(UPDATED SLIGHTLY ON 11.5.09)

a bunch of random shit about me, haha... I'm lame.... deal with it.

My life revolves around the number 4. Two of my favorite bands, the cranberries and smashing pumpkins rule... but a lot of there songs finish in even numbers of beats that go into groups of fours, so I can listen to these bands without having to make up more beats at the end of the song so I don't go fucking crazy.

I know all the words to Rosenrot and Mutter by Rammstein, and even though I'm German, and can speak "some" German, I don't know half of what I'm fucking saying.

The Cranberries and Smashing Pumpkins are like my drugs, music isn't life people, but I crave their music more than any other bands.

I just pictured Eric and Rob Zombie having "relations"... interesting.... *saves that thought for later*

Despite all the black I wear, it isn't my favorite color, green is. Blue is my second favorite, and silver makes me happy =] I may have a lot of leopard print shit, but my real weakness is zebra print.

I have a huge thing for biomechanical tattoos. I also HATE color in tattoos.

I have five tattoos, and 14 piercings. No, they don't hurt as bad as you think, it's all quite tolerable.

I look like shit 70% of the time (this means messy hair, dirty clothes, and no eyebrows), the other 30% of the time I look half decent.

It's always nice to get "Oh, your hot comments", but I don't believe you.

Sometimes I get so pissed at people hitting me and telling me I look perfect, that send them photos of me when I first wake up. The little bastards that say they still see perfection are brown nosing douche bags and get on my nerves.

I have three brothers, no, scratch that, four. Javen, Deven, Ryan, and of course Corbin has ALWAYS been like a brother to me. I will NEVER let another fucking man come between Corbin and myself, he will always be like a brother to me, he is my family, so fuck you if you don't like it. I have one sister, and she isn't really related to me. Maria has always been there for me, ALWAYS, and I will never leave her side. I also love a great deal of my other friends, you know who you are. In fact, I might write a little bit about a few people now.

Maria - Her family is my family, and mine is hers. I would be devastated if anything ever happened to her.

Corbin - I would literally bawl and loose my fucking mind if he ever went away, he is one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

Eric - He is the best man anyone could ever hope for. He's the perfect father, he's the perfect friend, and he treats me with respect and dignity. He seems to think he needs me more than I need him, but he is mistaken.

Libby, Malia, Darcee and Burt - I'm putting you all together because I have about the same thing to say about all of you. You are all kick ass girls, and I will help you with anything you need. You guys kept me sane through my PPD, and I love you girls. Libby owes me money nigga! =P

I love my quiet time, but I also love to be around a lot of people. I used to be extremely shy. It took weeks before I'd even talk to some of my friends I have now, and now I talk to anyone and everyone. I feel myself turning into Gary, seeing as I often have hour long conversations with random workers at walmart.

Almost every woman with kids feels the need to share their birth horror stories, sadly, I'm one of them. Damn it.

I call my son a number of names. I call him Monster Mash, Squee, and Mr. Baby Man.

I have a new kitten names Dudley. (recently gone missing! nooooes!)

I only own two pairs of pants that are wearable. The other (very few) pairs that I have are ripped down the ass or in the crotch area and I'm tired of fucking duct taping them.

I'm using a paperclip to keep the pants I'm wearing right now together.

I'm a horrible procrastinator. I'm also quite forgetful lately. If I say I will make something for you, and I don't, it's because I forgot. Please remind me.

I ignore one basic makeup rule, and that's to not put mascara on the lower eyelashes.... yeah, I do it anyways. However I do follow the BIGGEST makeup rule, and that's to never fucking wear black lipstick. After years of searching, I believe I found literally one girl who looked half decent in it.

I love piercing people, and I'm good at it. My piercings are straight and done the right way. Either go to a pro. to have your shit done, or come to me.... don't go to your best friend's cousin's little sister... dumb ass. I'm getting my job at a shop soon, and I really can't wait. They loved my work, so I guess that means I do something right, heh. Migh I also point out I did a friend's snakebites when I was shitfaced, and they came out perfectly straight. =D

I sell a bunch of random shit from catalogs and make commission off what I sell, so buy shit from me bitches.

I find myself correcting other people's grammatical errors, and I hate it.

