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...of a madman

ANUBIS



Last Updated: 9/24/2009

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Status: Single
City: CARSON
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 9/22/2004

Blog Archive
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Wednesday, July 01, 2009 

Current mood:Bomb

Ever since the beginnin of my undetermined, imminent
period of lockdown as a home-bound invalid,
it never seemed infinite, like I wouldn't see the end of it.
I got myself right into it, yet the lessons learned in it
humbled my mentality, and even made an influence
on anybody listenin to instances I schooled em with.
"Never get used to always gettin away with shit,
cuz if it ever bites you in the ass, you're gonna pay for it."

Hard knock school was definitely the one to spit about, 
cuz the hardest shit was not knowin when you're gettin out.
Before I always thought, "I'm never goin down the route
of gettin caught up, popped, n locked up..." then I got assed out.
Yeah, I played the role inside, and I was the "homie," no doubt,
dippin into niggas' spread, and buildin up my county clout.
There's a gang of young ass cats that acted like they were fuckin proud
about the jobs they did, so they always talked all fuckin loud,

but those are the same young motherfuckers we know, actin as a mouthpiece
and so the not-so-younger cats had to "knock that nigga out, please!"
The educated talent never has to point it out, seein
that I gave respect where it was due, they chilled around me.
I spit the wisdom that I've given homies, family, hoodrats, women,
niggas, bitch niggas, scholars, geniuses, and even children.
And for the eleven days I was sleepin, eatin, shittin, and cookin,
I pulled some N's from my book and shot em down. "Good lookin!"

When I got released, my mind at ease, I finally breathed sighs of relief,
until I realized that I didn't recognize the scenery surroundin me.
And the very first hint of nicotine I said, "I beg you, please,
can I bum a square? I came from there [jail] and I really feel like a fiend."
And that first hit brought me back to the Marlboro field of dreams,
I called the family and happily walked to In-N-Out cuz I had to eat.
After I got my food and extra water, I just took a seat
and waited for my parents; I gave wrong directions accidentally.

Eventually, I was found and we gave hugs as I was homeward bound.
When we parked, I took a shit, shower, changed my clothes and looked around.
I asked them what happened to my property, I didn't get my phone.
Apparently the deputies allowed my dad to grab the things I owned,
when I only signed out for my keys. Anyway, it's too late now,
I was finally home... and been 9 months locked down.
Steady chillin at the crib from October 17th to June 25th,
the last Thursday of the month and I finally got my ass dismissed.

I maintained, and it wasn't really bad at all.
I haven't missed much, aside from goin out and makin calls.
Lifestyle changes made, priorities got re-assessed,
from livin day-to-day, I appreciate the lifestyle rest.
I'm just takin baby steps, no need for me to feel the need
to get up out the crib at a moment's notice or for me to leave.
To all my trues, that's family too, y'all held me down, I'll throw up a W [dub],
still the funny asshole with all the jokes, and y'all will always have all my love.

Good lookin, fam!  I got you, all day.

*Cordial interpretation for the slanguistically challenged: 

Thank you everyone, I deeply appreciate your supportive efforts.  I am gratefully indebted to everyone and their kindness.
Sunday, November 30, 2008 
For those that don't know and still care, somewhat, I've been MIA for the longest time with good reason. Before my status update of incarceration, I was just workin n gettin my hustle on, truth be told. That was about it. After gettin clamped up n goin into Santa Ana Main Jail for about 11 days, I came back out with no whip, no phone, no freedom, no trust, no shit, right?

Long story short, I was taken into custody due to being late for court. NOT for being a day late, no, I was half an hour late after role call, and I was lookin at doin 9 months cuz it was technically against the court ruling that I was warned twice before to not be late or it may be considered a probation violation. I technically shouldn't even be out, but my public defenders were fightin my case to the nitty gritty, tough shit n titty, cuz they knew it was bullshit that I was locked up for NOT violating my actual probation, it was just a court ruling that I violated.

