As published on "The Roundtable":

Thinking back on a lot of our "roundtable" discussions before we even began this blog journey, I realized just how jaded I've become about music.  Something that once inspired me in so many positive ways, or enlightened me, or even above all, entertained me, has recently become an outlet for cynicism.  Growing up in the golden (platinum?) age of CDs, I've been brainwashed into believing that the mark of quality music or a quality artist is synonymous with how many units that artist moves.  Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard of?  I think so, but it was truly my mentality.

Thankfully, over the last few months, I've been connecting with true music aficionados whose musical tastes span all genres. It's been a very educational experience and continues to be one, but I now find myself exploring different musicians and sounds that perhaps I would've never even given a second thought to.

Case in point – Fiona Apple.  Ok, so she's not "unknown" or "undiscovered" in the traditional sense.  In fact, as sales numbers go, she's done well for herself over the years, but there's more to her than I had ever known. Two close friends of mine, Mike and Eddie, are self-described "Fionatics."  They've spent countless hours trying to convince me to give "little Fi" a chance – just a listen – emphasizing that I'm missing out on incredible music.  Each time, I passed.

See, I have this vivid memory of Fiona, which I'm sure many of you share. Flashback to '96 or so, Fiona hit the music scene with a bang and "Criminal" was topping the charts.  Her scandalous video hit, a voyeuristic look at Fiona and other young-looking stand-ins sulking around a house half-naked, a real-life simulation of those controversial Ralph Lauren ads that were popular in the late '90s.  People were addicted – the video was put in heavy rotation at MTV leading to Fiona's nomination as "Best New Artist."  Naturally, she won, but no one was prepared for her acceptance speech in which she ranted that the world was "bullsh*t" and damned the "mainstream industry." That left a sour taste in my mouth, but in hindsight, I was too naïve to realize she may have been on to something.

That profanity laced speech proved powerful enough for me to never give her music a chance until recently, when I finally relented to Mike and Eddie's nagging and downloaded a few tracks off Fiona's "When the Pawn…"  Instantly, I was hooked.  Her voice was raw and emotional, but more importantly, her lyrics spoke to me.  But this was just the beginning.    

Saturday, Mike and Eddie took me to a very intimate Q&A session/performance with Fiona as part of "The New Yorker" magazine's music festival at the Brooklyn Lyceum.  The audience consisted of about 200 true Fiona fans and some of her family and friends. We were front and center, no more than two feet from an electric piano setup and two chairs where the interview portion would take place. 

At 7:30, the lights dimmed, and this tiny figure dressed in all black scurried down the stairs with the assistance of what seemed to be her tour manager.  She quickly made her way to her seat and prepared herself for a very casuall interview with Sasha Frere-Jones.  As the interview unfolded, I came to find out Fiona is in constant battle with obsessive compulsive disorders and has quite a few anti-social tendencies.  At times on stage, she seemed fragile, that at any moment the pressure of this intimate setting would break her, but it never did. It was a fascinating experience just to watch someone in that setting, but at the same time, you couldn't help but think about how dangerous it could've all been.  She revealed that she wasn't currently working on any music because dealing her mind takes up a good portion of her day (life). After the interview and (awkward) fan Q&A session, Fiona was left to her music.

Accompanied by "Nickel Creek," Fiona performed seven songs with only an acoustic guitar, upright bass, and a violin backing.  Having never seen Fiona, I had no idea what to expect.  Her voice in impressively deep for such a small woman, filled with tiny imperfections that make her one of a kind.  She snarled, and I mean snarled, her way through each track – exposing her soul to the audience, a musical experience unlike anything else I've ever had.  Her body shook violently; her foot pounded the stage as if she was possessed conjuring up past emotions probably unsafe for anyone to reconnect with, especially one of her mental state. It was truly remarkable to witness. Intoxicating, she held the room's attention and shared every ounce of her pain with her audience and we accepted it, took on that burden as to give her some relief, if only for a moment. I always joke, but with some seriousness, that it is exhausting to be inside my head for just one day, but in relation to Fiona's condition, it's not so bad after all.  

I left that performance a changed person. How many artists have had that effect on you?

