for jewmas i goooot;
some baller ass coat with 500 pockets in it (for stashing drugs)
some themed lamps from my sister
a basket of random japanese candy from my sister
a hipster irony shirt from jose "WHERE THE WILD PARTIES AT"
some underwear and a shirt from mom
200 bux from myself
another day where i didn't jump into traffic



yeah
christmas is a win
i got a coat (hell yeah)

[19:35] dav936: sup hotty
[19:35] mivzi: hahahaha just got off owrk
[19:36] dav936: cool u single babe
[19:37] mivzi: yeah i am
[19:38] dav936: wanna go out
[19:38] mivzi: uhhhhhh
[19:38] mivzi: youre a random myspace guy
[19:38] mivzi: and your profile says you're in illinois
[19:38] dav936: ok but we can talk where u live
[19:39] mivzi: nowhere even remotely close to illinois
[19:39] mivzi: i'm in the dirty south
[19:40] dav936: ok can we go out please
[19:40] mivzi: .....you're in ILLINOIS
[19:40] mivzi: if you want to drive all the way down here and figure out where i live then sure i guess
[19:40] dav936: pretty please
[19:40] mivzi: how do you even plan on "going out" when you physically cannot GO anywhere with me
[19:41] dav936: idk do u get on myspace every day?
[19:41] mivzi: no hahahaha
[19:41] mivzi: i check it once in a while
[19:42] dav936: ok so wht can we be?
[19:42] mivzi: you're a friend on myspace
[19:42] mivzi: that should be good enough
[19:43] dav936: but y? wht if u asked me out than wht
[19:43] mivzi: i'm not going to
[19:43] mivzi: why would i do that?
[19:43] mivzi: i don't even know you
[19:44] dav936: ok wht music u like
[19:44] mivzi: radiohead
[19:44] dav936: wht tht
[19:44] mivzi: it's music
[19:44] mivzi: you just asked me what music i like
[19:44] dav936: ok
[19:45] dav936: i like rap mental not alot
[19:45] mivzi: i'm sure you do, that's very educated music right there.
[19:45] mivzi: the epitome of grandeur and sophistication
[19:46] dav936: ok can i flirit wht u


..... what a piece of work.
this guy is clearly valedictorian at hogwart's school of witchcraft and woifjsdkljdssssssssssssssssssssssklf
...but anyway....


[19:46] dav936: ok um u like wreastling babe
[19:47] mivzi: no not really
[19:47] dav936: ok um can u flirit wht me
[19:49] dav936: how big r ur boobs?
[19:49] mivzi: nonexistant
[19:49] dav936: huh
[19:49] mivzi: i lost them in a fight with a meat cleaver
[19:49] mivzi: it was pretty gory
[19:49] dav936: cool
[19:50] mivzi: yeah i'm rather disfigured now so it's pretty flattering that you're so bent out of shape over my turning you down
[19:50] mivzi: ever since the accident at jersey mike's with the meat cleaver nobody even wants to be around me
[19:51] dav936: i would babe
[19:51] mivzi: yeah i'm sure you chase after stray cats
[19:51] dav936: do u
[19:52] mivzi: doesn't everyone?
[19:52] mivzi: they're so graceful
[19:52] mivzi: it takes most of my self control not to devour them at sight


hahahhahaha


[19:52] dav936: ok do u think im ungly?
[19:52] dav936: cool
[19:52] mivzi: i have no idea what you look like
[19:53] dav936: check my pic out sweetthang
[19:53] mivzi: you look kind of inbred
[19:54] dav936: ?
[19:54] mivzi: do you drink moonshine
[19:54] mivzi: and play banjo
[19:54] dav936: no
[19:54] mivzi: skippin' around in nothin' but overalls and a straw hat
[19:54] dav936: no
[19:54] mivzi: oh wait of course not
[19:54] mivzi: you live in illinois that's right

