you
the one who watches me
from afar
pretending someone else's name
pretending not to care
this message is for you
because i care
because i know
because i know what you are telling them
twisting the truth
refusing to admit acts of irrationality
blaming others for things only you do
it is so much easier to make people your demon, isn't it?
it is so much easier to pretend that people don't understand you
that people hurt you
that no one loves as deeply
or as much as you
but i know you
at least i know all i can about you
because you are an alcoholic
alcohol is your demon
not me
not your brother
not any other made up monster
because of alcohol, you lie
to yourself and those around you
because of alcohol you pretend that it's your caring that pushes people away
that people just can't handle you
and you are right.
because if to care means projecting your illness onto other people, then i'm pushed away
if your caring causes call after call and accusation after accusation
then, i'm pushed away
and i can't handle you
your projection of your problems is masking your attempt at possession
possession of me
you mistake others for having the problem you consistently deny
one could call it anger issues
which is undeniably true
one could call it insecurity
well of course
one could say you are a liar
because in fact when you say that you aren't drinking and it is on your breath, you are one
but under the term alcoholic all of these traits are contained and more.
so for the sake of time, let's just call it what it is:
the killer of all that is good in you
and all that is good in your life
alcoholism is your demon
not me
not your family
not a ghost of a loved one
it's the all consuming
ever sacraficing addiction
that twists your brain
and breaks your heart
alcohol, my friend
is your poison
and until you admit and change
who you REALLY are will never be loved
because you yourself will never know that person
never share that person
never love that person
because he will be hidden under the deceit and seduction
of addiction