Missing

I always think I'll be

the exception to everything

things like life and love

will come easily to me

always  crashing with my naivete

never prepared for this sort of thing

then i fall, i fall, i fall, i fall

cause not trusting is different from knowing what to trust

if childhood gots its way there'd be nothing left of us

and noone tells us how much happiness hurts

cause then we learn what we're missing

then i fall, fall, fall

then i fall, fall, fall inside

then i fall,  fall i run and hide

i fall fall you're left behind

Things I never saw before  (part of lyrics)

Things I never saw before, things I never heard before,

I hear them I hear them now

and the sun never shone so bright and the clouds never felt so light

I'm standing on one now

walls aren't just wall to me, I stare at them so i can dream and i'm

always sleeping now

boredom is good for me, I'm losing function as you can see and

its going quickly now

and the things i never saw before

and the songs i never heard before

i hear them now

Hello,

I found a site that has my music video from a few years ago posted, so I thought I would share it...I have good memories from making the video. Music Video Link.

So I am trying to learn some French from the Rosetta Stone program, so I searched for an old computer microphone the other day and I found one and set i up.  So...I started writing a new song today and didn't want to forget it, so I recorded myself writing it...The recording I just put on the myspace page is probably my third or fourth time working on parts of this song....it kind of a simple folk-song.  I just felt like throwing it on my page...I don't know why I get hit by the songwriting bug at the worst times...like when I should be sleeping.......but its live and not edited at all.......called Holding Up.

I just noticed that myspace allows for 6 songs to be uploaded...so I uploaded a few more songs from my album "In Your Doorway," along with Spanish Versions of two songs.

On another note, I'm in new band called "A Year Remains."  Our Myspace link is http://www.myspace.com/ayearremains .  We have our first real show on February 22nd at the Undergound in Roseville.   The songs on our page are really, really rough...but its something at least for now.

I felt a lot of angst about turning 25 yesterday.  I guess it was because I was mourning the loss of 24.  Now that I am 25, plus one day, I'm super excitied.  I have 364 days to make this the best year ever! Of course, with each day that goes by, my excitement will dim until I am once again mourning - but this time, I'll be mourning being 25.  I'll just try to be excited about being 25 plus one day. 

What else.....In 19 days, I hear if I was accepted into the grad school of my choice....hopefully.

I am in a band now.  We are called "A Year Remains."  We should have a myspace page up in the next two to three months I'd imagine. 

So i hear from a lot of people that music is "who i am" and that i need to continue it in some way..even though i have moved from LA and am not trying for a career anymore..sometimes i get frustrated because i'm not sure why i hear that, is it because people would like me better if i still played music? or are people just saying it like it is..of course, i am trying to keep music in my life, but i just haven't found the right way or it has not been the right time to get back into it...so what does a confused person do who may or may not be an artist but is trying not to be for some reason do when they feel like this? ...well, they write a song, not only because that is an ironic thing to do, but because apparently thats what happens when my brain needs to get rid of thoughts..maybe i have not been thinking much for the last 6 months...

Do You Like Me Now

Do you like me now, standing before you now, with my old guitar?

Do you like me now, standing before you now, singing you a song?

I just needed to know, you would still be here, if I was all there was

just a smile to give and waiting for you to come home

So do you like me now?

So do you like me now?

So do you like me now?

So do you like me now?

Everyones been telling me I dont know who I am?

Are they all wrong or is there something for me to understand?

Too many nights with half a dream and an empty hand

thought that all I could do was come on back

do you like me now, standing before you now, with my old guitar?

where i can be, your fantasy, your little rockstar?

but did you like me before?

but did you like me before?

but did you like me before?

(to be continued...)