Although I try to help these kids out, and give them tools and tips to look attractive, and be confident, there is one problem that really holds me back from giving a definitive answer to that often asked question, "How can I make myself attractive to girls?"

Thing is, I don't know why I'm* attractive to girls, nor do I think of myself that way. I just carry myself in a way that seems to entice certain women in my direction, and my energy/aura is just infectious when I tend to go out and make my rounds.

So how am I attractive? or how can others be that way? Not sure. I try to tell everyone to adopt a certain demeanor, fix your looks, etc etc, but that can only do so much. Eventually, you're going to slip back into old habits, or unconfident body language, or whatever, and no one will see you because you're not making progress, or getting a lot of positive results.

In all honesty, for any of my advice to work, you have to go out and do it. To  gain confidence talking to people, you need to go out and chat with random people, and have normal conversations and realize that they won't kill you. In order to get that self-esteem boost that you are actually good with women, you need to successfully pull a few, get a few numbers, call em up, notice how they enjoy your company, etc etc. To rock school, you have to push yourself to be better than everyone else, not procrastinate, do what you need to when you need to.

Read as much as you want, but words can only do so much. It takes action behind them to actually accomplish anything, or the time it took to digest my words is better spent going another round on CS:S against British 12 year olds.

~Njord the Wise

So I figured I'd do something every weekend to highlight some of the insane music I like. I recently visited one of my favorite band's myspace, and saw that they only had an avg. 5000 plays on each song. Once I finished banishing every one on their friend's list to the pits of Hel, in an insane and manly fit of rage of course, I then proceeded to add their entire album to my playlist in order to spread their genius music, upbeat style, and rambunctious kick-ass demeanor.



Matt Johnson and Kim Schifino make up the genius that is Matt&Kim. With Matt rocking the lead vocals with his unique, upbeat style and killing the tracks with nothing but a keyboard in his hands, Kim keeps it going with a few backgrounds to sign the deal, and KILLER drum patterns that make you want to dance your ass off to every song they rock. It's simple shit, without all the smoke and mirrors, and it WORKS.

I got into this band when their video for Daylight danced across my TV at 5AM, and woke me up with it's awesomeness. I then proceeded to dance my ass off all over my bed, in nothing but my boxers and absolutely no shame. I was instantly hooked to their style, and super sweet attitude. These guys are like crack to the ears, except they're actually good for you. Listen to them on a bad day, and I swear you won't help but feeling like the world is just a giant playground.

So first up in Njord's Awesome Playllist is the kick ass duo of Matt and Kim. Much love to them, hope they gain many fans and that they never stop making this sweet ass music.
Yea Yeah - Matt & Kim
Lightspeed - Matt & Kim (fanmade)
5K - Matt & Kim

So I finally posted pics of myself in commemoration for a successful year spreading my word/work. It's been fun, and probably won't last too much longer under this name, which is why I don't really give a damn about showing my pics now anyways.

Plus, a lot of people felt I was "insecure" or whatever bullshit just because I wouldn't show my face. In reality, I was just too cheap to buy a cam. The hilarious story behind these pics though, I actually got this cam for a dollar.

Story Time:
Njord walked in Wal-mart with $40 cash and a $20 gift card from who knows when. He wanted to buy a webcam for cybering, some razors to make him pretty, and some stationary to write letters/thoughts/stories/etc and shit. So, I get all that, and the total comes out to be $41 bucks. I hand the girl the $40 cash and then give her the gift card to swipe for the last dollar. She swipes it, bags my shit, and then hands me back the receipt, with change. I thought nothing of it for a few seconds until I realized that I wasn't supposed to get change back. I didn't even take chances. I stuck it all in my pocket, and walked out with my stuff as fast as I could, paranoid just warping me as I wait for the inevitable, "HEY YOU! NIGGER! GET BACK HERE THEIF!" etc etc etc. I even saw malice in the greeter lady's eyes as I gave a nervous smile. I considered flashing her my pistol (that all black guys have) but thought better of it since I was almost home free.

