http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6db2qMRmuc

Blessings to all my Brethren. To my Christian brothers and Sisters..a Most beautiful Christmas wish :)

It's interesting how many people ask the question "What do you believe 2012 is?" and then are more or less confused by my answer, or think I have lost my mind..lol. But,  I feel compelled to write a record of my thoughts somewhere..as well as the dreams which have led to these thoughts.

2012..by definition of the Mayan calander itself, IS not a DATE.. it is an ERA, extending from 1998 until 2014 by the current Christian Calander. It is indeed a period in time, basically calling for the end of one rotation of the earth's clock, and the beginning of another. I DO NOT believe it is the end of the world, in fact, i truly believe it is a new beginning.


Lately, I have been flooded with dreams, dreams that leave me confused many times, relating to Orson Well's "The Time Machine" and monkeys that act as men, the numbers "25" and believe it or not..elastic bands around the planet..lol... (now most people would brush these dreams off as "subconscious" trash) I have never been the type to ever cast ANY dream off without first trying to finda  meaning to them. Best i can come up with..is what i tend to tell people what i believe is "coming" for the era of 2012.

What do i see in my dreams? How did i translate them? welp..my feelings, and what causes the lightbulb to go on inside my head and say "yep..i think that's it" Is basically the collapse of the teachings of World religions. I believe that everything mankind has held to be truth from a religious point of view, is going to be rocked to it's core. From the Old Testament to the New, I believe we are going to unearth things that will completely disrupt every historylesson we have ever been taught.

Now..is this good or bad in my eyes?? it is BOTH. The truth, is never a bad thing, however, the reasons the truth has been buried, was also for good reason. Societies have been created and destroyed based off religious philosophies. In many instances, it is what seperated chaos from calm, a means to control the masses through fear of a deed that could damage the whole...basically, forcing selflessness on a creature that is NOT known to be selfless unless forced into that role (aka mankind). But..i believe mankind, has evolved into a creature that has begun to outgrow the teaches of World religion, they have learned to utilize it to exterminate each other. When it comes to intelligence, i sometimes wonder about us ...we don't seem to learn from the lessons that are obvious. We cry for our lost sons and daughters, and yet, we cannot seem to get past the whole "I'm right and your wrong issue" I believe 2012, will begin the revelations to the truths. THIS will cause some to completely loose faith in everything..a "Godless World" does indeed seem like a scary place to consider.. however..at this point..i think a "Godly World" is even scarier.

WE shall see what comes in the next several months and years. But i CAN tell you..it is afoot already..the changes and information, are beginning to surface. we can either shrink and hide from them, or perhspa seek to learn and advance ourselves into something that is better then we could have ever dreamed.

We shall find the missing link, we shall discover the future, in our past. Newton, had it right, look backwards in order to move forward. I wonder if he actually saw the future in our past??

I don't know folks, i can just tell you I am extemely pumped for what i know is coming..cannot tell u HOW deeply i feel this..it is so strong it overwhelms.

Very excited to be onbaord the SS American Victory, docked in the Port of Tampa for an overnight investigation. We are full up on audio and video, and i will post additionally on this blog after i have begun reviewing evidence that we find. Even if this comes back as a blank (especially on audio) when it comes to aucustics, large boats tend to suck...lol

Love and Light guys..and happy hunting!

~Vixen

OK..am editting this blog and introducing a video link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbmId515C9Y

that is video which was taken onboard the American Victory..it was done a few hours after i posted this.. My Sony Nightcam has suddenly gone from full battery to nothing...and i had grabbed my digital cam as backup..trying to keep the flashlight in front of me. I had JUST issued a challenge for whatever it was Eloise (the other invesigator) and I were hearing..as i said it..my Sony took a dump...i brought this cam online..and as i was literally turning to get my barings, Eloise got smacked. The other reason i found this video interesting..is at the point were we are climbing into the catwalks to the engine room..u can hear a man talking in the video..muffled almost and in the background..at that time..eloise and I were the ONLY people on our level..and the two people below us on the catwalk..were women.. u can hear them speaking and it is nowhere close to the voice we have on my camera.