You all knew it was coming, especially that handful of folks I exchanged volatile text-messages with last night between the hours of 9p-11:15p. MTV, I'm officially insulted, disappointed, and completely over your antics. I grew up with you. Some of my earliest memories are linked to music videos where I can remember exactly where I was, who I was with, and what I felt. That is remarkable.

MTV was always cutting-edge, a step ahead of the competition, and let's be honest, had a tendency to be "controversial" and even a bit crass at times, but you managed to brain wash me (and my generation) into screaming "I WANT MY MTV."

That MTV has become unrecognizable and no longer exists. The Video Music Awards were classic. What started out as a celebration of music and artistry has become nothing more than a three-ring circus act. I guess that is to be expected from a "music television station" who no longer plays "music," but still I can't believe how the mighty have fallen. The VMAs had become a tradition in my life. Every year, ever since childhood, I would look forward to the VMAs, in fact, VMAs were synonymous with beginning the new school year for me. Friends know I start my VMA countdown come August 1. Well, MTV, this is the last time I will waste my life on your "show." Can you even call it a show?

I remember the days when MTV was groundbreaking – where they took chances, but also had purpose behind those chances. Back then, they looked to push the limits of music television and music itself and artists flocked to take part of station as well as the highly anticipated VMA award show. Over the years the show played host to many different genres of music. In one night, you were able to see the likes of Madonna in her prime or Aerosmith paired with Run DMC or Pearl Jam rock out with Neil Young, an unknown So-Cal ska band called No Doubt killing a performance atop Radio City Music Hall marquee, and pretty much everything in between. Yeah, VMAs, you had your flash-in-the-pans, Milli Vanilli, Faith No More, and dozens of other one-hit wonders in between, but the underlying theme of the show was music. Where's that music now?

Last night was a travesty. I know you're all going to focus on the Britney Spears debacle, but I urge you to look at the show as a whole. I guess anything that is so hyped can't possibly live up to the expectations, but MTV, you managed to leave me absolutely embarrassed, speechless, angry, and completely frustrated.  You advertised this show as "live and won't be re-aired," after last night, all I have to say is Thank GOD!

Britney, you're a mess, but I have a feeling something wasn't right last night. She looked like she was sucker-punched before she got on stage, her rehearsal footage showed more emotion than her performance. I think MTV set Britney up to fail. Why? Well, how else do you take whatever ounce of confidence a fledging popstar might have? Simply have Sarah Silverman follow her with a ridiculously harsh monologue. Not for nothing, I find Sarah Silverman to be mildly humorous from time to time, but there was nothing funny about her Britney Spears lines. This girl is at her wits end, trying to scrap together an ounce of dignity and you trash her and her children on national television? Have some compassion, you bitch. She makes EVERY award show she's at completely uncomfortable – yet you manage to keep inviting her back. MTV, you're to blame for that. But we're just getting started.

I don't even know what happened next. Perhaps we jumped to some performance in a hotel suite. Now, who's idea was this? Seriously? I want to know how this all unfolded. How can you even pitch the idea of several performance spaces? Did you NOT learn anything from your VMA nightmare in Miami where there were multiple stages inside one venue? Apparently not. Reports out of MTV were that they were making the show "tighter" and "getting back to the music" rather than focusing on the awards aspect. That sounded like a great idea, so what happened to it?

The show overall was chaotic, disjointed, and confusing. Why on earth would you want to join performances already in progress? Why would you think I, the viewer, would care to check in on various parties around Las Vegas? I wanted to see a show. A main stage show, where performers blew me away. That didn't happen.

On to the performances…

The performance of the night, hand-down, goes to Miss Alicia Keys. She's the only musician who a) sang live b) performed a full song c) showed any respect for her art. Thank you, Alicia.

Let's just say you know the show is a train wreck when Timbaland is lipsyncing. Tim, you're hot this year or whatever, you managed to lose a few pounds to finally fit in a tank top, good for you, but seriously, there's no reason to be lipsyncing or completely out of breath when you are standing behind a turntable pressing buttons. It's sad, bro. No wonder they brought Dr. Dre out. They were trying to remind you that you can be a great producer without having to perform on everyone's track. Just saying, take notes.

