For anyone who has had someone of closeness leave them...and for future loners such as myself.


THE DEPARTURE

....................A fading aroma
kept me bound to the driver’s seat.
How I weep that it slowly leaves me,
descending into the parallels of
lost fragrances.
My memories have come forth to play,
from when She sat in that spot
day after day.
Majestic, amiable being,
She was one who no words
could describe.
She wore a scent of
sweet decadence,
and clothing of appealing pleasure.
Her beauty would light up a room,
merely for its own leisure.
But it was the scent
that stuck to me.
A scent of generosity,
and kindness.
My nostrils have flustered,
with a thriving delight.
The scent could control anyone,
for lust, for bliss, or spite.
She used to accompany
me in the vehicle.
We drove and laughed,
throughout the unexpecting night.
Her company was always a gift,
forever cherished.
My soul felt a completion,
hoping the feeling would never perish.
But a part of me had
become deceased.
I stood with lonesome remorse,
for not adoring Her.
The little time I had,
I was not aware.
Her departure from me,
it’s one that I cannot bear.
As Her disappearance draws
to a close,
my thoughts race,
cleansation hungers.
How will I linger on?
Without Her, I am zero.
She was my true appeal,
and I was Her hero.
But Her lasting scent,
as long as it is alive,
I will not strive to
survive in a world of deprive,
neither myself nor my soul.
She’s a fragment of me,
alive in my thoughts,
wherever She may be.
She is now gone,
forever in the arms of her world.
The scent of Her is reaching
its finale.
Stirring from the passenger’s seat,
I consume Her final existence.
Her comfort, Her devotion,
all has now left me for riddance.

Ugh!

Math sucks, and it is an unpleasant ride of headaches. That's all there is to say about that. If you agree, then you are cool. If you don't, then you're still cool, just a little more respected.

Other things that make you go "Ugh!"

1)People who walk slow in hallways-You just have the urge to say "Get the fuck out of the way", or, "Hurry the fuck up". But most of the time you just have to deal with it. Or you can just plow their fat asses down

2)Customers waving you down from a distance-(Must be in retail or working with customers to understand this one). The laziness of customers who try to flag you down from the distance when you are already in the middle of something. It's an eye rolling experience. Then sarcasm hits in, and your inner smartass says, "You rang your heinous..." while your inner self respect says, "Shoot me in the fuckin' head". You get the point

3)Dumb questions-Oh my lord, talk about getting under your skin An example would be from work. A woman holds up a pink MP3 player and asks me the award winning question..."Is this red? Because it looks like it's pink". *bangs head on desk*

4)People who "talk lyke dis all da time"-Ok, so you must have had SOME course of prior language speaking. Right? RIGHT? Ooooh no, I'm not just talking about messaging, but even in real life. That's right, REAL LIFE. "Scuse meh, where yo bathrooms at eh?" About 10 years past around the corner of your English class. And with a texting source; if you still talk like that in a word processor, just refrain from using spellcheck. Otherwise your computer will explode.

5)People who misquote something popular-Seriously, it really just makes you look retarded. 'Nuff said. If you're going to quote something, get it right. That way, you won't be much of a loser then you already are for actually quoting something (like I do).

Fuck, now I gotta go. My mom wants her room now and is kicking me off. More of "More things that make you go "Ugh!"" coming soon.


Oh yeah!
6)Mom kicking you off the computer-Always at the worst times when you're in the middle of something. Thanks mom


-Damon-

FOREVER, A WHITE WALL



A white wall, forever plain, stands in a lonesome shadow.
Colorless with nothing but white, it remains in blankness with nothing to represent it.
No true colors are present to give it charisma.
Not a hint of red to represent love, anger, or beauty.
No blueness to represent joy, prosperity, or depression.
Not even a touch of light yellow is among it for a view of tempation.
It is only covered by a shadow, preventing exposure of the many colors around.

A white wall is a way we all may feel. We strive for colors as if we strive for a reason. We strive for exposure as if we strive for hope. But for an unfortunate circumstance, we are left as a white wall, with nothing more than a shadow that blinds us. The colors run wild with the many symbols behind them. They have a meaning to us, and we want to have a meaning for ourselves as they paint us with their grace.

I beg of you, give yourself the colors. Give everyone the colors. Don't be a white wall forever. Take all the colors in the world and make a picture.



