Pillow fighter, like a tiger, only the puddles of uncertainty shimmer under the muted moon.
Like a cast forward, gnawing and knowing, light hits the dust and a blizzard is born in the space between thoughts.
Keeping time with the last days of fallacy, the description is ripened to a sweet pulp that soaks up all the attention in the room. Somewhere in the distant closeness, a tiny vibration is off the chain, and a mind has stolen a way into itself.
Lazy leaves rustle with disinterest, fierce hearts put up plastic jungles to machete through, and it is written in prophecy that the world will end if all the microwave ovens beep at once. Breezes breathe through your house, through the windows and past the four of clubs.
The world is full of dinged chisel blades, worn and scratched from carving trillions of engraved disinvitations.
How high would all the fire we have ever made reach?
Blatant infractions and calculated reactions, relive your life between the contractions.
Pine needles flow like very slow water down the hill, the reach ponders the existence of the grasp.
Fleshed out with fresh doubt, the footprint on the page has marked it's punctuation.
Power on, flavored soldier, the smoothness of entrancement beacons from the "wait a minute..." moments.
Impenetrable fancies wish away all the novice reckonings, ripples along the lifetime from smile to bed. The woods are full of cadence calls and life savings. Unassuming and underblooming, that garden looks different first thing in the morning.
Carry away the day.
Carry away the day.
Sights roll around in heads like the moon rolls around the world

Due to the overwhelming feelings I have had last night and today, I feel beyond compelled to write on this rainy evening, about everything that is going through my head.

As a 37 year old in the United States, I can remember very few events that were what can be referred to as "Where were you when...?" moments. The first one that comes to mind is 9/11, for obvious reasons. Other events, not as epic, but just as real were the explosion of the Challenger, and the death of John Lennon.
These experiences, in our collective consciousness, have a common theme; we all heard bad news, and mourned together. The generation before mine had the Kennedy assassination, as well as other tragedies. They also got to be witness to the first man to walk on the moon.

As some pundits have stated it, we had a "man on the moon" event last night. Barack Obama is the first African American to be voted as President of the United States. There can be no argument that history has been made.

So how did I spend this historic day?
As any photographer worth his lens cap would, I decided to document it. Heading out with my trusty Canon axe around my neck, I ventured down to the Multnomah County election office, to see what was cookin', and I was not disappointed. I line of people clung to the wall, stretching half way around the block sized building (we do have early mail-in voting in Oregon, but some people, especially for this election, I suspect, wanted to make this an actual event in their lives, like in the not so old days).

One thing that immediately struck me was the election officials who were helping with the outside drive-through ballot boxes. I could feel their excitement and pride in being a part of something this monumental.
After about an hour and a half of meandering around the area snapping photos, I made my way to a nearby Starbucks for my free coffee. Normally, i like to patronize locally owned places, but I figured since they were giving it away, I would be silly not to partake.

I then made my way over to a party I was invited to at The Blitz, hoping to get some election reaction shots. I got in, got cozy, watched and waited. I enjoyed several discussions on possible outcomes of the night, and what an Obama win would mean. The crowd grew as the huge screen glowed with more and more updates and cheesy holograms.


Then, it happened.





Ohio.


This was the first wave of the cheer tsunami that drenched the world last night. From a photographer's standpoint, I got some decent images, but from strictly an observer's standpoint, I was overwhelmed. When the polls finally closed here on the West Coast, the words came on the screen
"Barack Obama winner".
That was it, I was frozen in a moment in time. "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" came on over the speakers, and I was almost outside my own body with the ever illusive "Oh....my...God...." feeling that we have all had at one time or another.

I stayed for another hour, and then ventured home to check updates on the web. I was especially interested to see how my native state of Indiana had voted (no Dem since '64). I perused The Huffington Post and looked at images of celebrations all over the world, and swelled up with pride and happiness.
I ended up going to be about 2am, and lay awake for another hour or so, taking it all in and contemplating what had just happened. I pondered to myself
"He did it.
Yes!
Now, can he do it?"

A friend of mine had told me that he would not be voting for Obama. He would not be voting for McCain either. "May the best snake-oil salesman win." he sarcastically quipped. He had told me he would either be voting for Nader or writing in Ron Paul, because both major parties were too corrupt, and any candidate was already bought and sold by special interest.
To no small extent, I must say I agree with him. There is a George Carlin rant I found on Youtube that makes a lot of sense to me.

I have made a choice. I have chosen to lay down my shield of cynicism about politicians this time. Some may call me gullible, a pollyanna or just a wishful thinker, but I feel that this is different.

