http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids....

I cant wait!

Today I went through my email trashing what I didnt need and came across many letters from Kathy Fiday, the woman I just recently lost. Between the tears and smiles that came with reading her words, I came across something just so beautiful... I think she would want me to share this...Especially since it is about you.

(excerpt from a letter from kathy)

"I also want to tell you about a girl named Ashley Watters. She responds on your blogs. Adri, when she sold her house a bit back, she sent me $500! I was SHOCKED! Very sweet and kind person. I just got email today she sent $200! I have had donations on paypal here and there because of you and Georgyne too. Even $1 I make sure I thank everyone of them. But I want you to know about this Ashley, she doesnt know me and has never met me but yet she is so kind. All of your myspace friends have been so kind. Words and prayers are just as meaningful to me. But once again, THANK YOU for all your help. I wouldnt be living here if it wasnt for you and your friends. I might have cancer but I feel like the luckiest girl in the world with all the support I get. Thank you for mentioning me on your blogs, I love the kind words from people. But I love you more!! Pray Adri and ask your friends to keep it up as well. They have been pulling for me so hard and I need them to keep it up. Thank you for all your help through all of this and for being like the daughter I never had. I love you!

XXOO Kathy"


THAT was VERY hard to share, but I know she would have wanted me to do it. She was just so damn grateful for all you guys did for her. Every time I spoke to her she would mention emails she received, donations...love. My heart feels like it might burst knowing that many of you were willing to extend your hand to someone who was suffering, someone you didn't even know. THAT is real karma, THAT is what makes life so fucking beautiful. Ashley, if you still read my blogs, YOU are an angel....an absolute angel on earth. Makes sense you would do so much for another of your kind.


I love you guys, thank you.

As many of you know, I and my family and friends just lost someone very close to us. It has been a long and difficult 5 years to watch someone I love suffer and struggle with the ugliness that is cancer.  The night of November 20th, I was outside on my balcony having a cigarette before I went to bed. It was cold out and very windy, so I was hugging my knees to my chest to try to keep warm. The new moon was sparkling  above the loud and angry sea. It had been a difficult few days, because I knew then that my Mom's BFF Kathy was not well. I hadn't been sleeping well and had been in a very trying state of mind.

As I looked at the sea in the moonlight, an overwhelming sense of calmness took over me. It was as if the wind had stopped blowing and the temperature had started to rise enough to bring me comfort. I began to feel goosebumps spread over my flesh and my brain suddenly felt incredibly alert.I couldn't even focus on the noise from the waves crashing, it was as if time had ceased and the whole world was on pause. Then, I felt her. It was almost as if Kathy had sat down right next to me. I could feel her with every sense my body was capable of sensing. Normally, anything paranormal sends me running to the hills screaming like a little pussy. However, I felt completely calm. It was as if I had taken a chill pill. I sat there in my heightened state of feeling when all the sudden I just knew....Kathy was going to die.

I couldn't feel angry or sad, I knew someone I loved was dying or dead, yet I was completely calm. If love,understanding and compassion could be pumped into the air for us to breathe, I was experiencing it. Every time I felt as if I would begin to cry a new wave of comfort seemed to wash over me. Quitting smoking and convincing my Mother to join me suddenly became the only thought I was capable of thinking of. It wasn't tilll I verbally said I would quit that I felt I was free to let my mind wander from the thought. I put out my cigarette and stood up. My legs were wobbly and I felt like I was on a drop on a roller coaster. My stomach seemed to be floating.

Then I began to think about all the fundraising I did for Kathy. I felt overcome with guilt for not having done more. Immediately upon thinking that thought I felt that sense of calmness again. I just knew I had done more than could have ever been expected of me, and that she was grateful for it. I tried to focus on feeling guilty again and just as before, it was pushed down by the calmness that seemed to take over my entire being. Her feeling of gratefulness was so strong in the air I almost couldnt breathe. I began to talk out load and tell her how much I love her, how grateful I was for 27 years of great memories, for her sons who are like family to me, and for teaching me what really matters in life through her fight. At this point, I had finally started to cry, but just leaky tears. Whatever was there with me was going to leave, I just felt it. "Goodbye Kathy, I don't want you to suffer anymore". Was the last thing I said. Again, I KNEW the answer as if she was speaking it to me. She wasn't going to.