I love colorful dreads, LOVE them, but for some reason, I'm wanting all black one's at the moment =/

I usually choose diet soda over regular. Not because of the 0 calories, but because I actually prefer the taste. Diet tastes better in my opinion, and doesn't make my stomach hurt from all the sugar.

I don't like chocolate all that much. It's "ok".

I have nearly every html code memorized, but for some damn reason I always forget how to do url links, so half the time I have to fucking go to W3 and refresh my memory.

I don't know my own house number, granted, it is new, but we've had it for a few months now. But let's face it, I never have to call home.... if I'm not at home and I have to call someone, it's usually my mom, and I know her cell number, so in all honesty, I have made absolutely no effort to memorize my house number.

I'm a huge baby when I'm sick. I don't expect people to wait on me hand and foot, but I do beg them too.

I'm a sucker for a man who scratches my back lightly before bed (or hell, any time).

I get compliments on a daily basis, online and in real life, but I still dislike the way I look. Most of us do though, heh.

I doubled in pant sizes since before I got pregnant to now, hah, damn, but Maria and I are working our asses off (literally) this summer so we can both be thin like we once were (Maria used to be a fucking twig!)

I often buy shit that I never use, but I can't get rid of these things because I love them.

I used to love Barney as a child, and my son loves him (I hear Barney on the t.v. right now actually), but I never knew who Riff was until about three weeks ago when I saw him on an episode.

I think Mulan looked like a dyke even when she dressed like a girl.

I hate body hair, but some facial hair I can stand.

I'm a huge sucker for nerds, or guys that are good with computers or other technological gear.

I have ankle problems, and have had them all my life.

I always thought I was adopted because my brother, mom and dad has asthma and allergies and I didn't, up until I got asthma and allergies, heh.

I often think everyone is dieing to me, but I decide to believe them anyways. I have terrible paranoia.

I'm allergic to Mt. Dew, it makes me throw up and get sick, but I used to be able to drink it years and years ago. Gah, I fucking miss=[

I'm sleepy, so I will write more later, but in all actuality, I'm probably going to forget.

Jenga bitches.

I'm bored, so I'm making a list of stuff that pisses me off =]

Why? I have no fucking clue....

-Scene kids that make fun of emos. Your both lame, deal with it.

-People who just fuck around with "hues" in photos and think it counts as editing. A fucking monkey could do that, and photobucket editing is lame. Get cs4, a user's manual, and shut the fuck up up. If you have no talent, don't pretend to be "the shit".

-People who sound horrible and still call themselves a band. Or girls that think they will hit it big when in reality they sound like a dyeing child with emphysema.

-Internet Explorer. I fucking hate it. Mozilla is free, download it.

-People who think changing font colors and using myspace layout generators counts as having experience with html.

-People who make a complete mockery of the English language. I'm a grammar nazi.

-Cat piss. This is self explanatory.

-People who think all emo kids cut themselves. I hate emos, I really do, and as much as i hate to be an "emo advocate", cutting is part of a mental disorder, one that I may not fully understand, but it still is one, and it has nothing to do with a fucking stereotype.

-Child molesters. This one is also self explanatory.

-People who can't tell someone how they feel about them, whether it be good or bad, If you don't like someone, don't act like you do, and if you like someone, fucking tell them.

-Cheaters. Who likes cheaters?

-Having to pee when its hot out. I hate it. My legs feel cool for the two seconds I'm draining the snake (haha), then I have to put my damn pants back on =[

-I hate it when it's really hot out, and I go swimming or something. I love swimming, but I hate being wet afterwords, haha.

-Nail polish. It's tacky, especially red or black, and it looks even worse on men.

-Muscles. They are gross, and sicken me. When I see someone with muscles, I automatically assume they smell. I don't know why, but bleh, I hate muscles.

-Tans and fake tans. Since when did having skin darker than your hair become attractive? Bleach blond hair and orange skin is the most unappealing look anyone could fucking have. Have fun looking like a fucking drone. I prefer pasty white fucking skin. I have never even dated a guy with the slightest tan, they sicken me.

-Fat cells. Everyone hates fat, haha.

-The smell of doritos. I used to love them, now I can't even stand their smell.

-When people think killing or hurting animals is funny. Since when did that become funny?

