I have been back from my overseas exodus for about two weeks. Since then I have found out a lot: My store is closing soon, so i may not be employed at Borders after January (fingers crossed that I get transferred to the other one!) as well as a few things personal to me and ergo don't get posted here! Ask my personally if you really care. (not many will, most allready get it)
Also, I cannot find my printer disc to re-install my printer. Which is why the two drawings i posted, were photos with my digital cam, and when i can get the scanner up, I will re-post them. I also seem to be writing a lot more, just working through my issues like I do, through my expression and artistic ways. I am also going to get ink soon. ( ! ) And hopefully I can get some new drawings posted sooner rather than later. Also trying this limited free journal thingy! and as promised, a rant:
I AM SICK OF TWILIGHT CRAP. I am also sick of tweener girls and other gals who are into vampires now because of it. I'm sorry, but are you not aware that "Dracula" was written over 200 years ago?? I watched that film, the one with the great Bela Lugosi when I was 8 years old! I have been into vampires and that type of thing for almost two-thirds of my life! Not just Drac, but Boris' Frankenstein all the old Universal films, and that type of thing. Why is it the thing now to be into vampires and stuff? Curse you Stephanie Meyer!!!! And the same with The Nightmare Before Christmas or anything Tim Burton for that matter. I recal a few years ago someone asked my if I liked "The Corpse Bride" because it was "cool to like Tim Burton"> I said, no! I have been a fan of Tim Burton since, again, I was 8 or so. Actually, before that as I remember watching "Edward Scissorhands" and loving it when it first came out on VHS (Yeah, remember those?) GAH! I am who I am, abnd have been for a long ass time! I am not a scene guy, although someone asked me about that too.
Kudos to those of you who actually read this whole thing. Its way too long I know.

Alright. we have had some talks about things, and as it stands now, Criss and I have decided to just return to friends status. Don't over react (Naomi!) we BOTH mutually decided this. With what her situation is, and where I am, right now just is not the time. Does that mean it doesn't suck? No. Does this mean that we hate each other? No!!! By no means! We are still good, close friends! We are both ok with this, while not what we wanted, it is just the way that things have to be. She has things that she needs to do now, and I am not going to be in the way of what she needs to take care (school etc.). I now feel that there is no need for people to go "Oh, what can I do for you?" You need not worry, we are both fine, and we don't think anyone needs to overreact with this.

Ok for those who don't know- Last Friday/early Saturday I was experieancing major tingles and mumb type sensations all over, a lot in my feet, and alo in my hands and elswhere. Saturday I left work early, and Sunday just spent laying around and resting. Monday they came back, but Tuesday evening it wasn't too bad. Wednesday (last night, the 9th) was NOT the case. I was standing in worship, and suddenly a wave overcame me, and I went to the foyer, and nearly fainted. After getting outside, I was starting to feel a little better, but still not good. It was decided that i needed to eat, and when our crew went to the resturant I was (as andy put it) "swooning", and he and Josh had me sit. At the table, I was kinda in and out, and was spacing out something firece. (The waitress was asking me a question three times before I knew something was being said to me). Andy and Josh porceeded to take me up to the ER, as they felt it was in my best interests. Once there, I was given some medicine that styarted with an "A", I am not sure what it was (but man was it niiiiiice...) and I am being wheeled in for a CAT Scan, I was talking to the dude taking me in. And yet even with all my ordea;, I somehow ended up on the subject of God. And then proceeded to talk to him about Skull Church, and just God in general. And yet, in the middle of ll that I am dealing with, why is it that was what I could focus on? There is always oopurtunites. Even in our worst circumstyances, you never know how much your talk to someone can impact someone else. 
Don't worry, I am fine btw. No life threatning I may just have to live with anxiety issues for my life. Ciao!

Before anyone attacks me: This is one of the best songs I have heard. It is by Brian "Head" Welch, a mega heavy Christian artist. Also the former guitarist for the band Korn. I happen to feel like this, I think religion is terrible, whereas God, is not. God is not religion. He is not in some building. He is everywhere, He is everything and at all times, forever more. Why do some Christians see the nbeed to fix themselves away from everything? Last night at Veritas, this was brought up. You can be in thee world, but do not be off the world. How often does this happen? People just isolate themselves and it does no one any good. If you don't keep a foothold of sorts in this world, how do you connect to those who don't know the Message? You have no common ground, nothing to help start you talking to them. I am, as it is widely known, a big fan of metal, which is often scourged as evil and Satanic. Yes, there are bands who do devote themselves to Satanistic styles, but not all. It is a matter of, to me, personal discretion. Do what several people don't: READ THE LYRICS. Actually read what they say. Don't pass judgment on something you hear a ten second snippet, and then make your judgment final. Kep your heads clear, and open to the world, for it is where we are for a while. We need to know what it is, to be effective and productive in it.

