Ground Rule Double Girl of the Week!

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She's really pretty. As much fun as playing a round of skee-ball. On the surface the girl is freakin' dynamite. After a while you expect her to open up a little. Show some depth. You like whats on the surface. Girls who are as much fun as skee-ball got a headstart with me. Being fun and cute gets old after a while. I require more.

Its frustrating when she just doesnt have the depth. There is a reason why an arcade has more than just skee-ball. You get tired of winning a few tickets everytime. You move on to the games of chance because the reward is just better. Did I just compare a girl to an arcade? Yes.

She'll either catch on or you have to tell her but the answer is always the same "press release" answer. "I just dont want to get hurt" or my personal favorite "Im scared". Uggh. Talk about an instant roadblock. Its the best way to get me to ruin my chances. I go from being awesome to being critical. Now Im no longer having fun. I think its a lie. The reason why the girl isnt showing any depth is because she has none. Hiding behind that lie slays me.

Chalk up another loss.

Maybe I was just clueless through all this time but I could swear that DeVry and ITT were out to get me. Hit me earlier that DeVry has the right idea behind their advertising. No, Im not enrolling at DeVry but Im just saying, when you dont have a job, anything sounds appealing.

Watching Stripes right now, I feel like Bill Murray's character. Anything has to be better than dealing with the uncertainty of unemployment or working another no where job. I just blocked out all the ads because well, I had a job and a plan. Turns out I was using the job to avoid the plan.

What kind of training were you doing soldier?
ARRRRRMMMMYYYY Training SIIIIIRRRRRRR!!!!

No, Im not enlisting in the Army to roll into Czechoslovakia inside of an armored Winnebago while banging a ridiculously hot MP with Egon Spangler as my loyal sidekick. Im just saying that its easy to get down on yourself when things feel rough whether its real or imagined and see an ad that promises relief.

I swear that if I had a weaker constitution, id enroll in DeVry. I dont know whats worse, DeVry or becoming an alcoholic.

It really feels like when you're dealing with a girl, you have one of two types on your hands.

The first type is the one that honestly believes she has to play the tough girl role because she's been burned so badly that no man will ever get a shot and it seeps into every aspect of her life. Ever look at a pool that hasnt been cleaned in so long and its green with leaves floating in it? Makes you flinch a little at the thought of jumping in? Shes that pool.

She's been cheated on by a guy she thought she could change. She's been through the wringer and has vowed never to do it again even though shes always cleaning up after falling back into her bad ways. Rather than dealing with her faults and growing from them, she wipes the board clean and swears shes going to start over. Never works.

Her attitude seeps into every crack and crevice of her personality. She sabotages everything because in her mind, shes testing you while in reality, shes a nutjob who needs to be hit upside her head. Talking to her is a chore. In her glued together mind, she believes that those walls she put up are meant to keep out those unworthy and those that are worthy would find a way. She doesnt realize that those walls arent protecting anything of value.

She spent all that time and effort erecting walls instead of rebuilding herself into something better. What guy who has his act together wants to climb some high wall when the prize on the other side is trash? Talking to a girl shouldnt be a chore. Spending time with a girl shouldnt involve arming yourself for combat. Being with a girl shouldnt lead a guy to developing a serious drinking habit. There's a reason why we swim in clean swimming pools. Its good!

Dont say sorry unless you're sincere about it. Werent we all told that at one point in our lives? Whats the point of issuing an apology if we dont mean it? We are all guilty of it. Its like were all trained to say sorry because its the quickest way out of a sticky situation. The thing is, in 95% of the time, we consciously made the decision to do what we did. Look at the recent rash of celebrities and athletes lashing out with their seemingly sudden lack of civility.

They all issued an apology but its all so hollow. They dont mean it. By issuing an apology, they can get the negative media attention off of their back. Seems like you cant look bad because TMZ and ESPN stand to make a buck off of you. Why not just own up to it and say "i did it, i stand by it". One of the biggest ways to earn respect is to stand by your actions. "Yes, I threatened to kill the line judge. See how small she is, its great being able to intimidate those smaller than me".

Dont say sorry unless you're 100% sincere about it. Own up to what you willingly went out of your way to do. Dont pawn it off on being drunk or in the heat of the moment. Just say you meant to do it. You meant to cuss out the ref for screwing you over. You meant to slap the paparazzo because he was in your face calling you a whore. The public will like that. A lot.

Have you ever known anyone who was ever proud of having eaten at a place like Arby's or KFC? Have you ever been proud of eating there?

I dont know a soul who walks into Arbys with his chest thrust out and he's walking in with a swagger that hasnt been seen since the 1980s Miami Hurricanes and then brag to everyone he knows about his awesome meal at Arbys. Thats because awesome meal and arbys dont belong in the same sentence.

Going in to KFC always seems like a great idea....at the time. "oh hey, I havent had KFC in sooooo long". Its like the person saying it totally forgot why he hasnt eaten there in so long. It usually comes back to him after he gets halfway through his chicken. "ohhhh, this is why I havent had KFC in soooooooo long."

