Well, the stance Haven has taken on the LVPPD is no secret now...not that we wanted it to be.  We're finding some wonderful support from many who are proud that we are fighting so hard to bring more diversity to LVPPD.  But there are some that are reading our intentions as trying to tear the local community apart...which couldn't be further than the truth.  We would truly like to see LVPPD succeed and become a true representation of the local pagan community...and it's sad that we had to take a stand like this for people to examine the true state of the community and work for the entire community.  Our intention (Haven) was never to divide the community further, but to push harder for respect of all beliefs and true diversity.  Unfortunately some see our actions as hurting the community further or acting out like a spoiled child who has not gotten their own way.  This is where we feel our intentions are being misrepresented.  We want our local pagan pride day to be a true representation of our community and welcoming to all...but we didn't see it happening and felt that actions taken to do those things weren't occurring or being seriously looked at.  Therefore we took our stand.
We never expected everyone to share our views, but we know that there were enough that did to stand behind us.  Our point in sending out the survey was to show the particular issues that the community felt LVPPD had as well as what they were doing right...that way concentration could be put on the proper aspects.  We were also attempting to show what parts of the community felt unwelcome or underrepresented and which parts were already being properly represented....again so that the proper aspects could be worked on.  But, alas, there will always be those that view this as an attack or interpreted differently than intended.
I just find it sad that it is that way...and wish that some (that don't) would see it an attempt to try to help the local community as it is intended.
We're all working towards the same goal....why is that so difficult to see??

The Haven/TWC Auction web-site is up and running LIVE NOW!!  Go ahead and register NOW....check out what's for sale and help us out!
http://www.twcauction.com
Blessings,
Night

As I sit here trying to finish my term paper for my grief therapy class, an appropriate song plays on my WinAmp.  For those who are familiar with Lord of the Rings, you may be familiar with this song.  This is the song of the Elves...the song symbolic of their journey of leaving Middle Earth as they take their ships to the Grey Haven.  This song always made me quite nostalgic and even a bit sad...perhaps it is memory that stirs...perhaps it is a longing for 'home'...perhaps it is just nothing at all...

"Into The West"

by Annie Lennox (From LOTR)

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You've come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

[Chorus]
What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say: «We have come now to the end»
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

[Chorus]

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West

Yeah, here's another Savatage song for you all... 

Another of my faves...

Seems rather appropriate these days as it has in the past for me...

Some have commented that it has xtian overtones, but I don't see it that way...

And thank you to Marius for reminding me that in this labrynth of life there is still that minatour at the center; even if we navigate it's path without incident, we are still faced with adversity and struggle at the center.  It is our job to make sure that the largest amount of souls are saved from it's savage grasp...but we cannot save them all...

Regardless, here it is...

16. Believe

So after all those one night stands
You've ended up with heart in hand
A child alone
On your own
Retreating
Regretful for the things you're not
And all the things you haven't got
Without a home
A heart of stone
Lies bleeding

And for all the roads you followed
And for all you did not find
And for all the dreams you had to leave behind

I am the way
I am the light
I am the dark inside the night
I hear your hopes
I feel your dreams
And in the dark I hear your screams
Don't turn away
Just take my hand
And when you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
And all I ask of you
Believe

Your childhood eyes were so intense
While bartering your innocence
For bits of string
The grown-up wings
You needed

But when you had to add them up
You found that there were not enough
To get you in
Pay for sins repeated

And for all the years you borrowed
And for all the tears you hide
And for all the fears you had to keep inside

I am the way
I am the light
I am the dark inside the night
I hear your hopes
I feel your dreams
And in the dark
I hear your screams

Don't walk away
Just take my hand
And when you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
And all I ask of you is
Believe

I never wanted to know
Never wanted to see
I wasted my time
Till time wasted me
I never wanted to go
I always wanted to stay
'Cause the persons I am
Are the parts that I play
So I plot and I plan
And I hope and I scheme
To the lure of a night
Filled with unfinished dreams
And I'm holding on tight
To a world gone astray
As they charge me for years
I can no longer pay

I am the way
I am the light
I am the dark
Inside the night
I hear your hopes
I feel your dreams
And in the dark
I hear your screams
Don't turn away
Just take my hand
And when you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
And all I ask of you is

Believe

Yes, I know I still need to blog about many other things, but I had to blog this now.  After an exhaustive search, I finally found a myspace music page that had one of my all-time fave songs (Not What You See) by one of my all-time fave bands (Savatage).  It's now on my profile... here's the lyrics...