-People who dwell on blood and knives. Its so cliche. "Oh, what turns you on?"..."blood!".... fuck you... its just blood, its not cool, its not sick, its just red liquid. I wonder if ketchup makes them wanna knock one off?

-People who treat owners of websites like they are some sort of "god".

-People who push their religion on others.

-People who think vampire freaks is about vampires and being a blood loving freak, when in all reality, the site has nothing to do with vampires, and there are very few "freaks".... it's a great site, it really is.

-People who talk shit about people when they A. don't know them, and B. are telling lies. I hate it when people hear something about someone and assume its true. I have had numerous girls come up and ask me why I don't let Josh see Jaden. First of all, i do, josh never fucking calls, and when I call him, he's not home, that's not my fault. I never cheated on him either, so don't call me a loose whore, take a look at him, he's a lieing cheating bastard. He told someone that Jaden used to live with him, and that I "stole" him, and that he was much better living with him, and that I do drugs and don't spend any time with him... haha, bull shit, jaden never once lived with him, EVER... Jaden has always been with me, and he is happy and safe with me. He told another girl that he got a paternity test, and Jaden wasn't his. He never had a paternity test done....I know Jaden is his for two reasons. Look at Jaden. Where the fuck did he get the bleach blond hair from? That, and I was a virgin when I met Josh, and never slept with anyone else for the entire duration of our relationship. He told one girl that he hadn't seen Jaden in 10 months....and Jaden was only 7 months old. This little section isn't even really about josh, its about bitches who like to start shit with me because they think everything he tells them is true. Well, it's not, don't start shit with me until you know the fucking facts. The sad thing is, I am trying to be friends with him, but it's really hard to do when other people can't mind their own fucking business. He has a great family, and I love them to death, just as I love his daughter to death, and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for that family, so don't try and tell me I never fucking cared about any of them. Hell, I still visit his family from time to time. So those of you who like to message me and tell me that I treated his family and daughter like shit can go to hell, like I said, I love those guys. All in all, I;m writing this little part so you stupid bitches stop fucking lurking my page and "harassing" me through emails about shit that isn't even true.

-I hate headaches, I have one right now...they are never fun XD

There are more, but I'm bored of writing. What are some things that grind your gears?

This is true!
Went to the Misfits show tonight in Columbus as Alrosa Villa.
Talked to Jerry for a bit, shook his hand, slapped his ass while he was on stage, and then got some shit signed, its been a great week!
When I slapped his ass, his pants were "thinner" than I though they were, and my hand kinda went in his "crack" a bit, ahaha!
His ass jiggled a bit too! I loved it
He spit on my face quite a few times. I was right at the front by him well to the "sie" where he was, right there, could reached out and touched him! haha. Anyways, the fan blew all of his sweat on me, and every time he spit, it went right on me, heh.
My hand sewn misfits shirt is now much better, with the signatures =D
IF you were at the show, send me some pictures! I sadly didn't bring my camera, as its shattered =[
I love you Darcee, thanks for telling me about the show! <3

We are stars.. we are... we are stars... we are...

haha

GOoOoOoOd mood

Chinese is always so much better cold and leftover, yum....

My first playlist is all ghey now, more than half of them aren't working, bleh

I'm quitting the gay anti-depressants. I'm tired of them changing my judgement... if I'm sad, then let me be sad god damn it... haha, I'm over them, and I'm calling m,y dr. asap

Its rediculous, eery time I get mad now, somebody is always like "Did you take your pills today?" and in a seriouse way, not a "fucking with you" kind of way, bleh.... I don't need pills to be happy.. well... ehemmm... yeah XD
"The wind blows and I know"
"The nightmare rides on"

I applied at Kmart, aha... I am trying to get a job soon.

I was in Chillicothe the other day, in a fabric shop, and was offered an awesome opportunity, to partner up with this website>>>> sludgefaktory.com

He also has a shop in Chillicothe, this guy's pretty rad, so I'm taking the offer, after I get a website up, he will affiliate me, and then we'll work from there, so I need to get my ass sewing, haha, and my sewing machine is being a failfag and not working right, so it needs fixed, and OF COURSE it has to happen now, and I have a blanket to make due pretty soon, so this bitch better get to working, and SOON!