........... this is too much

[19:55] dav936: ya sexy y do u care if i flirit wht u
[19:55] mivzi: because, like i said, after that accident at jersey mike's
[19:55] mivzi: not only am i banned from jersey mike's indefinitely
[19:55] dav936: ok
[19:55] mivzi: but i am horribly disfigured and have not felt the touch of another
[19:55] mivzi: it's a sad story.
[19:55] dav936: oh my bad
[19:56] mivzi: yeah i have these huge sores all over my chest area where my lovely breasts once were
[19:56] mivzi: they're massive boils and they leak a very thick fluid now and then
[19:56] dav936: tht hurt
[19:56] mivzi: it's similar to gravy
[19:57] mivzi: it hurt at first, but you get used to the stinging after a while.
[19:57] mivzi: it's more of the emotional pain that gets me.
[19:57] mivzi: after the accident my husband left me, he didn't even give me a proper breakup
[19:57] mivzi: he just sent me a text saying "i got back together with my ex"
[19:57] mivzi: later he posted in a bulletin that it was too unbearable to look at me
[19:57] dav936: wht happen if we had sex
[19:57] dav936: ok
[19:57] mivzi: well uhhh
[19:58] mivzi: you would probably get covered in my boil discharge
[19:58] mivzi: which would probably make you throw up
[19:58] mivzi: and the sight of your vomit would probably make me throw up
[19:58] mivzi: so it would be a terrible mess
[19:58] dav936: ok i wount not
[19:58] mivzi: you wouldn't vomit on me?
[19:58] dav936: ur so hot i mite pass out
[19:59] dav936: no
[19:59] mivzi: hahahaha


after that he confessed that, even though i'm horribly disfigured and banned from a sub shop...... he still loves me.

[20:00] dav936: can i be ur future bf
[20:00] mivzi: i don't even know how to answer that
[20:01] dav936: please

every druggie person i know is so holier-than-thou

i don't mean those people that smoke a blunt on the weekends to pass the time
but you know those people who are always behind on their work, always out of work, always needing a favor, always needing more time, that whole mess?

those kids are the ones that are so smug and have it all figured out

i mean that's straight and all that they're happy with themselves
i can hardly call that a life (one where you need some kind of opiate in order to feel "alright") let alone one worth bragging about, but if they're alright with that then that's all good.

but when someone who's probably never gonna get anywhere in life past entry-level positions or get something higher than an associates of arts at the community college is critical of other people's lives?

come ON buddy really now what are you even talking about

every time i see some crackhead going on a soapbox rant about how everyone else is going about things wrong, i laugh a little to myself

you might have things all figured out
but when you're still living at mom's when everyone else is building a picket fence
or when you're sleeping with some guy that beats you just so you can be in a house with heat and light, panhandling for beer change when you're not taking care of your bastard children that CPS keeps trying to take away but you're doing your damndest to hang onto because they help you get more government aid

you won't be so high and mighty!

anyway yeah i'm eighteen now
i bought a bag of dildos and other stupid shit like that and then gave most of it away
appletini cigars are not as good as they sound
i got my license and all that good stuff which is fucking brilliant
now i just need to finish up my car situation
and in 47 days i'll be able to dip set with no strings attached

what is fun though is my popularity in the past three days!
people i haven't spoken to in months have began talking to me again asking to chill and do whatever
(i think i may understand why!)

anyway i'm still on the brink of killing myself and everyone around me
so let's just try and keep things to a minimum until i get the hell out of here
in the meantime if anyone wants to go down to hookah joes just text me i'm up for whatever


on an unrelated note

my school and peers think i'm being abused
since i'm always hungry and complaining about my nutty family and their diligence and integrity
one of my teachers literally called me out of class and tried to give me money so i could go get something to eat since i was bitching about not being able to afford lunch
and a close friend of mine keeps inviting me to stay over there because ever since my dad had his most recent episode, he doesn't think i'm safe at home. haha!

jesus christ what am i going to do with myself

i wake up with the intentions of just laying in bed all day, this is my first day off from everything/anything in a while and i planned on basking in it.

my dad wanted me to go to the store though, so, to the store.

on the way back we got into a catty argument because he was lecturing me about whatever and i told him he didn't need to be lecturing me
(something along the lines of: you don't need to buy a car you don't even have a license you're just getting into trouble, "i know, dad. you don't have to tell me.")

that comment i made caused a downward spiral which results in reckless driving over medians and onto curbs and dad tripping out, throwing shit here and there, eventually with him leaving on his motorcycle.
he comes back about 25 min later, and continues with the yelling and throwing shit and the cursing and the pissing and moaning.