Eying down everyone, including Jesus, as I made my way through the parking lot, I finally got to my car. Jumped inside, started it up, backed out faster than I should have and hit a small baby. She didn't cry so it was alright..at least I didn't hear any crying after the huge thump..so I guess she's alright. I pulled out, emptied my pocket, and saw she handed my $40 back to me when she gave me the receipt. Not sure if it was because she was enchanted by my good looks, charming smile, engaging conversation or outgoing personality, but she definitely had a serious lapse in judgment and basically let me buy $40 worth of shit for a buck. Love it.

Did I feel bad about it? I did once I thought that she might have to pay for that, and it's not like Wal-Mart employees can just afford to hand out $40 willy-nilly, but my conscience isn't strong enough to make that rationalization reality, and I'm not feeling to guilty..so I hope karma isn't real.

Kids...
Don't be like me.

Take the high road. I'm sure this will come back to bite me.
But until then, if anyone wants to cam up, hit me up on MSN.

~Njord the Wise

Coming soon..

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If you guys have noticed, I tend to have eccentric music tastes.
I'm honestly not sure how I got that way. My mother had me listening to Gospel until my cousins caught me on to Rap around 8 (Slim Shady's The Real Slim Shady was the first rap I ever listened to). I stayed near the general pop, mainstream rap, and RnB since that was pretty much the only thing I could stand at the time. I remember listening to some cool rock like Rollin' - Limp Bizkit, or Suffocate - Papa Roach, but that was so far away from where I am now, I still wonder about it.

I remember hearing Linkin Park around 7th grade, since that's when I finally got a PC of my own. The merge of Rap and Rock that made Hybrid Theory such a classic really turned me on to what rock had to offer, but I still never really branched out. Then, I remember staying up to the unusual hour of 4-5 AM, and seeing Evanescence perform Bring Me To Life on some rerun of a talk show. I damn near beat off to it.

From there, it was just a roller coaster of self-discovery pertaining to my musicals tastes. In 8th grade, I discovered My Chemical Romance, and my friend Matt introduced me to Within Temptation. 10th, he gave me a taste of a lot of Heavy Metal and Alt Metal, 30STM, the Used, etc. But by 11th grade, I was growing my musical tastes on my own by expanding into european Trip Hop (Portishead, Massive Attack, etc), Underground Hip Hop (Lupe Fiasco at the time, Blue Scholars, etc) and lots of alt/prog rock (Coheed and Cambria, Fall Out Boy, PATD, Incubus, the Killers, Muse)

With the discovery of Pandora, I've been able to expand my musical ear even more with bands like:
Athlete (best band of all time btw)
Radiohead (okay they beat Athlete by a hair)
The Strokes
Anberlin
Rise Against
Rage Against the Machine
Weezer
Aqualung
Bloc Party
Finger Eleven
Franz Ferdinand
The Mars Volta
Jack Johnson
AAR
Dave Matthews Band
John Mayer
Modest Mouse
Handsome Boy Modeling School
etc etc etc

So who knows what the future brings for the black guy when it comes to his musical tastes. Maybe I'll eventually get into country (there have been a few songs that have turned me on) but I doubt that.
Expanding my tastes has really led to a lot of cool things, from commonalities with people I wouldn't normally talk to, to actually inspiring me to take up music [Guitar] on my own, and hopefully learn it. Haha.

All for now

~Njord the Wise

Out of nowhere she appears, and into that abyss she goes. Every day, the Darkness holds me until her words brighten up my life, and every time she leaves, the Darkness takes me again, to quickly remind me that it is all I will ever know.

Unawares, she fights the Darkness, who cowers in her wake.A simple "Hello"

from those heavenly lips, and she leads me from the Darkness as my angel of Light. And with every "Goodbye", I am tossed back into the abyss as though she cares not for the sanity of my mind. I pray and ask God why He chooses to spite me? With glimpses of light, of gold, all born of her beauty, He torments my soul and uses my angel to control me.

Unawares, she fights the Darkness, who cowers in her wake.

And to Him I turn and ask how do I tell this angel the emotions that she drives through my heart? On those special days when she sits down at my table, and the Darkness scuttles away, I cherish the time she gives me to know her. To discover the source of my sight, to learn the lantern of my soul.

Unawares, she fights the Darkness, who cowers in her wake.

