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Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 22
Sign: Aries

City: Zephyrhills
State: Florida
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/27/2005

Blog Archive
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007 

Current mood:  depressed
This darkness creeps all around me
This pain i feel..
The emptiness feels so real..
What am i suppouse to be..
If i dont feel like im his..
I want him to look at me the way
the way he used to..
Hold me like he wants me
Kiss me like he wants to
Its collapsing on me way to fast.
These feelings..
The parinord are always lost.
The times we used to spend
are now away from one another
though we're there its like
we're not.
I love him with all my heart
I wish he'd show it more..
let me know everything is ok.
Let me know..
He's still mine.
Let me know whats going on..
That our love is still there..
Everything else in my life dosnt matter.
Only he does..
why cant i feel like im all that matters to him..
he dosnt show it
or im just blind.
Im scared hes pushing me away..
All i want is him to tell me he loves me first
with out me saying it though i say it every min
because every min of my day he's on my mind
dispite what others may say or believe
Its him and only him i love with all my heart
I would die for him
Kill for him..
I am jelouse when it comes
to other women talking to him
anyone but my friends..they know he's mine
but others have like him and i know this.
Others i want to kill for even speaking to him
they are not worthy
They are nothing but specks of scum on
a dogs shit they are lower that that even
I dont..know how to stop thinking like this..
like he dosnt love me when i know he does.
But sometimes ..its hard not to think
this way when he acts like he dosnt love me
though theres those days
where i dont want it to end
where he acts like im the only thing
thats imporatant  to him.

Saturday, March 04, 2006 

Current mood:  giddy
Ninja girl
You are a Ninja.
You are like a samurai gone bad. The good side

is no longer interesting you and feel that

darkness is where you belong. Though you may

think you are the evil one, you're not.

Because deep inside there is still that

little glimpse of who you once were. You

don't like to associate with people that much

and keep away. In your mind they are ignorant

and not so interesting anyway. That means you

are a lonley person who don't trust people,

and you have really no desire to do so

either. Life is a big pain and annoyance for

you and you aren't quite sure on how to

handle it. Other people see you as mysterious

and secretive, and that is probably right.

Main weapon: Daggers and throwing

stars
Quote: "I hate people. People make

me pro-nuclear" -Margaret Smith
Facial expression: Frown

Revenge killer
You kill for revenge.
That is because you have lost something or

someone you held very dear. Now you can't

seem to get over the loss that marked your

soul, and the only solution is to go after

the one person who brought all this pain to

you. Chances are you are angry inside and you

bottle everything up and don't talk to anyone

about it. People may want to help, but you

think that they can never understand your

pain and only get frustrated because of this.

But it is important to see all that you have

left and be thankful of that even if you have

lost something great. It may not be true that

Times heals all wounds, but with time and

talking about your feelings, maybe the hurt

will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to

reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw

J. Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and

teary eyes


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

warrior angel
You have feather wings. You are pretty easy going

and love people. Your friends always come to

you first when they need help or someone to

hang with. Cool.


What kind of wings would you have? (Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, February 18, 2006 

Current mood:  cheerful
HASH(0x8cb88c0)
Evil person,a goth.Like to hurt ppl and laughs at

other ppl misery or hoplesness. Does not like

to be with a large amount of ppl,like to be

alone.most evil person you can get on this

quiz.


what dark anime girl are you (girlz only..and darker ppl)
brought to you by Quizilla
 
Image hosted by Photobucket.com



Image hosted by Photobucket.com







gothic girl
How Dark Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla
You are very gothic/dark....you are mostly labelled as a goth/emo...you love darkness and often think about death and hate...in your darkness lies a beautiful, lonely soul...Your song is A Gothic Romance by Cradle Of Filth




good: your have just the right amount of wildness
and calmness.

Bad:you have some major mood swings which makes
people very confused about your persoality.