Nelly Furtado. I'm not even going to touch you. One of the best days of my life was when Mike introduced me to your CD "Folklore," that was also one of the worst. Do yourself a favor and distance yourself from Timbaland. You once were an inspired, creative, musician, now you're nothing more than a puppet in ill-fitting clothes.

Justin. I love you. I hate you. It's a never-ending battle. Do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut. Seriously. Just accept your role as eye-candy. When you open your mouth you sound like an insecure child.

Chris Brown. You are NOT Michael Jackson. It's one thing to emulate one of the greatest performers of all time (MJ), we all know Justin Timberlake has made a wonderful career out of it, but dude, why on earth must you come out dancing to MJ songs all the time. If it were a tribute concert, sure, right on, but it wasn't, it's time for you to establish yourself as an individual. Oh wait, you're just another puppet, hopefully you'll fade away soon.

Rihanna. I still don't get your appeal. You owe everything to Jay-Z attaching his name to yours and the Beyonce backlash. Beyonce would destroy you one on one – and I don't even like her all that much.

Fall Out Boy. What? Between the broken mics, barrage of random rappers, and drunkenness I couldn't understand a word that was said. Sad.

Foo Fighters. I would've loved to see you guys rip up the stage like old times, but yet again, MTV refused to allow us access. The cut-ins to random songs were too much to bear.

So in all, the VMAs were a huge disaster, yet we all know who will take the blame for them. Britney. MTV, I know you're catering to a younger audience now, you know, the ones that actually care about shows like Newport Harbor, and the Real OC, and every other California costal community, but realize you're the only one to blame for your demise.  What was once considered the medium/station to be a part of has now become the laughing stock of the industry. You're officially irrelevant.  Your station needs a re-vamping or maybe it needs to be shut down.

Oh, and Tila Tequila, do we really think that show needs to be seen by an already out of control youth of America? I think not.

Let me put it in a context you might understand:

Thnx 4 da memries – u suck.

PS - If you think I'm being a bit dramatic, I'd be more than happy to forward you at least 50 text messages from equally as disappointed folks.

Hey Guys-

It's been quite a while since I've last posted a blog, my apologies. Between work and of course our intense roundtable discussion (AP, Nic, Connie) I haven't had much time to hang out on myspace. Imagine THAT! But, I come to you with an important mission -- I'd like to help my good mate Paull spread the word of an wonderful project he's been dilligently working on. 

Paull's company Converseon (http://www.converseon.com/) has teamed up with a non-profit organization called PlantIt2020 (http://www.plantit2020.org/) and is one of the 50 finalists taking part in the American Express Members Project. The premise of AMEX members project is that cardmembers have the opportunity to decide on an idea that will help the world and AMEX will fund it. Just by registering to the site and voting AMEX will donate $1 to the project itself. I've watched quite a few of the finalists' submission and I have to say they are ALL very impressive. If you can spare some time, definitely check them out, but Converseon's use of Second Life is what caught my attention.

Paull and his incredibly talented colleagues have created the concept of Second Chance Trees to help plant One Million Trees in endangered rainforest regions through Second Life and the American Express Members Project.

To learn more about the project you can visit Paull's blog at Converseon's website: http://blog.converseon.com/2007/07/11/help-demonstrate-the-power-of-social-media-and-plant-a-million-trees/

Or you can check out Paull's personal blog at: http://youngie.prblogs.org/2007/07/12/100-hours-200-votes-could-1-million-trees/

At the very least, if you're an AMEX card holder, you can click here to register and vote: http://www.membersproject.com/Environment_Wildlife/991

I hope you'll all take a few minutes today to at least check out the projects, whether or not you choose to support Converseon's project or not. Kudos to AMEX for creating this program -- makes me happy to be a AMEX member (especially since I haven't seen any pre-sale ticket opps as they promised ) 

** Sorry the links are a bit funky at top. Myspace was hating on my linkage.

Dear Ticketmaster,

You suck.

Let me reiterate.

You really really suck.

Since I have been old enough to drive (about 9 years ago) to and from concerts, I've been one of your most loyal customers.  I can't even begin to recount the hours I've spent on your website researching, preparing, plotting, all to achieve one simple goal: to purchase the best possible seats humanly possible for any concert I attend.

Time and time again, I've failed. The harsh reality is that it's just not possible.

