A week ago tomorrow I will have lost one of the most influential beautiful people I have ever encountered in my life, my sweet sweet grandmother.  The viewing is Friday and I am sure to be a complete mess trying to keep it together.  For my grandfather, I can't imagine.  They were married for 59 years, and you could always see it in his eyes just how much he loved her.  They had a beautiful story.  She was living in Puerto Rico, when a tall young sailor, became smitten with her.  His stay in Puerto Rico was brief, but his memory of her was not.  She moved to New York, and exchanged letters with him for 2 years.  He would travel from where he was stationed to simply take her to dinner and the movies.   They have been on this journey called life together ever since. 

I spoke to her, seems as if only yesterday.  Three weeks ago we spoke, and she was in decent health.  That conversation, one of our most touching conversations, would be our last.  I asked her how they met, and you could hear the delight in her voice as she told me their story.  She told me just how lucky she was to have him, and she surely was.  We spoke of how much she and I loved each other.  She spoke of how much my mother and grandmother meant to her.  She wished I was there, as did I.  I thanked her for the beautiful music box she sent me for Christmas....always so sweet.  I just can't get it out of my head; all my memories of her are so so vivid.    

I decided to write a little something for the funeral, and it goes like this:                 

Maria, my beloved grandmother, my Tata, my beloved teacher of love and generosity, will forever be in my heart.  Since my entrance into this world, I have been blessed and showered with her love.  She is second to none.  She gave so much of herself to our family, always thoughtful, always beautiful.  I love her and miss her dearly.        

I will miss her soothing voice, her thoughtfulness, her beautiful rendition of happy birthday, her embrace, her love of dancing, her soothing humming of the greatest big band hits, her smile, her beauty, her love, her scolding me to brush my hair, wear a dress, and to eat more.  She is one of a kind.  This world has been honored with her presence and will never be the same without her.     

From the famous West Side Story, these lyrics say it all:

The most beautiful sound I ever heard:
Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria . . .
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word. . .
Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria . . .
Maria!

I am forever grateful and am so blessed to be her granddaughter, forever in my heart, Maria. 

Okay now.  Where do I start? 

Work:  Ups and downs.  So the merger went through, but they gave the pink slip to my favorite boss ever.  Bad move on their part and kind of a knife in the back if you ask me!  We all thought great we are bought by this profitable company, we're as good as gold.  Right?  Wrong!  Yesterday we get this memo, that uh, we can't meet our margin calls and therefore cannot fund any loans.  Okay, so you know I can do the math.  No loans=bye bye mortgage company=unemployment line for Melissa.  Oh and the funny thing, which was totally coincidental, I had shot a gun for the first time at a shooting range (yes it was a hot date, we'll touch on that later) and proceeded to bring in my holy target with all my .22s that went through it and waved it in front of the reception camera before I read the memo.  Than I thought OMG they're going to think I'm going to go postal.   

Family:  I got to see my cousin after the Police concert the weekend before last!  God I miss him.  He's so awesome.  We couldn't stop talking, we had so much to talk about.  I got to see my grandmother and my mother two times this week!  That's unusual, but you know I wish it happened more!  We took my grandmother out for dinner, and I stayed and talked to her for hours.  She is truly a fascinating woman!  I'm oh so lucky to be apart of my family! 

Home life:  Well it was the end of an era.  Bonnie has left 409.  She's lived with us for 4 years.  We already have a new roomie lined up-YAY for Erin!  Poor Vaughn, he's going to have 3 pesky dykes running around.  Add his dog and our girls, and he's got a lot of estrogen to contend with.  My new bathroom is coming along.  I'm almost done tiling the shower.  Now all I have to do is grout, seal grout, add fixtures, put a new window in, sand, prime, paint, lay self leveling cement, tile, set toilet, add light fixture, add vanity, door knobs, accessories and face plates, buy a shower curtain, and call it complete.  Yeah I'll have that done by tomorrow...right?  Now I know why people HIRE people to do these things.  (check pictures for progress)  

General:  I'm getting my ass in gear, and signed up for two more graduate classes for the fall.  I can't wait to not have a life.  But I hear master's degrees add that extra hotness bonus.  I love my overachievers, I might as well step up to the plate and be one too 

The love life:  Oh yeah, oh hell yeah!  So, I don't know what took me so long.  I should have known nothing ever works with a girl, if I DON'T meet them online.  It's an unwritten rule, or completely a trend at least for me.  I could have been cheezing all the time 6 months ago, but opted to try more traditional avenues.  Silly me.  So I put an ad up on match.  Well holy crap, never did I think I was such a hot commodity.  35 responses in two weeks.  I was like can I date 35 women?  Do I have that kind of time?  Nah, I'm a one woman kind of girl.  So, I did a little search of my own, and here comes Steph :).  Let's just say I'm a happy happy girl doing my little happy dance.  More to come!       

Was a VERY VERY good day :)

YAY

YAY

This past Saturday, I took a stroll down memory lane.  Minna and I drove down to attend a wedding in Lexington Park that day.  It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I was feeling like I was home.  Every so often I make it there.  As I drove down Route 4, it kept getting more and more intense.  The closer I got, the more memories rushed in.  It was a pure rush, in more ways than one. 

As I drove down my old street, my memories seemed so fresh, so vivid.  Home.  As I took it all in, I spotted where I had my first photo op on my first new bike with training wheels with grandpa's hat three sizes too big plopped on my head, I remembered building my first snowman with my dad (bundled up so tight, I could hardly walk),  I thought of a story my dad once told me about how he had slaved putting up the fence (that's still there) around our almost acre, once it was done, they let me go play, and in under two minutes flat, I had escaped out the front gate.  All that work for nothing, lol.  I remembered the family reunions we'd have, my mother being as sweet and thoughtful as she always is, oh and of course I remember chasing the girls around the playground (some things never change).   

I was at peace.  It's amazing how a little drive down memory lane can do that to you.   It was just what I needed!

It was a time in my life, that was always filled with innocence and love.  I knew no different.  Then again, my world was my family.  Now, it's different.  I think the world of my family, but now my world seems to be so much bigger.   And from what I have learned, bigger isn't always better.  True, there is more love.  But then again, there is this whole other side I had never experienced when I was younger.  That being, reality. 

As well as I sometimes think I've adapted and adjusted to this newish found state of the world, sometimes I don't think I'm anywhere close to grasping it all.  To this day, I still am baffled by things like that ignorance is blissful or that people would actually want to hurt each other or any living thing, or people simply not having respect for others, or people not trying to be the best they can be.  All of it, makes my face crinkle up from confusion.   I'm 30 years old, but sometimes I wonder if I'm really even ready.        

To be continued...gotta get some zzz's