What are good things and bad things about you?
brought to you by Quizilla




HASH(0x8bf4c54)
How evil are you? :cool anime pics

brought to you by Quizilla
ur so evil you could kill every1 in the world even ur family and dont feal a thing








HASH(0x8c11de8)
Where does Your Beauty Hide?   Dark Pictures and Deep Results

brought to you by Quizilla

Your beauty hides in your lonliness.
You're isolated from everyone. You don't want anyone to be near you. Did someone do something so inhumane that you won't go back? What ever the matter was, it has pushed you into your own world and you won't let anyone in nor anyone near you. I doubt you even liked being touched.

Your Quote:
'Lonliness... it's just a disease.'

Your Song:
Bother - Stone Sour

Lyrics:
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit




April

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to
regret.Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's
problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous.
Loving and caring. Suave and generous.
Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory.
Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness
usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way
that only their luver can see.


What Does You Birth Month Reveal About You?
brought to you by Quizilla








HASH(0x8d9bd80)
::.What feeling are you trying to hide?.:: (awesome pictures!)

brought to you by Quizilla
For some reason you think that feeling nothing at all is better than feeling anything. You've locked away your feelings and emotions, probably from fear of getting hurt. Everything in life feels surreal and out of place to you, including the people in it. It's like watching a movie, only the movie is your life.




HASH(0x8ebc080)
What kind of Nightmare would you be if you were one?(anime pics,detailed results.Guys&girls!!)

brought to you by Quizilla
Your a haunting nightmare.You repeat the same thing everytime,never changing,trying to get your message across to the dreamer.









"Join Me In Death"

Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death

We are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we're considering
escape from this world

and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
we're so anxious to be together
together in death

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

This world is a cruel place
and we're here only to lose
so before life tears us apart let
death bless me with you

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

this life ain't worth living
this life ain't worth living
this life ain't worth living
this life ain't worth living

Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won't you die
Baby join me in death
Won't you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

Baby join me in death





gal, crying
You are a MISUNDERSTOOD person.
You are always angered easily and prone to

moodswings. Your perspective on Life is in

Black and White, you see the edges of truth

and deceit. You loathe being misjudged by

others. The reason for your violent behavior

could be because you were once a depressed

person, and kept most of your hurt inside.

The hurt that you've locked inside your soul

has come bursting out of you, resulting in

this outcome. You long to end your misery(by

suicide), but you are either too afraid of

death or you are still seeking the reason for

your Existence.

Your traits:
*Hurtful
*Angry
*Suicidal
*Lost
*Kind
*Violent
*Rectopathic

Your color: Black/ Crimson
Your Quote: "Life is just one damned thing

after another."


.oOo. What Are You Really Like Inside?[ Anime pics included.] .oOo.
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 

Current mood:  depressed
Yes im single again. David done and broke up with me again b/c of something that happened with me and another guy when me and david were broken up. Im tired of it all. Just got me some beer and whiskey . Suicide aint worth it so i just take away the pain with liquior. ohwell i dont care anymore. Jonas and i are talking again i told him i should have listened to him i just cant seem to stop crying. It hurts so much cause i do love him but he dont care if he did he wouldnt have promised me so many things and its just not right. i cant talk about it anymore all i need is to forget forget, move or die which ever comes first im sick of being hurt. My wall is going to built  up better and aint ever comein down again for no one not even for david never again. i told him before i couldnt trust him after what he did the first time and now he just proved i can never. thats what hurts the most.http://photobucket.com" target="_blank">http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c256/PassionIsSickLust/pee057.png" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket">
Saturday, January 07, 2006 

Current mood:  lonely
HIM LYRICS

"One Last Time"

Is it so hard to believe our hearts
Are made to be broken by love
That in constant dying lies
The beauty of it all
My darling won't you feel
The sweet heaven in
Our endless cry

Oh at least you could try
For this one last time

So amazed how bright are the flames
We are burning in
Ever smiled at the tragedies
We hold inside
My darling won't you cherish
The fear of life that keeps
You and me so alive

