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that's a sweet man

i wish i was one person involved in this chat....sadly...i am just the messenger:

Matt: floridas all over this place
Matt: rampant
Jessica: yay FL
I like FL boys
Matt: you cray-cray
Jessica: they're so EASY
Matt: pssh
Jessica: it's reassuring
everyone else is intimidating
Matt: yah flas are usually chilln
Jessica: exactly
I know what I'm getting into with them
Matt: soflas rule duh
Jessica: like
"let's just lay down in this air conditioned room and make out"
life = done
that's all there is to it
Matt: only thing better then making out is A/C
the combo is gifted
Jessica: so soothing right
Matt: ultimate
Jessica: the hum of central air
in the background
while you make out
ultimate indeed
Jessica: probably a lawn mower outside
Matt: central is the ONLY real a/c
stopp yr making me sentimental
lizards on the window outside
Jessica: dude
I just fucking wrote that exact sentence
ahhh
Matt: whatttt
Jessica: I had "lizards on the outside of the window" typed out
Matt: <3
florida's gifts
lawnmower hum is very real
Jessica: OJ in the fridge for real
publix brand
Matt: publix brand anything is best
Jessica: probably trying to get in a good 45 mins before mom gets back from publlix
Matt: less time than that -- public is right there & there is the other publix not too far from that
Jessica: that's true
maybe they're hitting Eckerds too
Matt: oh man
eckerds was truth

THEN LATER:

Matt: let's get married in florida and get season tix to magic kingdom and only weigh ourselves on publix scales
Jessica: YAY THE SCALE
Matt: and i'll leave the car on (a/c blasting) when you step out to do whatever
so it is ultra-cold when you come back in all florida sweaty
Jessica: that's so romantic
Matt: i think so
Matt: and i'll tell you you look pretty when yr all hot and miserable because the publix birthday cake you were gatting made turned-out all fucked up and the bakery guy was a total dick about it

if they get married...i already told them that BF-INC wants to get married to their marriage.
i mean...for real!

amen.

BF-INC

train conductor - " next stop shenectady ?"

commuter 1- " hey rememba when we was in hoboken and were like schpolonk schplonk schplonk!??"

commuter 2- "sha boing boing boooooooooiiiiinnnnng!"

TC- "OH!"

(fine')

I would like to thank the New Jersey transit authority, and the communities of Pohatcong, Plumbsock, Piscataway, Perth Amboy, Pequest, Pequannock, Penny Pot, Pennsauken, Pecks Corner, Peapack, Packanack Lake, and Parsappiny...as well as Mr. Joey Fatone, your guidance and inspiration has shepparded me through the valley of darkness, for you are truly your brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children....besides, you have a huge clit and moves like no other lover, thank you or standing by me through good times and bad times , i'll be on your side forever more...that's what friends are for. I am the man who will fight for your honor.

see!?!?!

boyfriends incorporated?
boyfriends incorporated are the truth.

on top of all of that...we are booking now for our spring tour around the USofA!
(west coast and midwest too!)
should be mega hot shizz!
get ready for party time mega sexy!

pierce your nipples in our honor.

*andy

"so, what happens if you have TWO lazy eyes? does that just make you asian?"

i wish i could make up stuff like this...but i can't...teach me how to love again.

that's right! out of our supposed 201 FUCKING FRIENDS, ANNA is our one and only subscriber!!!

she's true blue dude! 100% kick ass awesome (i didn't see jamie's name in the subscriber list)

congratulations ANNA you win an unopened splack pack cd courtesy of our new friends over at 9 lives(our new sponsor)

ps-it's the one with"scrub da ground" and "fuck ah hoe" on it! :)

and i saw so many big gut flat top dads freaking out about every little thing.
one guy was yelling, "YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!! YOU ARE KILLING ME!!!" at a little old ticket lady...while his son looked on and slowly started to turn gay. i mean...if there is a god.

...but them robot dinoz were bradazz!

yes the slanket, a fucking blanket with fucking sleeves.



..

i want to look like a creepy monk who hangs out with these assholes


Oh yes let's all wear brand new black + white nike's and feed the kids kool-aids!
P.A.N Bro !!! Spring Break Hale Bopp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxox

so last night i rode with my roomate up to our neighborhood store(which is always good for a laugh), when he went in i stayed in the truck with the windows down listening to some soft rock, something really smelled like BBQ..when he got back in this is what went down..

me- "you smell ribs?"

matt -"yes"

me- "where is it coming from"

matt- "from between my legs baby"

then a huge funny black woman in the car next to us who was apparently listening and very amused went
" OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! "

and we all laughed and drove away.

before the video even went public (we gave it out to about 25 friends) it ended up with 1000+ plays and on the front page of the Mad Decent Blog (diplo's record label). so...we know that our friends can't keep a fucking secret.
after publicly launching the whole thing today...this is what i have found:

PartyEnds
Mad Decent
Urban Outfitters
Central Booking
Picnic Tyme
The Couch Sessions
Show Hype
Elbo.ws
b3ta.com
Strange Famous
The Small is Beautiful
soleone.org
soulstrut
buzzfeed

now that it is out and the site is up...don't bother keeping this a secret. tell everyone you know. we are really curious about how big this can be...
we need new dicks.

hearts,

BF-INC