 

Anyways, I beleive that is just about all for now, if I have any more updates and such, i shall post, until then, fuck, idk... I can't think of a witty catch phrase to end this with... "and that's my mamma".... heh

 

<3 Auf Wiedersehen

 

TAOISM: Shit Happens
CONFUCIANISM: Confuscious says,"Shit Happens"
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
HINDUISM: This shit happened before
BONZAI BOZOISM: Make shit happen.. OH SHIT!!
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit.
AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
SHINTOISM: Everything except Japan is Shit.
EXISTENTIAL: I shit, therefore I sit.
MINIMALIST: Shit
VEGETARIAN: Don't eat that shit!
DEJA VU: I've been through this shit before.
LAO-TZU: It is utterly pointless to try to explain shit.
EASTERN ORTHODOX: Rome doesn't know shit.
SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST: Shit happens everyday but Saturday.
UNITARIAN: Shit is all basically the same.
HOLISTIC: There's more shit here than I figured on.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Want to buy a subscription to our Shit?
CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST: If Shit happens, don't worry. It will go away on its own.
JAINIS: When Shit happens don't step in it.
CALVINISM: If you're not saved, tough Shit.
BORN AGAIN: Shit happens but I am saved.
SCIENTOLOGY: This Shit is expensive.
NEW AGE: Crystal power counteracts Shit.
JESUITISM: If Shit happens and no one hears it, did it really make a sound?
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens, Rama, Rama.
SATANISM: Shit rules!
STOICISM: So Shit happens, Big deal. I can take it.
HEDONISM: When Shit happens, enjoy it!
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this Shit.
CLINTONISM: Just don't inhale that Shit.
NATIVE AMERICAN CHURCH: We want our Shit back!
RLDS: Brigham is full of Shit.
MORMONISM: It's evil to say "Shit."
DEMOCRATISM: How can we send a man to the moon and still have all this shit?
REPUBLICANISM: There's nothing like a good shit. Flush the toilet.
FEMINISM: Put the seat back down, you Shit.
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
FUNDAMENTALISM: Born-again shit.
EVANGELISM: Shit happens. (Pass it on.)
EPISCOPALIAN: Fecal matter occurs.
JIM JONESISM: If shit happens, drink Kool-Aid.

Random Facts

-The most common name in the world is 'Mohammad'.

- 45% of dollar bills you'll ever own have been in a stripper's g-string.

- 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

- On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

- There are three golf balls sitting on the moon.

- A snail can sleep for three years.

- Male hospital patients fall out of bed twice as often as female hospital patients.

- Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

- According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction.

- When you die your hair still grows for a couple of months.

- The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million.

- The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

- The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

- When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food. 

- The word "nerd" was first coined by Dr. Seuss in "If I Ran the Zoo."

- The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

- Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down -- hence the expression "to get fired"

-The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

- If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

- Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

- The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle

- Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

- The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War 2 killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

- If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

- Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w the film down so you could see his moves.

- The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

- Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin Look-alike contest.

- Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".

-The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

-The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

- The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

-If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

-In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

-Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

-In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent
of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to
have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that
they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K.(Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.

It seems like everyone leaves me. Noooo I’m not being a crazy phsycotic loon....or am I, hmm?

Everyone in my life has either left me, or disapointed me to no end.

I honestly feel like if I don’t get back with my ex, I will be alone forever, because for so far he’s the only one who has loved me (I think)

I always get the guys I don’t want, and the ones I do would never want anything to do with me, and I KNOW this, pretty much....

I am the only one out of my friends who doesn’t have someone. And its not that I need a bf, because I know no one does really, its just that I had a year of "affection" so to speak, and it stopped abrubtly. I miss having someone to hold, and someone hold me, having someone to kiss... among other things, heh, it just kinda feels shitty ya know?

Its like I’m to fat for this guy, to skinny for this other guy ( I dont know how, haha), to ugly for this guy, wear to much makeup, or I don’t wear enough at all, I act like one of the guys 2 much, and to someone else I wouldn’t fit in with him and his friends.... pretty much this is how life works right? haha...damn it! =P

"reaching out your arms for something, thats just not there"

I need a break from this honestly, I need someone to take my mind off of shit! GAH!