Not What You See

[Music & Words: Jon Oliva, Paul O'Neill]

No life's so short it can't turn around
You can't spend your life living underground
For from above you don't hear a sound
And I'm out here, waiting
I don't understand what you want me to be
It's the dark you're hating, it's not who I am
But I know that it's all that you see

No life's so short that it never learns
No flame so small that it never burns
No page so sure that it never turns
And I'm out here, waiting
I don't understand what you want me to be
It's the dark you're hating, it's not who I am
But I know that it's all that you see

[bridge]
Can you live your life in a day, putting every moment in play?
Never hear a word that they say as the wheels go around

Tell me if you win would it show - in a thousand years, who would know?
As a million lives come and go on this same piece of ground

[simultaneously]

Can you live your life in a day
I've been waiting
Putting every moment in play?
Never hear a word that they say
I don't understand what you want me to be
As the wheels go around
Tell me if you win would it show
It's the dark you're hating
In a thousand years, who would know?
As a million lives come and go
It's not who I am, but it is what you see
On this same piece of ground

[simultaneously]

[1.]
I've been waiting
I don't understand what you want me to be
It's the dark you're hating
It's not who I am, but it is what you see

[2.]
Can you live your life in a day
Putting every moment in play?
Never hear a word that they say
As the wheels go around
Tell me if you win would it show
In a thousand years, who would know?
As a million lives come and go
On this same piece of ground

[3.]
Tell me would you really want to
See me leave this night without you
Would you ever look about you
Wondering where we might be
New York is so far away now
Tokyo, Berlin and Moscow
Only dreams from here but somehow
One day that world we will see

[simultaneously again, except substitute this for stanza 1 and]
[clip last three syllables of the last line of stanzas 2 and 3]

[1.]
I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand
I don't understand...

[together, immediately]

...what I see.

[solo]

[coda]
I swear on tomorrow, if you take this chance
Our lives are this moment, the music - the dance
And here in this labyrinth of lost mysteries
I close my eyes on this night and you're all that I see

You're all that I see...

Wow....where do I even begin??  Well, I feel like I fell into a time warp this weekend (and if anyone starts singing Rocky Horror, I'll kick you in the head)...I revisited a life I have not revisited in a good ten years.  And, damn, do I miss those days sometimes!  I used to work with new/local bands what seems a lifetime ago back in Chicago...after doing the groupie gig, I did the publicity/promo gig for a couple few years.  Those were good times.  I used to live my life at the clubs and with the bands and with a drink or two...but that was long ago and far away....

Now this weekend I revisited those days courtesy of Aimee and her boys, Tattooed Millionaires (well, I can't leave out the hot english rockers, Riot Noise!).  Here's my little story of a weekend of friends, hot rockers, great music, and waaaaay too much to drink....

Story begin:  Excalibur, a crappy room, and a bit of gambling.  Yeah, I hit a Royal!  Okay, moving on....let's fast forward to hitting the Rox Club.  Okay, not a great club...so not impressed (okay, a couple of the staff rocked); stupid people with ego problems, so not impressed (it's okay, they got theirs...don't fuck with a witch!); being "tattooed" by a hot drummer, SO impressed; rockers with dreamy english accents, SO impressed....

Great show...good drinks...let's cab it to the after-party.  Now don't even get me started on this disaster.  All I have to say is Planet Hollywood will never again be graced by my royal presence in this or any other lifetime.  Trendy,ego-driven clubs are not even close to my forte and gods, I remember why now!  Let's just say I had to keep myself in check from metaphysically injuring many an individual....   What a freaking buzz kill!

