time is funny, the way it flies.  i mean sometimes it doesn't fly but it does keep on going, no matter what you are doing.  do we even know if time exsists?  i mean is a common belief, among scientists?  i am not trying to be all philisophical here, i am just asking.  cause i am thinking that somewhere down the line, it was said to me that it's not actually a real concept...just a fake belief, kinda like currency is just based on consumer confidence. 

why is it freezing today?  i can't actually do anything when i am cold.  i know that if i get up and move i will be warmer.  the problem, though, is that i actually cannot even face the wind that moving my arm creates to reach for the blanket across the couch. cannot do it.  also, when i type for a while, my fingers become numb from the cold, why?  they are moving, shouldn't there be more blood supply there?  it was eighty yesterday and i was perfectly happy running around the store, sweating like a mo' fo'.  but nope, not today.  i am only reading under a blanket after my lunch of soup and coffee.  this is why i don't like to shower.  obviously i love the heat of the water, but the sheer thought of stepping out into the cold as the water evaporates off my body, nope...no thank you.  only once a week, thanks.

i don't mind smelling like a human being.

so all is well across the sea to anyone that is wondering.

although i love being cut off from the world, like not having a phone, or any friends besides jamie (which i really don't mind), not really leaving the 2 mile radius of my home most days....at times i start to miss home.

i miss the things that comfort me about america, the comfortableness of not feeling awkard around new people, not being yelled at at work, the food (oh god the food!!), inside jokes, american humor, friends...but then again i think i know why i am here and do love it. 

i love having a mom again, i love snuggling up to my jamie every night, getting my bills paid, the craic, shopping, cooking, and of course nookie. 

ellie, i love you and miss you but you will never be able to please me like he does.  sorry!

so do i leave identifying with my faith completely with a chance of me retreating to it eventually, risk my parents being all mad at, not that i mind cause really what can they do...cut me off? oh yeah, dad has never paid for anything in my life or just try to deal with the fact that i don't agree with what they are trying to teach us, especially our youth. the catholic church's priorities are far from straight, and i am just beginning to set mine, i'll do what's right for katie and just try to be honest and good, if that's not catholic enough for the church, i guess it can decide which faith, if any, i follow.

there is no house of god, it's should be just the sky above us and the dirt we stand on. an enclosure would only limit our beliefs.

finally feeling established as a perfessional. it's so nice. do i really have to go back to school? it was a really nice mothers' day although i do miss mom. oh well, next weekend should be fun. i miss we run on sonar, it's the first weekend in a minth i havn't been with them. keep rockin' guys.

am i fading out too soon? words only got in the way. i will see you in a four days elle. oh and after this morning, i decided kids can sometimes be cute.

Introduction:
Katie was not the only lonely one tonight. As Oliver and Katie were making their short but sad trip home they realised how many people had come and gone out of our lives over the weekend and then it became clear how in love with each other they were.

Chapter 1: Jenni
Friday morning started out like most of them do, but the somewhere on Grand off the 63 A, Katie and Oliver picked up a friend. Her name was Jenni.

Chapter 2. Ellie
As Jenni, Oliver and Katie headed north they discovered another gem. And that's where the fun really began. Oliver wanted to play the Strokes cause he knew it would make them happy but he also did not want to interrupt their conversation so he kept quiet.

Chapter 3: Wisconsin
Ellie likes to make fun of Wisconsin, which she did for four hours but I think there was also a lot of other good conversation such as things they like to flick off on the road and dead animals outside Oakdale. Oliver was laughing most of the time. He stayed quite entertainted.

Chapter 4: Evan
Geno's got the travelers the hookup with some Leinie's Red, also Oliver was able to rest for a while. After an hour and some good beer and full tummies, Oliver, Jenni, Ellie and Katie headed to Syd and Marty's for another good looking soul, that's soul's name was Evan. Oliver was happy to see Evan again, like the rest of them.

Chapter 5: Amber in Lisle
Oliver was almost confused when yet another person decided to join in on the fun, her name was Amber but little did Oliver know that things were about to change slightly. Evan was now in the drivers' seat, and since Evan is not the greatest driver, the ride became a little bumpy. No worries, Evan finally got the hang of it and things were smooth sailing once again.

Chapter 6: Where is Katie and friends?
After the five of them arrived on Sat night, Oliver was not paid attention to until Monday morning. He had a nice slumber, however. Had they forgotten about him, goodness no he thought. When he started to go again, he was certainly releived but things seemed a little different, a lighter load perhaps? Yes, something was surely different he thought to himself. Jenni was gone, could it be? Yes, and Evan and Amber. Oliver was sad, he was having so much fun. In the end he decided it was okay cause Katie and Ellie were certainly giggling enought to put a smile on his face.

Chapter 7: And Then There Were Two.
Oliver could feel something was about to happen yet again when he felt himself climbing up the state on 35. He encountered some hard rain and a nice rainbow. But the clouds drew dark again when he felt the missing presence of his dear friend, Ellie. Going south again he felt Kate's tear's drip onto his grey seats. He felt sorry for her and wanted to play her some music but knew it wold only make her sadder to hear her and Ellie's most favorite songs of all time. Oliver just said he loved her and that everything was going to be okay. She was comforted and secure.

my brother pat who is now non exsitant to me has been removed from my top 8. evan has been replaced by his band and since i haven't seen amy since well almost a year ago, carrie is my new girl. am i really writing about changing my top 8, who am i?


i had someting good to say, but i forgot.

well all i can say is that i had an amazing weekend and for the first time i didn't cry when something really good ended, even though i know such an event will never be as fun. i lie-i am always fun. i think i have become numb to all bad emotion. i am really starting to enjoy me for me, and i have really stopped caring what everybody else thinks for real, this time. never thought id be here. it feels good.

midge and i went to a movie, i think i will be pondering its entire meaning for a good few days. friends with money.

just had a really nice conversation, i really like my new friend. hes funny.

i have just realised how long it's been since i have had good ice cream. the stuff really keeps me going. i had a bite of cinnamon ice cream at the rosedale mall yesterday, maybe that's why i am thinking about it.

so when i got home this evening, well this morning after midnight i guess, i decided to sit by the fire and have a nice chat with my lovely father. it always turns into politics, always. although i must admit that we are very good at respecting one another's views. he really thinks that i have been taught all wrong to think that i believe that abortion is not murder, he says hell pray for me. i think it all goes back to education in the home and i reminded him that i never had "the talk". he defended birth control and sex right after condeming them, and proceeded to reverse it once more. it spiraled into gun control, economics and euthenasia, he supported pain control in a hospital setting with more and more morphine. why again do heroin adicts shoot, isn't it to numb some sort of pain. i mean i am by no means an expert but its the same concept. i reminded him that we are in fact not a Christian nation, although there are quams about that. and it ended with my love for potheads (yes you evan) that just want to sit on the couch and not hurt anyone, just to smoke life away billowing and that alcoholics tend to drive places, become violent or just plain stupid and end up hurting at least someone in their unpreventable path. and according to him, st kates is not a catholic college, despite all the work that our nuns do for social justice and peace.

so i was cooking for stewart tonight and he played me his most recent song, lovelt actually. secretly i hope its about me, he he. anyway, he commented on it only being like a three chord song and then i told him that lou reed only knew how to play like four chords and then he proceeded to play all these lou reed songs, including satellite of love, while i sang them. gosh, he really rocks my world!