----------------------------------------
As someone said to me...

"You are no longer a white wall.
I have painted you, so that all the colors I see in you come to life.
....and show that you are more than just a white wall.
You are 1000000 words."



-Damon-

Ok peeps, here are the rules. Post your name in this blog, and I will make a reply with my honest opinion of what I think of you. Be warned, that I will be brutally honest. So if you want to kill some time, post here, and I will tell you exactly what I think about you

-Damon-

One year ago, I met someone who would change my life forever. And I don't regret it one bit. And of course, that person was the best thing that ever happened to me. The wonders of all the people whom you come across, and how much a single person can make such a great impact on you. But for me, it wasn't just an impact...it was a collision and beyond. My best hopes, wishes, and personal love go out to that person. I certainly hope that this one year will turn into many more for us.

-Damon-

    The "L" word. That is one word that can surely go a long way. Who would have known how one simple four letter word could result to so much more? Look at other four letter "L" words such as live, like, late, line, lost, lone, lure, luck. What's the difference between these and the one simple word that we refer to as love?

    With love, it's so powerful that it may take full control of a mind, a body, a soul, and an emotion. Or even all. If it can go so far, then why do we say it? We say it because it is something that we feel in ourselves. Love comes in different forms. There's romantic love, friendship love, sibling love, or as an oxymoron such as "love to hate".

    But its main reason for existence, aside from all of its meanings, is that it comes straight from the heart. Why else would the symbol of love be the heart <3? Anytime it is said, never once does it not come from the heart, no matter what form it is used in. It is a word of importance, because behind that simple word, there comes support, feelings, and/or devotion.

    The way I see it, love isn't said as much as it really should be. Love is a symbol of care, and anyone who loves someone is known to care for another or anyone they wish to care for. Whether you love someone romantically or just in a friendship way, they still give meaning to care. And if you care for someone, then never EVER stop the love. This is the main importance of why you should always say "I love you".

    Putting love together with two other simple words could make it go so far that it skyrockets, more than the word love itself. When those three words are said, it could cause someone's world to stop entirely. At this point, whichever love someone is using shouldn't matter, because when it comes down to it, they still care for someone. Showing they care shows another that they have their support and they have them. It should NEVER stop being said and should ALWAYS be said.. It's a way to be remembered.

    Saying "I love you" may be risky, but how would you ever know when it may be the last time you could ever say it to someone? Even someone you deeply care about? The world is unpredictable. You wouldn't want to get shot and realize, while you're bleeding to death, that the last thing you told your sibling, your son, your daughter, your significant other, your mom, your dad, your friend, or anyone you care about that you're going out to get milk. "I love you" is the one true thing that should be said before any type of departure. And I don't see it enough, and it should be reborn.

    Whenever you drop your kids off at school or you leave for work, please just tell anyone you care for that you love them. It won't take even four seconds out of your life just to let them know. And if you are someone who it is said to, say it back, and don't block it out. Take in the person's feelings and dedication. It's an important word with an even bigger importance when it is said. Don't let it die. Let it live, just like the feeling of it.



We've all given our hearts to someone, or even others. Some still have it. But with giving them your heart, you're giving them you're love. And if it's given to you, never break it. And if you have more of it, then share it.




To every close person in my life and those whom I've known to grow attached to. I love you all

-Damon-

*Note: Due to the heavy rain, Five Finger Death Punch, Airbourne, and Black Tide were forced to cancel their sets*

THE LINEUP
Slipknot
Disturbed
Dragonforce
Mastodon
Machine Head
Underoath
Five Finger Death Punch
Suicide Silence
Walls Of Jericho
36 Crazyfists
The Red Chord


My brother and I got into the gates at around 2 o'clock. By this time, the venue was already starting to pour in with people as they made their way to the two stages, The Hot Topic Stage, and the Jagermeister stage. It wasn't too long until the first band of the day came and took the crowd by a storm...