I have done research, listened to him speak and thought about his ideas. I do feel that his is the right person for the job (and believe me, it's not going to be a fun job. I wouldn't want it). What I get from him is that this is the most sincere person I have seen elected to this office in my lifetime.

The feeling I have gotten from all these people who believe in him so much, and the fact that he has clearly stated that while he will do his best, it is up to US to really make the changes we seek. This was not the usual "lesser of two evils" presidential race. People came out like nobody's business to get this guy in office, because they feel something.

Granted, some will always expect it to be done for them, but this time, I really feel like we have all been elevated enough to go about this task of making the world a better place.

Barack Obama embodies what my company, Three Spirits Press is all about. Getting out there to the people with "Yes we can!" (don't worry, I'm not stealing that phrase, just borrowing it, nor is this a sales pitch for us).

If we all can raise ourselves just a little bit higher, whatever way we as individuals feel that may be, we can make amazing changes.
I'm not talking about magic dust or miracle workshops or anything like that, I'm talking about doing what you can to make the world better. Help a neighbor with their groceries, do a random act of kindness for a stranger, volunteer at a shelter, help someone that needs it, help someone find a job, make amends with an enemy, find a problem in your area of your town, and go about fixing it, become a community organizer (I think we all found out what one of THOSE is capable of).
Do something that you believe in, that you feel will improve life.

We all know that true change must start from within. I feel that it can be sped up by also reaching out.

Tonight, I feel inspired, tapping into the energy that is buzzing all round the globe tonight, especially in this country. I say let's not let this be an instance where we start off full of great intentions and then fizzle out into apathy and the daily grind. Let's actually make this one count.

A little over five years ago, I made one of the most important decisions of my life. Packing up everything I owned in a station wagon and small trailer, I ventured across the United States to move from Indiana to Portland. I was alone, excited and had never been that far west before. I had looked at Portland on a map almost a year earlier, and thought to myself "That's my new home!"
There has not been one day that I have ever actually considered moving anywhere else.

As anyone who has essentially started a whole new life would, I have gone through periods where it felt as though I were on another planet. Just one glance at the majestic peak of Mt. Hood in the distance though, reminds me of why I came here.
Portland, to me, is more than a city; it is almost an entity unto itself. This town seems to have made a promise to me that no matter how long I live here, she will keep revealing her secrets to me, as long as I keep appreciating them.

This project is my way of giving something back to the place that reminds me often how Portland and I chose each other. I came here and it opened its arms. This book is not only a way to help those in crucial need by part of the profits going to the Oregon Food Bank, but it also enables me to create a tribute to what has become my favorite city of all the places I have lived.
Existing here for the time I have as a "transplant", I have made it a point to take in as much as possible. I have my camera with me often, and also shoot assignments that lead me all over the area. Upon going through these images, the idea came to me that I could actually do a really cool book about Portland. And thus, "Portland Is…" was born.

As an artist, I like to think I see the world a little differently than most. I have trained myself to observe what others may overlook, and see the beauty in it. I have spent years honing my skill to be able to translate that through the camera. With this book, my hope is to show a small slice of what I feel this town is all about. Beyond the postcard images and tourism brochures, there is an energy here that one must be immersed in to really appreciate. This is a culture that truly lets someone be who they are, as well as leaves room to evolve as an individual and as a community.

My experiences here have brought me to a whole new level as a person. I am doing this book because of the way a sunny Fall afternoon in Sellwood Park makes me feel.
I am doing this book because of the time I went to Sauvie Island and saw eight bald eagles circling overhead at once.

I am doing this book because of the rainy day I went to Edgefield and sat in a comfy chair next to the window, and was taken back a time of feeling safe and happy at my grandma's farm in Indiana. I am doing this book because of the pride I felt sitting downtown in a jury box for the first time in my life, knowing I was in my own small way, helping the city run.

I am doing this book because of the punching guitar sound that made me feel so alive during a Dead Moon show at Dante's, that I only had to pay five bucks to see. I am doing this book because of the kids I see out on Hawthorne and at dozens of events, collecting signatures and working for social change because they believe in it.

I'm doing this book because even on days when the deck seems stacked against me, there is at least one "Portland thing" that shows up to give me a smirk. I am doing this book because of the numerous conversations I have had over a pint or two, both with friends and strangers, about what an amazing place this is. I am doing this book because of the "Whoa!" that escaped my lips as I stood under the St. John's Bridge in the aptly named Cathedral Park.