It was a really interesting night, and a worth while investigation...would definitely return!

I know many people do the whole "life regression thing" at New Years usually..and pick out their strong and weak points..and try to improve and move on from there...with me..I usually do that on my birthday..probably because i am ever reminded of my aging process...lol.

I guess I am one of the few women, who actually likes the fact that I am getting older. I feel safer as each year passes..and as we all know..for females..safety is a HUGE factor that molds our personalities. I delight in the growth of my children, secretly acknowledging that they are no longer my "babies" but they are indeed a young woman and man with their own lives and distinctive personalities.and i will absolutely admit pride in that area.. what many do not know about me is that I have raised my children 100% on my own..and have made my share of parenting errors.."coulda woulda shoulda" are probably three of the most used words in my language.. coulda divorced their dad earlier..shoulda gone after child support, instead of worrying about his precarious state of mind, woulda had a different life had i done so..and i am saying this in a public blog as a form of cleansing.. i know many out there have things SO much worse then anything i could have lived through..my message in this is..forgive yourself, and move on.. i think i have found that slim nodule of truth with in the years as they have passed. Especially Now..as I look back on some of the things i have lived through and dealt with..i smile and know that in the end.. I did what i thought was right..and i can admit, that some of it was wrong. I actually smile at some of the goofy times I have had..and cringe over some of the messages that i missed in a HUGE way from my kids.. I guess what i am saying..is that finally..after many years.. i have learned to forgive myself. AND that..is the BEST birthday gift i could EVER get in a million years! I have noticed that in the past year, who I am, is truly beginning to blossom, and i have learned to not judge anyone..even when they have wronged me..simply because I AM NOT THEM...and I do not sit in their shoes.. judgement just seems to be alot easier then the truth sometimes..or even forgiveness..but in the end..it is forgiveness that allows me to move past the self made barriers which i always felt trapped my spirit.

I guess this sums me up for the next year..and I will strive to live up to the potential i know I have within myself.

To my friends and those I love...THANK you for all of your well wishes..and most of all for your friendship.

Love and Light Guys... Keep the balance!

http://www.realitywanted.com/calls/allapplicants/4074/

Go there and VOTE!  I am under my real name..which is Nancy..and currently have over 20 votes.

I WILL say that i know several of the ladies that are up there..and it is a tough field..they are all awesome and i wish them all the luck!

Love and Light!

~Vixen

History records holidays and historically noted periods in time as the reflected images in the ever changing mirror of progression and consequence. Imbolc..is a Holiday with this type of facade..mirroring the hopes and dreams of each culture as they adopt the ways of the old, and mold them to the society of the current accepted religious factions.

Imbolc..broken down to it's most basic definition..is the celebration of the strengthening of the sun as it re-emerges from the dark months of Winter. To many ancient as well as modern cultures, this time period signified the birth of new life which is celebrated during Ostara.. Imbolc..is the preparation for this rebirth...Personally, I have always seen Imbolc as the mid way point in a journey from the darkness..where the light of Spring is now reachable and in sight..it is achievable to survive.

This Feast is known by many names to many people, for the Truth is reflected from many mirrors. It has been celebrated as Februa and Candlemas. Our ancestors called it by names long forgotten, and our children will call it by names as yet unconceived.

At this time, our ancestors saw the Sun, the weak and helpless Child of Light, grow stronger day by day. The land still lies in darkness, but the rule of the darkness is challenged by the infant Lord of Light. Little by little, the skies grow light and the blessed Earth gives forth her first flowers, snowdrop and crocus, as promise of the Summer that is to be when all creation will rejoice in the One Universal Light.