THE RED CHORD
How they were: The Red Chord started the show with their brutal and punishing riffs and blast beats. The vocalist kept the crowd moving as the guitars and drums played flawlessly throughout their set.
Crowd reaction: The crowd dug them. There were pits, an amazing and HUGE wall of death, and one giant circle pit to top it off.
Rating: 10/10
Setlist-
1)Dread Prevailed
2)Film Critiques For Militia Men
3)Nihilist
4)Lay The Tarp
5)Upper Decker
6)I Dream In Dog Years
7)Black Santa


36 CRAZYFISTS
How they were: Amazing as I expected. Brock and the rest of the band were very energetic as well as the music. They kept the place moving and it didn't stop once. An incredible performance
Crowd reaction: The crowd loved them. The pits were insane, circle pits, lots of crowd surfers, and they topped it off with a "36" chant
Rating: 10/10
Setlist-
1)I'll Go Until My Heart Stops
2)At The End Of August
3)The Heart and the Shape
4)We Gave It Hell
5)Installing The Catheter
6)Elysium
7)The All Night Lights


WALLS OF JERICHO
How they were: Just as I expected, Walls Of Jericho dominated the Jagermeister stage with their aggressive energy. It was rowdy, and very enjoyable for those who watched their set
Crowd reaction: 2 circles pits went off at once and crowd surfers were about. They loved them.
Rating: 9/10
Setlist-
1)Another Day, Another Idiot
2)A Trigger Full Of Promises
3)I Know Hollywood and You Aint' It
4)And The Dead Walk Again
5)Fuck Your American Dream
6)Plastic


SUICIDE SILENCE
How they were: In-fuckin-credible! Totally ripped the place a new a-hole. The music was flawless and the sound was perfect. The stage was pure annihilation during their set. There's just nothing else to say about that.
Crowd reaction: The crowd was into them from beginning to end. Brutal pits, circle pits, and everyone sang along with them.
Rating: 10/10
Setlist-
1)Unanswered
2)The Fallen
3)Hands Of A Killer
4)The Price Of Beauty
5)*new song*
6)Bludgeoned To Death
7)No Pity For A Coward


FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH
How they were: As much as I'd like to say how much I would have liked them, unfortunately, this is the time the rain hit us. And it was sooooo bad that it forced them to cancel their set due to the heavy ammount that swallowed up the pavilion. They only got to play 3 songs, and left many dissapointed for those who came to see them. But for what they delivered, it was good from what I heard. But far too less to call it memorable thanks to mother nature.
Crowd reaction: During the songs, the crowd sang along and had a good size pit going and crowd surfers were doing their thing
Rating:8/10
Setlist-
1)Ashes
2)The Way Of The Fist
3)White Knuckles


MASTODON
How they were: Opening up the Main Stage, Mastodon kept the place alive with their original musicianship and sound. They played flawlessly and smoothly. Truly a wonderful gem of the whole show. I also found Amelia and her friend Sam, and we all rocked out together. It was great
Crowd reaction: The crowd was good. There was a decent pit in the lawn and everyone just looked to be having fun during their set, which is what it was all about
Rating: 9.5/10
Setlist-
1)The Wolf Is Loose
2)Mother Puncher
3)Blood and Thunder
4)Crystal Skull
5)Capillarian Crest
6)Iron Tusk
7)March Of The Fire Ants
8)Naked Burn


UNDEROATH
How they were: Going back to the Hot Topic stage with Amelia and Sam, Underoath played their pulverizing set with lots of energy and melody. Being the underdogs of the festival, they showed what they were truly made of. And it surprised me a lot as I enjoyed their set very much.
Crowd reaction: The pits were surprisingly big, and the crowd surfers were doing their duty again. All in good fun
Rating: 9/10
Setlist-
1)In Regards To Myself
2)It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door
3)Reinventing Your Exit
4)You're Ever So Inviting
5)Writing On The Walls
6)A Moment Suspended In Time


MACHINE HEAD
How they were: Pure annihilation! Astonishing! Brilliant! There aren't even enough words that describe how good they were! They dominated on every level. Anyone who went and saw them would surely understand. And anyone who didn't go, these words will surely MAKE you understand.
Crowd reaction: The crowd was insane. There were FOUR circle pits going off at the same time, and it was utter chaos. However, there was this one fucker who tried to start shit with Amelia and Sam, and that pissed me off and did what I could to prevent anything to happen. But luckily no harm for anyone except for Sam who pulled his foot. But it was all taken care of
Rating: 10/10
Setlist-
1)Clenching The Fists Of Dissent
2)Imperium
3)Halo
4)Aesthetics Of Hate