Well.... back to watching the news, and trying to sleep.... toodles....haha....toodles, great now I’m gonna have this word stuck in my head all day....

toodles.... ahhh just FUCKING FANTASTIC! ..... fantastic elastic! damn it, ok I’m going to bed.... night all....

Mayonaise - Smashing Pumpkins

Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Doomed
Pick your pockets full of sorrow
And run away with me tomorrow
June

We'll try and ease the pain
But somehow we'll feel the same
Well, no one knows
Where our secrets go

I send a heart to all my dearies
When your life is so, so dreary
Dream
I'm rumored to the straight and narrow
While the harlots of my perils
Scream

And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Mother weep the years I'm missing
All our time can't be given
Back
Shut my mouth and strike the demons
That cursed you and your reasons
Out of hand and out of season
Out of love and out of feeling
So bad

When I can, I will
Words defy the plan
When I can, I will

Fool enough to almost be it
And cool enough to not quite see it
And old enough to always feel this
Always old, I'll always feel this

No more promise no more sorrow
No longer will I follow
Can anybody hear me
I just want to be me
When I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

 

Friday I'm in Love - The Cure

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate...

I don't care if Mondays black
Tuesday, Wednesday - heart attack
Thursday, never looking back
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday, you can hold your head
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday - watch the walls instead
It's Friday, I'm in love

Saturday, wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday, never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday, I'm in love

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

 

Nymphetamine - Cradle of Filth

Laid to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A "V" of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And though Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain....
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above onto me?
For once upon a time
On the binds of your loneliness
I could always find the slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision

Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine

Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission

None better...
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.

Wicked with your charm
I'm circled like prey
Back in the forest
Were whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(keeping Sodom at at bay)

Fold to my arms
Hold their message away
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above onto me?
For once upon a time
On the binds of your loneliness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision

Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine

Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission

None better...
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.

 

Closer - NIN

you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
help me i broke apart my insides, help me i've got no soul to sell
help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself
i want to fuck you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god
you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything
help me tear down my reason, help me its' your sex i can smell
help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else
i want to fuck you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god
through every forest, above the trees
within my stomach, scraped off my knees
i drink the honey inside your hive
you are the reason i stay alive

Sink, Florida, Sink- Against! Me

Not one more word tonight
Between here and there
We'll put a distance the size of the ocean
So now this heart can beat a skipping rhythm
As the cadence carries me
I almost drift away
Far enough to forget
But when it comes you cannot hesitate
And when found I will write
An account and seal it in an envelope
Addressed to your last known residence

Whoaaaa
Whoa - oh - oh - ah - ohhh
Woah - oh - oh - ah - ohhhhh
Woah - oh - oh - ohhhhhh

And we sink, and we drown
And what is lost can never be found
Well these arms did swim
Until the lungs pulled in
Panic was lost in a deep understanding
That you will see what is wrong with everything
What is wrong with you and me
They make all the right reasons to fuck it up
You're gonna fuck it up

Whoaaaa
Whoa - oh - oh - ah - ohhh
Woah - oh - oh - ah - ohhhhh
Woah - oh - oh - ohhhhhh

(That sounded pretty good to me)
(I thought it was pretty good

 

Dont Speak - No doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

 

Misery - Soul Asylum

They say misery loves company
We could start a company and make misery

Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to see

Put me out of my misery
I'd do it for you, would you do it for me
We will always be busy making misery

We could build a factory and make misery
We'll create the cure; we made the disease

Frustrated, Incorporated
Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to feel

Put me out of my misery
All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever after happily, making misery

Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty

Frustrated, Incorporated
Frustrated, Incorporated

Frustrated, Incorporated (put me out of my misery)
Frustrated, Incorporated (I'd do it for you, would you do it for me)
Frustrated, Incorporated (forever after happily)
Frustrated, Incorporated (making misery)

 

Linger- The Cranberries

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade.

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything.

I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong. I was wrong.
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you.

But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

And I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

 

War child- The Cranberries

Who will save the war child baby?
Who controls the key?
The web we weave is thick and sordid,
Fine by me.

At times of war we're all the losers,
There's no victory.
We shoot to kill and kill your lover,
Fine by me.

War child, victim of political pride.
Plant the seed, territorial greed.
Mind the war child,
We should mind the war child.