When she is tired after a hard day of work, I let her rest her head on my shoulder. As she sleeps, my eyes take in the beauty of the world. And I let them linger on my angel of Light, who sleeps peacefully beside me, and watch her ruby lips part as she begins to lightly snore. And her soft strands of hair playfully tickle across my cheek.

Unawares, she fights the Darkness, who cowers in her wake.

When she awakes, she looks up at me and I curse the Darkness again. For It has robbed me of a treasure more precious than my sight. Though I can see her, as the Light she is, her eyes are dark and empty. Her soul is hidden from me by the Darkness, who grips my heart and tells me that it will never be.

Unawares, the Darkness takes her, she who fights for me.

Though I know I may never see her light skin, the softness of her hair, the play of words upon her lips, I pray to my Father that he allows one thing I treasure most. Give me insight to her soul, give me a vision of her heart. Tease me not with earthly barriers that are vain in my heart. Her soft voice is worthless to me, if I cannot see her tears. Her beauty is only petty accessory if the twinkle of her smile is hidden from my eyes.

Unawares, I fight the Darkness, to save she who fought for me.

I just want to get to know her, my precious angel of Light. What makes her laugh? For who and what will she fight, and lay down her life? Who does she love and why? What makes her cry? Do I truly make her smile? So I hope that with her Light, she can lead me from the Darkness, to which I will never return. And though she may never be mine, she has given a sightless man a gift he prays for daily. To have seen the light he has always craved, a woman who has touched his soul.

Unawares, I defeat the Darkness, who no longer rules my world.

~Njord the Wise----

I decided to post something I wrote a few weeks ago in celebration of V-day. Except I revised it a bit, and I'm still editing things daily, so I'd appreciate some feedback. The original can be found here. Anyways, tell me what you think and if you prefer the first one instead.
http://aerios.wordpress.com/2009/02/03/a-blind-mans-crush/

Because I've grown up in Christianity, I have that certain perspective that a lot of atheists accuse Christians (and other denominations) of having when they're bashing the beliefs of others.

I think a lot of other religions are wrong.

However, I haven't really put a lot of thought into it, and my mind has been expanding a lot lately as I discover things that gets me going.

A lot things I've been learning recently are influenced heavily by certain Indian philosophy and religions (Hinduism, Buddhism), Universalism, and the Hawaiian school of Hana. Now I'm heavily rooted in Christianity, and doubt that I could ever believe in any other god[s]. However, I do want to study and take on a lot of their teachings, if for nothing else, to expand the nature, usefulness, and grounding of what I do.

Since the dawn of time, humans have struggled to determine what drives us. What force gives us life, what force allows us to influence others, what forces can we influence, how we can and choose to influence said force(???) etc etc etc. And for some inexplicable reason, my interests and recent discoveries have led me to this same line of questioning.

And thinking over a lot of the things I know, such has how to distort and use language to influence others and myself, I am starting to think that we have not even begun to scratch the surface of human ability when it comes to changing ourselves, others, and our reality. The brain is a powerful thing, and if some outside force can influence the way it processes emotions (such as cause sadness, happiness, joy, apathy, desperation, etc) then maybe we should also be able to influence those outside occurrences.

Now I'm not getting into that Wiccan mentality where casting a "spell" can change my day for the better, but I am starting to believe that the ability for someone, thing, [non]occurrence, or otherwise to change my perception of the world is a powerful thing. And I want to have that power, and teach others to use it for their own purposes. After learning the finer details of hypnotism, social psychology, interpersonal psychology, NLP, etc etc - I've taken in a lot on how to change others with my words. How to communicate my thoughts, emotions, how to transfer certain energies through my speech (warm, friendly, sexual), but I want to go beyond that. If simple words and voice tonality can change a person's thought process, what powers can we obtain by truly learning the secrets of how the brain interprets signals, signs, symbols, body language? All of which covers an even larger percentage of human communication

All of these different religions touch different parts of this subject with references to Chi, Kai, Spirit, Karma, Chakra, but I want to take this farther. In order to do that, I can't possibly believe that they are all completely wrong. Can I take on the teachings, methods, and certain practices of these religions and not be considered as a poser of their faiths (like retard "New Age"ers) or a corruption of mine? Maybe it's selfish and evil of me to crave, but I want to be like Merlin, my title being the Hand Wizard of emotions. Words evoke so much - but a look, a gesture, a fleeting smile communicates and affects a person so much more. So who knows where I'm going with this, but my future now holds a lot of time being spent in India.

