CAREER OBITUARY:
RUE MORGUE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
JOVANKA VUCKOVIC IS GONE
THE HORROR DRUNX REACTION
An exclusive TheHorrorDrunx.com article
by
P.T. Pumpkin
HORROR DRUNX NEWS WIRE (CANADA) - Horror Drunx and true lovers of horror everywhere should be delighted to hear that Jovanka Vuckovic, editor-in-chief of Rue Morgue Magazine for the last 7 years too many, is quitting.
Mortimer A. London: "I outlive all of my enemies. Ding-Dong the bitch is dead! Now maybe they will get a real editor-in-chief in there and that magazine will stop being so pretentious and sleazy".
Jovanka (real name "Jenny") gave her reason for leaving the magazine in a prepared statement: "A career in journalism has never been a goal of mine" then she continued on to state that the real reason she was leaving was because she got knocked up by her boyfriend and was going to have a kid.
Mortimer A. London: "For the longest time, I have not believed Jovanka to be a real biological woman at all, but a transvestite or a sex change. I’ll only believe this story if I see an actual video of the birth. Anyone who can deliver this footage will win a free set of Horror Drunx buttons. But be warned, I’ll be scrutinizing it closely to make sure it wasn’t done with special-effects or trick photography of some kind. Those hands and forearms and shoulders are a bit too wide, those facial hairs too pronounced, that Adam’s apple is too big, and that voice a bit too deep for that to really be a woman. My guess, if anything A-D-O-P-T-I-O-N."
ABOVE: Manly ex-Editor shows Adam's
apple and dark nasty roots.
Montgomery Brando: "Anyone who has ever read any of her writings were painfully aware that journalism was never a goal of hers. It figures that she would pitch it all in on this supposed pregnancy."
Unnamed Canadian Horror Drunkette: "If it’s true, I hope for the baby’s sake that she is staying away from illegal street drugs."
Jovanka then went on to say that she will be launching a new website of her own, where she will be blogging about her pregnancy.
Kate Von Spooky: "Oh, great... Now that self absorbed bitch is going to act like she is the only primate ever to squeeze a spider monkey out of her gig. Typical. Un-Fucking-Believeable."
Her short press announcement regarding her leaving Rue Morgue ended with one final very telling quote...
Jovanka Vuckovic: "I wish I could have said goodbye in my editorial, but sometimes things don't work out the way you'd like them to."
Jason Grove: "Sounds to me like she was asked to leave without much advance notice and to not let the door hit her mutt (manbutt) on the way out."
Unnamed female Rue Morgue staff member: "When she was in public at an event of some kind, she had people fooled, but I worked with her and know what she was really like. She was already a creep with hideous mood swings on a normal day, you can only imagine what a nightmare she would be if she was hormonal. We obviously wanted her out of here as soon as possible! No final editorial, just leave."
No mater what the real story is, we wish Rue Morgue lots of luck under the watchful gaze of new editor-in-chief David Alexander. Hopefully he will shape it into a magazine they can be proud of, without the snotty attitude and polarizing condescending personality that has become their trademark over the years under Jovanka Vuckovic..
P.T. Pumpkin: "Joe who?"
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