I am doing this book because of how many people here know that if you find a wounded bird, you take it on over to the Audubon Society rehabilitation center. I am doing this book because of the intense beauty seen driving at night over the bridge on I5, right next to downtown. I am doing this book because of the way the winter fog lurks around the top of the pines in the morning on Rocky Butte.

I am doing this book because of the time I looked out my front window and was excited to see a pheasant walking about in the yard. I'm doing this book because of how welcome and appreciated I was made to feel when photographing a 50th wedding anniversary party, surrounded by mostly people I had never met before.

I am doing this book because Portland has helped me remember that being of service to others is the greatest thing a person can do. Portland is… will help those who need it, get enough to eat. No one can excel and live up to their full potential if they are hungry. People here not only make it a point to help others, they have made it a part of the culture itself.
I could go on and on about the reasons I am doing this project, but the bottom line is, I am doing this because I love Portland.

She's into Carl Jung.


She's into My Morning Jacket.



She's into the nature of life itself.




She's amazing.

On Monday of this week, I had my first ever experience with jury duty. (No, I was never on the other side of one either! Forget what you've heard.;-)
I went to the Multnomah County Courthouse, as instructed, at a little before 8am. I made my way through the metal detector, and went down the hall to que up in line to get registered and show that I was there. I sat in the large jury selection room, and waited. I kept looking at the "Juror" badge around my neck, thinking it was like having a backstage pass for a band...and that band is called Jurisprudence.
The first case they called for was for a grand jury. I did not get selected, even when they had to call for more people because the first batch didn't all stick when tossed against the wall.
I began to wonder just how long I would be there, and realized why so many people had brought books. I did get to leaf through a National Geographic from 1984. I think that Gary Hart guy is a shoe-in.
The third call was the charm. This was for a different case, but I was still excited. We went up to the court room, and answered the questions the judge and lawyer asked. I got selected for the trial, and went up into the jury box with 5 others, and nearly tumbled to the floor when leaning back too far in the chair.
The case itself was not as thrilling as  it could have been, just a property damage  dispute (Some driver allegedly hit a parked car one night last year, and then left without leaving a note or anything).
The whole thing went very quickly, and we were out of there by 4pm, even with one of the jurors getting  chewed out because he was talking with a witness during the lunch break.
As I was leaving the courthouse, feeling a little bummed that I was not able to keep my juror badge as a souvenir, I mostly just felt very happy with what I had  done. This was the first time I had ever even been called, and I had been wanting it for some time. I am very happy that I got to participate in it. During the day, I heard a couple people bitching and moaning about "having" to do jury duty. One guy was going on about all the excuses he has made in the past in order to get out of it.
I told him that I felt very greatful to live in a place where this can occur. Yes, the system needs some fixin' but the mere fact that we operate on a daily basis by allowing individuals to have a trial by jury, reminds me that we do have a lot going for us, and we have a lot of freedom.  
I am happy that I got to do my civic duty on that day. And the next time I am called upon, I will proudly  be there, first thing in the morning, to do my part to help justice prevail!



Unless I'm busy...or just don't fuckin' feel like it.

;-)

So I decided to take a trip out to the Tillamook Forest this past Saturday. As with any great planner, I decided this about 2 in the afternoon, grabbed the camera and took off.

I was barrelling down Highway 26, and saw some side roads to my right. I thought this looked like as good a place as any to begin exploring, so I turned onto one of them. It was basically a logging road with a name. Mostly uphill, dusty and scenic (I did not see one other vehicle the entire time I was there, which is exactally what I wanted).

I drove way up into the forest, stopping from time to time to get out and walk around. After a while, I began to get frustrated about not seeing any animals bigger than my forearm, and also about seeing open fields of tree guts and briar patches, laying around from all the logging. (the fact that I had just the day before, been photographing a lumber yard for a client, wasn't making me feel too good about it either).

I pulled myself back to being me again, and took in all the beautiful things around me. "Look where you're at!" I said to myself as I walked along the empty road, with only blue skies and huge pines around me. 

The sun started to get lower, so I thought it best to head back before it got dark (there were very abrupt drop-offs to one side of many stretches of the roads, and I didn't want to negotiate them at night).

