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Brotherhood of the Kilt - KiltsRock.com

K T


Last Updated: 4/10/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 34
Sign: Aries

City: In a kilt a long time ago, far far away
State: OKLAHOMA
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/15/2005

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007 

Man sets world record for most blue ribbons
Kilt wearing gents has won first place over 5,000 times!
Edinkirk, Scotland


Angus MacFerkus, resident of Edinkirk, has set a new world record for most first place wins in a lifetime. Angus, or "Caber" as he is called by his friends, lives by himself in a small flat in Edinkirk. He works at the local sheep sheering plant, where sheepswool is collected to make kilts. On the weekends he takes trips to nearby cities to have drinks with his friends.

Cillian, long time friend of Angus, tells The Brotherhood of the Kilt that Angus seems to find a way to "win" everywhere he goes. "After a few pints," Cillian says,"Angus will start chatting up the ladies, and generally has a grand time of it. The next day, he without fail calls me to ask what happened. I ask why, and he says he found another blue ribbon under his kilt. I just laugh now. He has thousands of these, and we have no idea why."

The local councilmen in Edinkirk have declared today "Angus MacFerkus Day" in honor of this grand accomplishment. When asked if he will try to win more ribbons, Angus simply said "I hope so. I don't know how it happens, but I seem to always win first prize!"

KT
Brotherhood of the Kilt correspondent
www.kiltsrock.com

6:57 AM 
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Monday, February 12, 2007 

Current mood:Kilted

The Brotherhood of the Kilt is a co-ed organization dedicated to the kilt. We hope to educate the global community on the history of the kilt and its impact on the Scottish, Irish, Welsh, and English peoples of the world. Via a wide array of mediums, including live discussion and merchant support, we also strive to put forth a modern appearance and image of the kilt for its worldwide acceptance. It is our belief that you don't need to be Celtic to put on a kilt, you just need the courage to wear it!

 

(updated 2/18/2007 )

5:01 AM 
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Saturday, February 10, 2007 

Current mood:Kilted
9:25 PM 
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007 

Current mood:Kilted
Another quality re-post - updated by the Brotherhood of the Kilt

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
birthdays, anniversaries, arrangements she makes, anything she says, things imagins or postulates, everything she says to any of her friends, even if you are not there,and that you sole purpose in life is to provide for her every need, no matter how silly, or at what cost to your mental and physical self.


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up (naked for bonus points!)
2. Bring Food and Scotch (bonus point if it is an Islay Single Malt!)

***Super extra bonus point if she buys him a kilt or kilt accessory without his knowledge!***
1:03 AM 
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007 

Current mood:Kilted
Another quality re-post - updated by the Brotherhood of the Kilt

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
birthdays, anniversaries, arrangements she makes, anything she says, things imagins or postulates, everything she says to any of her friends, even if you are not there,and that you sole purpose in life is to provide for her every need, no matter how silly, or at what cost to your mental and physical self.


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up (naked for bonus points!)
2. Bring Food and Scotch (bonus point if it is an Islay Single Malt!)

***Super extra bonus point if she buys him a kilt or kilt accessory without his knowledge!***
1:03 AM 
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Thursday, January 11, 2007 

Current mood:Kilted
Another fine re-post from The Brotherhood of the Kilt....

How a scotsman deals with words women say.

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

What the scotsman does? Heads to the pub for a few pints. He is in trouble anyway, might as well take advantage of it.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

What the scotsman does? Calls a few friends over to watch the game, and break open a fine bottle of 17yr old scotch. If he is lucky she is ready to leave before the scotch is gone.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

What the scotsman does? Runs to pub quickly. She is obvisouly pissed, and he doesn't want any part of that.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

What the scotsman does? Goes about his business. She has no recourse, since in fact she did give him permission before hand.

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing (refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).

What the scotsman does? Responds with something unintelligble until he hears either #1, 3 or 4. Unless there is an actual sentence being spoken, she must be tired and needs a nap. Call friends to meet at pub for the game.

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

What the scotsman does? Makes sure he gets in as much mischief as possible before she makes up her mind and says something else. There is going to be hell to pay, so he better earn it!

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you - do not question or faint. Just say you're welcome.

What the scotsman does? Ask for a translation, writes the even down in stone, and calls as many friends as possible to head to the pub for a celebration!


8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!% YOU!

What the scotsman does? Intelligent conversation is over, and she is more often than not in a bad mood. Head to pub every so quietly.

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, "what's wrong." For the woman's response, refer to # 3.

What the scotsman does? Fire the maid and head to the pub with friends. Whatever what supposed to be done is getting done without him.
5:43 AM 
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006 

Current mood:Kilted

Since you opened this, your scotch will be gone within 20 min or less. Your IP will also be permanently BANNED from consuming any future drams of MyScotch. (Please don't take this lightly!)
-Scotch
-Haggis
-Kilt Inspectors
-Scotch Eggs
-Kilts
(everything) - will be gone!

Sucks cause its not a joke
- (sorry for having to do this, but MyScotch has grown to be too diluted! We need to clean all non-single malts off MyScotch)

The only way u get to keep your MyScotch is to repost this within 4 minutes with this title! ---> Enough MyScotch, I Quit!

Tom Sorry guys, I know you hate these things, but we have to clean up the number of non-single malts

( another silly repost from the Brotherhood of the Kilt)
The Brotherhood of the Kilt on Myspace - www.myspace.com/kilts_rock
1:19 AM 
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Friday, December 15, 2006 

Current mood:Kilted
If anyone ever gives you any grief about wearing the kilt...here is a Brotherhood of the Kilt approved response.

******

I wear the kilt because I am a member of the Brotherhood of the Kilt, eat Haggis whenever possible, drink single malt scotch more often that water, toss cabers the size of a telephone pole for fun, raid and pillage english towns when I get bored, and can prevent all manner of mischief and ill-begotten strife with a single look.

( wait a few seconds for the questioner to mull all that over )

Now, do you have any important questions?
4:41 AM 
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Friday, December 15, 2006 

Current mood:Kilted
A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

E ven though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.
2:24 AM 
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Tuesday, December 12, 2006 

Current mood:Kilted

 

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Abby Libby
Date: Dec 11 2006 11:24 PM


Just to set things straight...
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top

3:36 AM 
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