Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 19
Sign: Virgo
City: Yakima
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/13/2005
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April 12, 2009 - Sunday
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I have one now. It's one of those things.... I bought it and installed it today. It was simple and cost me about $80. But I have a problem. Not having a network made me want to get out more (so that I could get in the internet), and made me have to go downstairs to use the compy.... Now that I have a network, I don't really ever have to leave my room. Ever. This is an issue I have with society. We make everything too easy on ourselves. I first noticed it when I would spend hours downloading songs my freshman year. It took 20 to 40 minutes for one mp3, and it allowed me alot of talk time on AIM and I coud even do homework while they downloaded. My source was either mySpace or Altavista, which meants I actually had to look for mp3s that I wanted. The search was half the fun. Then we got broadband, and downlowding was nearly as social or productive as it used to be. Then MySpace decided to be efficient, so I didn't really have to look for music. Now torrents and Rhapsody take all the fun at all out of looking for more music. I mean, once you have an entire database of songs available to download from the same place, what's the point of collecting songs? So now I won't be going to Northtown nearly as often, which is good for my wallet I guess, but I won't get as much social interaction, since now I'll only go if I get an invitation. Modern technology is great in that it solves monotonous tasks in life, but once they're gone you realize how much the monotonous tasks were a necessary part of your life. I still wish I was born in the 1920s.
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April 3, 2009 - Friday
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She's released her first solo CD. http://www.caroljantsch.com/purchase_cascades.htmlI think someone should buy it for me cuz I have no money and no wallet. I'd like to know what I could sound like if I had lived in the right circumstances. Tuba at the age of 9, Interlochen Arts Academy, 4 internationsl solo competitions.... Tracks: Piazzolla: Suite for Two Guitars Chiayu: Reverie and Pursuit Vizzuti: Cascades Shostakovich: Adagio Milaud: Saramouche Penderecki: Capriccio Khachaturian: Violin Concerto in Dm Clarinet Polka! I'd really appreciate it and I'd of course accept an mp3 version or be willing to make one.
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March 21, 2009 - Saturday
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As I approach college age, my life in making an inextricable shift toward Facebook. It really makes no rational sense, as I still MySpace does the whole social networking thing better. Or at least did. Here, I had a paragraph written, but a list would be better:
MySpace
Blogs offer statistics, and better viewing history
Pictures – More room, easier viewing format
People – mostly teenagers and bands
Comments aren’t as streamlined as the Wall
Bulletin board is still awesome
Has no IM
Profiles themselves are more user friendly
Apps are either ripped off of Facebook, or are the same app, only accessible from both networks.
Is more centered around the profiles and interaction at least used to be through the profiles.
Facebook
Notes allow you to see all your friends’ notes on one place
Pictures – better tagging engine
People – friends and many professionals, less bands and the like; profiles are for individuals
Wall beats Comments
Has no bulletin equivalent
IM is functional
Profiles themselves are a bit confusing
Apps are interesting
Is more centered on other people, regardless of who they are, as long as they’re on or interacting with someone on your friends list. Interaction is generally to a person, with all interactions more or less mashed together.
Anyway, I don’t really think that any of these services are better… Actually, I think MySpace is a little better, but each ‘improvement’ to MySpace thins the line. But more things seems to be going on with Facebook, and the things that do go on, you know about. With MySpace all you really see is status changes and bulletins and the little subscription things. On Facebook, you see, and can comment on, EVERYTHING.
I think I’m going to start making the transition. I think I have already started.
Well, that’s all my thoughts for now….
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March 1, 2009 - Sunday
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Current mood:  cold
Category: Writing and Poetry
I don't want to be here. Stuck in my room with piles of manuscripts
and notes. Recordings.
Books on how to perform. perform as a soloist as a leader as the Bass Voice of an Orchestral Brass Section as a tuba in a small ensemble
and yet
nothing on how to create an ensemble to perform in.
I have countless awards, acknowledgements:
scraps of paper attached to bittersweet memories.