I eat at arbys and I always regret it. I seem to kid myself into thinking that a beef and cheddar is going to hit the spot and ALWAYS forget that the spot will hit me back.

What does it say about your head coach if his offensive coordinator's offense is too complicated for him and he graduated from Yale? Isnt it a requirement to be smart to attend Yale? I know, Bush came from Yale but his dad pulled some strings. Thats not the case of Buffalo Bills head coach Dick Jauron. Im just saying, shouldnt you be smart if you're an alum of Yale?

Bills fired their offensive coordinator Turk Schonert. Schonert comes out and says that he had to dumb down his offense for conservative Head Coach Dick Jauron. He says that Jauron wanted the offense to represent that of a Pop Warner team. He wants his offense to be understood by 7 year old kids instead of 28 year old men. The Fuck?

Look here, Buffalo's starting QB is from Stanford. Last I heard, Stanford was a pretty good school. Cant be a slouch and attend that school. The backup QB is from HARVARD! The starting left tackle is from Cal-Berkeley. Thats another pretty prestigious school. Some other schools represented by those involved in the offense are Pittsburgh, Wisconsin, Virginia, and Texas. All these schools are really good. Yet, these guys have to have an offense dumbed down to that of a Pop Warner offense?

Maybe its those schools that failed. Marshawn Lynch anyone?

Everytime you read an article about an athlete or celebrity getting into trouble, theres a paragraph detailing any past transgressions. It doesnt matter what that transgression is, they print it as though it matters in the current event. As if what he did four years ago has anything to do with what just happened.

Shawne Merriman reportedly beat up Tila Tequila. First off, how do you get arrested for doing the world a favor? The thing is, every article you will read will detail his use of steroids and when he was caught using them a few years ago. This is added as if it is related to the current event.

I dont see how his use of steroids back when he was trying to increase his draft stock has any bearing on this event. Unless he tests positive now for steroids, that past event has ZERO impact on this current event. You dont have dormant roid rage stemming from use several years ago. Doesnt work like that. Yet, its part of the story?

Its really hard for me to sit across from you and be engaged in you when you're talking about the ex. I will daydream. I wont look at you when Im supposed to respond. The gears are turning in my head coming up with a way to steer the conversation away from the current topic.

I have varied interests just for this case. I can and will talk about everything humanly possible and carry on that conversation just so I dont have to talk about your ex or mine. I dont care how good he was or even how bad he was. Im not him and Im not going to be him. As far as Im concerned he's a myth like Bigfoot, the Fountain of Youth, and Jesus.

Yes, I can even go as far as NOT talking about sports. I get it, ok. Im more than likely not going to find a girl who is into sports on the level that I am. I'll be lucky to find one that can barely tolerate my sports obsession. I wont bring up anything involving it. Anyone who knows me knows that im making a huge sacrifice. Match me, dont talk about the ex.

There isnt anything good about it. Its not sexy. Its not cutting back on the use of fossil fuels. It isnt finding DB Cooper, and its not going to give me back the minutes wasted hearing you. Talk about your cat, your job, your crazy racist grandmother, anything else. Ex talk will make me NOT call you back. Even if you have a killer rack. A killer rack cant save you now. You shouldve used it earlier instead of talking about the ex.

In the gym a few weeks ago, an old teammate of mine from high school asked a question. "Why do we still do this?" I didnt have an answer for him. Well, I didnt have an answer for him at the time. "Why do we come in here and kill ourselves lifting weights?" Sure the chicks like a good looking guy. No one likes to be sloppy. I could have said all that but it wouldnt have been my answer. Now I have I it.

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory...lasts forever.

Cheesy sounding I know, I stole it from The Replacements. I think this blog just lost every piece of credibility for quoting Keanu Reeves and being serious about it. The thing is, it rings true. Not the first time I said it but every time I say it to myself.

Glory is fleeting. When the opportunity comes along to grab glory and claim it as your own, you cant pass it up. All your life, you've been trained to pursue glory. In the classroom, on the field, in the board room, in the ring, in the bedroom. You chase it because its all you seem to know. Its like the pursuit of glory is the meaning of life. How many guys do you know is haunted by a bad game or a bad play or a bad injury? I dont have enough fingers and toes to count them all.

It took a fastball to the nose to have this realization sink in. After feeling sorry for myself after leaving the hospital, that quote came to me. Why am I dealing with a broken nose and stitches? Its a piece of crap rec league softball game for cripes sake. Its because Im chasing that elusive rabbit that is glory. That one hit, one throw, one catch that makes all that training and work pay off.

The answer to his question is "glory lasts forever no matter how small or great it is." We kill ourselves in the gym because we want to be ready for that opportunity to capture glory. I dont want that opportunity to pass because I dont want to be one of those guys who talks about their glory days in past tense.

Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory...lasts forever.