This Feast of Imbolc is sacred to the Lady, the child-woman, the virgin who is known as Brighid and Athena and Britomartis and names without number. It is she who brought forth the Child of Light out of the Darkness in the darkest of the Dark Days. It is she who has nurtured the Child and now brings him forth as the new hope. It is She who has prepared the sleeping Earth to bring forth her bounty in the Summer which even here has its first beginnings.

As we see the Child of Light grow stronger day by day in the arms of the Mother, so do we understand that we ourselves will grow under the protection of the Mantle of the Lady, and the Light that shines within us will bring forth a great harvest in the ground that She has prepared. This is our knowledge and our affirmation.

By writing the history and definitions of our most sacred Pagan Feasts..I hope to bring a light of understanding to others who fear what and who we are. In many ways it is a lesson across the board and to all beliefs that we are not so different. While Pagans accept nature as their "ultimate truth" and most other religions accept a diety.. (and yes..most pagans accept the goddess as the pure embodiement of the truths within Nature itself..both feminine and masculine)...on the whole..we all ascribe to something that makes us better people, our major differences lie within the methods of achievement. Our hope..is that perhaps someday, somehow, the road of the future will not be paved on the successes of those we plundered or systimatically undermined into a false oblivion..but on understanding.

Love and Light guys..always remember..without our past..we cannot possibly seek to improve the future.

So many...so so many have predicted the quakes of California...they have forseen the end of it's attachment to our continent, as well as Washington..Oregon..and anything along our western seaboard. You would think that my dreams would show me this...alas..i am always the damn needle in the haystack..I dreamt last night of something i have been verbalizing for several years now..a strange feeling within that kept drawing me to another area of our great nation..and not California. Nor the western seaboard...and this..is not so much a quake as an eruption. To my friends..those i love and hold dear..know this..i do not say this to create panic or fear..but my dream was intense..and again..i have the need to relay. Within the next year..and as much as i hate to say this..i would say perhaps within the next two to three months...i fear there may be an eruption in yellowstone..or that vicinity..something that might echo the force of what occured 150 years ago or so. I was shown geysers in this dream..as well as incredible valleys..and then..i was shown London...and then..the mississippi..this dream has occured several times..and in this time..i did research..trying to figure out what the images could mean to me..and why i felt such pressure and anxiety ..what i found in historical data..backed up my initial feelings on this dream...i fear yellowstone is heading for an eruption..a shifting of plates.. Last week i had a horrible round of dizziness and then this week...i am seeing that yellowstone is acting up with earthquake activity..putting this together with the vision of the tower of London...and the smell of smoke and burning...it cemented my feelings.

I truly hope i am wrong...and that this is the rantings of a woman who dreams too much. But again..i cannot shake the feeling that i am correct. So here it is.

I do not think i am this way to warn people in order to change things..but perhaps to prepare them..and myself ..who knows...i just know i hate writing this..because it upsets me to that degree..again..i sincerely hope that what i have dreamt..and what that has led me to research..is incorrect. Only time will tell

Love and Light

~Vixen

I am posting this here, as well as on my team page.. I am doing this simply because i am searching for answers to an event which happened to me over the weekend. I have never made a secret of my gifts, nor the fact that i seek scientific explanation for them.. also, i never allow them to be offered as evidence, only to guide our equipement to that "holy grail" of the paranormal. I had a friend refer me to this link after i described what happened..and it gives me a bit more insight http://www.visualexperiments.org/afterimages.html

But my question remains..WHY would i be shown something that was NOT present in the room with me..whether in black and white or full color.. this experience unsettled me in a huge way...if ANYONE has any input..PLEASE do so.

