Here's how you play:

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment (you're it) and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers...:

1: My favourite period of history was the Neolithic age, followed closely by the Bronze age.

2: I like working with my hands, but don't like my hands being dirty.

3: Drew is playing a game called Demon Stone, which we both hate, behind me.

4: I worry too much for being a carefree hippie.

5: I think the female body is more perfect than the male body. I can't form pure emotions for males because of this. I can lust for them, but I can't love them.

6: The only reason I don't keep my hair shaved is because of Madeline.

7: I don't mind listening to music that is emo, as long as it isn't "my heart is broken because a girl I met doesn't like me."

8: When I die, I want one of the people I love to kill me. To make it passionate and full of love.

9: I dislike stringed instruments that aren't played with the fingers.

10: If Madeline decides to nearly stop her eating habits, I am going to as well. I weigh more than she does, so it makes sense that if she diets, I should.


TAGGGGG!

1- Holly G.- Please? I like knowing about you.

2- Kat/Creep - Wanting to know everything there is.

3- Kellee, my lesbian - 'cause you are my lesbian, and I am your dirty vagina.

4- Rogue - Another silly set of questions to follow.

5- Devyn - You're just amazingly silly like that.

6- Crystal - To bite you, or not to bite you. That is the question.

7- Nix'. - Be awesome, for me?

8- Tay - I'd like to know.

9- Sam - Curiousity will do me in.

10- Nycole - More about Nycole is always pleasant.

 My dearest Mad,

   What is it about you that compels me to be so disarmed around you? Not that I don't relish the chance at being at ease for a moment in time, but it is still so strange.. so empty, almost.
 It reminds me of Jasper's story, to be honest. I wonder if he must feel like I do... unable to find a truly peaceful place in his mind that he can finally relax into, or is he always on edge? Even when he seems happy, it feels like he is always ready. Waiting. Prepared... so the happiness seems empty, doesn't it? Just a mask.
 Why all the masks?

   Lots of questions tonight... probably more than you have for me, haha.
   I would like to read Twilight again, I think.  Perhaps I will come to steal it tomorrow.

-------------------------------------------

To whom it may concern,

    If we wanted you to find us, you already would have. Causing trouble in our cities is not the way to obtain the kind of attention you want from us, and following me from the beach to Madeline's is positively begging to be given the wrong kind of attention. 
    You will be notified when we want to speak with you, and you will not find us before then if you want us in a pleasant mood.

 A warning, before I leave.
  If you look at Madeline, I will gouge your eyes from their sockets.
  If you touch Madeline, I will remove each finger one knuckle at a time.
  If you follow Madeline, I will break every bone from your toes to your pelvis.
  And if you so much as think to use her to get to me, to us, you will pray to Isis every night for the rest of your life that it had been THEM who you had provoked instead of me.
   And I will make it a very, very, very long life.

 Is that clear enough for you?
                 -Tao

You all know what its like to be tired, so I don't have to remind you that it sucks.
I've been getting less sleep than usual recently, so I'm even more tired than usual. Which sucks.

 Anyway, moving on.


 I havn't blogged in a while. Honestly, I havn't felt the need to, but tonight for some reason, I feel is the night for a blog. I am trying to figure out what to write about.
 I thought about telling a little anecdote with me in it, the most appealing prospect, but then; Ishara has been acting strange lately, so maybe I could talk about that too.

 She and I have been together a long time now, from the day I was born. Some of you might see that as a long time, others might not, but it certaintly feels that way to me.  Look at me.. complaining of getting old.
 She used to play a far more active role in my life, teaching and protecting me, making sure I made it through to the next day. I am grateful, in some respects, that she took it upon herself to teach me how she did, but then; if she hadn't, I probably wouldn't have been able to make it to this point, so I can't thank her too much.

 A few messages to others.

  Loved your aura at HomeComing, Ellie. Hahaha.
  
 I'm glad you are happy right now, Autumn.

  My Holly rocks, even if she wasn't home when I showed up at her place.

 Mad's Holly is pretty awesome too. Zhaom has filled us with many...warm memories.

 Mad~
   You worry far too much about me. Don't? 
    I miss you. I'm unsure if I'll be able to make it this weekend, but I'll still try. I hope you have a wonderful time, and I hope that your cute, german chick will be there with you.  
   Be safe, okay?


 I'll get back to this blog another time.

I once heard that life begins anew with the red moon. Someone dies, someone is born to take their place and the spirit transfers to the new host.  The life never ended, it just started again.
 There are a lot of ideas about the red moon in legends and stories, I like them all. If you know any, please send me a message. I'd like to hear it.


 You could see Mars today, a fact shadowed slightly by the lunar eclipse and the assumed meteor shower meant to happen Saturday before dawn (keep a lookout).
 
Typing this out under the dim light of tonights moon is strange to me. I am used to writing under moonlight, I'm used to watching her often, to being under her eyes... but tonight's moon is different.

 I'm uneasy tonight, and the last few nights. Probably a few nights after now as well.
 I tried to commit suicide in my sleep. A knife to the inside of my wrist. Woke up with it in my arm, holding it with the other hand. It was... surreal. Like I was watching, but not existing.

