Sarah with an H (part two)_______



I hit send on my phone
to remind me to call her
as she left.
at this point
the only thing
I could see
was that
I should not be in public.

an old friend of mine
was behind the bar.

not
because he was working
but
because he was serving us.

the bar tender had left
for a cigarette

the bar itself
kept me standing on
whiskey reflux one eyed vision

drunk again.
but this time it's bad.
I can't see.

the only thing I can see
is that
I should not be in public.

"hello."
(the voice of a woman)

"hello."

I probably had
told three jokes poorly
and we were walking out the door.

past a dark warm garage
that smelled like blow jobs
and standing sex from behind.

up a hill.
holding hands.

(I have yet to look at this woman)

all I know is that
I am with a woman.
and that was exactly
where we all wanted to be.

now naked
cold grass
dark building
and giggles

she has my pants
at my ankles
(her body is decent)
my shirt above my head

straddling me
she
tosses her black hair
in slow motion picture fashion

she speaks softly–


"I think someone is coming."
I look left

I look back to her
"yes. someone is coming."

FLASHLIGHT
flashlight twice down
my leftover body

police officer silence


"hello, sir."
I say.

"evening."
with even more flashlight.

"well,
you got me.
what ever you have to do
I understand."

he flashes the light on the girl
(she is not attractive)

"You ok?"

"yes- it's completely consensual."
holding her little breasts

and with that
the officer
turns his flashlight off
says "Sorry"
turns around
and
leaves.

5am mist rising
from our mouths
as we rolled
on top of one another
laughing at luck and politics.




from 'book two or more lonely than alone' daniel stessen copyright 2005

L_____________________________ I have met her once and I slept with her kissed her listened to her whispered to her laughed with her went down on her watched her danced with her cooked for her made love to her held hands with her fucked her flirted with her introduced her winked at her smiled at her learned from her woke up next to her miss her she’s probably right we do not have to ever see each other again from 'book two or more lonely than alone' daniel stessen copyright 2005

in a small kitchen________________ I sat comfortably in a wooden chair at a wooden table. the entire set wasn’t worth a hundred dollars, but it had to be thirty years old and appeared in the shape it first arrived. I was at my aunt’s house. she and her husband were aging quite rapidly and had a sense of humor about it. my aunt’s husband, “Father,” as she called him, lived in his bedroom in a pair of sweatpants until a visitor appeared. this, at least once a day. the table was soft. I pressed it and stood from my seat. I reach to touch the refrigerator. and like an alarm my aunt turns, “what are you looking for? I got milk I got orange juice iced tea Pepsi there’s orange and cream soda in the garage.” with out fail she would rattle off this staple list of beverages that have been in her home for as long as I could hear. I poured myself an orange juice and the cat dragged in Floyd. Floyd stood about 5 foot 8 and he weighed a round 215. he had white hair and was always red in the face. I am certain this was because the man never stopped speaking. though Floyd is a good man. he visits Father a couple times a week because Father does not leave the house. Floyd started in on me. with his upstate accent piercing clean, my aunt braced herself for embarrassment. he told me about how the weight in his face and sides was due to his chemotherapy. he leaned against the sink and entertained the full kitchen of four with stories my aunt and Father have heard several times prior. Floyd laughed and joked about how after chemo he would mow his lawn, and how he would take his wife shopping. chemotherapy seemed to take a different effect on Floyd than 99.9% of the patients in the world. it was actually quite impressive. he then cut himself off to remind himself about how just today he had his dog cremated. “got er’ in the back seat.” he says “oh, dear.” my aunt says sincerely. “how’s Janey doin’?” (his wife) “she’s better… now. better now than on Tuesdee’. I’m just wonderin’ what to do with her. I was thinking about just puttin’ her on the shelf in the basement and if Janey kicks it before I do, I’ll bury em’ together.” we all chuckle. “Hell, I’ve done it before.” we all laugh, (I laugh the loudest.) “I buried Spanks with David.” silence everyone had forgotten, he actually did bury their last dog with his son who died in a car accident. everyone had forgotten. from 'book two or more lonely than alone' daniel stessen copyright 2005

admitting addiction_______________ look at all the success of your friends look at all the success of your friends look at all the success of your friends look at all the success of your friends it will never happen for us. no matter what they say. from 'book two or more lonely than alone' daniel stessen copright 2005

infected by antibiotics___________ with spotted liver in hand I knelt in a see through gown colored lost kid tag orange surrounded by all of the kings horses and men with one clean turn of a grip-sized dial an athletic transvestite had created a gravitational push then pull, I was slammed to the ground from 20 feet in the air cracking open my exoskeletal epiderm from clavicle to navel. no volunteer raised their hand to help as a retired pediatrician used veterinarian tools to remove a laugh box that apparently had been lodged in my chest. I watched my ribcage breathe and she held it in the dead air above me while it oozed silent. I yelled. I wanted to fuck the horses and suck their dicks. “better that than our men.” the king chuckled. “better than our men.” from 'book two or more lonely than alone' daniel stessen copyright 2005

your name faded blue ink on my wrist i look up- black blue hue open night sky i'm underwater over anxious and past tense there's no punctuation in my communication its rare that we get the chance to speak gravity pulls left and we through long grass and trees are folded into horizons it's always good seeing you. (c) 2005 daniel stessen from 'book two or more lonely than alone'

she had toes for teeth and told me she had a shoe fetish. bad breath yes, but that was the least of my worries. I was to marry this beast in a week, said my crystal ball reading. well, a gun was to the psychics head, (she told her it was a shot gun but really it was a rifle.) ha! ha! ha! that's why I fell for her, her sense of humor. (the psychic wasn't the brightest either.) wink as you might have guessed the big day was upon us. and did it snow! I was eloquently dressed as a lollipop. she too wore a gown, blue train of slip n' slide. we kissed on the mouth, and our guests threw chainsaws into an empty aquarium of killer whales. then it was off to the reception! we drank and drank and ate and drank until everyone at the party fell. (we cut the cake somewhere in there. it was Polaroid white, tasted like lemon fruits, and made almost completely from Oxycottons.) so there I lay, "late night," pulsating in our guests vomit, while my new bride massaged my scalp. tossing into turns dry heaving a sleeping stomach the first morning and the rest of our lives my bride had been awake for long enough to construct a sundial. and use it. it was then we decided to conceive. as silent as the silhouette of a swan her clothes were off revealing her farmers tan tattoos. burning my urethra upon entrance, she smashed my mouth with her forearm and took my virginity for the day. the guests woke to the sound of a dog with its face in two. (she makes it feel like blood when I cum.) "lets open the gifts!" she said backwards to make me laugh. I rose from the pool of discharge and pulled my pants from my ankles, while she fixed her hair in my black sunglasses. the first gift a blender. (it was on.) the second was a hilarious gag gift. the third a small naked girl-boy. a small stub penis with a shallow vagina this girl-boy possessed. wouldn't you know, that my bride danced like a Native American Indian around the girl-boy until she collapsed in seizure. she loved it! they were normally a good sign. the seizures. with my wife convulsing on the floor, the wet girl-boy pointed at me. (I don't recall why the girl-boy was wet.) It was then I understood nothing. I left the blender running and the girl-boy to my bride & guests. smiled, then folded the gag gift and left. I would see them all soon. the gift was a photograph of the other side of the moon. daniel stessen copyright 2005 from "book two or more lonely than alone"