I can play what
Six? Seven?
Does anyone care?
i can count on one hand the people who care what professional solos a high schooler can play.
It's what I've Prided myself on over the years.
it doesn't matter
What does matter is that you enjoy it and you find it fulfilling.
And I do.
well
i have.
but now
the competitions are over
competitions for which i should never have been eligible
Now i know how superficial they are
Because really, I have nothing to show now.
i have tried, played, performed my best
alone.
that's what it truely feels like.
i am alone.
Because even those who
don't care
don't take music as seriously as i do
whom i scorn
get the privelege
the profound privelege
of making music
They have gained. I have lost.
i thought i could make it without them
but in the end.
i'd trade it all
for one last chance
to play the Suite in Eb
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February 23, 2009 - Monday
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Current mood:  ashamed
Category: School, College, Greek
Good greif. I have to write a Extended essay, which wouldn't really be that bad if it weren't true that I have no sense whatsoever for priorities. Then World Lit. Which would already be done if I have planned on taking IB English this year. But I was going to drop, only the office decided I wasnt. So they're not done. ToK paper too. That I can handle. cool. I have to write a world lit paper and an EE on topics I don't understand. Cool. The stupid thing is I'm not going to quit. Instead I'm going to begin sacrificing my grades AGAIN to try to make this work. I'm hoping for a 1 on my EE/ToK grade, and a 3 in English. So, considering all the mistakes I've made keeping my away from the maximum scores, but my stupidity on Spanish and History and Math tests, Here are my predicted scores: EE/ToK: 1 Music: 5 (set in stone) Math: 3-5 Chem: 4-6 Eng: 2-5 Hist: 2-4 Span: 2-5 5 or higher gets Northwestern credit in Math, History, or Chem. TOTAL: 19-31 I need 24 points for the diploma. Provided I don't get more than one 2 and I don't fail anything. Like the Extended Essay.
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January 29, 2009 - Thursday
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Current mood:  depressed
Category: Life
In high school. I'm a good tuba player. I can win auditions, and learn my music, and win competitions and parade my musicianship and know more music theory than most people around me, and am constantly frustrated by other's lack of desire to play music.
In college. I'm mediocre tuba player and have a small chance of getting accepted only if I really do well in my audition. I'll have to spend alot of hours making sure I can play my music, and I'll know no more about music theory than a sophomore in SR IB Mathematics. I'll also, as a tuba player, need to decide which small ensembles I want to do and which.I'll have to reject invitations from so that I can balance my workload.
Because not showi..ng up to rehearsals with my music all learned will build a reputation.. that will be hard to shake. Because I'll lose my seat in the Wind Ensemble if I can't play my part. Well. If I even make it into the ensemble. Because I'll lose my place at the school if my grades slip or I can't handle the music. Because musicianship in college is GRADED. You're not expected to try. You're expected to do well. And if you don't do well, you get the grade you deserve. If you don't do well on a math test but you TRY, you don't expect an A. in spanish, if you don't flow in a presentation, you don't expect an A beca.se you said all the information. Musi. is a class.
If I get into Northwestern, I'll be just another freshman who has a long way to go before he can compete with the upperclassmen. Who has no idea what hard work really is.
That's my life. Nobody there will care if he's gone to WIBC, what chair he was. If he was first chair at All-..NW. So what? Anyone here can do the same. He has a Miraphone 188CC. So? We play on Miraphone 1291s. He can balance a 25 peice Wind Ensemble? We have a 250 peice Orchestra. A three month marching season? We have new music every week. And if he doesn't know it, there are 4 tuba players waiting for his place.
Nobody will care if I go to All NW. They'll care if I fail my EE because I didn't work on it that weekend. Nobody will care if I win a gold medal for a contest limited to Washington.. State high schoolers. They'll care if I miss an audition weekend because if it.
So? I'll try. And if I fail. I'll know I've found my limit. And if I succeed. I'll keep looking.