I spent last winter in New York,
And came upon a man.
He was sleeping on the streets and homeless,
He said, "I fought in Vietnam."

Beneath his shirt he wore the mark,
He bore the mark with pride.
A two inch deep incision carved,
Into his side.

War child, victim of political pride.
Plant the seed, territorial greed.
Mind the war child,
We should mind the war child.

Who's the loser now? Who's the loser now?
We're all the losers now. We're all the losers now.

War child. X2

 

When you're gone- The Cranberries

Hold onto love that is what I do now that I've found you.
And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you.

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby...

Hold onto my hands, I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everything's stinking, stinking without you.

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby...


Ahh why do I wanna slit the bitches throat.... fucking shit

Your fate is mindless, my heart is cold. Fuck what your mother said, do as your told. Your soul is wasted, my life untold, I will fuck you, your face behold. The mighty violence, the night at bay, the fucking rythem, the fucking lies. Your fate is mindless, my heart is cold, FUCK what your mother said do as your told. Slit your fucking throat, drown on the blood, fuck what your mother said do as your told.

hehe....boredness has consumed me, I wann bang you, yes you, no not you, you, nooo not you, you, yes you, my fucking god! gahhhh bored as fuck!!!! someone come keep me company ;)

 

blady blady blady blah...fuckbeans....sollllid nigga! =..

flabbergasted, haha....doo doo doo....

 

call me puhleeze ;)

THE REAL REASON CANNABIS HAS BEEN OUTLAWED HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH ITS EFFECTS ON THE MIND AND BODY..


Pot is NOT harmful to the human body or mind.


WORLD HUNGER COULD END. A large variety of food products can be generated from hemp. The seeds contain one of the highest sources of protein in nature. ALSO: They have two essential fatty acids that clean your body of cholesterol. These essential fatty acids are not found anywhere else in nature! Consuming pot seeds is the best thing you could do for your body. Eat uncooked hemp seeds.








In the 1930s, innovations in farm machinery would have caused an industrial revolution when applied to hemp. This single resource could have created millions of new jobs generating thousands of quality products. Hemp, if not made illegal, would have brought America out of the Great Depression. Our generation is overdue for another depression, we can't wait, the government agendas aren't benefiting the people..

It's just been declared that the next generation will have to pay for the war in Iraq.. Can that be justified?

The founding fathers would shit themselfs..   


We're getting fucked..

Henry Ford's first Model-T was built to run on hemp gasoline and the CAR ITSELF WAS CONTRUCTED FROM HEMP! On his large estate, Ford was photographed among his hemp fields. The car, 'grown from the soil,' had hemp plastic panels whose impact strength was 10 times stronger than steel; Popular Mechanics, 1941. Look it up.. Hemp car



Today, our planet is in desperate trouble. Earth is suffocating as large tracts of rain forests disappear. Pollution, poisons and chemicals are killing people. These great problems could be reversed if we industrialized hemp. Natural biomass could provide all of the planet's energy needs that are currently supplied by fossil fuels. We have consumed 80% of our oil and gas reserves. We need a renewable resource. Hemp could be the solution to soaring gas prices.




Marijuana does NOT pose a threat to the general public.

Marijuana is very much a danger to the oil companies, alcohol, tobacco industries and a large number of chemical corporations.

Various big businesses, with plenty of dollars and influence, have suppressed the truth from the people.

The truth is if marijuana was utilized for its vast array of commercial products, it would create an industrial atomic bomb!

* All schoolbooks were made from hemp or flax paper until the 1880s; Hemp Paper Reconsidered, Jack Frazier, 1974.



* It was LEGAL TO PAY TAXES WITH HEMP in America from 1631 until the early 1800s; LA Times, Aug. 12, 1981.

* REFUSING TO GROW HEMP in America during the 17th and 18th Centuries WAS AGAINST THE LAW! You could be jailed in Virginia for refusing to grow hemp from 1763 to 1769; Hemp in Colonial Virginia, G. M. Herdon.

"I grew Hemp", George Washington

* George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and other founding fathers GREW HEMP; Washington and Jefferson Diaries. Jefferson smuggled hemp seeds from China to France then to America.