DRAGONFORCE
*Didn't get to watch them because I was too busy watching Machine Head. They ended during Machine Head's set*


DISTURBED
How they were: By this time I snuck Amelia and Sam up front with me because I didn't want Sam to stand in the lawn with his foot being hurt. But it was fun having them up there because it was a good moment to share with. Disturbed came on with David being wheeled in on a dolly with a Hannibal Lector mask on. Their set was as memorable as the other times I've seen them. Anyone who enjoys Disturbed as much as I do would love their set, and I enjoyed them a lot
Crowd Reaction: The crowd was intense. By the time Disturbed hit the stage the pavilion became pretty much filled. The crowd sang along and kept the energy going
Rating: 9.5/10
Setlist-
1)Perfect Insanity
2)Just Stop
3)Indestructible
4)Stupify
5)The Game
6)Voices
7)Ten Thousand Fists
8)Prayer
9)Inside The Fire
11)Land Of Confusion
12)Down With The Sickness


SLIPKNOT
How they were: Slipknot destroyed the Main Stage with sheer intensity. It was chaos and aggression, nothing else. It's Slipknot, what more do you expect?!?! Incredible performance
Crowd reaction: The crowd, just like Disturbed, was energetic and sang along with their songs. There was also a couple of pits in the lawn that didn't seem to stop.
Rating: 10/10
Setlist-
1)Danger-Keep Away (intro)
2)Surfacing
3)The Blister Exists
4)Get This
5)Before I Forget
6)Disasterpiece
7)Psychosocial
8)Prosthetics
9)Duality
10)The Heretic Anthem
11)People=Shit
12)sic


AMAZING CONCERT! Thanks to everyone who went, all the people I met, and everyone that I got to see and rock out with. What made it truly memorable was all of you! Thank you

I don't know how to start this, but here it goes...I'm sorry for all that has happened. I'm sorry for all that I said. I'm sorry for pressure I probably put on. I'm sorry for making it like this. I'm sorry for...everything. I just have never found someone as special as you. I see a lot in you, a lot that I enjoy. A lot that I love. A lot that can be remembered. You showed me a world that I have never seen, a world that I wanted to remain in. A world that I acknowledged because it showed that there were amazing people in the world such as yourself. But unfortunately I couldn't stay in that world with you, because you want to live your own life. And that I must respect. I just don't want to lose you. Days over days, I was the happiest person ever because it is great having you in my life. Days over days I think about you continuously and always want you to be safe. Days over days you will be remembered by me, because you left a big impact of greatness on my mind that will never lose its vision. I just want you to understand how I feel, because I care for you and always do. I know  you don't want me to, but I want to. That feeling will never die. Please, don't distress yourself by claiming yourself as a bad person. You are not a bad person, and I will never EVER see you as a bad person. You know how to make me happy and how to put a smile on my face. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life. Remember when we said "only 2 years"? Well that first year is almost up. It's already almost May, and just one more year from then will be the 2nd year, the year I can finally go. I can finally have the opportunity to be with you. But I'm sorry things had to turn out this way. I'm sorry for it all. This is coming straight from my heart. But I will never forget all the great things I've been through with you, with talking to you and seeing you. I'll always remember that, and always remember you. Maybe, just maybe, in the future we can give it another try and pick up where we left off 2 weeks ago. Try again and see where it would take us. It's worth a shot. I just want you to know that you still have my heart. It's for you. Just please take care of it. I love you and always will, and no one could make me think otherwise, not even yourself. But I understand your situation in it, and that's why I have to respect it. It's what you want, and I must cooperate, otherwise we both won't be happy. Just don't forget what we had, because it was a special thing. Hopefully we can just try again, sometime. I hope for that. Please, know how much I care for you and how much you mean to me. I love you...always and forever.