Nonetheless, I've been out for about a month n a half trying to figure out what the hell I should be doing with myself and not going crazy from boredom. Everything's cool right now, so I can't complain about jack shit. So if ever any of you want or need to contact me, you'll have to hit me up at my crib. Find someone who has the number, or hit me up directly to get it if you really want it. I'm not expecting anyone to since I doubt anyone really gives a shit, which is why I posted this blog to at least confirm that I'm not dead yet. And I won't apologize to any haters that are disappointed by that fact.

*Shout to my nigga, Pat. It's his 27th bday 2day, so go holla at him. Peace
Saturday, November 29, 2008 
What was your first​ alcoh​olic bever​age?​
Ever in life? I think it was Jack n Coke

Have you ever lived​ with a girlf​riend​/​boyfr​iend?​
Dorm.. does that count?

Have you ever thoug​ht about​ killi​ng someo​ne in detai​l?​
In spectacular detail

Have you ever peed while​ on the phone​?​
I'll shit on the phone, I don't care. Haha.

What do you have pierc​ed on you?
Nothin, no more. It was my left ear

What do you have tatto​oed on you?
Nadagotdayamthing

Have you ever been on a blind​ date?​
Nah

Do you remem​ber your first​ favor​ite song?​
Uhh...I think it was "Let's play house" by DPG.

Are you talle​r than your mom?
Have you seen my mom? She's 5 foot nothin

What was your first​ scree​n name?​
I remember it, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna expose myself even if I wasn't the one who made it up.

What are you plann​ing on doing​ after​ filli​ng this out?
Probably have one last square while droppin a deuce in the brownie bowl, then knoccin the fucc out

What would​ happe​n if you had a baby with the last perso​n you kisse​d?​
Oh dear god, all hell would break loose for everybody.

Do you sleep​ on your stoma​ch?​
I rotate sleeping positions at random, so it is possible that I will every-so-often

Are you datin​g the last perso​n you kisse​d?​
Nope

What are you liste​ning to?
My bro engrossed in his artwork on his laptop next to me

Next time you will kiss someo​ne?​
Like I plan this shit, get the fucc outta here!

Do you get along​ bette​r with the same sex or oppos​ite?​
I get along with everyone I know.

How did you and your numbe​r 4 becom​e frien​ds?​
Who the shit is number 4? Jay? If it is, we been homies since 3rd grade

Have you ever kisse​d someo​ne whose​ name start​ed with a B?
There ain't too many females I know whose name that starts with a "B" that actually look like they were worth going thru the trouble of doing

Would​ you ever dye your hair blond​e?​
Hell to the no

Have you ever gotte​n a sunbu​rn so bad it hurt to move?​
Amazingly no. I've only gotten sunburnt once

What is bothe​ring you right​ now?
Freedom and my lack thereof...but the bothersomeness is slowly dissipating.

Have you ever read an entir​e book in one day?
I have, but it's not something that I'm willing to do again.

If you could​ move to Afric​a would​ you?
Are you kidding? WTF for?! I look n live like a polar bear with a glandular problem. So my house is in a constant state of refrigeration, all year long

What do you have to do tomor​row?​
Workout in the morning, find something mentally stimulating to prevent boredom insanity, eat n smoke in the afternoon, then workout again at night. That's a daily routine.

What were you doing​ at 9 this morni​ng?​
I didn't see 9 this AM.

Are you plann​ing on child​ren?​
It would be nice to conjure up another me

Are you tryin​g for one?
Holy hell no

Pregn​ant?​
I don't have the correct anatomical organs in order to be in that kind of predicament, nor do I engage in the act of homoeroticism to achieve pregnancy

How'​s your heart​?​
It's there. It didn't go anywhere without me in order for me to have to constantly check up on it

Does anybo​dy have feeli​ngs for you?
If anyone does, I don't know about it

Will you be in bed withi​n twent​y minut​es?​
HA!

Are you watch​ing TV while​ doing​ this?​
No

Descr​ibe the shirt​ you'​re weari​ng?​
Black polo

What was the first​ thing​ you did when you woke up?
Smoke n shit

Could​ you go out in publi​c looki​ng like you do now?
I have.