* Benjamin Franklin owned one of the first paper mills in America and it processed hemp. Also, the War of 1812 was fought over hemp. Napoleon wanted to cut off Moscow's export to England; Emperor Wears No Clothes, Jack Herer. Drug wars have been around for ages.

* For thousands of years, 90% of all ships' sails and rope were made from hemp. The word 'canvas' is Dutch for cannabis; Webster's New World Dictionary.

* 80% of all textiles, fabrics, clothes, linen, drapes, bed sheets, etc. were made from hemp until the 1820s with the introduction of the cotton gin.


* The first Bibles, maps, charts, Betsy Ross's flag, the first drafts of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were made from hemp; U.S. Government Archives.

* The first crop grown in many states was hemp. 1850 was a peak year for Kentucky producing 40,000 tons. Hemp was the largest cash crop until the 20th Century; State Archives.

* Oldest known records of hemp farming go back 5000 years in China, although hemp industrialization probably goes back to ancient Egypt.

* Rembrants, Gainsboroughs, Van Goghs as well as most early canvas paintings were principally painted on hemp linen.

* In 1916, the U.S. Government predicted that by the 1940s all paper would come from hemp and that no more trees need to be cut down. Government studies report that 1 acre of hemp equals 4.1 acres of trees. Plans were in the works to implement such programs; Department of Agriculture

* Quality paints and varnishes were made from hemp seed oil until 1937. 58,000 tons of hemp seeds were used in America for paint products in 1935; Sherman Williams Paint Co. testimony before Congress against the 1937 Marijuana Tax Act.



* Hemp called 'Billion Dollar Crop.' It was the first time a cash crop had a business potential to exceed a billion dollars; Popular Mechanics, Feb., 1938.




But through Media Manipulation..

Examine the following quotes from 'The Burning Question' aka REEFER MADNESS:

   

      A violent narcotic.
   

      Acts of shocking violence.
   

      Incurable insanity.
   

      Soul-destroying effects.
   

      Under the influence of the drug he killed his entire family with an ax.
   

      More vicious, more deadly even than these soul-destroying drugs (heroin, cocaine) is the menace of marihuana!

Reefer Madness did not end with the usual 'the end.'

The film concluded with these words plastered on the screen:

"TELL YOUR CHILDREN." 

C'mon honestly we're a well aware community, and we can obviously determine that we were manipulated as a country ages ago to believe Marijuana is bad..

We aren't puppets anymore

This is a different time..
Yet we've failed again..

To stand up for our beliefs
You have a voice, let it echo

This is our time to choose the outcomes of futures
Speak now or forever hold your peace
We can't continue to bestow our trust into the corrupt organ grinder
Who smiles only to distract you from the steaming turd it's left waiting for you



And he's left a nice one






This isn't a cause in which we have no ammunition to fight with
This is a cause that has the beneficial outcome of success

A victory for integrity

but..



The brainwashing continues. Now, the commercials say: If you buy a joint, you contribute to murders and gang wars. The latest anti-pot commercials say: If you buy a joint...you are promoting TERRORISM! The new enemy (terrorism) has paved the road to brainwash you any way THEY see fit.



Let's take the market away from the Gansters


I will end this an interview from a true advovate..

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2814499318201798612&q=legalize+trees&total=279&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2


Educate yourselfs
Do your research
Knowledge is power

I need.... someone, even just a good friend =}

OOOO and a party, anyone? I need a guy who will take me the way I am, and not expect me to change, as I wouldn't expect them too. I'm looking for someone who is willing to give me the whole truth, as that is what I offer.

I'm not perfect, and chances are, neither are you. I have crabby parents, fucked up hair, I'm not rich, you cant see my ribs, I dont have doubles E's (mia! hehe) I have my flaws, so do you, deal with it. I need someone who will take me like that, with my morning "makup smeared all over the face", and with my son who takes up most of my time, and someone who wont piss and moan when he cries, because thats what babies do.... obviously

And I need someone who I can be friends with, because love is nothing without friendship, really.

