http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct2wIB4KAk0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izYIO9VtjUs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMT4m9ee6PE

So here we go kids...shake it loose together.  Another update.  I am still alive...kicking and screaming....the man has never been able to hold me down for too long.  A man, perhaps....but never "the man"...Kill Whitey! 
Don't ask me what I am talking about...there is chex mix all over the place and Mr. Jingles just keeps looking at me like I am supposed to do something about it.  Another part of the clown's brain....deliriously cumbersome....no student...no new chew toy for my bootleg hug and kiss to tear in to ribbons...worst of all...all my fuss and careful obsessing...frivolous...
I lean back into the dim bizarre of my work space...the random crayons and staples mix with peanut flecks, a camera thrown to one side...seem just...i just can't seem to...study taught in this poor reader's paradise and these uncomfortably queer sandals.
Perhaps I just miss him...needing you here to make sense of all the crickets speaking cricktish...

I wonder if it's worth it....as stupid as that may sound.  Usually so care free....I shoved whatever I could find in my bra and laughed my ass all the way to the bank with their hearts bleeding in hand.  Not maliciously mind you....just it amused me.  For so long I was the ugly duckling...and then I bloomed. I hid behind a mask and camera.  Where did all the time go...ticking away, melting into oblivion.  I woke up and realized all I had was a clicking clock and a handful of nothing.  Pretty clothes and no soul....

         ABCDEFGHIJK....WHERETHEHELLISME?
 
I am tired of explaining....so here it is one last time.  I can't make any more sounds.  Soon it will be too late....If you don't believe me...I have concluded no one will.  I am afraid....please find me.  Surely you can hear my heart, feel my soul...it screams for....well...guess. 

Like I have said in a past blog -

"I've got all dressed up on the paralyzed widow with legs... back at jeer...pillow god at, i land....in the world of hands holding and laughter gathering....ask me to stay and I will....yours for the taking...with my bleeding heart fumbles to say something clever...."Something clever"....but that's all that comes out.

I come to you with one heart broken in two, lashed hands, and many flaws.  This reason for being here, this well you've found is phenomenal alone.  In the immortal words of oliver wendell holmes, "a mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimension."  Let the wandering take it all in. Generate, make it yours, my master, my pupil, my equal, drop, decorate, i implore you...

Hating, you give up nothing, love, you give it up all,  so i smirk at all of them while they await my downfall...."

Vanished...that's what the word is about me on the street....It was about a month ago when I was last seen in my norm....

Sometimes life throws us down a path....then, just as I do....that path disappears from beneath the feet....I know I do it from time to time, but I always answer the ringing of the phone beside my head, even whilst I sleep.  All you have to do is call...

However it is those who never answer....and I have no real resolution with...I sit here banging my head against walls....even the words do not flow out so extraordinary as they once did.  Well, I am not one to stand in your way if you wanted to leave....all I wanted was a hug goodbye. 

I am happier alone...pregnant with ideas...rich in love.  Just wait....you will see....

So for those who wish to hear from me....just call.  I am in no mood to chase anyone down anymore.  I am a lazy cat.  Purrrr....

Next one will be more artsy....I am tired at the moment.

So fuckers....call!!!  NOW!!

If the following variables existed in a mathematical equation:

X = The end result in mind
Y = Manifestation
H = Hows (the cursed hows)
A = Action in the general direction of the end result

Please choose the equation that will make the most happen in your life, the fastest, with the least stress:

A. The End Result + Hows + Action = Manifestation
B. Manifestation + The End Result + Action = Hows
C. The End Result + Action = Hows + Manifestation
D. Action + Hows + Manifestation = The End Result
E. Eats Shoots + Leaves = Panda Energy

You may rest your hand

I stand in the sun and don't understand why in the sunshine state I shiver more...the snow was warmer.  I just imagined it was ice cream and everything was better.  Built a fire outside last night to watch my boys pee in it....yea....boys are silly.

I danced too much with Ilea this weekend, my thighs still hurt.  I walk around like a half cripple, I bend backwards and see my world right side up.  About time....don't call me, I'll call you.  That is, unless I gave you permission.  I won't pick up for people who's heads are made of rubber.  Grrrrr.....

You all read but you don't respond.  Seriously. 

Tonight, the hunt begins.  I am a powling unicorn gyspy and I am going to find your ass and stomp it.  I have rested my body just long enough to strain it again.  Now, I just have to shave....the amazon....of me

Please don't let me down....I know it's scary....I scare myself all the time.  I am a wizard...the...hush...awkward hawk-eyed wizard...who's melancholy state of stubborn shows her the hard place up close and conjures a lucid quandary...the dreamiest paranoia.  I don't believe in zeus but i'm scared stiff of clowns....look i'm naked...a wizard...and surely mad.

Ready set...d-y-i-n-g-w-a-t-c-h-b-a-t-t-e-r-i-e-s...give me back, call in sick, drive hours. You owe it to azur.

Yum...a breeze...carry me...i feel like...the other son.  The riddles blend in with the stars in with the crickets stuck in the middle of somewhere...chirping madly...i'll be happier alone...naked where no one can ever find the crickets...