everyone knows me as the wild girl. i dont want that anymore.
i dont want a crazy boyfriend who drinks.
i dont want to be the girl who brings the jager to partys.
or the girl with weed in her van.
i want to be the girl who you know lives for god.
i am determined to be the girl i was a few years ago.
before things went down hill.

ever since my sister was murdered this past summer, i have been doing alot of thinking.
and i realized i want to and am going to rekindle my relationship with god and be a good christian. im going to get my act together in school, and drop the people who are bad influences on me. & im sure my church will be happy to see me.

i cant do this alone though.
its going to be tough breaking bad habits.
so please dont peer pressure me.
and just be supportive.

=D

i might add more to this blog later.

this song has a very powerfull meaning. whenever things are tough in life, i listen to it. So read carefully, or listin to it online somewhere (HELD, by natalie grant) and see if u can figure out what natalie is saying with the lyrics. :)


Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
[Bridge]
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
We'd be held

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This is what it means to be held.....

so my friend cody corey wrote this song.
i thought it was really good, and i wanted to share it with others.
so here it is for all u.


sleeping aids and serenades





I'm lying awake in my bed
With our song, stuck in my head
Sleep never comes, but that's okay
Unconsciousness is just a breath away

I'm gonna regret not saying anything
Or beggin you to just stay with me
Well I think we'd both agree
That the best thing, is for you to be with me

Well, you were right and I was wrong
I am what's left of this song
You were up and I was down
You were the best thing left in town
You were great and I was lost
When I was boo'd you still applaused
You were night, and I was day
The sunlight died when you went away

Sleeping aids and serenades
Fall on me like hand grenades
It's late at night and I'm still awake
Hoping you'll still feel the same

Thoughts of you and your angelic face
Take me off to a better place
Still no sleep but I won't complain
As long as I pretend your lying next to me

That you were right and I was wrong
I am what's left of this song
You were up and I was down
You were the best thing left in town
You were great and I was lost
When I was boo'd you still applaused
You were night, and I was day
The sunlight died when you went away

Hand in hand, eye to eye
Just say whatevers on your mind
Take a breath, and say to me
"Babe you mean the world to me"

That's all a dream, it's in my head
It never happened but I wish it did
Looks like notes and our pictures
Will have to do while I'm missing her

That you were right and I was wrong
I am what's left of this song
You were up and I was down
You were the best thing left in town
You were great and I was lost
When I was boo'd you still applaused
You were night, and I was day
The sunlight died when you went away

Cause I could be him
The one you'd love
I could be him
Don't give this up

I could be him
Forever I'd stay
If I can be him
Then everything will be okay

I never wanted this to end
You know it's true
Every time I take a breath
I think of you

And everytime I think of you
It let's me breath
But breathing just makes me wish
You were here with me

Here with me...

That you were right and I was wrong
I am what's left of this song
You were up and I was down
You were the best thing left in town
You were great and I was lost
When I was boo'd you still applaused
You were night, and I was day
The sunlight died when you went away

Cause I could be him
The one you'd love
I could be him
Don't give this up

I could be him
Forever I'd stay
If I can be him
Then everything will be okay

I never wanted this to end
You know it's true
Every time I take a breath
I think of you

And everytime I think of you
It let's me breath
But breathing just makes me wish
You were here with me

I never wanted this to end
You know it's true
Every time I take a breath
I think of you

And everytime I think of you
It let's me breath
But breathing just makes me wish
You were here with me