This is what i posted on my forums..there are several parts to it where i responded to people asking questions:


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	Re: Clewiston Inn « Reply 5 on Dec 14, 2008, 11:44pm »
.. --> google_ad_section_start --> ok..the Clewiston..what can i say?? It was a very interesting if not unsettling experience for me. Unfortunately, Clewiston carries a tremendous energy simply in the form of event impact to an area.. by event impact, i mean when i walked into an area where something occurred..i not only knew IMMEDIATELY what had happened..but i knew how it happened, and i could feel what had occurred. While this is not an unfamiliar facet to my gift..it was non the less unsettling. For the first time i had what i called "the negative effect" experience..not meaning a bad or dark (negative energy) BUT..i had the entire room invert to black and white on me and basically..the people in the room with me were not there for a split second..all's i could see what a shadow image of a person hanging...without being shown or told ANY history of the kitchens..i was able to pinpoint exactly where a man had hung himself..also, exactly where the angry chef throws his tantrums..also..there was a stabbing..and what i sensed was NOT the person who committed the crime..but the victim..i kept hearing the words "he should never have been allowed to work with knives..over and over) When i was asked Why the chef is angry..the ONLY word that kept screaming through my head was "women" (in a way that sounded disgusted). later that evening, in an attempt to verify what I was hearing..we did a session with an EMF meter as well as a thermal and other equipment. When the topic turned to the Chef's wife..the meters started going bonkers..again..i felt somewhat validated int he fact that "women" were indeed a sore point for him. All in all i can say that i was not necessarily happy with my reactions in the Clewiston Inn..and as an investigator, i would say it warrants further attention before i claim it to be haunted..but as a sensitive, i can tell you what i felt was rock solid, and generally, when i feel that way..good evidence turns up

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(This is a response posting)

Re: Clewiston Inn « Reply 6 Today at 1:40pm »

.. --> google_ad_section_start --> i am going to add to this..i wrote what i felt because i had a specific need to relay my reactions to certain areas of the Clewiston Inn..although i make my team base it's findings off what we actually can gather as "scientifically provable" ..it is no less mind bending to me when things occur with my gift that take me back. I know there are others like me out there, and that many of us experience new things as we plunge ourselves into an atmosphere that is conducive to allowing our gift to focus..i think what took me back was that i was NOT focusing when these flash points took place, nor was i able to detach from the emotions without removing myself from the area completely.. this was 100% new to me..i am very used to controlling to inflow and output of what occurs near me, and very used to seperating..while i was able to "know" these were NOT my feelings, and not my upset..it still would not seperate out for me. I found myself shaking with anger at some points while in the kitchen..literally just wanting to pitch things at the wall..it took everything in me to NOT do this, and to simply relay that anger was building. I DID find myself saying verbally and out loud that i was sorry for his anger, and that i wanted to understand it..also..the stabbing victim..with that energy i felt a deep sense of needing to apologize. What i felt with that was an absolute disbelief that he was the victim of such a preventable crime..i got the feeling that everyone who worked in that kitchen "knew" that the person who stabbed him was violent, and capable of doing what he did..i felt like he had warned others of this persons violent tendency..and no one listened. It was a sense of just absolute upset over his wasting eternity wondering WHY no one would have sought to help him when it was really needed. Like he mocked the investigators for coming in and trying to get information NOW..when it really didn't matter. I hope this gives some insight to those who were with me in the kitchen that night..and to those who do further investigating down there..it was indeed an experience i shall not forget anytime soon. If anyone else has had the experience of "the negative affect" PLEASE write me about it..i have never done that before..and was not happy when it occurred. I prefer my gift to be within the perimeters to which i have adapted myself, and everytime it steps outside those bounds it rocks my world...

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(This is me posting again)

Re: Clewiston Inn « Reply 7 Today at 1:53pm »
.. --> google_ad_section_start --> Wow Nancy! I do understand how difficult that probably was for you. I've never experienced that, but I do know that I have experienced "negative" energy and I wasn't happy about not being able to control myself at times around it. Like I said, I have no idea how that felt for you, but I do know it would have probably rocked my world a little

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I know it sounds nuts..but i really could care less how it sounds...it has unsettled me..and i am seeking answers..so anyone with any input..please..let er rip!