I began to realize, as I was driving, that I didn't quite remember the ways I had taken to get to where I was at that point. In other words, I was sorta lost. I went up a couple roads that seemed logical, and they both dead-ended within a mile. I was so glad I drive a jeep, because a regular car may not have been able to turn around in a tight space lke that. (One dead-end, I had to back out a few hundred yards down a very narrow road)

I eventually came to a fork in the road. Both paths looked equally travelled, and both equally unfamiliar. "Well, shit...now what?" I sat there and though. Just then, I looked out of my windshield and saw a small butterfly, going along. It fluttered toward the right, seeming to go down one of my directional choices.

Without a second guess, I went down that road. I soon began to recognize things "Hey, I know that branch! I've seen that clear-cut before!" Soon I was back down at the highway, heading home. It was only upon having a beer later on in Portland, that it really hit me what had happened.

I am so greatful that I live in a world that works like this. Amazing things happen when you are open to them. 

 

 

 

This has been a very interesting week for me. I have been to a place within myself that I partially forgotten about, and the rest, I didn't know was there.

The backstory: I had created an opportunity for myself to photograph a 3 day even in Los Angeles this weekend. It would have been a volunteer gig, but there were several reasons that I really wanted to do it, such as finally meeting a friend in person, and doing some networking for Three Spirits Press.

I found out on Monday that if I were to go there, I would be responsible for my own airfare. Well, by that point, most flights were between $400 and $500, an amount that I did not feel comfortable spending right now. I made up my mind: "If I am to do this, I will get there and back for $200 or less". Not an impossible request, even for those who don't believe in the Law of Attraction.

So, my seach began in earnest (wow, that may be the first time I have used that phrase in writing...anyway...)

I checked the usual places, such as Orbitz, Priceline and shootyoufromacanon.com, and had no luck. I asked many friends if they knew any way to do this, for the price I had in mind. A few websites were named, like Sky Auction and Site 59. Getting closer, but not there yet. I checked Craigslist and Ebay, and also made several postings. I did find a round trip to LA from Portland, at the right dates and at $200. By the time I called though, it was gone.

I checked trains as well. The money was better, but the time was much too long (I worked until 10pm on Thursday night, otherwise I could have left earlier).

I was on the phone and the net a good portion of the days leading up to the trip, confident that it would come through. A friend told me about someone she knew who always flew "standby", at unbelievably cheap fares. This was the last thing I could think of, so I went to the airport late last night, and waited for the ticket counters to open up. The trains had stopped running earlier, so I ended up cabbing it to the airport. It all felt very natural.

All three airlines that had LA flights that morning told me the same thing. "We don't do that. If you get a standby seat, you would have to already have a ticket in the first place." (Their words said "sorry", but their eyes said "Go home, dumbass." ;-)

With that, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I was exhausted from taking short naps in the airport chairs, and not having much sleep to begin with. I waited for the Max (the Portland train) to take me back.

As I stood there in the small hours of the morning, I began thinking "Shit. I failed. How can I create anything in my life, if I couldn't even do this simple thing of getting my ass somewhere that I wanted to be?"

That voice quickly was drown out by the sound of me applauding myself in my mind (I was so punchy by that point, I probably wasn't far off from doing it literally). I realized that it didn't matter that I didn't get a flight. Something better was in the works for me, and it will be revealed when it is time for it.

I focused on how happy I was with myself for doing all that I had done. I kept going until the end, and I drew upon an inner strength, calm and determination that surprised even me (and I have done some pretty amazing things). This whole experience has been a tremedous opportunity for me to remember what I'm made of.

The person I wanted to meet, I will get to meet later. The business connections I wanted to make will either be made later, or there are more appropriate ones for me. I know this, for no other reason than "I know this".

I feel very good about my tenacity and also about my ability to see and feel myself in a desired situation.

And who knows, if I had gone to Los Angeles, I might have gotten berated by Alec Baldwin or something. (sorry, too soon? ;-)

Today has been an amazing day. It has been one of those oh so common "roller coaster days" (daze).
I won't go into the downs that happened, because those are there to move out from under.
One turely memorable thing that happened today occured at my workplace, Delivered Dish, where I am a dispatcher.
The drivers all got together and and got me (and the other two dispatchers) a card, with a bit of monitary appreciation in it.
This had never happened before, that I know of, in the 4 years that the company has existed.
One person spearheded the inititive, and presented the gift to me today.
I don't feel self-conscious in saying that I almost cried.
I get along with everyone there, even when some nights get a bit hairy, but I never expected anything like this.

It also brought me back to a place of appreciation for EVERYONE  in my life, everything that I have, and everything I am.

Thank you to all who read this, old friends and new, for being who you are.

With love,
Jason

I finally remembered.

 

 

One bite at a time.