so, i go out for a walk.
he calls me a few times demanding i return. "when i'm finished with my walk"
i needed a cigarette! so i went to have one!

i come home and he's sprawled out on the living room floor
i step over him and go to my room, texting erin and adam
"dad's laid out on the floor, should i call the cops or something"
ever initiative, i go back into the living room and prod him with my foot.
he's fine, just playing dead to get attention.

so i go back to my room and watch cnn for a bit.

spoiler: this is a bitchy venting rant

i really fucking hate november-february. regardless of any good things that happen in these months i just cannot bear to wait until spring gets here.

especially december.

every holiday in the november-february bracket fuckin sucks.
you can include halloween in that.

thanksgiving sucks
christmas sucks
new years sucks
valentines sucks

the holiday season just blows!
it really does.
it's year after year of disappointing holiday seasons that could just be avoided altogether if we didn't invest so much time and effort into hallmark cards and feelgood old navy commercials but no matter how hard a nigga tries you cannot escape and end up getting caught up in the asinine rush of merrymaking and picking out the perfect gift for little cindy-lou who just to wind up christmas day either cooped up alone or awkwardly wedged somewhere like a circle peg trying to fit in a square hole

i try to escape it one way or another every year (usually by high-tailing to somewhere else) but you can't run away from time no matter how fast you go.
no matter if i'm with my family (contemplating suicide every day) or with erin's (who's family is contemplating suicide every day i am there), the holiday season still sucks.

even if i try to be as optimistic as possible, whatever diety is reigning over finds some sadistic way to fuck it up.

i think i'm gonna find some kind of show that's going on during the holidays so i have a reason to be out

christmas and my birthday are my two least favourite days of the year no matter how much i try to deny it and downplay it
and i dread every day that passes that brings me closer to december first

so my civic went through the ~dan~ today
and he basically tore it apart to find what all was wrong with it

-burns oil
-rotors
-throttle
-~mystery engine~
-steering column too tight

he said there might be something else wrong with it but for the most part it runs great for a car it's age, the clutch is great, timing belts etc. are in good order, the only real downside is the fact that it burns oil and it takes the force of ten men to turn the wheel on a sharp left.

i think what i'm gonna do is i'm just gonna pull up to the grocery store when all the rednecks are hanging out after class in the parking lot and be like
"hey guys my car is busted what's wrong with it!!" and they will fix it

i mentioned to a friend of mine that it needed new rotors and he volunteered* to fix it for me and look around to see what else needs work

but for the most part it's in great shape
especially considering i can get most/all of the repairs done for just the cost of the parts. sounds like a good deal to me vv

edit:
i forgot to mention
IF THERE ARE ANY ENGINE PROBLEMS
i am not buying it
cause then the cost is more than the value of the car
and fuck that noise


*i volunteered him

MY BBY<333333

hopefully monday we'll be switching the title over
to
MISS VICTORIA NAPKY

i haven't posted a blog in a week and i still have pageviews every day
this makes me a little uncomfortable!

anyway
continuing on my car hunt
i was looking at a 94 eclipse (turbo haha) but decided against it since the timing belt was busted. not a very expensive fix, but since it was BUSTED that would require it being towed.
from a city like an hour and a half away D: fuck that shit

so i was shoppin' around and now i'm looking at a camry
it's older than i am and has a lot of miles, but toyotas last forever and a day so i'm not really concerned about it
the only issue is the hood doesn't match the car and there's a minor oil leak, which a friend volunteered to fix for me. hells yeah.

hopefully this one will work out, but if it doesn't then ohhhh wellll.

i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, yay
also everyone is giving me the cold shoulder
OH GOD WHAT DID I DO
my break at school is so awkward since everyone is fussing over some drama that i'm unrelated to. i tried to console a friend who was visibly upset by it, but since i have no idea who this girl is or what she did (this chick is apparently in jail and tried to drag down like 5 people with her?) nobody's really listening, haha. oh well. i understand that, though. someone unrelated entirely to whatever issue probably won't be able to empathize.

here's to all y'all niggas ignoring me:
cut that shit out :C
also don't let someone drag you to jail with them

i pick winners, i really do.
adam and i were talking about it earlier, and came to a conclusion.

i go for interesting people, and that's mostly my main "want" out of a person. be interesting, i hate boring people.
interesting people always be fuckin' around, though!

