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Well for those of you who don't already know....  I have been going through the stresses of my mother being in the hospital.  She has been in since September 24th.

I have been so busy trying to raise my family and take care of my mother and her needs on top of all of it.  I commend those people who are able to step up and do all of this without stressing out over it. 

I myself before this was super busy trying to help out a dear friend get a good gig lined up for a CD Release show, and have now unfortunately had to put that on the back burner because of everything I have been taking care of for my mother.

My mother had a problem with her foot, which has now ended in her loosing her big toe and the entire bone that goes down into her foot from that toe.  They are struggling to save the rest of her foot.

We found that while she has been admitted that she has Type 2 Diabetes and this is what most likely caused the whole thing in the first place.  While in, she is now going through acute renal failure (kidney dialisis) and they have now found a 6 inch blockage in her femeral artery in her leg that was causing the foot not to heal after the surgery.  She has now had an operation to fix this and we are crossing our fingers that this will help.

She was moved to a therapy place last Saturday and that is costing $500 a day plus Medication costs and Transport twice a day to and from the hospital so that she can go do the Hyper Barric Chamber to help promote healing.  I am dreading these bills once they start coming in.  I think she is easily going to be over $60,000.00 when all is said and done.  But it will probably be more.

Tonight I was down to see her and noticed that her foot is starting to look really, really bad again.  So she may end up having to have yet another surgery.  This would be her 7th surgery yet.

I guess when it rains it pours eh?  I am just hoping that they are going to be able to save her foot in some manner.  I will keep everyone posted on what is going on with her.

Below are some pictures from everything she has gone through.  I hope you guys have a strong stomach.

Her toe the night she was admitted.

One week later when toe was removed.  Here you can still see the bone sticking out.  The wound was left open to see if the bone had been affected.  I just happened to be there between dressing changes to catch this next photo.

This next picture is taken after the surgery to remove the bone that was attached to the toe that runs down the foot.  There is a black sponge in her foot with a wound vacume in it.  That's just something that sucks out all the nasty shit.

My mother has a descent Health Insurance but after all the time in the hospital and all the procedures, she is going to be up to her neck in bills.

Someone mentioned to me about a Hardship Claim, does anyone out there know anything about that stuff?

Well this is going to be a super depressing day for me.... 

One of my best friends passed away a year ago today.  So I am feeling down in the dumps and wishing to hear her laugh just one more time.

Shere Lea Brees 1971 - 2006

I am sure my friends Tom, Malania & Eric whom were all close with her are going to be sad today.  Oh yes and Keith too, even though you two were not chummy in the end.

She was a beautiful person who loved life, friends and art.  She will be greatly missed and remembered today by many people.

I know it will be a day of listening to Concrete Blonde and The Damned in memory of her.  I've already been playing "Rain" by Concrete Blonde about a jillion times.

I miss her so much!

So, last night we went to The Sets in Tempe to go see Voltaire, A Rebours and Reliquary.  I must say that this show was probably my favorite show that I have been to in years.

First up was Reliquary.  The always put on a good show and last night they did just that.  We also got to hear a new song from their new album that they are currently working on in the studio.  They also had huge news for everyone last night.  They will be playing Convergence pre-show and that they were invited to play Wave Gotik Treffen in Germany which is the biggest fricken Goth festival ever!

Second in line was A Rebours.  Ian is an amazing musician, god that guy can play guitar so fucking well.  If you like excentric, romantic music, he's your man.  His show was amazing and sounded so good even without getting a sound check.  I think you got hosed Ian.  But who cares, you rocked! Make sure any of you out there that read this blog, go check out A Rebours and Add them.  I am dying for Ian's album to come out, hopefully we won't have to wait too long.  I took tons of pictures of Ian from the show, and here is one of Ian pouring his heart out.

Up last of course was Voltaire!  As Ian says Voltaire is the Gothfather.  This was Voltaire's first ever show in Arizona.  Voltaire had the entire crowd laughing from the moment he walked on stage.  We even got the privelege of being the first crowd to hear a brand spankin new song, it was soo good.  I must say I could watch Voltaire for hours and never get tired of hearing him.  He has such an amazing personality, oh and not to mention he exudes sexiness.  He played everything I wanted to hear plus some.  I hope he comes back and visits us all in AZ again.  Here's a picture of Voltaire and that winning smile.

We had a great weekend!  Marcus, Justin and I went to Chaser's on Saturday night to see a few bands play.  Playing that night was:  The Elders UK, Audra, And The Captives & France vs. France.

The Elders UK were pretty good.  They are a cover band and did old tunes by bands such as Echo & The Bunnymen, The Mighty Lemon Drops, General Public, Elvis Presley, Lynard Skynard & Pink Floyd. 