Re: Clewiston Inn « Reply 8 Today at 2:14pm »

.. --> google_ad_section_start --> It was truly like something straight out of a sci fi book..for a split second...i could NOT see color, only black and white..the reason i called it "the negative affect" was because in what i saw..the light areas were shadows..and the shadowed areas were bright...in other words..the room we were in..was pitch black..when that event occured for me..suddenly i could see every corner of the room illuminated, and the dark shadow of the upper torso of a man hanging from the rafter...it stopped me dead in my tracks... the other thing i found absolutely uncanny about that room, was the fact that it was very hot in there for me...like my blood pressure suddenly shot out of control..i started sweating..and the smell..i cannot even go there..it flipped my stomach. THE only other place i smelled that..was upstairs in 255. I walked into the room..the first words OUT of my mouth were..what the HELL is that smell??? NO one else smelled it...i was told afterward by Rich and Honey that a woman died in that room and her body sat there for four days...i was like..omg..u can still smell it!!!

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I gotta tell ya folks...it makes me smile..i have had so many people ask me how we swallow our fear when we are investigating...and it makes me scratch my head...in the absence of fear do we find answers...now that does not mean in the absence of caution..but fear..truly has no place in what we do..not if u truly wish to have the answers u seek. I think i have more stories of how absolutely undignified ghosthunting can be..rather then how scary..basically..how u have to completely let go of any hesitations u might have in pursuit of finding a greater truth..and perhaps the way of dealing with this is to learn to laugh at yourself.

When i think of some of the crazy ..ass backwards situations i have gotten myself into in an attempt to debunk something i saw or heard...it never ceases to amaze me that i actually DID that...lol. I think of how my team must view me as i teeter totter on the side of a bathtub that is way too large for me to be balanced on..as they then watch me contort to reach an oposite window in an attempt to recreate a sound that i heard...or crawling under areas that are way smaller then i first thought in an attempt to trace electrical wiring...or better yet..turning on every water faucet i can find to try to get pipes to bang or settle...clicking heat and air on and off the try to see if the wood is settling or perhaps the building itself is reacting to adverse conditions. Forgetting where i am at different points becuase i am soooo ass deep in thought about what it might be..rather then assuming it is paranormal. Then having an experience that i cannot explain..and instead of glorifying in my experience..questioning the complications of the timing..or perhaps the validity of the wiring around me. Sometimes i wonder if i am crazier to believe..or not believe..

Top ten things that have startled me...lol...

1. equipment i thought was off...not so much....that little beep goes  a LONG way in the dark.

2. flashlight in the face...u see images that are amazing when u are blinded like that..unfortunately...lol..u cannot see ur next step.

3. photo flash...good GODS i wish everyone would learn to say "flash" before they shoot...just give me that half second to blink!

4. Digital recorders being played back during an evp session without notice..lol...ok..that one has gotten me a few times

5. investigators snoring...as MUCH as we hate to admit it..it happens...and trust me..when in the dark..that is one EERIE noise!

6. People whispering in areas where they are not supposed to me...yes..if i hear a whisper behind a door..i freeze for a moment and get my barings...takes a sec to realize it may be a teammate or someone in the family...but man..it can stop ur heart sometimes.

7. accoustical nightmares...places that echo alot...when u first encounter this..it is really a nightmare...what is in front of u sounds behind you..and what is behind u is out front..u spend half the night tracking how the noise is reverberating..and the other half getting ur heartrate back to normal.

8. outside investigations...lol..in florida...one word...SNAKE..and yes..they suck

9. Trees....ok..they suck too...have had a few sap fights with trees...although i laugh now..when it happened..i thinik my heart crawled up my throat and came pounding out of my mouth.