Soooo with that being said, you, yes YOU, need to message me, and just talk, because I could def. use some cheering up betches ^_^

oooo and another note, I have my last surgery 2morrow WOOT, but I'm not looking forward to staying yet another night @ a hospitol alone, but hey, I'll be too morphined out to be bothered by it

So send those messages, or dial my number, I'm probably here, I have nowhere else to be! haha

Arrrr, I'm bored and I beleive I have blogging too much lately, more than any self respecting person should, aha....yeah but anyways, I'm making alternative style clothing now. So if u want, desing me some stuff, I might use it ;) Right now I only have that gothish prom dress w/corset top I made a while ago, and an "ok" skirt I just make, oh say, 20 minutes ago. So I'm gonna be steady at work on making more and getting them sold. I actually think pants are the only thing I haven't made yet, so maybe that'll be my next project. I was supposed to open up shop about a year ago but never did. So I'll see if I can get a partner and do something with it. =D

confuzzled = confused

you + not knowing that= nard =D

I dont happen to know my mood right now. This is another fucking random blog, I thought I woulda got these out of my system....hmmmm

I feel love and hatred at the same time. How do you know if you love someone? ....how....please elaborate, for me =?

"we are the TRUE BELEIVERS" errr....

I am sad, yeah, I want January of '07 back. I wanna do things differently, i want it BACK. But it will never return, and neither will the life I wanted

*OPEN CALL* Scientist. Must be able to make a time machine a little to no cost, that works.... =(

I just read all my old blogs, god I WAS happy....happieness wont come to me now.

Everyone has moved on....and I'm still here

"Night brings bad dreams"----"off with their head!"----"BEHEADED!"

~Where Oh where has the creativity gone, the luster for the dreams and ideas without the persistance to seek them. Now the persistance has returned and no ideas will come. The colors have faded to grey and the materials have all melted into a otherworldly pool. To use my mind without the resources produces nothing. Nothing but visions locked away in a mind no one can interact with, until they grow firm and steady in their ways, firm enough to never slip out. To make no sense makes perfect sense. It is to speak in riddle to tell the world, while tell no one. To tell all your secrets and have them remain. The thoughts florish behind the walls of the hidden inside, bound by the voice who will not speak them, keeping them a secret from those who you truely love. No one will know, no one will speak, words wont form and everything is still fucking grey.~

 

 

hmmmm

 

lay awake, I dont give a shit, if I ever even wake up in the morning....no brakes

Genocide? hmmm...I miss you, dearly....

 

Darcith....I found the duck, no worries, he's in good hands, haha! luff u!

 

byeness

 

 

Yeah, so originally the baby's name was gonna be Jaden Evan. I never really like "evan", and we got that name from a hemopheliac (spelling?) baby off of family guy, hehe.... so when we were first thinking of names, Josh REALLY wanted the baby to be Jaden Joshua. And I didn't like it, cuz I didn't want the baby to be named after one of us.... BUUUUUT, the more I think about the name, the more I like it, soooo, we have changed his name to Jaden Joshua. Well, he isn't born yet, but soon! Very soon! lol.. and btw, my due date is 2morrow.

Here's a run down.

Josh and my mom will be in te room with me durring delivery. But anyone can come in and see me durring "active" labor, so for those of you who wanna watch me squirm durring my epidural, feel free, hehe.... I have it set to where I allow cameras, but no "video" cameras (or cellphone video)..... dont want that shit! lol. Also, I have it set so there shouldn't be a damn mirror to where I can see anything, so If there is, anyone, feel free to move that damn thing!

When we come home, we can't have everyone come over at once, not just yet at least. We want the first day or so with no interuptions, and just some "peace" and alone time with the baby. Then we will invite everyone to come see the baby and such.

We hope everything goes according to plan (although things like this never do....errr =/  ) So Let's just hope for the best. So, I have a cold right now, and and earache and shit, so I don't want the baby to come right this very second, because I can't be around a newborn with the flu.... and I HATE the fact that I'm having a child in the flu season.... damn! anyways, when we invite people over, it will probably be immediate family first of course (mine and josh's family), then the other family, then friends, and so on.... Josh has decided he wants the baby christened. So Maria will be the godmother, but we don't know when we are doing that yet, I'll let everyone know. I'm also not sure where that will be exactly, but we'll get everything set up eventually. Anyways, I've been hoping my damn water will break, cuz if it does, I have to go immediatly to the hospitol for GBS, so.... I'm just hopeing! lol.... well, I'm going to go walk around my house and hope that damn thing breaks! lol.... cya!