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December 31, 2008 - Wednesday
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Category: Life
I hate this.
I hate applying to college and having no idea what i'm doing.
I hate not knowing what I can do.
Not knowing if there was some obscure step I forgot to take 3 weeks ago that's doomed to haunt me.
Was I supposed to send a transcript? was I supposed to mail it? where? when? do i send it online? how? is the school supposed to mail it? like that's going to happen. that would require the counselors being helpful. can doc fill out the couselor section? do i need to? what if my teacher recommendation isn't uploaded? what if they don't get a transcript?
Why the fuck didn't somebody tell me you could apply and then send your transcripts later?
Will I have to miss All-Nothwest to go to an audition? what about PLU honor band? will PLU accept me? how do i know if my application is complete?
it says that Northwestern requires a secondary school report.
it says they require a midyear report.
the two are identical.
and doc has to fill both out; I can't.
in the hardcopy version it says to attach a transcript.
it also says you can submit it online.
and I don't get to see the online version.
should I mail them a transcript? does doc have access to one? can it be emailed? will the school bother with it after break? will it be too late after break?
I can't get over the feeling that i'm going to miss some minute detail. some small little deadline i was supposed to meet or letter i was supposed to send that's going to void my application make them toss it aside to look at thousands of better ones below it in the pile.
maybe none of my applications are valid?
maybe i'm not going to be able to go to college?
maybe i'll be stuck in yakima. stuck in the pits of one of the local schools with the vague hope of being able to leave someday, but being trapped in the vortex that so many before me have found and being forced to give up my tuba.
maybe i really can't deal with the real world alone.
then why am i asked to ? i can recollect countless times when ive asked people how they knew to get their transcripts or have letters written.
or to sumbit this work or that for scholarships.
always the same answer.
"i don't know, my mom just told me to do it"
and i ask about the financial aid forms and how they got their tax information: "what tax information? all i know if that my parents filled out the form and sent it. "
i wish i wasn't doing this alone.
everyone else applying to NU has sent in their application weeks ago.
and they probably didn't miss a thing.
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July 28, 2008 - Monday
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Category: Life
"Your success is measured by your ability to finish things" ~LazyBoy
"What people say behind your back is your standing in the community." ~Egdar Howe
"The highest position is any organization is that of active member" ~Thomas Jefferson
"Sit down and stop having stupid ideas" ~Doc Baranowski
"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part" ~Bill Beam
"Oh that's what the black stuph on the pizza crust is! It's cheese! I've been eating pizza for 16 years and I just figured out what that is." ~Justin Brown
"Don't treat me differently just because I'm carrying a tuba. I can go every where you can go. A tuba should never be seen as something that limits where you can go in life, quite the contrary, a tuba will let you go places you otherwise wouldn't have been able to." ~Me
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July 26, 2008 - Saturday
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Category: Travel and Places
Allow me to begin by saying "Holy crap, Chicago is the most amazing city I've been in so far."
This summer, I had the privelege of living on the campus of Northestern University for a week to take part in a masterclass taught by Rex Martin, the instructor at NU, and Gene Pokorny, the principal tuba for the CSO, Arnold Jacobs' replacement.
The first day I was there, I got to go see a DCI show, Cavalcade of Brass, in Naperville. I got my first taste of what DCI is really like, and I was awestruck. The Cavaliers, the host corps, were phenominal. I have never heard a marching ensemble play so loud, musically or in tune. And the drill was, in my ill-experienced eyes, nearly flawless.
Wow. I know what I want to do next summer.
The next day, I had the first day of classes. We dod a warm up that was awesome in the fact that it was only meant to be a 20 minute warm up. It covered everything in 20 minutes, from flexibility to intervals to speed, range, tone, and dynamics. And it's all accompanied. I recommend it. I'm going to use it in my sectionals.