 I am... under the influence of this new light, it is effecting everything about me. A bright, full moon turned red, the light of a red planet, the lunar cycle off kilter. I'm very attuned to the moon, and when strange things like this happen, I always end up depressed. Feeling strange. A knot in my stomach, life in tattered tears.

 Something in me -feels- her. Knows her movements, understands her thoughts.  She overrides my basic functions and garbles it up into unintelligible mush.
 I hate it.
 I love it.

 I need it.
 I want it.
 I crave it.


 
 I hope that meteor shower happens like they say it might.

 But then, I hope it doesn't.

 My heart is fragile enough.

My regrets.


 I don't hold on to things like some people do. Regret, anger and other emotions don't tend to stick with me, save for a few. I try my very best to forget about the "what could have beens" and the "what ifs". They don't mean anything now, because they aren't what ended up happening.

 I don't think "What could I have done better", instead I think "What could I do next time?". I try not to think what would have happened if I hadn't asked Her to do what I did, try to think of it as Fate. Doesn't work, really, but I still try.


 Recently I happened across the feeling of regret. For the first time in my life, I found out exactly what that felt like, and I found that I do not like the feeling.
 Since then, I have reevaluated some things and found a few other things that I regret, to a smaller degree. Things I didn't notice before.

 Here they are.

I regret cheating on Sarah the one time I did, without her knowing and consenting to a date. It isn't the act of cheating that I regretted, it was the thought that she wouldn't have understood.  I called her up and told her about it yesterday, even though it happened a while ago. She understood. I knew she would.
 Thank you for your forgiveness.

 I regret not trying harder to acheive my goal, to go to Australia a while to be with my Kat. I think I could have been trying harder, and that if I had, I could have been there by now.
  I am sorry.


 Most of all, though, I regret You. You might not understand who I am talking about, butI think it is for the best.
 I regret telling You the things I have told You. I regret sharing the ideas and emotions that I have. I regret not being there for You when You need me, too.  I regret right now, I could be sleeping at Your side, but I am not.  I regret corrupting You with my foul presence. I regret planting my evil seed inside of You. I regret knowing that I have singlehandedly changed You and the rest of Your life.


 and I regret being me.




 What are some of your regrets? Big or small, leave me a comment and let me know. I'm interested now.

Self hatred.

 It runs deeply inside me. So deep it creates a tight cage of bone around my heart, reaches its icy tendrils through my veins and even sends a violent surge of loathing through to my brain.

 I don't see myself how others see me.

 I see myself as a servant to Her. I am not a free being with my own thoughts and opinions, my own beliefs and life.

 She took all that from me.

 She gave me new ones. She gave me a new mind. A new body. A new personality. A new way of thinking. A new religion... a new -life-.

 And -we- buried the old one.  She didn't want it anymore.

 You don't love -me-. You love Her.  
 You don't want -me-. You want Her.
 You don't enjoy my thoughts. You enjoy Her thoughts.
 You don't think I'm interesting. You think She is interesting.

   You don't want to be part of my life.
  You want to be part of Her's.


 But she is dead.


 So you can't.


 Stop trying to do vicariously through me.
 I am nothing next to Her.
 A fragment of Her glory.


 Don't try to understand. You will fail.
 

                   

 I am leaving in a few days. Between now and the ninth.  
  I won't be back for a while.


 Bye.

I continued wandering aimlessly, all alone
A faint sigh painting a stroke of white
In the ephemeral nature of the changing seasons
Tears overflowed without any reason
"Even now I love you..."

The continually falling sadness changes into pure white snow
Through it all, I raised my head to the sky
Before this body disappears now, if my wish reaches you
Please hold me tight just once more

We didn't understand each other and hurt each other over and over again
Even at those times you were always kind
I cut myself on the suddenly surrendered ring
As our promises to each other were not granted
"Even now I remember..."

The fading memories are too brilliant as always
I wanted to be closer by
We can't meet again but you were always close to hold me up
Just you, don't change yourself

I can't erase those last tears you showed me

Even if I disappear along with this white snow
I want to always bloom in your heart

We held each other close don't forget that warmth
Even if you love someone else
I'll never let go of the sound the last I heard of your voice
I want to fall into a deep sleep
The continually falling sadness changes into pure white snow
Through it all, I raised my head to the sky
Before this body disappears now, if my wish reaches you
Please hold me tight just once more

I heard the voice of the wind
I want to know the rest of the dream
No one will tell me
My chest was smeared red...

I want only you to understand
Why I must return...

Far off in this endlessly continuing white earth
My voice that's crying out can no longer reach anyone

Like it's concealing this body's pains
I'm embraced by kindness from the sky...

The moon reflected in those eyes is pretty
Even as the night is not finished

Far off in this endlessly continuing white earth
My voice that's crying out can no longer reach anyone

Deeply in this endlessly continuing white earth
I'm still falling and cannot be healed by anyone

Like being enveloped in that small body
I'm embraced by the light's kindness...

I lie with the kindness from the sky
And am embraced by the earth's warmth...

A calmed storm which brings the feeling of cleansed earth and air... and the smell of rain.
This world we live in brings the stench of death and a liquid coating of lies, wherin itself causes the unsuspecting to lose themselves in the what has been and the what will be, when all that really matters is the now.
Ironic, isn't it, I speak of now as I read the future?

Prophet