Top ten reasons why you should date a dancer!
1. We know all the positions
2. We have perfect technique, good rhythm, and great hip rotation
3. We're used to having bruises on our knees
4. We're used to performing in minimal amounts of clothing
5. Panties do not get in the way because we don't wear any
6. Straddling is our natural position
7. After a quick intermission we're ready to go at it again
8. We don't mind getting hot and sweaty
9. We're not as delicate and fragile as we look
10. And of course FLEXIBILITY... ohhh the possibilities...
-What more could you ask for?? Tehe 0:)
if your a dancer repost this! hehe
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the MotherShip.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."
Here are some pretty solid reasons why alcohol should be served at work...
It's an incentive to show up.
It leads to more honest communications.
It reduces complaints about low pay.
Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
It encourages car pooling.
Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
It makes fellow employees look better.
It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
Sitting "bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
Not having to worry about your wife being mad when you come home wasted - its your job!
Any sick days taken would be completely genuine.
you can take longer and more frequent bathroom breaks.
1. When u r sad* I will help u plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made u sad
2.When u r happy* I will know u finally got laid
3.When u r blue* I will try to dislodge whatever is choking u
4. When u r scared* I will rag on u bout it every chance i get
5.Wen u r worried* i will tell u horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining
6.When u r confused* I will use little words
7.When u r sick* stay the hell away from me until your good again cause i dont want whatever u have
8.When u fall* i will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath..i pledge it till the end. Y? u may ask because u r my friend. Remember: a good friend will help u move. A really good friend will help u move a body. Let me no if if ever need help. Ill bring the shovel.
Top Ten Ways To Get Rid Of A Telemarketer
10...Yea, I could use a credit card,I just filed for bankruptcy.
9...What are you wearing right now?
8...Im wearing....(Add Lib)
7...How do you spell your name, yourcompany name, any kids...etc...
6...OMG I havent seen you since highschool, (Go on and on)
5...(Screaming) Oh My God I have to go and hang up.....
4...What? What????? I cant hear you.
3...Can you speak very slowly, I have to write it all down....
2...Can you fax this to me, (Give a fake number)
1...Hey, Im under house arrest, couldyou bring me some beer?
ONLY IN AMERICA:
Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America.....do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker ?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! !
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1.
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]
2.
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3.
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that would be how...?]
4.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestions: Defrost." [But it's *just* a suggestion]
5.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". [Oops, too late!]
6.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating. [As sure as night follows the day . . . . .]
7.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". [But wouldn't this save even more time?]
8.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]
9.
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". [One would hope]
10.
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only". [As opposed to what?]
11.
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". [I gotta admit, I'm curious].
12.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]
13.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet,eat nuts." [Step 3: Fly Delta]
14.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
15.
On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". [Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?.....Good grief!]
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
25 tHINGS tHAT wiLL mAKE yOUR pARENTS gO cRAZY aNd mAKe ThEm THinK YoUR sTuPId
- 1. Moo when they say your name...
2. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
3. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...
4. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
5. Try to swim in the floor...
6. Give yourself a swirly...
7. Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!!! it's dying!!!"...
8. Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
9. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
10. Run in circles...
11. Pretend to beat yourself up...
12. Super glue your finger up your nose...
13. Lay face down and chant like an indian tribe...
14. Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!!"...
15. When you shower or bathe yell, "i'm drowning!!!"
16. Follow them around the house everywhere.
17.Run into walls.
18. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
19.Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
20.Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
21. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"
22. Do what they actually tell you.
23. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
24.At everything they say yell, "Liar!"
25.Tap on their door all night.
180 ways to make people mad!
1. Specify dat ur drive-thru order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4. Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound and ask for a date.
13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
36. Wear a lot of cologne.
37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
38. Sing along at the opera.
39. Mow your lawn with scissors.
40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"
41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
51. Practice making fax and modem noises.
52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
55. Disassemble your pen and casually" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
59. Honk and wave to strangers.
60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
61. type only in lowercase.
62. dont use any punctuation either
63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..
66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
67. Drum on every available surface.
68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
69. Set alarms for random times.
70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."
71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
73. Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.
74. Wear your pants backwards.
75. Begin all your sentences with "ohh la la!"
76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
78. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
84. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.
90. Drive half a block.
91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
93. "Forget" the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
97. Ask to "interface" with someone.
98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
101. Never make eye contact.
102. Never break eye contact.
103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.
104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
106. Say "okay, you're right" to anything someone says.
107. As peole talk, smell their shoulders.
108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."
109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"
110. Place your shoes on the table.
111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."
113. Switch your neighbour's lawn furniture with someone else's.
114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.
116. Sample every flavour of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.
117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.
118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.
119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.
120. Wear odd shoes.
121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.
122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
123. Throw stones at people walking past your house.
124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.
126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.
128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2D2.
129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.
130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.
131. Pretend you have gone comopletely deaf.
132. etirW sdrawkcab.
133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.
136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbours ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!
137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.
138. Drive on the wrong side of the road.
139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."
140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.
141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman.
142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.
143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.
144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.
145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.
147. Down a can of Coke in one and then burp loudly.
148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.
149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."
150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.
151. Ride a unicycle to work.
152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows '95 that aren't actually there.
153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
154. Continuously mumble during a conversation.
155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house.
156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.
157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs.
158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.
159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.
160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.
161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.
162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.
163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.
164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaning these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!"
166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Place each one a mile apart on an unlit highway.
167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't recieved enough chocolate sprinkles.
168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut.
169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbour's lawn.
170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the centre of someone's anti-perspirant.
171. Throw an Oh Henry! in a public pool.
172. When at a party with an infant present, ask the parent for a diaper. Prepare the diaper with Nutella, peanut butter, etc. Insert the diaper into the garbage can. Later, reach into the garbage, pull out the diaper, announce, "Hey, look what I found," and chow down!
173. At school, stick "presents" in people's backpacks or purses, such as mud, rocks, sticks, and leaves.
174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's.
175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.
176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.
178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
179. At random times in a conversation, say "hi" "hello Sir, how r u?" or "have a good day thank u"
180.when getting off an elevator,and u see other people waiting to get on,press a whole bunch of level numbers,and then theyll have to wait to get to there perticular floor
Things To Do At Wal-Mart While You Shop
1. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
2. Walk up to an employee and announce in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
3. Put some M&M's on lay away.
4. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
5. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
6. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
7. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
9. Try on all of the clothes over each other.
10. Go in the laundry detergent isle and ask a worker where the laundry detergent is.
11. Have races in the middle of the isles with ur siblings on scooters.
12. Put on hunting equipment and tell people ur searching 4 a run-away alligator from the zoo and its highly dangerous.
8 ways to anoy your sibilings
1} pull hair out of their heads
2}yell im a parana then bite them
3} mimicke everything they say and do
4} poke them and say im not touching u
5}fling cherrios at then and when they fling them back yell mom look what she is doing
6}wreck their room and then show your mom what a mess their room is
7}stare at them with a weird looking face
8}sit in the car sit behind the driver then make your sibiling try to hurt you then screem mom help!!!
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw it. What good is a cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead? When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dorkface, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for? When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know dumbbutt you frigging pulled me over. When people say "Life is short." What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer? When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's one friggin piece of paper! When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here freak! People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently in the
center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad" with the worst premonition, he
opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with
all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.
But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant, and Joan said that we
will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much
older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with
me and that' s now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your son,
Jim
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe
for me to come home.