10. The ALL encompassing mouthed words "there's something behind you" WHENEVER you see this from a fellow investigator...basically..for a split second..u shit yourself..no kind way to say it... every animal instinct in your body ignites and self protection goes to the front of the line...the idea is..move past the split second and turn around...lol..i would rather face something behind me..then give it the opportunity to remain unseen or undetected by me.

And yes..every single one of these things have occured to me..and i am sure they have occured to every other investigator in the field...so in answer to the obvious question..how do u deal with fear?? we don't deny it...we hit it head on..and conquer it...sometimes with laughter..sometimes with logic..but in the end..we ALWAYS conquer it..otherwise what we seek has the upper hand...

~Vixen

Whilst no person can say that they concrete KNOW the origins of the holidays of Christmas/Yule..there is one thing that scholars always agree upon..the fact that Christ..in accordance to the biblical chronology as it is laid forth, could not have been born in December..Some estimate his birth to have been in March/April..during passover...some scholars believe he was born in September..or six months past passover..but one thing is certain..all accounts in biblical context agree that the shepherds were tending their sheep in the fields..so the most UNLIKELY months of Christ's birth..would have been the Winter months of November through February. With this being said...what exactly are the origins of Christmas?? In truth it goes back to pagan origins as far back as Babylonia.

In ancient Babylon, the feast of the Son of Isis (Goddess of Nature) was celebrated on December 25. Raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving were traditions of this feast.

In Rome, the Winter Solstice was celebrated many years before the birth of Christ. The Romans called their winter holiday Saturnalia, honoring Saturn, the God of Agriculture. In January, they observed the Kalends of January, which represented the triumph of life over death. This whole season was called Dies Natalis Invicti Solis, the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun. The festival season was marked by much merrymaking. It is in ancient Rome that the tradition of the Mummers was born. The Mummers were groups of costumed singers and dancers who traveled from house to house entertaining their neighbors. From this, the Christmas tradition of caroling was born.

In northern Europe, many other traditions that we now consider part of Christian Worship were begun long before the participants had ever heard of Christ. The pagans of northern Europe celebrated the their own winter solstice, known as Yule. Yule was symbolic of the pagan Sun God, Mithras, being born, and was observed on the shortest day of the year. As the Sun God grew and matured, the days became longer and warmer. It was customary to light a candle to encourage Mithras, and the sun, to reappear next year.

Huge Yule logs were burned in honor of the sun. The word Yule itself means "wheel," the wheel being a pagan symbol for the sun. Mistletoe was considered a sacred plant, and the custom of kissing under the mistletoe began as a fertility ritual. Hollyberries were thought to be a food of the gods.

The tree is the one symbol that unites almost all the northern European winter solstices. Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during the harsh winters as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshipping huge trees.

In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ's birth would be celebrated on December 25. There is little doubt that he was trying to make it as painless as possible for pagan Romans (who remained a majority at that time) to convert to Christianity The new religion went down a bit easier, knowing that their feasts would not be taken away from them.

Christmas (Christ-Mass) as we know it today, most historians agree, began in Germany, though Catholics and Lutherans still disagree about which church celebrated it first. The earliest record of an evergreen being decorated in a Christian celebration was in 1521 in the Alsace region of Germany. A prominent Lutheran minister of the day cried blasphemy: "Better that they should look to the true tree of life, Christ."

The controversy continues even today in some fundamentalist sects.

So again...even with the history of several pagan belief systems..mixed with Christianity..ONE thing holds true throughout all belief systems..the standard of New Life, and joining the community as one to fight through the harshness of the circumstances that we cannot control. Perhaps if we loose the glitter and commercialism that we have injected into this incredible holiday, and managed to loose the names of the examples of faith that we hold. We could find unity in the very base form that this holiday was actually created for.

Blessed Yule to all of my Pagan brethren, and Merry Christmas to my Christians...Happy Holiday to all those faiths that fall in between, including the atheists. One does not have to have faith in a deity to show faith in mankind...remember that as you plod through this season.