Oh at least you could try
For this one last time
It could be alright
For this one last time

Oh at least you could try
(and we just will be closer)
For this one last time
(let me fall into your arms)
It could be alright
(don't let us grow colder)
For this one last time
(let me close to your heart)

Oh at least you could try
(before it's all over)
For this one last time
(let me fall into your arms)
It could be alright
(before it's all over)
For this one last time
(let me close to your heart)
Saturday, January 07, 2006 

Current mood:  infuriated
 

Just die!!!
Current mood:

With everything thats been going on i relize im a  horrible person. I couldnt keep my b/f who i love with all my heart. I am a bitch i treat people like shit and basicaly made the one person i love not want to be with me. Our relationshipwas good but we had some bad times and admit it was bad. All i want to do is lay in my room cry and be deppressed. no more art work no more writeing no more doing anything with my skills or trying to make something of myself. just bleed to death. I just think about him all the time is that so bad? to miss the person you love and cherish though you treated them badly..? i wish i could take everything back things ive down to make him dispise things about me things ive done to piss him off. All i deserve right now is to be alone. Is this so wrong?i will always love him no matter what he has my heart and i never want it back. even if he dosnt love me anymore i dont want to be with anyone else being friends is alright but i will have to remeber this. i know one thing if we do start over i want to open up to him more not be a bitch i want him to know more about me and i want to know him. god im fucken tired almost 7 am becky should be waking up at 8 or so and im still awake how sad. im pathetic yes indeed. cant keep anything good in my life FUCKEN A!!! Kiss off to those who think im pathetic and stupied i dont care just let me be alone and die already i want to so bad theres nothing here for me. the world is just a waste of time and space we should all have died along time ago  the world is nothing but a waste so stop breathing stop loving there is no such thing of being loved by anyone ur all alone and no one cares you can cry slit your wrists and even the person you love may not notice friends say theyd care but they just say that...i could care less if i died now just walk out in the street and get hit by a car right now. set yourself on fire after pouring gasaline on you and run around screaming in delightful pleasure cause your leaving this worthless place with no one to even know your gone. lmao what the fuck ever bye going to smoke a cig ill complain about shit more. so kiss off
Saturday, January 07, 2006 

Current mood:  sick
Time sits still in this wake of deppression.
Serpents drawn to my flesh to rip me apart.
My heart dripping with blood pumping no more.
Knife to my eyes i tear out my eyes
i wish to bleed and bleed alone consuming all
this darkness and letting it eat away at my soul.
A burning fetus, maggots escaping my lips
gasoline filling my brain this pain is taking over me.
Tainted hands run down my skin , the very skin i hate.
So for this to punish my self..and the uglyness that
rotts on me i snip away at my skin stretching it
till muscles rip and bones are visible
compare me not to those who are more beautiful then me
Im insicure enough. My teeth bite down
tasting the flesh of maggots their juices running down
my lips as well as my throat dying as i torture myself.
I am the darkness the evol you so wish to be.
Pointless it is to wish for one thing...
never to be alone. When really all you ever are
is alone. So take this in and see
as i tear and stretch my flesh holding it above burning flames
can you smell it. I grin swallowing the corpse of each and
ever maggot runnin knife upon my bones hearing it scrap against
them so sweet and lovly it is like music to my ears.
Blood pouring from my socets as my eyes are eaten off the floor
but those stray cats who i thoguht were my friends who now
have a thirst for blood and to slash at my skin upon my legs
this on final night i know now..my heart will never beat
for like always i am alone. Filled with pain and deppression
you can never understand with my last moan and one last snip with the scissors the sound of my flesh tearing from whats left of me i
fall in blood as one last blood feast for those stray cats
as the maggots that escapped crawl out my mouth fingres twitch knife falls i am gone without anyone careing.

(wish this could realy happen.)