I understand if a lot of this went over your head, since I was rambling through most of this and didn't really make sense to myself as I wrote it. And since this is just a place for me to get ideas out of my head, I really don't care too much. xD
Anyways, that's all for now.

It's an evil thing, and those who try to tempt the snake eventually get bitten.
Hopefully, the poison doesn't kill them.

Off the wall post, since a conversation with someone has me all iffy at the moment.

I think I know too much, and I think I take advantage of certain things I know far too often.

I know how to talk to people; how to express my feelings, and how to contort theirs; how to change their imagination to mold and mesh with mine; how to help others express themselves; how to bend, wax and wane the human psyche; I know how to turn any girl on, and I know how to turn them all off; I know what to say in every situation presented to me to get whatever result I want; I know how to push and prod a woman into willing submission for whatever I desire, be it sex, conversation, a number, or giving me the opportunity to turn her on; I know how to lead a woman down paths of ecstasy beyond anything she's ever experienced, just with the sound of my voice; I know how to help her draw up past emotions, and feelings, and allow them to expand throughout her mind and body. They become real as she experiences the emotions of a fleeting kiss, the beginnings of sex, the sinking feeling from a cold stare across the room; I know how to touch, to grab, to hold, to caress, and lead; I know when to say "No", "Not yet", "Not here" and I know how to put myself in those situations; I know that knowing these things, and a plethora of other forbidden knowledge, makes me a person that isn't eligible for every one on the planet; I know that I use my knowledge to avoid, turn off, shut down, and handicap these people and I don't feel as if I'm a good person afterward.

I know too much, and it's dangerous. Ignorance isn't bliss, but innocence is. If you have it, guard it. If you don't, get it. If you don't want it, then don't take it from others. This is my philosophy. Is it wrong?
I'm beginning to think I'm not real and maybe I should do without thinking, but how can I drop what I never had to learn, and what comes to me so easily?

I am the monarch butterfly: Loving in nature with a poisonous soul.

So this is me saying I'm holding back no longer and if you happen to be victim of my venom, then I hope the peal of church bells separate me from your soul.

I had a blog, but I honestly forgot to post it, and now it's 230AM, so I definitely don't feel like typing it out...So here's a ramble from the heart:

I've been expanding my interests far and wide these past few years, and that includes getting to know other cultures a lot better. After listening to some random songs by Dead Prez, along with another by Blue Scholars, I decided to try Masala Chai which is referenced in their music about a dozen times.

Basically, it's Indian tea (from actual India, not fake Cherokee bitches) but it's promoted as calming, meditative, and being able to put you in a reflective state and whatnot among pseudo-intellectual blacks. I've just had a lot so maybe this blog will be deep and question the meaning of the universe...or maybe I will question myself and my motives behind writing a blog that references questioning the meaning of the universe. Or maybe this is my way of questioning the meaning of the universe by actually questioning my motives which are inherently the universe at work revealing itself to me.

Chai is deep shit.

But anyways, it's really delicious. Made from spices cardamom, cinnamon, ginger, star anise, peppercorns and cloves, it goes down with a sweet heat and is really unique in its flavor. I'd almost describe it as sexy, because it goes down like a softly burning desire, or an intense flame. I drank it plain for about two weeks before randomly discovering that it's actually supposed to be served with warm milk. So I drop in some milk and honey, and holy shit, it gets 100% more delicious.

It's now my favorite drink and I have a cup every day as I write and let girls drink it when they come over for make-out sessions. Go to Walmart, find Tazo's Chai (there are better brands out there, but dont waste more than 3.50 on Tazo's until you're sure you like it) drop it in some extremely hot water for 5 minutes, pop in 2-3 table spoons of warm milk and 2-3 tablespoons of honey and you're good to go. Kill the milk if you want the raw spicey tang.

It's not 12AM yet, so this still counts as not missing a day! Shut your ass! Alright, so a little personal thing about me.

After taking a nice, long look at my life, I've realized that I have one major flaw that's held me back from so many things over the years. Though it isn't explicitly procrastination, I'm going to label it as such because of the way this problem takes form.

