Eulogy to a loved one



When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

When high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

On Saturday, May 3, 2008, one of my best friends and one of the few men dearest to my heart died in a traffic accident.

I have written about him more in my LiveJournal:  http://jeisenne.livejournal.com and I will be writing more about him as the memories and the emotion start to seep through my veins and being.

Nick, it's going to be a long time before you and I finally get to see each other again, and until that time I will think about you often.  All the love and adoration I felt for you, I will stuff it down and tuck it away into a small corner of my heart, and at least I will be able to carry you like that until my dying day.  You know that Jerry and I will make sure that the boys grow up with our memories of you.  We all miss you on NK.  Everybody misses you because everybody loved you so damn much.

Death is not extinction of who you were, who you ARE, it is only the cessation of the body, a mere change of form.  Life flows on to achieve its conquest of the universe, life flows on til it merges into the Eternal.  I know that I will see you again someday, my friend, and when that day comes I know you'll ask me if I enjoyed the scenic route.

But for now, I grieve, because I wish you were still here among us.

Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Glide me towards you
Know something's left
And we're all allowed
To dream of the next
Of the next time we touch...

You don't have to stray
Two oceans away
Waves roll in my thoughts
Hold tight the ring
The sea will rise
Please stand by the shore

Oh I will be...
I will be...
I will be there once more

~ Eddie Vedder

So I finally found a way to get a hold of Oggie, since he doesn't respond to emails, goddamnit :P  I'll be keeping this myspace account for now, see how it all works out.

I must admit though, I do have an older blog that I've been posting to religiously on LiveJournal.  While this has more bells and whistles, LJ has a lot of my history and a lot of my local friends on it, so I will be sticking with that for the most part.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jeisenne

Must be added as a friend to view protected entries, of course.

Oh yeah, I dyed my hair black.  My natural brown in my user picture bored the shit out of me, so now my hair is black.  By next week, purple streaks will be in.  Check this shit out:

I'm also getting inked hopefully by mid-November as my divorce present to myself.  Rawr~