 

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted a blog. Since July actually. Things have been going on, some good, and also some bad. Here's my attempted life recap since the last 6 months when my blog was...I've met some great people who are great additions to my life. They're people who I can always depend on with everything, and always be there for them. Then curiosity comes in. Am I certain I'll get the same in return? I don't know. That has always been my answer for that question, and even for lots of other questions. These people have struck me so hard that they made an impact on my life, especially one in particular. It made me feel that everything is worth looking forward to. Then I knew that THEY were the ones to look forward to, because they are so worth it in every way, and I still think that same way about them. They're amazing and always keep me motivated and keeping me going, because I know how well it would be once I can finally be able to be with them. And they even say the same thing to me, how they can't wait until I can be with them too. I couldn't have been anymore happier, just thinking about them all the time, every day, every minute. That's how it has always been. But for the last couple of weeks, I feel like I have grown distant from them. You know that certain feeling you get when you can sense that something is bothering someone, and yet they won't tell you? And what makes it worse, is that you think it has to do with you? For weeks I've been having this feeling, and it's just eating me alive. They say that everything is ok, and that I have nothing to worry about. But really, everything isn't ok and I am still worried. Maybe they just don't want to hurt your feelings. But how can you get anymore hurt when you're hurt enough when they're not talking to you? Now it seems like I've been reduced to nothing. I send them comments, but they just end up deleting it as if they were ashamed of me. You know, if I were to die tomorrow or if the world was suddenly going to end, how much I would give just to be with them. Oh I still remember when we first saw eachother. It's like that moment was meant just for us as everything froze around me when we first laid eyes. That day was full of remembrance, and I always think about that time, every day. I just keep hoping they always think about that day too, because we were extremely happy to be with eachother that day. It wasn't too long ago when I thought everything was ok again, because we were talking like we used to, saying how much we care and how much we mean to eachother. Well just last week, that feeling came back again. And this time, it overpowered me, because it was something I found out on my own which they didn't tell me until I knew I could sense it. I hit rock bottom after that. After everything I did to keep the relationship strong and true, it wasn't happening for me. I kept wondering what I did wrong, and how much I wished to go back in time to fix it and make things better. I kept thinking about all the things I said to them. I never said anything inappropriate to them, or anything unsupportive. All my conversations with them were always about how much I cared and how much they mean to me. Is that something bad to talk about? Or maybe I just say it too much? I don't know. There goes my answer again. But that's just me giving my sense of graditute towards them, there's no harm in that. I say it to them everyday, everytime I talk to them, because I want them to know everyday how much they mean to me and how they're always in my heart. You never know when it's going to be the last time you'll be able to say it to them, because the world is unpredictable. But if anything were to happen, I would just want them to know that I love them. I went to Santa Fe this weekend, just for one reason. Unfortunately for me, my reason didn't come true. But it was understandable, because I've had those same problems that prevented it. I just wanted to see them, so I can work things out and tell them how I felt about them, like I do everyday, but this time in person. I went for a walk in the Santa Fe night last night, thinking about them, wishing they could be there with me. When I got back to my room, I came onto Myspace and saw things that I thought were meant for me, but they weren't. Certain words that mean alot when you say it and when you hear it. But they weren't meant for me. I left Santa Fe and came home. The drive was extremely depressing because my thoughts about them were floating around my head, and they were all good thoughts. I never think about them in a bad thought. All the songs that reminded me of them played on the radio, and I thought about them more. As I type this now, I'm still thinking about them. It's like the Shiny Toy Guns lyrics, "You'll never be alone again. You're more than in my head, you're more." But the truth is, I care about them with all of my heart and would die for them. I love them. I'm crazy about them, I would never forget them. They tell me that they think I'm wasting my time with them and don't know why I feel this way about them. The reason is...because they're worth it. They're the only ones who make me smile and extremely happy and fully alive. I would want them stop for just one minute, and think, "He really loves me." I don't think anyone would love them as much as I do, because I do and always will. My depression is coming from my thoughts, wondering if they feel the same about me, and if they really mean it. Because I mean it everytime I tell them. But do they? I don't know, but I hope they do, and I can only wish for now until I see what happens next. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I tried, I tried for everything. I tried for them. Are they going to read this? I don't know. Are they going to get angry with me if they do read this? I don't know, but I really hope not. I just want them to understand me. I want them to see how much I care for them, and how much I don't want to lose them. I can't live without them. So all those wondering why I've been so depressed these past weeks, here is why. I'm spilling my guts out. I just want them to know that I love them so very much, and I'll always love them. And yes, they are worth it (you know who you are). I couldn't live without them, because they mean so very much to me. I love you (you know who you are), always and forever.

 

-Damon-