As long as Njord can remember, he has avoided going homework.
I remember sitting in my 1st grade class as David Lee, the only kid in my class who was on my level, convinced me to just quickly do my Math homework when we got in class in the morning, before the teacher made her rounds to pick them up. It was a lot better to have my book and paper shoved into my desk than getting constant 0s everyday. Of course, we eventually get caught, because my teacher wondered why I always left the last 2-3 problems unfinished, or had to quickly pull it out of my desk to give it to her. However, she was impressed at the speed David and I finished our work.

So begins the recognition of my intelligence. Me and David are separated from the class and get to play cool ass educational games on old DOS computers. Because of the special privileges I did get from being gifted, and then 1 of maybe 5 students eventually in an accelerated learning program, I was able to scrape through elementary without having the lack of homework kill my grades. However, I did get my first "C" in 3rd grade, and my first "Ds" in 5th.

Everything just seemed better than doing homework. From 1st to 2nd grade, it was NES. From 3rd to 5th grade, it was books (Harry Potter, Redwall Series, Hardy Boys, etc) but in Middle school, I couldn't really get away with that shit. I started to fail classes, and though I really did care a lot about my grades, I could never force myself to do the work, as easy as it was.

So I had to leave a place where I was with people that saw me as a leader, funny, smart, and a best friend to a place where 75% of the student body did drugs or somehow ran against my uptight morals at the time. I withdrew, became shy, but I never fixed my homework problems. Even at this retard school, where the work was basically "write your name and turn it in", watching TV or even paint dry was still more entertaining than trying to force myself to do homework.

So I barely stayed afloat, but I still made it into one of the best high schools in the state, with the counselors judging me by my high test scores instead of my lackluster grades. Thinking it was a new day, a new me, a new environment, my old best buddies and good friends, I signed up for all AP classes. I figured I was smart enough to do the work, I just had to force myself to do it. Fuck me if I didn't fail 50% of my classes this year, and make the lowest GPA out of all of my friends, most of which I had tutored my damn self.

Counselors call me down, ask stupid questions that have already been asked 1000 times before:
"What's the problem?"
"Are you not challenged?"
"Are you depressed?"
"Is it because your father left?"
"Is it because your grandmother died?"
blah blah blah

No. No. No. No. No.
That's all I say, with a blank face. She accuses me of not caring.
"Am I supposed to cry or something?"
Because she doesn't really know how much I beat myself up over staying up until 1AM playing video games, instead of doing the report sitting beside me for 6 hours straight. Or how much I struggle to stay awake in class when the teacher tries to get my friends and peers to rag on me. What the fuck is her purpose if she's getting paid to help me through my problems, and is just trying to label me with the average angst bullshit? So just to appease her, and my mother who I'm stressing out:
"I'm bored."
So apparently, I should join some clubs and get new friends and blah blah blah. But I've had friends all my life, and there have been times where I've been having plenty fun in class and still chose not to do the work.

Of course that isn't it, and I still fuck my grades over. So I get a nice letter durign the summer saying I'm no longer welcome at that school, and I basically had to go to a high school musical version of the clusterfuck of retards that was my middle school. Problem is, I'm still struggling through that, and now I'm barely making it to graduating with my class just because I can't make myself do the work required.

Long-winded, but here is the beef as to why I see this "procrastination" as my only problem:
1. I'd be in the top 10 of my senior class at one of the best high schools in my state (Though there's only 1 guy that I know of who was explicitly smarter than me)
2. I'd be a hell of a lot smater, being exposed to better teachers, more intelligent peers, etc etc etc.
3. I'd probably have a car, my own computer, hell maybe even an apartment by now if I really wanted - instead of shitty 4 hour a day night school.
4. As a result of all this, I'd have a way easier time getting into the college of my choice.
5. I would have taken the time to hone the myriad of
talents/hobbies/skills I have over the years, such as drawing, learning
German, hypnotism, psychology, etc etc.
6. My life would be free of all major problems, and I'd only be worried about average teen angst bullshit

-Cons-
1. I probably wouldn't have gotten to know most of my best friends, not to mention who knows what sort of person I'd be had I been with the program from the beginning.
2. Damn...no more cons.

I need serious help with this.