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benjamin nightmare

Benjamin Nicholson


Last Updated: 12/1/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 17
Sign: Libra

City: The 603
Country: US
Signup Date: 12/30/2005

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Thursday, October 01, 2009 
I honestly almost cried while writing this, I hope you like it. Comment with feedback if you want. <3
*this was written for a school assignment and it helps relieve some of the pain*


When I was in 8th grade we went on our end of the year trip. The trip consisted of a cruise around the White Mountains, a trip to an arcade and a trip to the movies. This was the best day I had since I moved to New Hampshire, but knowing my luck, I knew it was going to change soon. Around 1:30 we boarded the bus to head back to Nottingham Elementary, all of a sudden my phone rings, it's my Dad. This makes me happy because i had not talked to him in a few days. When I answer, my Dads voice sounds different. He sounds shaken and confused. When I ask him whats wrong he says "Brace yourself son, this isn't going to be easy." I figured my dad was just going to say he loved me, be loved joking around like this. Sadly, I was way off. He gave me a long story which ended with the words, "Your Grandmother is gone." The only thing I remember hearing after this is the last conversation I had with her, I didn't even hug her when I left. I immediately broke down, slammed my phone shut, threw it on the ground and started crying. Given i was the new kid, people started looking at me funny. The girl I was sitting with wanted to get up and leave, I could sense it, but instead she asked me what was wrong. I told her slowly, barely choking out the words. After, I felt a hand on my back and a head touching my head, she began to comfort me. The whole ride home, approximately an hour, I was bawling my eyes out, I couldn't help it. It just goes to show, your best day can quickly become your worst
8:30 PM 
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009 
why is it that people feel the need to comment someones pictures and say something they have is better then what someone else has? are people really that materialistic? if so I'd like to see those people live without half the things they have in their lives. live without the nice clothes, sophisticated friends, classy parents, and see how they feel then. maybe then they will learn to appreciate that other people can't afford everything they have. and why is it that almost every 13 or14 year old girl I've seen lately has a half naked picture up on their Myspace? that's trashy. I'll admit, there is a classy way to do it, but not many people can pull it off. lately I've met some pretty chill people on this here social networking site, and to those people i would like to say thank you for entering my life and please don't leave it anytime soon.

UPDATES!
- this year i will be starting an experimental solo music project finally!
- i will probably be deleting this page and making a new one?
- i am downsizing gauges and getting some new piercings.
- i also will design people tattoos by request.

and if you read this, please don't leave an asshole comment like 'you're a fagot' or 'no one cares' cause frankly, its a waste of your time and mine. instead, how about you leave me a nice, sweet comment and who knows maybe it'll end up in my 'things that make me smile (:' album ;)

but that is all for now, i will add more to this later.

p.s I'd like to inform everyone that my favorite local band, Years Since The Storm, is releasing an album on August 19th! check them out and message them if you wanna get your hands on a copy!
www.myspace.com/ysts
Currently listening:
It's All Happening
By Iwrestledabearonce
Release date: 2009-06-02
1:47 AM 
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Thursday, August 06, 2009 
Facebook - Ben Elliot Nicholson
Stickam - www.../hollywoodmisfit
YOUtube - www.youtube.com/misfitvideos
A.I.M - Snpcrklpopplya46
MSN - Hollywoodmisfit860@hotmail.com
Yahoo! - staybrutalben@yahoo.com
Call or Text - 1.860.462.9599
Address to Send Me Stuff - Message Me For It! :D
9:03 PM 
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Thursday, June 25, 2009 

Current mood:  focused
if tomorrow everything suddenly was different, what would you do? would you try to adapt to the changes or would you try to change things back? people have become so use to an everyday routine that change is highly doubtful. everyone bases things they do off of something someone else has done, i'll admit i'm guilty of that myself. what america needs is individuality, think for yourselfs and so what you want, don't worry about what other people think. i've been doing this for the past month and it has made my life alot easier. what i want you to do today is this, get in contact with someone you've hurt pretty bad and apologize, and actually mean it. be friends with them again work everything out, i did this today and i feel better. things won't be the same with me and her, but i'm glad we are atleast talking. now on the other hand, find someone who makes you happier then ever before and tell them, i've done that too and i am very happy i did. it's funny how i ramble haha, this was suppose to just be a blog for people to tell me one memory they've had with me.

so do that, leave a comment on here with one memory we've had together. lets bring back the days of a happier me, and maybe i can in turn make you happier.

<3
Currently listening:
Killing with a Smile
By Parkway Drive
Release date: 2006-08-22
7:46 PM 
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009 

Current mood:  apathetic
it's 3:30 in the morning. i'm sitting in bed, it's hot and dark. Lilliana's phone died, i now miss her dearly.

anyways, heres the point of this:
lately i've felt like i'm losing everything and everyone. maybe its just me? maybe i'm pushing you guys away? maybe i'm doing to much? to little? all i know, is i always wanted to be a gangster. but in all seriousness, all i know is i need you guys now more then ever, please don't leave now. if there was one thing i could do right now, it would be move to Boston. if theres one thing i could forget right now, it would be the pain i felt after 8 months. 'tis easy to lose love then to gain it. if not you then who? i need to better amuse myself. i'm starting over fresh now. i'm cutting my hair, possibly taking out my gauges (doubt that will happen) although my dad did say he would quit dip if i did. maybe its worth it? anyways, i'm going to be an all around nicer person. i can taste the failure on your lips. i need to get away from people, but not lose contact, if that makes sense? i hate what i see in the mirror every morning, yet i feel like i'd be lost if i changed my looks. i contradict myself. i need a new outlet, writing and art don't cut it anymore. maybe a weekly blog would help? my myspace friends might hate me for it, or some might love it. who knows. this summer needs to be a good one. i wanna change my phone number and only give it to certain people. i want to not come on here as much. i wanna devote myself to one girl again, i liked that feeling, to bad she killed it. i'm a completely messed up person on the inside. me and Lilliana had a good conversation tonight, i enjoy those conversations. i don't want small talk anymore, i want to have a good, meaningful conversation with someone. why am i so closed off from the world? why is every good local band breaking up? people need to stop being so judgemental of what people wear, what the listen to, what they look like, or how they act. people need to learn to accept everyone else for what they really are. pardon my demeanor, but i really could be meaner. the world will soon crumble in upon all this built up debt and false hope. we are all pathetic. nothing is real anymore, with all these plastic surgery advancements and photoshop being so easily accessible, who in this world is real anymore? are you? am i? is anyone?! i guess all i really have to say is i'm sorry for conforming to what everyone else in the world is doing and sorry i can't be different. we're all a disappointment to someone, have you realized it yet?

<3
Currently listening:
Unbreakable
By Mychildren Mybride
Release date: 2008-02-26
7:29 AM 
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Monday, June 01, 2009 

Current mood:  bummed
As I sit here and think about the past, i wonder how much of it was the truth.
Did i ever mean that much to you? You moved on so quick, its hard to tell.
I was left stunned and speechless, I was unsure of what to do with myself.
And now, not a day goes by that i don't think of you.
As hard as it is to say, I haven't moved on.
No matter how hard I try, this all just seems so impossible to do.
My trust has been broken, ripped apart and trashed by you, and you don't even care.
These images of you, continue to haunt my dreams. Will I ever again be able to close my eyes?
Currently listening:
A New Hope
By Vanna
Release date: 2009-03-24
9:52 PM 
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