Christmas is a time of giving (the finger to motorists who cut you off or steal that parking space from you, fuckwads), sharing (all kinds of illnesses with family you don't care to see the rest of the year, but are forced to pretend to like for a few days in order to get presents), and food (other than tacos, which in my mind, can barely be considered food, so much as the gift of life itself, all wrapped up in a crunchy shell). But what most people don't realize is that Christmas is also a season of loud, annoying music. Yes, I'm talking about Christmas Carols. The bane of many of our existences for the past month, and for a few more days yet to come. Every year, the same hundred or so songs get played on every PA, in every store, everywhere, for a full month. Look, giving birth only lasts a few hours. So why should I have to suffer through Crosby for 70 of them? Yes, if I wanted a White Fucking Christmas, I'd have moved up to Alaska. But instead I came to Florida, where they haven't seen snow stick since '77. And who the fuck cares about a radioactive reindeer and his compatriot, Sir Frosty the Fucking Creepy Animated Pile Of Snow. Geezus fucking christ, people. Even five year olds know these songs. Is this some kind of brainwashing, to make sure these godawful pieces of crap stick in our heads yearround, so that are brains don't have the room to focus on important things like homelessness, starvation, third world countries, or our own fucked up governing bodies? I mean, at the very least, why not play some new carols? Every punk/pop band has at least one Christmas oriented song, and I'm fairly certain that there are holiday songs being bandied about by other musicians as well (though I own less of other genres of CD's, so I can't be sure). Why the hell don't more of these get played. Because the only Chestnuts I want to hear roasting would be Nat King Cole's in the deepest bowels of hell.



Happy Holidays, Cheerful Chanukah, Krazy Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas, and all those other fucked up holiday greetings to each and every one of you.

Well, once again, EK messed something up. Imagine that.


All the second halves of my core classes is in the third trimester.

I'm going to fail.


And they put me in classes I didn't sign up for.

Psych and Child Psych! I can't even handle my own Psychology. Rather yet anyone else's!!!


I hate this school, I hate this new thing, I hate Chemistry, and I'm going to fail this grade.

How can they expect you to retain all that information for 12 weeks and still be perfect? and switch all your teachers?


If I fail, I'm suing the school.



jnbsdhghfpijgor;,emkibfh[g['tf


I'm gonna kill somebody.



This makes Keegan angry.






I need an appointment with my guidance counselor. NOW.


My only way out, as I see it, is this: Drop Chemistry. Drop Psych, Child Psych, and Airbrush.

I need Graphic Design. I want to go to college for it. I need it.

I didn't even sign up for Airbrush!


Did they just draw from a hat?!!

More things that annoy me!


German. The language. It sounds disgusting. Not cute. Ick.

GERALDO. I realize I put this in the last one, but I just hate him that much.

Animal abusers. Screw you, I like animals better than people.

Will's Parents. For constantly grounding him.

WHORES. Go die.

All the people who think that GR is a friggin CITY. ITS NOT. Michigan is just a suburb of Detroit. Just because you go downtown does not mean you have "street cred" you thick skulled moron.

Ruptured eardrum.  Go home, rupture. No one likes you.

Pedophiles. Like Michael Jackson. Leave the children alone, how bout?

Censorship. Don't tell me what not to do. I'll do that more.

Distance..does not make the heart grow fonder. It rips that heart out and throws it into a blender.

Fluffy cute cats that are too good at hiding. COME OUT OF YOUR DEN.

Scene Kids. In general.

Skelletones. or whatever it's called. It sucks. Yep..I went there.

Hair that looks like it might have a racoon in it. WHAT THE HELL.

School days. They go on forever.

Being poor. Margh. It sucks.

My cat's nails. Which she is currently sharpening on the wall.

Special Ed kids. Yeah, I'm awful. Give me a break, I got molested by one. I just think they should be...controlled. For christ's sake.

Sprint. My phone pretty much sucks.

Culver's. The land of Stealing Doug Away.

A lot of people. I'll make a list. Only first initials! T, J, K, E, B, B, M, M, D, etc etc etc


There is a lot more. But I'm bored. And hungry. I wish Doug was here. Or Brittany. I miss them both muchly.

Life is so strange...

You can be happy or you can be sad...

You can lose everything or feel like you've got everything you'd ever want

You can feel as if your life has no meaning or point or you can feel like you have the best friends and people love you..

Sometimes I wonder when my life will stop throwing itself back and forth between opposites. I just want things to be level. And I'm insanely sick of bad things happening in my life. I just decided that it's gotta be bad if I'm just waiting for something to happen..I've grown to expect it.
 
I want my cat back. I miss Mojo...it's been over a year and I can't seem to get over the fact that he's gone. I still half expect him to show up one day like nothing ever changed. It seems like on a daily basis it seems to get worse, the longing for my companion to be back is amazing.
You really never understand how much you love something until it's gone..

or how much a home actually means. How much seeing your family and friends happy means...until it stops.

Seeing my friends unhappy rips me apart. It sounds crazy but when people make my friends cry it makes me want to tear them to shreds. I wish I could thoroughly destroy them.