Perhaps I should put it in terms (read: dollars) that you may understand more clearly. I've spent a little over a $1,000 already this year on concert tickets (it's only MAY!). I've spent countless dollars on joining fanclubs and now even pre-ordering CDs just to gain "exclusive" access to pre-sale codes in order to (just once even) sit within throwing distance of any of my favorite artists.

I've feverishly typed those obnoxious little authorization codes with pinpoint accuracy, only to be notified that what I typed is incorrect. Impossible.

To no avail, each time I've failed.

I've given you the benefit of the doubt for far too long. It's just not possible that after all these years and all these concerts attended, that I can't manage to score not ONE pair of close seats. Not one.

I understand that I'm not the only person partaking in these pre-sale events or general sales, but still, the likelihood of NEVER getting seats in the floor of the arena is just crazy.

How is it possible that all those floor seats (at any venue) always manage to magically appear on Ebay within minutes of sales lines opening? That baffles me.

Scalping has always been part of the entertainment industry, which is something that infuriates me, but now I'm realizing that paying that extra $100 for the tickets I want might be a better option than suffering through the mind games, time, and frustration that goes along with your service.

I also have a bone to pick with your "customer service" department. To put it plainly. It sucks.

You've succeeded in making it impossible to speak with an actual human being to purchase tickets or even to inform them of a technical problem with your site. Now given the time sensitivity that goes along with purchasing tickets (you allot us 2:00 minutes), you THINK it would be practical to have an actual human being on hand to field any inquires, but you don't.

The one very rare occasion I actually spoke with a customer service rep to report a specific problem with your pre-sale link, he informed me that he "is unable to assist me." That was it. No alternate solution was given, no "I'll look into the problem." Nothing. Just that he was "unable to assist me."

His job as a customer service rep is to service (i.e. help) the customer (i.e. me), and couldn't nor did he even try. Amazing.

To sum up, you really really suck. I finally realize I will never beat the system (read: you) and therefore I will do my best to enjoy concerts from the shittiest (yet expensive) seats in the house.

Can you at least do away with the service fee (currently at $10.75 per ticket)? What exactly is that for? It's remarkable that I have to pay an additional cost on top of wasting my time and be annoyed, aggravated and frustrated by your damn website.

Sincerely,

Your #1 Customer.

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I have Lauryn Hill on the brain. She's been on my brain for a few weeks now, but it was more in the fleeting sense until today. It all started when I was walking around the magazine rack at a local Borders bookstore. Just trying to kill some time, I quickly scanned magazine covers in the music section when I saw a familiar, yet mysterious face staring back at me on the cover of URB magazine. No, it can't be, I thought. Lauryn Hill, a cover story?

Intrigued I picked up the magazine and sure enough it was her. Quickly I leafed through the pages until I came across another picture of her – the start of what I thought would be an interview. I was wrong. The journalist had set out to do an interview with Ms. Hill (as she now likes to be referred as), but came up empty. The story became a philosophical journey and interpretation of the enigma that Ms. Hill has become.

That day I went home and dusted off my "Mis-education of Lauryn Hill" cd. I got so far as to putting in my system, but couldn't bring myself to actually press play. I haven't been able to listen to Lauryn's music in years. I can listen to her stuff with the Fugees or collaborations, but not her solo stuff. I'm not exactly sure why, there are a few reasons, but one is that I find her disappearance from the music scene troublesome. She's become a ghost, but her presence still lingers. Every few years or so there are rumblings that the Fugees will reunite, then a single will emerge, then nothing more but empty promises.

There are all sorts of rumors out there as to why she walked away from the music industry. Money. Crazy. Brainwashed. Etc. All fit with the mystification that surrounds Lauryn and her career, but it all remains unclear as to what happened. The closest confirmation we've ever received from Lauryn herself (since she declines all interview requests or puts outlandish price tags on them) was at Dave Chappelle's "Block Party" concert where yet again, Lauryn surprised everyone by actually showing up for a Fugee reunion. A member of the audience audibly shouted out to Lauryn "where have you been?" to which she turned around and pointed to a toddler propped up on a speaker behind her and candidly remarked, "that's where I've been. That's where I've been."