Audra was up next. If you ever have a chance to check out one of their shows, do so.  They are always wonderful live.  They played several of my favorite tunes and even asked if anyone had any requests.  I wanted them to do "Bela Lugosi's Dead".  I have heard them do an awesome cover of this song live previously. 
You can check them out at: http://www.myspace.com/audra

The Captives were up next.  I have known Tom since he was a wee boi.  He is an ex-boyfriend of mine & we were together for 4 years.  I met him when he was 16 and I was 20 (damn I'm getting old!)  We are still great friends.  The Captives played a wonderful set.  They played 10 songs which 2 of them were new songs from their upcoming CD.  Unfortunately I only got to hear about 6 or 7 of their tunes.  I did hear 1 of the new songs and I thought it was awesome!  Check my calendar for more upcoming shows for them.  They put on a great live show. 
You can check them out at: http://www.myspace.com/thecaptives

Here are a few pictures from that night:






Here's Tom and I from back in the day!

I also ran across a friend of mine that I haven't seen in about a year or so.  Arron from Second Skin, he is such a sweetheart!  The last time I saw them was at The Brickhouse in Phoenix.  They had a show with Reliquary & Audra sometime in 2005.  I have known Arron for ages too.  I met him back in the day (early 90's) when Second Skin was just starting up.  Just after the demise of Flesh of My Flesh.  Too bad they weren't playing too.  They put on a friggin amazing show!  Flesh of My Flesh can be found on a Sisters of Mercy tribute CD doing "Marian".  It is an awesome cover.  Pick it up if you can.  Also check out Second Skin's 2 available CD's.
You can check them out at: www.myspace.com/scndskin.com

Here's a picture of Arron and I:


I know, I know.... I just plugged everyone's band, but Hell, they are all good.  We missed out on hearing France vs. France's debut, since we had to get home to our two little monsters.  All in all it was a good night.

Rest In Peace

Debbie Joh Kingan (Woodward)

April 7, 1969 - December 12, 2005

I found out today that a very dear friend of mine had passed away.  Debbie has had Diabetes as long as I have known her and has had problems with it over her life.  She has suffered a couple of strokes over the past few years and her kidneys were also failing.  She left this world in her sleep sometime in the morning hours of December 12th, her body was no longer able to hold her beautiful spirit.

We will all miss you dearly Shasta Pink Dolly.

Sherry Lea Brees
July 12, 1971 - August 23, 2006

I found out last Wednesday that a very close friend of mine passed away.  Her name was Sherry Lea Brees and if you knew me and hung out with me, you probably knew her too.  She was only 35 years old.
She was a beautiful person, full of life and she was also an amazing artist.  I hope that her family is able to do something with all the art that is in her apartment.
Her memorial service was held on Monday, August 28th at North Valley Baptist Church.  People in attendance were her family (aunts, uncles, mother, sister, step father, etc.), Myself, my husband and 2 kids, Tom Laman, Malania, Bret Helm & girlfriend, Tara Martin, Florance, Jay & Christa and a few other people.
After much talking with Tom after the service we came to the conclusion that we both felt as though she was not memorialized properly.  First of all, she hated church and told us often that she only had to go to church as punishment.  Also, the preacher/minister gave some horrible sermon about SIN of all things and in the only way he talked some babble trying to associate he life with god, about how she took broken down items and made them beautiful with her art/talent.  Sherry was NOT a religous person and would have totally laughed at this service.
Tom if you read this, I think we should have a party/memorial and get some friends together to talk about the REAL Sherry, not the Sherry that her family tried to make her in the end.
Sherry I will miss you so much as will many other people out there whom lives you touched.  Tom, we will get through this by remembering all of the good times that we spent with her over the last 15+ years.
On another note, I have taken in her kitty cat whom is going on 10 years old (people years).  Please see my bulletin that I will repost a few times to help her kitty find a new home.
This is now the 2nd very close friend that I have lost in less than a year.

Today I went to visit a very dear friends grave site for the first time.  She was burried only one week ago today.  I met up with an old friend of mine Tom Laman who also knew Debbie.  I had notified him of her passing the day prior, but he had just gotten the message today.  He has known her as long as me. Debbie and I met him on the same night, she got to know Tom through me after that as Tom and I were together for 4 years from that night.

Tom and I along with my 2 little girls made the trek across town out to Resthaven Cemetery where she was laid to rest. There was no marker for her yet and we had to check with the office to find her spot.  But once we were in the area I knew which one was hers right away, because there was a Pink Barbie Christmas Tree on her grave.  She was a huge Barbie collector along with her daughter Chanel.

I have known for a few days that she was gone, but actually being there made it so real and final.  I felt like I wanted to burst into tears, but held it together because I didn't want to lose it with my children present.

Tom took a Love and Rockets shirt from the first night we all met that he had on and we laid it on her grave.  I was told by another close friend of Debbie's that she was burried in her Love and Rockets jacket.  If you've ever met Debbie, you would know that was her favorite band ever.  She was a huge Daniel Ash fan.  He was her "Pineapple God".

Well my final note is live life to the fullest and tell your family and friends you love and appreciate them becuase anyone can leave you forever when least expected.

Goodbye is forever!