Well, eventually we decided sleep was in order after a while (about 6am?).  We considered just staying another night and having a good time, but our room was booked by someone else for saturday.  Oh well...let's check out.  Checked out, checked the bags at the bell desk and decided to gamble for a few.  Brilliant idea...let's just call around and find an inexpensive room some place else and just try to make up for the buzz kill from the previous night.  Found a room at Palace Station.  Let the good times roll!!  Checked in and found we'd been upgraded to a Jr. Suite....wow, did that rock!!!  Then found out that the bands had gotten a gig at Cheyenne Saloon for that night....well, this kind of works out well! 

The Haven meet was sort of a bust for the night, so we didn't even worry about getting to Border's for the meetup.  Mitch, Amanda and Alyssia ended up stopping by because they were going to go to the meetup and I had to hear about Mitch's new beau.  Hmmm....think we can talk them into going to see some hot tattooed rockers that night?  Of Course!  Poor Mitch being under 21 would be designated driver (sorry Mitchell...I love you hon!).  OMG, the alcohol never stopped all night!  Seems I just couldn't stop myself from making sure everyone had enough to drink all night....  I really feel for plight of the starving musician and really glad I gave up that path long, long, long ago....

I thought I had taken more pics that night, but it turns out I really didn't.  :(  I got a bunch of the Tattooed Millionaires, but only one or two of Riot Noise (shame really...I wanted to show off "pretty hair" and the "hot blonde"!).  Aside from a bit of a tearful breakdown courtesy of PMS, alcohol, and miscommunication (sucks really....when I'd gotten over it, I felt like an asshole for sitting there crying and that made me cry again...damn crying is hard to stop when you're drinking!!!  Yeah, Mitch knows this happens to me once in a while!), it was really a kick ass night.  We spent more time with Riot Noise than Tattooed Millionaires (poor things were tired and crashed)...but I will never be one to complain about that...sexy accents abound!  I must say it was quite fun "petting" whomever would allow me to pet them....  those who know me will get this one, the rest of you will just have to nod and smile.  So I'm a sucker for hair...and it must be the kitty in me that just wants to pet those I love (er, lust in some cases!)....whatever....   They probably thought I was completely nuts, but hey, I am, right?

Okay, back to the hotel room and a rough morning....  I'm way too empathic generally, but once drunk the shields don't work as well.  Yeah....that was fun (sarcasm).  Lead me to a crisis of faith a bit....midlife crisis....wow....   Let's just start wondering if my career choice is a mistake and everything I've worked for has lead me down an impossible road.  Thanks to Mitch for being the angel he is and putting up with my crisis.  I guess all the worry, stress, doubt, etc. just all came out after being overwhelmed by other's emotions.  Hey, it happens....I just really need to watch the empathy when drinking....   And think about life...but that's for another blog!  With every up there is a down and roller coasters are part of the emotion of drinking for me many times.  I just feel like a real ass for those wild rides and those I subject to them...  Sorry guys.

But, hey, it was one hell of a weekend and Damn...I can't wait to do this one again....  Thanks muchly goes out to Aimee for introducing me to her boys and one hell of a weekend!!

Okay, time for a good ol' rant...  I just had to block another idiot on messenger because he figured being explicit regarding his member was a good way to endear me to him.  As an addendum, this was a guy that I had only spoken a few words to prior.  Now, I've encountered this wonderful phenomenon over and over again since I decided to throw myself back into the dating pool...now I'm beginning to remember why I gave up dating in the first place!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a far cry from a sexual prude...but what is the deal with guys who feel they need to throw this at you right off the bat??  What happened to getting to know someone?  Is the only thing guys are interested in is cybering??  It's pretty sad if you ask me! 

It just becomes so frustrating that sex is the primary goal of dating.  What happened to romance or intellegent conversation?  Has that become so archaic?  Maybe I should just retire myself from the dating pool once again...it seems to be much more trouble than it's worth...   I'm really beginning to think that there really aren't any decent men out there in this world that are available.  I know that I am rather particular in who I date and maybe I do ask too much in a partner...I suppose intellegence, a sense of humor, open-minded, patient, driven and a somewhat strong personality (not someone who is wishy-washy, but not overly egotystical) are too much to ask in an individual.  I guess I really am looking for my knight to wisk me away...  maybe I should give up the fairy tale, eh?

Quite an interesting article regarding the hype around HPV and cervical cancer...

http://www.newstarget.com/Report_HPV_Vaccine_0.html