But after that she disappeared yet again, just as quickly as she dizzyingly spits lyrics while on stage. Aside from URB's attempt to contact Lauryn, there hasn't been much said except for some communication (rumored to be) directly from Lauryn through a myspace page she had created. Blogs were posted, giving fans an inkling of hope that this time she'd emerge for good. That page has since ceased to be updated since February 2006. And now this…

Joss Stone, a young British soul singer, reached out everyday for 2 months to Lauryn's mom requesting to record a track with her daughter for Joss' upcoming album. Joss persisted and finally Lauryn's mom allowed for her to mail the track, but made no promise that Lauryn would participate. For reasons unknown to anyone (including Joss), Lauryn actually went into the studio and recorded vocals and a rap for Joss' track aptly entitled "Music." After all, music is one thing that always seems to bring Lauryn back – yet also makes disappear again.

I listened to "Music" for the first time last night and then again on repeat this morning all the way to work. Joss overpowers Lauryn's backing vocals, but you feel her in the chorus, lying low, simply haunting the track. Then you get to Lauryn's rap solo, a free verse assault reminiscent of what catapulted both Lauryn and the Fugees to stardom. It's tight, it's profound, it's simplistic, it's complex, and it beautifully crafts a lyrical scenery.

It makes me remember why I (and many) fell in love with Lauryn to begin with. An undeniable talent, relentless, strong, Lauryn was unafraid to verbally spar with the best of them in a male-dominated industry. She's not a rapper, she's a poet, willing and able to change a words inflection instantly rather than settle for an unworthy substitute. She's a singer that can steam-roll you with power, impress you with range, or break your heart with subtlety. She appealed to the masses, all races, all ethnicities, and both sexes. One of my generation's lost geniuses.

The line that resonates with me from "Music" is:

"Intangible, invisible, but undeniable"

For me, those 3 words personify the enigma that Lauryn Hill has become.

Hey Everyone-

It's been a while since my last post. I'm going to make this one rather brief on my end. A good friend of mine, Sean Hamel, is competing in NYC's Triathlon on July 22nd as a member of Team in Training (TNT). TNT is a sports training program funded by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society where participants of walks, marathons, triathlons, etc., help raise money for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma research and patient services. Each volunteer has to raise $2,500 (minimum) in order to meet their goal for the triathlon. If you have some extra money laying around -- please think about putting it to good use. I've included Sean's letter addressed to me below. For those of you who don't know Sean, he's an incredible guy, funny, smart and most importantly driven. He's extrememly excited to participate in TNT so please help support him in this endeavor. Any contribution (regardless of size) is greatly appreciated.

Sean's Letter:

Hi Jackie,

As you may or may not know, I recently signed up to participate in the Nautica New York City triathlon on July 22nd. The goal will be to swim .9 miles in the Hudson River, bike 25 miles through the streets of Manhattan and run 6.2 miles through Central Park to the finish line where I will raise my arms in triumph as I will surely have won (think positively, right?). I realize it seems strange to randomly sign up for a triathlon, and may be asking why I am doing this (believe me, I ask myself the same question every Saturday morning at 6am when I have to run with the other crazy people). In the beginning, it was just an excuse to force myself to exercise for the next 6 months and get in shape, meet new people (I just moved into the city!) and try something new, but recently I've come to realize this whole experience is more than that. It's bigger than me (hard to believe, I know).

On race day I will be competing in honor of Marie McGrory and Cynthia Gormezano, two extraordinary people. Maria is only 17 years old and has already fought and beat Hodgkin's Lymphoma (as of August she was cured!). Cynthia has been diagnosed twice with Hodgkin's Lymphoma but when asked what the worst part of having cancer is she answers, "Is there a worst part? Everybody has challenges. The best part is knowing that I will survive even the second time around!" Along with finishing the tri, I plan on raising at least $2,500 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in support of blood cancer research and patient assistance programs.

I am writing to ask for your support. Would you consider making a donation in support of my pledge? It's easy—you can visit my website (http://www.active.com/donate/tntnyc/shamel ) or send me a check made out to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society—both methods are 100% tax deductible (that's something IRS related I'm told). Please think big and give generously. With your help we have every reason to believe that a cure for blood cancers is in sight!..

I also ask you to please forward this on to anyone you feel would like to make a contribution, every little bit helps.

