bored, bored, bored...

I'm bored.

I should write song lyrics.

The Oscars are fucking stupid.

No way was Crash the best movie of the year...the gay cowboy movie was better than that.

Of course next year it'll all be about me winning for best documentary. Then I'll slap Crissy's ass on the red carpet.

bitches.

The first NASP Staredown event of 2006 is quickly approaching and I've decided that I'm not going to be there. I think I've decided to end my Staredown career and my focus my time on something new. Over the last year or so the thought of returning to Demolition derby has been troubling me. It's just something I feel like I need to do. Therefore, I've decided to walk away from Staredown and get ready for the Contra Costa demolition derby coming up. So this will probabaly be one of my last posts about Staredown (except when the movie comes out of course). Thank you to everyone who made my run in this sport possible and fuck you Patterson for being the ass clown that you are.

So the other day the GF dragged me to see Brokeback Mountain and I'm not going to lie, I thought it was pretty good. Normally, I'm not one who really enjoys gay cowboy movies, but I thought this one was pretty good. Although I will say some of the scenes made me pretty damn uncomfortable. But the thing I kept thinking about was how do those guys do that. I mean those two guys - two actors who could get just about any piece of tail they wanted - agree to play tickle with each other in front of the the whole damn world. That must have been the most uncomfortable set of all time. Blogging is really sort of stupid. I mean no one's life is really that interesting that it deserves and article everyday. I have no idea what I'd talk about if I wrote in this thing every day. What do other people talk about, what they had for dinner, movies they've seen...oh wait I just did that. Never mind, I love blogging.

Jesus, what a piece of garbage that was. I was more interested in the episode of Grey's Anatomy that came on after the game instead of the miserable, terrible, pathatic excuse for a football game. The commercials weren't that great either. I liked the Hummer and the Bud Light ones, but that was about it. Does the tagline for that monster energy drink "16oz of Raw" creep anyone else out. Seriously, it sounds like the name of a gay porn movie.

For some reason, I've lately gotten on the kick of giving up Staredown and going back to the demolition derby.

I'm not exactly sure why, I just feel like it's something I need to do.

stay tuned.

Also keep a look out for my movie...I'm not sure when it's going to be out but it should be sometime soon.

I saw the other day on Patterson’s website that he has a Q&A section. And after reading all the answers I’ve determined them all to be false. The following answers are the true answers to those hard hitting questions: Q: What do you love about Staredown? A: The fact that I can stare at other guys and get away with it. Q: What's your greatest strength? A: The fact that I can continually molest squirrels and get away with it. Q: What book are you reading right now? A: I can't read. Q: What's your dream staredown opponent? A: I don’t really have a dream opponent, but I do have a nightmare opponent. It’s Philip J. Rockhammer. You don’t want to mess with that guy, he’s one bad mother. Q: Where do you see yourself in five years? A: In jail for either date rape or animal abuse, I hear they let you off with fine for that one though. Q: Who’s your favorite superhero? A: Philip J. Rockhammer. He’s been a hero of mine for a while now. Q: What’s your favorite quote? A: I already told you I can’t read.

I think a name has been picked for the movie that is being made about me.

I think JR McCord, the director, has decided it should be:

"Unflinching Triumph: The Philip Rockhammer Story"

Pretty cool, huh?

I AM THE 2005 NASP NATIONAL STAREDOWN CHAMPION! Last night I got a call from Ernie Armstrong offically naming me the 2005 champion. I would say I respect my opponent and it was a hard fought match, but Tony Patterson sucks ass and I hope he gets hit by a bus.

IT WAS EPIC!!!!!! Sorry for the late posting, but our trip home got delayed due to the fact that I was in jail. That’s right jail. It was such an amazing weekend though, I barely know where to start. For those Staredown fans out there who missed it, I feel sorry for you. The drive down was somewhat interesting, but there are so many other things to talk about, I’ll just skip to the good stuff. So after beating TJ in the semi-finals, the finals set for me and who else, Patterson. So were all there getting ready, the music was blasting over the loudspeaker and the shit was about to go down. We were just about to be announced to get into the ring when all the sudden the music cuts off and the hotel manager is there saying we need to vacate the room because of a wedding reception. No I’m not lying, right before the championship match was about to start, WE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE HOTEL. It was crazy. So instead of postponing the match, it was decided to move the venue to the parking lot. And that’s when the real madness started. So now there’s all these people out in the parking lot and we get the ring set up and everything and start the match. All the while car horns are blaring and people are yelling at us to get out of the way. So I guess some one called the cops because I heard someone yell “COPS” and everyone just scattered. Everyone that is except for Patterson and I. We weren’t going anyway. A fucking tornado could have ripped through there and we wouldn’t have moved. It was insanely intense. Both of us we just locked in the zone and neither one of us wanted to lose. I’ve never been in a match like that one. So then the cops come in and try and break us up, but guess what, pig, we’re not going anywhere. Since we wouldn’t move the cops decided to arrest us. But even while we were getting cuffed and put into the cop car our eyes stayed locked. It was awesome. I know Patterson is going to deny this, but about halfway through the ride in the cop car he blinked. That’s right he blinked. (Apparently there is a police video from inside the car to prove this, but more on that later.) So yes, folks, you heard it here first: PHILIP J. ROCKHAMMER is the 2005 National Staredown Champion.