying to steal a Mazda. Some citizens saw them and tried to intervene. The criminals ran, one escaped, and the other... turned into a goat.

Local escorted the black and white animal to the police station, claiming it
was an armed robber who had used black magic to turn himself into a
goat after trying to steal a Mazda car.

A police spokesman is reported to have said the group of locals saw two men trying to steal
the car and gave chase - one offender escaped while the other "turned
into a goat".

The really weird part? The police take the goat into custody. Even weirder? They say they can't base their info on something mystical and need to prove what happened scientifically.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot
base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to
be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat," the
police spokesman has told international media.

Yeah. Here's the original article.