After a day or two of basics, we each got individually cliniqued. I played the Rag from TubaTunes. The most prominant outcome was a little rubber pad Rex uses to hold his tuba. He let me use it, and I was playing about twice as loud instantly. Gene threw me a quarter cuz I sounded so good. ^_^ I'm a professional musician now.
Throughout the course, I got to listen and take notes on everyone's clinic, and heard everything from a new composition buy a player's compostition student called Blue Grace (it was about the composer's sister's stillborn baby named Grace, and it was beautiful) to the concerto I'm playing next year (Rex had never heard of it).
Then a guy can up with Fountains of Rome. Now, allow my to briefly explain Fountains of Rome. It's an extremely difficult, loud, and low orchestral excerpt in an odd meter. I was feeling drowzy that class, but whever I heard Pokorny play low Es, I sat upright and was wide awake. That man has the most powerful tone I've ever heard.
Afterwards, I was exposed to a few other orchestral exerpts, most natable Fountains of Rome, Ride of the Valkyries, and Bydlo, which goes up to a G in the treble clef. Even the euphonium player had a bit o' trouble hitting it every time.
So all told, I learned a bunch, on every aspect of playing. At the end of the week, I got to tour the neighborhood of Chicago that NU was located in. I love the area, and not least because it's literally Right on the shore of Lake Michigan.
I kinda could in a way see myself going there next year. Yes Justina. Next year. In 2009. Anyway, I don't think I left out any of the important things, so there ya go, and now I'm going to go back to imagining how awesome band camp, our tuba section, and playing music in general is going to be next year.
Talk to ya later.
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May 22, 2008 - Thursday
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Current mood:  quiet
Category: Life
Hmmm... Very exciting times...
That's a phrase I've thought to myself countless times throughout the last few months. Countless.
So much has happened; I've grown so much since winter – mainly as a musician, but also in other fields. My Eagle Project in unbelievably well-known in the city; I have people I don't even know congratulate me on it. Even if it wasn't handicapped accessible, nobody seems to care. We even walked on it when Davis took their Prom pictures. ^_^
I also made NHS, something I had pessimistically given up on. But I made it because of my IB classes. Barely. But it's a huge honor, and I'm going to try my hardest to keep it.
Lastly, and most importantly, I took Third in the State. I'm FINALLY proved my proficiency in a form that Goranson CAN'T dispute. With this, I've realized that if I want to learn, I have to do it myself. Since then, I've begun planning a recital for all the solos I won't get to compete with, and started taking private music theory and piano lessons.
Mr. Beam once asked me, "You just took third at state. But it's funny, you don't act any different." "Should I be acting different?" "No. But regardless, people are starting to notice you."
And it's true. I went to a recital for the tuba instructor at UPS, and he basically offered me a 4 year scholarship. Band directors have begun requesting me to perform at their schools. I've begun to think about composing, and have started arranging music, something I've never thought I could do. I love music.
Now, the less positive. Behind all the extra curriculars I've been successful at, there's the regular curriculars. Which suck. Between zero period history, and the increasing tension between me and Goranson, my GPA has dropped to just above 3.1. Shit.
I've taken measure to remedy this, but I'm still ashamed that I ever let that happen in the first place. My work ethic has improved slightly, but still not enough apparently. I fixed History and IB Music, but I still have to work my butt off for Chem.
Next, I'm going to play my strengths: teaching, leadership, and Mr. Beam. We'll see where that gets me.
Speaking of future plans, due the aforementioned issues with Goranson, I'm decided to take a back seat role in leading the band. I've been seemingly barred from leadership positions, so my plan is to: Make sure my section is the first to memorize the show, the best behaved, the best marchers, and an example to others how they should behave. Assist in running other sectionals for every section I can, to give what advice I can on the music, and help the other section leaders with the difficulties with leadership. Be the first go to guy for the DM's, and make sure to stay involved with the freshmen. Quietly review and filter for feasibility the ideas for "comradery" that the DM's keep having, and Plant my own in a form that won't immediately be shot down by Goranson because they came from me.
...Anyway, back to Chemistry....
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