What time did you go to sleep​ last night​?​
It was no longer night when I slept, though I believe it was 5 or 6am. I was helping clean for hobgobble-gobble day and no, I wasn't on drugs this time.

How tall is the last perso​n you hugge​d?​
5 foot nothin

Whens​ the last time you ate Chine​se food?​
Last month

Is it hard leavi​ng peopl​e behin​d?​
Like how? Leaving them behind because I walk/drive faster than they do, type of shit? No. I make it a habit to care "just enough" so that it's not hard at any given moment.

Dark hair or light​ hair in the oppos​ite sex?
As long as they have hair - on their head...anywhere else is unsightly and should be removed ASAP

Are you stubb​orn?​
If the unanimous 1-word description of me, from all of my friends and family, is "asshole," would you still be asking me that question? (GREAT example of my assholism!) *Pat myself on the back*

Ever been told you were loved​ by someo​ne who didn'​t mean it?
Hmm... They told me they didn't mean it at one point

Is someo​ne think​ing about​ you right​ now?
It is possible, though it doesn't matter to me whether anyone does.

Do you have any pets?​
A deaf cat

Do you miss anyth​ing?​
The toilet sometimes if I have to wake up in the middle of the night n take a piss

Have you ever caugh​t a butte​rfly?​
Catch n release

Do you like thing​s that glow in the dark?​
As long as they're supposed to glow in the dark
Thursday, January 31, 2008 
Friday, January 18, 2008 
    I'll make it short.

-got iPhone

-old phone locked me out from my phonebook

-need numbers from tha homies

-holla at me. i still got tha same number. text/email/myspace msg/call/smoke signal/sign language/whatever you gotta do to holla at me
Thursday, November 29, 2007 
Or keep that load of horseshit in your fuccin face...better yet, blow it back up the horse's ass cuz I'm tired of defrauding crockery.  That just seems to be the topic of discussion lately, no actual reason for why I feel like speakin on it.  Anyway...

Most cock-hats that you meet, generally put on their "my anus is cramping cuz I'm making a poor attempt of a good 1st impression" face, to prove that they can be polite and cordial without drawing too much attention to anything specific.  That might fit the definition of "professional"  for those who like vanilla with extra sprinkles of average, topped with whipped mediocrity; then there are some who like to experience different flavors of personality while still maintaining professionalism.  To the miniscule populous that has fucced over dessert altogether and are now smoking a cigarette, I applaud your askewed taste in life, you too must have an assholistic sense of reality.

In short, what I'm saying is 1st impressions are temporary jokes until people eventually see the societal anomoly in your personality that you were hiding, like Sloth from The Goonies.  This is where niggaz would tell you 2 keep it 100% real, but cuz it's a cliche, nobody knows what the fuck that really means.  All I see are plastic ass, fake fuckin bitch made lames that put up saran-wrap fronts and think it's all G just cuz I can't smell their ass briskets... but I can see the dook in their cola holes.

I just believe in leaving an impression, period.  Cuz dammit I'ma show you what I'm really like, so you're gonna remember me 1 way or another, good or bad; I'll either leave a beauty mark or a battle scar.  The fools that don't get recognized for shit are usually the people you see "trying too hard", or the ones that make you feel like "I don't buy that shit."  On the real, the best thing to do is call them out on their shit cuz they'll do one of two things: 1) cop up to it and eventually act right, or 2) cover up with more bullshit.  If these niggaz get good at fakin the funk, they can fuck up some lives.

