The Night Before Jesus Came T'was the night before Jesus and all through the house, Not a creature was praying, not one in the house. Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care, In hopes that Jesus would not stop by there. The children were dressing to crawl into bed, Not one ever kneeling, or bowing a head. And Mom in her rocker with a babe on her lap, Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap. When out of the East there arose such a clatter, I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash! When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here. With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray, I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY! The light of His face made me cover my head. It was Jesus! Returning just like He said. And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth, I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself. In the Book of Life which He held in His hand, Was written the name of every saved man. He spoke not a word as He searched for my name; When He said, "It's not here" . . my head hung in shame. The people whose names had been written with love, He gathered to take to His Father above. With those who were ready, He rose without sound, While all the rest were left standing around. I fell to my knees, but it was too late; I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate. I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight; Oh, if only we had been prepared for this night. In the words of this poem the meaning is clear; The time for His coming is drawing near. There's only one life and when comes the last call. We'll find what He told us was true after all

Here my prayer O Lord and let my cry come unto thee. Hide not thy face from me from me in the days when I am in trouble; incline thine ear unto me: in the day when I call answer me speedily.

O very the past few weeks I have  been feeling kind of down. I have had alot of things hit me at once and its amazing I didnt just brake. I guess God is workin  in me in someway. But so is the devil in a way. I know not to harm myself and I know God doesn't want me to but its like the Devil is like go ahead it wont be that bad. I know its wrong but its easier. It will make me feel better even if its just for a moment. I don't want the feeling to just last for a moment but a lifetime. Its just hard. Its extra extra hard especially since I never dealt with anything in my life. I would usually just put it in the back of my mind and leave it there.

The thoughts of cutting and purging is really hard to deal with sometimes especially when the desire comes and you know wat is wrong and wat is right. I have been praying abuot these feelings and I know wat the answer is its just like I do but i don't want to follow it like really. Like I just want to to all stop. I want the spinning to stop.

Hi

You want to no what I have realized about my life? My life isn't my own my life is everyone else's. (Not is a bad way) Like my life is here to help other people to the best of my ability even if it is just picking up a piece of paper for them.

You want to no what I realized about my life ? It is precious. It is needed. I may not think so all the time but it is. I am here for a reason. I may not know what that is right at this moment but my time will come.

You want to know what what Irealized a my life? God loves me. People love me for me and not for what I look like or anything else just me.  

Luv always.....................

Melinda

By Joshua Busby
tteenministries at aol dot com

Who am I? That's a thought, just who am I? I am a man, a feeble, sinful man with an imperfect body that is falling apart day-by-day. Who are you? Think about it a few minutes…..Casting Crowns sings the following song, "Who am I?" which echoes Psalm 8:4 ^"What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"  

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

" Copyright - Who Am I by Mark Hall
(c) 2003 SWECS Music / Club Zoo Music (BMI), admin. by EMI CMG Publishing."

"Who am I?", is a song of amazement that a holy, powerful God would even be concerned about us and our affairs. Mankind is like a flower quickly fading. We are here today and gone tomorrow. We are like a wave tossed in the ocean and a vapor in the wind. Yet God still hears us when we are calling and he catches us when we are falling. The God who sees our sins chooses to look on us with love and watch us rise again. That is an awesome thought isn't it? We do not serve a laid back God that just sits up on his holy throne and could care less about his creation. Instead we serve a God who "tells us who we are", as the song, says "I am yours"   God is not obligated to have such a relationship with us and call us HIS own: sinful, rebellious, fallen humans, yet he choose to do so.  He chose to come to earth as a man and die on the cross, so that we can have a relationship with him and experience salvation and have eternal life with him forever. We also serve a God who does not turn his back on us when we sin and fall as Christian or when we go through the storms of life. He calls out to us in our sin, pain, grief and despair and he calms that storm within us. Who are you? That the Lord of all the earth would care to even know your name or care to feel your hurt? You are "his" that's who you are if you have come to him through Jesus.

What did I do? Was I wrong for just being  myself ? Was I suppose to act diferent like a slut or something was I suppose to just give in an surrender when I didnt want to? Should I have just let him have his way with me Should I just move on as if nothing ever happened? Should I just forget and forgive? What did I do? Did I say somethin so wrong?Did he find me so cute that he had to just harm me as if I meant nothing? AS IF I WAS JUST ANOTHER GIRL AND NOT HIS GIRLFRIENDS DAUGHTER? Am i wrong that every night tears come to my eyes cuz I can't get passed it? Is it me am I just takin this the wrong way or something? Maybe I mistaking maybe thats wat was suppose to happen to me maybe things are suppose to be this way?

Thsi is the end for now mayybe I'll come back maybe not

but love you anyway

Melinda

I have been on vacation for about a week and some days and my life just seems to be spinning out of control. Everything I try to do to make it stop nothing works I no I am in a battle and order for me to win  I have to trust God that he will make a way. But I am weak. I dont have the power to win. I feel as if I am losing this battle. If one more thing happens to me I thing I might just fall apart and give up. I wont kill myself but I no that I wont be myself any more you will see me walking around and I put on the frunt for u but inside I will be dead I will haave no hopes dreams or desires I will will just exist in this world as a no body. Right now theres only one thing that is keeping me from getting there and since everything seems to be leaving me I dont no how long this will last. But I hope it does cuz I dont want to  check myself in again  but yea i guess my vacation has been as good as i wanted it to.

My life is anything but normal. I live in New York City with my father and stepmother. I am not a average teenager/young adult. I have faced many obstacles in my shorrt life. I have struggles with almost every teen problem. I have amazing ablities but I am yet to figure out what those things are. I that I have the ability to write poems and shorts stories so maybe I will write a book (once I develop some patients) I like science alittle so I have decided I want to be a doctor so I can help people with issues that only a physician can help them with and problems they could fix but dont no exactly how. I also want to be a doctor becuz I want to help those people who are cutters and other self mutalaters. Since I am or was (not really sure yet which one) one I could help then understand what is happening bettter .

Being Me has been extremely hard over the past few years since i am a cutter. But I will go deeper into that  later So bye bye now

So I will be blogging about my life as a Senior and my walk as a christian. So if you would like to indulge in my life and see the greatnesses and the hardship. But dont decide now, Tune in for my first real blog and decide then.

Love you alway

melinda aka melly (to some people)