"Die, Religion Die!"- Head
I’m sick of all your rules
They're so man-made
You treat them all like fools
You put my name to shame
I’m everything you’re not
I give them love
My ways you have forgot
You put yourselves above

I'll testify!
It’s time to see religion die!
The truth can’t lie!
It’s time to see religion die!
Who cares? Who's right?
It’s time to see religion die!
I'll crush the fight!
It’s time to see religion die!

My church is not inside your building walls
On Sundays you all hide, while the world just falls
Now go into the world and destroy Hell
You have authority, use it for the kill

I'll testify!
It’s time to see religion die!
The truth can’t lie!
It’s time to see religion die!
Who cares? Who's right?
It’s time to see religion die!
I'll crush the fight!
It’s time to see religion die!

Children come away with me
I want you all to be mine
I am taking back what’s mine
And you’ve killed too much time
With pointing all your fingers
At your kids that’s why they’re lost
Try to look deep in their eyes
You will see suicide
Blame it on yourself
Cause no one else will pay your price, your price

Die just, die religion die, just die
Die just, die religion die, just die
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Die! Religion, die! Die! Die! Die!

Do not be afraid
Religion is man-made
Everything is OK
The rules have just been changed

On the note of "Revenge of the Fallen":
OMG IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!
The only real problem I had was hearing a lot of 'bots cuss up a blue streak. And I know some people hated the Twins, but personally, i liked them, and thought it was soo cool that they had more personality this go around IE: Starscream was the sniveling little usurper again, how Bumbleebee was more into truly protecting Sam in ALL aspects of life (the car scene anyone?) Although what with the major plot thing that i cannot divulge concerning Peter Cullen I was all teared up. Admit that. I knew it couldn't last, but still....
Oh yes, multiple viewing are on order here.
And not enough Arcee. I was soo stoked to see Arcee, and she never gets anything. And ravage.....ahhhhh grand!!!
Ok, on the note of life right now:
it is grand actually., been picking up a lot more hours, and just truly enjoying things. Just really for the first time, letting go of the reins and letting God take the wheel. Man is it releving. But also a lot more productive in artwork, and am working on several projects at once in tradition me fashion.
AS FOR MICHEAL AND FAWCET: Ok fawcet was ill, but still sad in the same way the Jackson's is. He may have been a wee bit odd, but, he was a father, and now those children are without him. Which begs the question: When YOU die, whiat will yuo say to YOUR father? The one who created you? I know that this was posted on some other peoples things, but it is a very good question, and it shoud make you think a moment or two.

Ok. I just feel like writing. I am having a bit of a creative fit, and have been drawing and writing again. I love the this splurge of creativity. and can't wait to see what will come of it. I love that I have been given this wonderful gift, and I am using this to really just do something that I haven't in a while, like watercolor, ink, things like that. I have found that in the last couple moths, a lot has happened. I lost friends, I was used by people, I was ran through the ringer. I am so happy to see that God has put me through these trials, so that I may grow stronger through them, and that I have been given wisdom to see what is better for me.

I cannot stand people. Correction: I can't stand HUMANS. Very few humans are people. Most still act like the base primates that some say we come from. So far, very few humans have shown me that they are people, those of you who are, know who you are. People don't keep dragging things up in an attempt to make themselves look better. People leave well enough alone. Sorry, didn't mean for such a rant, but, hey it happens. You had your chance, you blew it. Get off your cross, use the wood to build a bridge, and GET OVER IT. I moved on. Quit digging up the past, what happened, happened. Deal with the consequnces of your actions and leave me alone, I know how it happened and you cannot change what you did, no matter how much you may want to.

I have been slacking.

Seriously.

I had a powerful wake up call this week at my college group. I need to
really start letting people know about the Truth. I really don't talk
to people about it. Yet I have been given a gift to be able to talk to
people, to get them to laugh and feel ok, and to strike up
conversations with them. And i really do not use it. Why? if I have
these gifts, I need to make full use of them while I can. I could not
be here tomorrow. I do not know the plan for my life, it is not in my
hands. I just really know what I must do.