So what in the hell was my point?  If more people would just act right and be real, there wouldn't be so many retarded anal spreaders fuckin shit up for the rest of us.
Monday, October 15, 2007 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Check out this video: Elfen Lied Ep 1



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I just found out about this anime, but it's already one of my favorite ones next to Bleach. I've already watched the entire series in 2 days, it was that dope.
Monday, August 13, 2007 

around the time when all tha new nursing graduates decide to take their nclex exams and like to wait second by second until the results come in, somebody late last week asked me, with the utmost extreme lament of begging desperation, to pray for them. i couldn't reject the request from someone sounding like a weak kitten looking for food.... until it was shortly followed by, "i mean if a thug like you doesn't go to church or anything, then the prayer should be extra meaningful, right?"

yeah...ummm.....

i then texted her that "in times of despair and hopeless desperation, people put belief in the feeling that something, beyond their own reasonable logic, influences the cause for sudden misfortune, as a last attempt to deny accepting the harsh realities of consequential actions and events...nonetheless, i'll pray for you"

all i'm sayin is, minus theological sacreligion, say you were never taught tha concept of god...you wouldn't be begging for prayer, but you would be looking for something above your comprehension of sanity, to minimize the stress and anxiety of the world, right? flip it... if you realized that you're stressin cuz you decided to go thru 3 years of medical hell, and chose to take a life-altering test of medicinal jargon and conversion, of your own will... you pretty much have no other emotion except for egocentricity.. it's all yo ass. so it ain't that bad.

that's all i'm sayin....i should be a haruhist

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 
Tuesday, April 03, 2007 
...Is my biggest regret. Why? Because that statement is either contradictory to itself, or merciless; or maybe I'm most likely misinterpreting it.

To live life with no regrets would literally mean, do everything without remorse. Think about it, to regret says that you did(n't) do something that you feel you should(n't) have; and the next time a similar situation occurs, if ever, then your response would be different or the opposite of your initial one. Right? Now this is why it's contradictory. There is no way you can experience everything, as if a decision didn't have any effect on your life, or simply never happened. If you choose to do something, you always wonder, "what would have happened if .... instead of .... ?" Well, let's say you still have the choice to act on the other option, but even still, your initial response would still affect everything after that. e.g.: Marriage. It's a choice that affects your whole life, no matter the length of time. Initially you say yes, then something happens to cause regret, and curiosity of wanting to know if saying no, would have changed certain events. Maybe they would have, but you would never know. Even if there is a separation and you're no longer married, it still happened no matter what. And that too becomes a regret; even when all options were exhausted.

It's merciless because your actions will affect anybody that it should. Should you offend someone, nothing following that situation can ever change the fact you still offended them. You can apologize all you want, it STILL happened. In fact no regrets means "fuck saying sorry." Why should you? If somebody gets hurt, tough shit, right? At least you did/said what you felt. By that logic, you would be a cold-hearted son of a whore. Yet contrary to delusion, regret would imply that there was an unfavorable outcome, and now you wanna know what "woulda, shoulda, coulda" happened. But who knows, maybe ... just maybe, that time machine you always wished for, might appear this time so that "none of this ever happened." When it does, tell the leprechauns that I'm auctioning off their pots of rainbow gold to the gay Smurfs, if they don't stop sexually abusing the Trix rabbit with yellow moons, orange stars, pink hearts, and green clovers.

Now as for my misinterpretation, I'm sure the implied meaning is to do the best you can and whatever happens, happens, and accept it. Prioritize the values of importance and self-happiness, where the small things in life can never outweigh the best things. Then the happy funtime work song plays in the background while the trees hold branches of olive and peace as populations of the world join together to put aside their misgivings and unite as a harmonious collaboration of fairy fluff.

Look, dammit. I'm not looking for cliche answers, silver linings, greener grass, or the bright side to these kinds of questions. I'm attempting to inspire a different aspect, or to some, a whole new concept of thinking: Realistically. Reality sucks dirty ass. Don't agree? Then take a shit in a bowl, pour some cereal and milk over it, then eat it with a smile. Repeat until you achieve constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth. For the rest of you snowflakes, concentrating on positive over negative, doesn't do jack shit for you but create a false sense of blind hope. "At least [some bullshit to an extreme] never happened..." or "It could be worse..." No, none of those examples actually occurred, fuckface; otherwise you'd be trying to think of some other smoke to blow up my ass.

The only cliche applicable to the fucked up reality of life at all, is
"Shit Happens" ... so deal with it accordingly.