If..you have any questions or just want to talk about the program, please..feel free to contact me. Thank you so much for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon...

All the best,
Sean

If you know me, you knew it was coming.

Today is 9.26.2006, the day Janet Jackson officially returns to the music scene. The cd is "20 YO". or 20 years old and it's in reference to her debut of sorts in 1986 when Janet released her album "Control." Any Janet fan knows that "Control" was not her first album, as she had released two albums prior to it, but it was the first album where she felt represented as the artist she wanted to be.  By teaming up with producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, Janet formed a sound of her own and a bond that would stand the test of time in an increasingly fickle music industry. Think about it, today, artists (in any genre) are lucky to have a "career" that lasts 2 years; Janet has lasted 2 decades and is still going strong.

On to the album. Now, I've only listened to it in its entirety once so far (blame this unfortunate obligation called WORK), so I can't give you a breakdown of each individual track, but the album has passed my initial test. I listen to a lot of music, all types of music, but I always have the same approach. Listen to the album STRAIGHT through the first time around and get a first impression of each song. It's a good sign when you can listen to a song entirely and resist the temptation to skip to the next track. It's my way of saying that the artist has hooked me enough to make me WANT to know where the song is going, rather than being impatient and wondering what else there is.

20 YO is your standard Janet formula. Ok, so you're asking what is her standard formula? Well, you have your mid-tempo tracks, your up-beat tracks, your ballads, your interludes and everything in between, usually with an underlying theme that connects directly to Janet's current emotional state. 20 YO delivers on all those fronts. Janet wanted to make an album that was reminiscent of "Control" that her fans would appreciate and more importantly, understand. If you are not a Janet fan by now, you never will be and I think that is something she (and her label) have come to terms with. So she did what was best for herself and her fans. She made an album that channels "Control," pays hommage to it, without trying to replicate it, but also appeals to the current music climate.

Janet fans need to embrace this cd and see it for what it is, not what they WANT it to be. It's been a common topic amongst us fans, that so far 20 YO is not what we were expecting. I also had that feeling when I heard the first single "Call On Me," but then I thought "what were we expecting?" Were we expecting another "Control", "Rhythm Nation", "Janet", or "Velvet Rope"? For you "younger" Janet fans, were you expecting another "All For You" or "Damita Jo"?

Yeah, we were…. and 20 YO isn't any ONE of those albums, but it is a PIECE of each of them. Listen closely. You'll hear the lyrical references and intro chords to past songs, in some instances she leaves you wondering if perhaps certain tracks are a continuation of sorts from songs on "Control." My first reaction was that 20 YO is 1986 meets 2006, it's Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis meets the "Dirty South."

Jimmy and Terry keep the dance beats flowing, the synths rockin', while JD adds heavy, gritty beats, mixed with a confident swagger that Janet has mastered over the years. Listen to her voice. On "Control" Janet was trying to convince people (and even herself) that she was in control of her destiny by breaking away from her family's influence. On 20 YO, one thing is clear, Janet IS in control. She's happy, it's genuine, and she's finally stopped caring what others think of her, she doesn't care about the money or album sales. She cares about herself, her family, her man, and her fans!

So far the critics have been less than kind when it comes to reviews of 20 YO. They can say it's fluff, or that Janet has lost her edge, and so on… but the truth of the matter is they've already made up their mind about what they want the album to be before they truly listen to it. Janet knows this. She addresses it in the album's intro. She says, " There's something to be said for not saying anything. I've talked about racism, spousal abuse, empowering women, children. I've talked about a lot of things. What do I talk about this time? I've covered a lot in my 20 years. And I've uncovered a lot in my 20 years. But I wanna keep it light. I don't wanna be serious. I wanna have fun…"

To Janet –  Have fun, enjoy. You've spent much of your life under the microscope, it's time to let loose! More importantly, thanks for being you. That's all we ask for as fans.

To all the Janet fans - Lets support our girl. She deserves it.

To everyone who is not a fan of Janet and still read this, take note. Janet is the perfect example of an entertainment industry vetern. Even for those who aren't fans of pop – it is releveant to your artist of preference. Think about it. It takes talent, hard work, and the desire to sustain a musical career that spans decades – that should be appluaded regardless.