I miss my Grandpa too...I knew he was going to die ahead of time, so it wasn't the same shock as Mojo and the house. But he was my Grandpa...and he and I were a sort of partnership..we were both the crabby whiny people at all family occasions...and somehow I always felt like we understood each other. His funeral was one of the harder things I've ever had to do...it was so awful to look at the casket and know that he was in there...I miss him.


I'm beginning to feel like I don't know who I can count on to stick around..everyone seems to be slowly leaving me.

I feel like I'm going insane. I'm unsure as to what I should do.

I'm really looking forward to next week, maybe it'll help me clear my mind a little to take the break from school.

Bryan and Brittany are leaving soon. I'm sad.

You think you know me
Call me the Devil's Advocate
Call me the Daughter of Sin
But remember when it boils down to it I'm the one who'll win.


What an interesting week.

You think you know me? You don't. You think I lie and cheat. I don't.

You don't know me but you try to talk and act like you do.

This week I've been voicing my opinion loud and clear. For everyone to hear. Mostly because that's who I am. If I don't like you, you will definitely know. When I feel strongly about something..you'll really know.

I'm not the type of person who will be censored my useless and thoughtless administrative adults. When they tell me what to do, that makes me want to do it less. I have a problem with authority and I'm happy about it. I hope it never goes away.

GET THIS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL. I WILL NOT CHANGE ME OR MY OPINIONS FOR YOU. So stop whining to Izzy about "blah blah blah she doesn't like me" DEAL WITH IT. It's not going to change.

Once I get an idea through my head it's there. I'm stubborn and I'm not the type of girl who'll listen to your idea and say "zomg you're right! I'll change my entire philosophy of life for you!!" Not gonna happen. Ever.

Don't like what I say? Then don't listen. I'm not going to shut up for your comfort zone. Open your eyes and ears to the world and maybe you'd realize exactly how sheltered you are.

Most of you don't know me, or anything about my life or experiences....so you should shut up or throw down. If you have a problem with me, say it to my face. Be a man. Or woman. Don't yell at me on the internet and not tell me your name, that just makes me feel even better. Don't act big then run away.

So, coming back to my main point.

Shut up.

My grandpa's funeral was today.

Talk about sad.

I ended up being in Rockford from 10 til 5.

It started with the actual funeral, and that was very sad, my grandma and really everyone was crying. They played beautiful music and showed a video with pictures. Some how it seemed very unreal, all of it. My grandpa is dead...I don't like it. I miss him.

His casket had an American flag over it. He served in the US Navy and so that was part of it, but the bigger part was his 32 year work at the fire department, as chief of the firefighters in Rockford. He did a lot for the community.

They had his firefighter helmet, boots, and jacket out, and a whole lot of flowers.

After a lot of crying and even more bible passages, we left in a massive procession to the cemetary. Along with all the cars, and the old fashion herse, there were also around 20 massive firetrucks leading and ending the procession...we stopped traffic for miles. But everyone in Rockford knew what was going on, so..yeah.

When we got to the funeral, one of the fire trucks had used its ladder to hang a massive, and I mean massive american flag over the road to the grave. the pallbearers were his fellow firefighters. People don't realize how much they mean to each other....they also rang the firefighter bell three times, which is again, a tradition among the family of firefighters.

Then all the grandchildren and children of my grandpa got a white balloon, and we all tied/stapled our note to Grandpa to the string, and then we all released them at once..it was really beautiful.

There was more stuff but I don't really feel like thinking about it more.

I really miss my Grandpa...he was a good man.

Oh, and for some of the people who asked: he was 66.
I thought he was younger but I was wrong.

I dunno, he and I were sort of a duo...we were always the two people sitting in the corner at family reunions, making fun of people and joking with each other, and the people complaining when we had to go to Red Lobster (neither of us liked seafood)

He was a good man....and many people loved him and were affected by him..he saved a lot of people's lives.



Maybe more later...

I've been posting a whole lot today >.<


Things that bother me. Ha.

People who push what they believe on me. (as if I care about them)

People who are completely hypocritical.

Elitist morons who think the music they listen to is better than every other type of music.

Pulling that cotton thing out of pill bottles.

People who say "so you worship the devil" at the moment they find out I'm not Christian.

When hair dye doesn't go over your roots.

People who lie to me.

People who mess with my friends.

Heart monitors.

Waking up in the morning.

Being away from my friends.

My hands. margh!!

GERALDO.

Probably you. Deal with it.

People who judge me without knowing me.

People who learn everything they know from books, and then talk about it like they were there.

People who think they know everything.

People who try to fool around with my boyfriend when I'm not around to kick them in the head.

People who break my friend's hearts.

I'm sure there is more. I'm just too tired to keep goin. Margh.

Oh well.

Just a final note here.

When you betray me..you've broken my trust. Once you've broken my trust, you sure as sin aren't fixin it. And if you mess with my friends or family I will take you on. I don't care if you're bigger than me or tougher or smarter. I'll take you down. And I'll make you unhappy. Trust me. I've done it before, ask Izzy or Kav, they'll tell you a fun story or two. Ha.


I'm not thinking of any particular person...


Isn't it awesome when you don't even care that people hate you? And you know why I don't? Because I know that they're just jealous. Of my awesome friends and my boyfriend and they don't know what else to do, cuz I don't like them


haahahah.




I win, and you all just suck at life.