like damn, i think i'm the only person i know that hasn't outright cheated on a significant other
[that applies only to people that have been in multiple serious relationships, i can name dozens of people that haven't fucked around but most of them have only been in one relationship lasting over like 8 months]

so, i talked to some friends of mine who are notorious cheaters!
and most of them admitted it
damnyull goes so far as to say, "you're who i wanted to be"

but it's straight i still have time to mess up my clean record i guess, hah.

out of this little conversation i did get this cute little tidbit from adam, though
[22:38] adam: vicki you're amazing
[22:38] lionforsale: whys that
[22:39] adam: you're gorgeous
[22:39] adam: hilarious
[22:39] adam: interesting
[22:39] adam: smart
[22:39] lionforsale: oh you arent being facetious
[22:39] lionforsale: i thought that was like
[22:39] lionforsale: the beginning of a joke hahah
[22:39] adam: im not trying to being funny im dead serious
[22:39] adam: you're a really great girl, err person in general
[22:39] adam: just cause alot of dudes cheated on you
[22:39] adam: doesnt mean its you
[22:39] adam: thats them
[22:40] adam: im serious

d'aww :3 how t'weeet

but, yeah, i guess i could blame it on the age group of the guys i generally date
except that most of them aren't young rambunctious teenagers.
it's kind of expected for a 16 year old dude to be like "fuck fuckfuck i need some ass"
but not so much of a--
wait nevermind, it still applies! hah!

well that answers a lot.

no but really
i'm too young to be trying to get into a lengthy relationship anyway
and if anything proves it, it's that.


sorry that there's no actual content to this blog i'm just kind of putting my thoughts down.

the beginning of the day was pretty bland i had to wait around until 4 to get my hair cut
so i worked on my lolita crown that i will probably never finish because i'm so fucking lazy

come 4 i go get my hair did and reed shows up to keep me company,
i cut off a shitload of hair. i went to a "real" hairdresser instead of the $.99 ones at walmart/supercuts/etc and it was worth it. i'm gonna go back in in a week or so to trim it some more, she knew i was anxious about cutting off some odd 8 inches of hair so she was like, "we'll do this in stages, okay? i'll cut it about 3" long, and if you still want it shorter you can come back."

everyone liked the haircut :3~
i look really young, though, but it's straight.


after that reed and i needed some time to blow before heading out to a party so we hit up goodwill and salvation army, don't find any loot, so we go to walmart and jacked one of those awesome zombie bandanas that they were selling and i buy some makeup for a calavera schoolgirl costume that i never put together; i ended up going dressed up as myself with the addition of tinted lip gloss and a hair clip.

sit around a bit, get invited to a bunch of parties, promise to stop by, end up going to gardner's around 7 or 8.


first of all: the only person i knew from gardner's party was gardner. who was dressed up as a 1920's mobster girl. wig, fake boobs, shaved legs, stilettos, fishnets and all. completely unrecognizable.

so it was like walking into a house of RANDOM ASS NIGGAS.

luckily nobody knew each other either so when i was like AIGHT NAMES PLEASE it wasn't awkward, i ended up making friends with just about everyone.

i'd write out a party roster but i got drunk and only remember like 5 names out of a couple dozen and i don't want to leave anyone out.

anyway, open the fridge to jack a vanilla coke and i find

(pictured: every flavor of jello shot ever)

and 2 more cases on the floor waiting to be loaded in, in the freezer there's watermelon vodka, regular vodka, peach scnhapps, a couple bottles of nasty lookin shit i didn't touch, and as more people showed up the drinks increased

i did a 1-on-1 shot with everyone there, then we all did so many jello shots and
next thing i know i'm pretty drunk.

ultimately it was a drama-free party and that's all that anyone wants to hear about so i'm gonna wrap this up

it was pretty awesome and everyone made some friends since nobody really knew each other. it began as "vague acquaintance" and ended with "good pal"

the most funny shit was this nigga rollin up in a spiderman costume and trying to smoov talk me and i'm like
HOW OLD ARE YOU GUY I DON'T KNOW YOU
and this guy is literally twice my age
^ that was funny ^
but only to me :<

there's an odd feeling when you feel that you've been rectified for an almost forgotten crime long past


this odd feeling will probably not be leaving me anytime soon!