Then I was alone. It was cold again, I could hear the sea crashing on the shore. Pain began to feel as if it were going to explode out of me. But then it just stopped. I felt calm again. I walked back into my house from the bedroom balcony, took off my clothes and laid down. I fell asleep immediately. The next day I got the call that she had passed away. However, my Mom had a very similar story. Only 2 hours before my experience my Mom had a very vivid dream of Kathy coming to see her. Kathy told my Mom that the Dr's said she is dying. It was so vivid, she woke up and emailed Kathy. It turns out Kathy had taken a major turn for the worse almost the MOMENT my Mother had sent the email.

Before the wake and funeral, my Mom had a gathering of some old friends of theirs at our house. During the evening, Janie, (Kathy and my Mom's friend from high school) told us about a very similar experience she had to my own and my mothers. She had woke up and was lying in bed and felt like Kathy was there.

For a few years now I have questioned the existence of anything after this life. I always had the horrible feeling that when we die, we just winked out into nothingness. I KNOW this isnt true. I cannot explain well what I felt, but I can still feel it. It was her. No one can ever tell me different. I am not going to jump on the bible train, because I still believe the bible was written by a bunch of primitive sexist tool bags that never knew a damn thing about God. However, I know there is more than this, and that is the most comforting thought I have had in many, many years. Kathy gave me many things throughout my entire life, but the gift of knowing something bigger than all of this exists outside this plain is the most priceless yet, and also my very last from her. Spiritual Enlightenment is the gift that keeps on giving.

On a side note, my Medium friend Allison Dubois predicted to a T everything that would happen with Kathy, down to the day she died. I am tired of denying that which is right in front of my face....

She would want me to thank all of you who donated money to help her out with her bills through all the fundraisers and online begging I did.(She NEVER asked me to...not ONCE) I know she was still trying to reply to everyone herself...she used to tell me how terrible she felt that she was having trouble doing it. And the people who did get responses always came back to me telling me what an angel she was......a living breathing angel.

You guys, I want to thank you as well.....I don't even know what to say...But that's just it, isn't it? Sometimes you don't need to say things. Sometimes people can just feel exactly what your heart wants to express due to the enormity of the emotion you feel. SO I will fall into silence, and you will know the depths of thankfulness and grief that threaten to fill my heart.

sorry for the silence....heavy times I promise to write soon. In the meantime, pray for, send positive vibes to, ANYTHING you can do for my Moms BFF Kathy...now more than ever...

Been too emotional over the past few weeks to do much of anything other than work my ass off. Now? I just want to play World Of Warcraft and run around with my Warcraft pimp ...yes, I am totally owned on WoW. At least my Pimp doesnt beat me, always resurrects me if I die, and lavishes me with armor and leveling. Could be worse. He could make me work the corner in Stormwind City ; ) If he weren't a level 80, I'd claim him as my bitch, that's how good my pimp is to me. lmfao


I'll be back soon.



Read this shit! I couldnt be happier, cant believe I made that site! ; )

I will no longer accept requests from bands or rap artists. All they do is spam the shit out of my comments. ANYONE advertising their wares on my comments WILL be blocked, no questions asked. I dont leave comments on your pages advertising myself, I would appreciate the favor in return.

Blockity Block!


I like REAL people anyway, not spam robots telling me to download some mp3  ;)

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feel free to leave your thoughts on this blog either here or at dailybuds!

A while ago I did an Obama photoshop game on my blog. My friends photoshopped me into the funniest Obama pics of all time. Now I ask for a new game to start...

I want to see you guys photoshop me into your favorite comics and or movies. Want to make me Darth Adri? Maybe a Jedi Knight? Love the movie Labyrinth and want to shove me in it? Watchmen/Batman/X-man fan? Lets see you guys get hot, sexy, funny, and sometimes a little bit mean ; ) Show me the best you got and post the pic into your comment so everyone in the blog can see your work


-Adri

ps-I'll post all the amazing ones in an album on my myspace

CLICK HERE TO SEE ME AS SLAVE LEIA, SILK SPECTER, AND WONDER WOMAN

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