school;
 -8-9 weeks to go until graduation
 -been filling out scholarships, no return on any yet

car;
 -myspace friend is willing to sell 95 intrepid, currently awaiting further detail
 -considering asking to buy jose's car since he'll probably never use it again since he'll be loaded when he gets back from korea
 
job;
 -got a job at starbucks
 -waiting on callback from black forest

housing;
 -500$/mo @ clarion [util. incl]
 -350$/mo @ haymount apts
 -two people interested in rooming w/me; both are kind of up in the air at the moment though


so far, so good. i still need to get some shit together but i guess things are getting better.
my dad's gone back to cursing yelling and throwing shit again but whatever i'm only here until january anyway

so i talked to my mom today and she basically laid it out to me that my family is offering me 0$ support in anything once i turn eighteen, giving me 38 days to live it up before i get the boot.

do you guys have a college fund or anything like that set up?
no

you said when i got my license you'd buy me a car, is that happening?
no

what about when i move to raleigh for school, are you helping me with my apartment?
no

bills, food, et cetera?
no


well gee thanks, guys.

if i had known this was going to be the case i would have dropped out when i turned 16 like i wanted to and gotten a job so at least by now i could be assistant manager at wendy's or whatever. at least i could have established myself as a prominent stripper in the community.

i threw some numbers together and estimated the next two years will cost me around 80 grand. tuition is 50k, living costs estimated around a grand a month, 5 grand or so for a car, and then some extra in case something goes terribly wrong and i need money.

fucking fabulous, i stop doing/selling drugs, stay in school, raise my gpa back to a 4.0, quit getting into trouble because of all these promises of grandeur and reward... and then they tell me that i'm getting thrown to the wolves. why's a nigga gonna tell me to pick out a 'prestigious' college and dream up some big high life career and then clue me in at the last fucking minute that it's all some elaborate hoax.

what a fucking load of shit.
i would say "maybe it's some funny scheme where it turns out my family is actually pretty loaded and then when i graduate they give me all my tuition money tucked neatly in a briefcase that's sitting in the passenger seat of a new car with a hilarious red bow on it" but if that were the case then jose probably wouldn't have had to drop out of college and idk what the fuck is up with laura but it probably wouldn't be the case.


uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhh what horrible parenting
anyway i was gonna bitch some more but i think i'm gonna go have a cigarette

man y'all i'm pretty frustrated

i'm sittin' at the bar with the guys
and as always i'm the only one buying anything
(it's kind of a requirement to buy SOMETHING cause you cant just loiter in a bar, especially when you're not 21, so i usually buy a tray of fries and share with everyone)
i get some appetizers (like 6-7 bucks total idk)

and im sitting here texting panda waiting for our snacks to arrive
and idk what the fuck happened
but the guys im with pour like a pint or two of ice water all over me
and i'm like

D:< WHAT THE FUCK
so i dip so i can change and i'm like textin dem
"cover the tab i'll pay you back tomorrow its less than ten bucks"

and they're going on
and on and on and on
about this and that, i'm not sure i didn't really read any of it i just handed it to reed cause whatever

i know these niggas ain't broke tho cause they're sitting there drinking b33rz and shit which costs MONEY but they're insisting that they can't afford this shit

man i did not even get to eat any of that goddamn food cause it got there as soon as i was like "fuck this i'm out" since DAMN NIGGA i am drenched and it's like 50 degrees out
>:T


moral of the story:
do not become the person that's always buying food when you go out
cause if you ask someone to cover the tab, even with retribution, they will have a baby fit


even if they poured water all over yo' ass when you were sittin' there textin

update:
i hadn't checked any of the conversation between reed and the guys at the bar because i was frustrated, but i just read it, and it's about 30 texts back and forth of things along this line
reed: you need to chill out it's not a big deal, it's like 6 bucks
them: "well if you didn't let that bitch drag you around by your dick all day"
it goes on a bit like that.....
scott and ryan have some colorful terminology for me, good lord.

jesus christ, guys. it's hilarious how ryan's texts [to me] go from talking about how he hates scott and reed so much because they're the most boring cocks ever and how we should move way and find new friends, to talking about how i'm this and that.

haha and i haven't even checked the voicemails they left me