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Sunday, August 30, 2009
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The day I turned and faced you, and saw the tears that also flowed from your eyes, I realized how much you meant to me, and how hard it was to leave you behind.
The day I first saw you, that's when I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
The day that you asked me if I was still dancing, and I said no, I felt so ashamed.
The day I read what I read, I have never been as angry in my whole life.
The day I found out who you really were, I wasn't hurt I was angry that I had been defending you my whole life.
The day you stopped answering is the day I stopped calling.
The day I graduated, I never regreted my decision, and I still don't.
The day I met you, is the day that set the course for the rest of my life.
The day you went back to your old ways, I cried.
The day you had a heart attack, the shock that I felt when I realized that you wouldn't be here forever, brought me to my knees.
The day I quit, I realized I was stupid.
The day I got drunk, I DID NOT WASH MY HANDS WITH TOOTHPASTE!!!!
The day the thought of you with someone else crossed my mind, it made me sick to my stomach.
The day on the wet field, you hurt my pride.
The days I spent away from you I didnt sleep.
The day I left I knew it would kill me to walk out of your life again.
The day your son was born, I felt so proud for both of you.
The day I woke up beside you and the sun was falling across your face while you slept, I realized I was blessed to have you in my life.
The day I was following you in my car when you were angry, you should know that I would follow you to hell and back.
Every day that I look at you I realize that the best things are free.
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Monday, June 01, 2009
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I'm so aggravated. Nothing goes right. Everybody acts a fool non stop, once someone stops someone else begins... I"M TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm twenty years old, quit playing these fucking high school games with me.
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Thursday, February 12, 2009
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I dont even know where to start with expressing how i feel at this moment in my life,or if ill even be able to at all. things are so crazy. i cant decide what direction i want to take or which priority comes before another. i never had this problem in the past. of course i also had only one priority. what do i really want? what means more? to me?
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Saturday, January 10, 2009
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I feel almost as if I'm not myself. Every outlook I used to have seems to be changing. I'm becoming a new person, but it's like my spirit is dying at the same time. I miss so many things, I would give anything for one more bus ride, or to sit it a guard closet with kaitlin and tesia one more time. My whole life revolved around color guard. I even failed my senior year on purpose just to march my fourth year. Now...it's like im passing up the opportunity to perform left and right. The old me, the real me, would kill for any performance. The new me is aiming to please, everyone but himself. I'm doing things that I thought I would never do. Where's the growing up in that? NO where mom. no where at all. My soul burns to be on that field or on that floor, that very flame that used to engulf my life and blind my vision of any other options, now its as if I wrapped myself if a fire blanket and jumped into unchartered territory. Where is home? really? Did i leave home the day i left that collesium in rock hill last april? Will home only be the place beside my friends, or will I ever lodge up some where new? Where is my heart really? My soul screams perform, my mind screams money!!!Time!!!! Two years, even one year ago i would have gave anything to march etude after pendleton, and i had a spot handed to me and my mind screamed warnings that i listened to. But my mind is killing my soul.
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Wednesday, July 02, 2008
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I want to run in a field of thorns with kayla., everyday
I want to get lost with someone who gets me lost in laughter as well.
I want to go back to june of 2004 and live my life from then to now over again...
I want to recklessly love, without holding anything back.
I want to remember every moment that i have spent with people i love
I want to stand on the 50 and wrap the music around me, and get lost in the songs of my life.
I want to dance...forever.
I want to make you happy.
I want to be happy
I want to live everyday, and never waste time, unless wasting time is livign at that moment
I want Jamie to let me have some of her damn cup cakes.
I want you to want me
I want to be a cat.
I want to dance with you in the rain...
****more to come.
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Sunday, June 22, 2008
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Hey, Jude, don't make it bad Take a sad song and make it better Remember to let her into your heart Then you can start to make it better
Hey, Jude, don't be afraid You were made to go out and get her The minute you let her under your skin Then you begin to make it better.
And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain Don't carry the world upon your shoulders Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool By making his world a little colder
Hey, Jude! Don't let her down You have found her, now go and get her Remember, to let her into your heart Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin You're waiting for someone to perform with And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude, You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad Take a sad song and make it better Remember to let her into your heart Then you can start to make it better
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
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I believe sometimes God sends people into your life to bring you joy, The lady I met to night was so very kind to me and supportive of what I want to do with my life, She may not know it, but her kindness and the words she spoke meant the world to me. It was exactly the push in the right direction I needed. Thank God for such good spirited people. I wish her nothing less than all the happiness in the world. God bless.
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Wednesday, December 26, 2007
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1. ur my friend from madera who is cool and not a fag, and u are so awesome, that we should just drown the fag and elope lol with our many children and posessed cats.
2. ur the fag from madera who is so drama, and somehow fun at the same time. and ur house is cold. and u gotta cool tat yo'
3.
ur a transvestite who is awesome, and i wish you still marched coz you are so fun to be around.
4. ur my best "bubbles"/"jetski" friend and i love you sooooo very much and I hope i always have ur bubbles around to lay my head on....
5. ur my best little friend that moved so so so far away...and broke my heart
6. ur my homie from spririt, and i havent known u long but hey u mean something to me too, roomie.
7. ur family took me in for weeeeeeeeeeeeksssssss, and you've done so much for me....and i love you soooo much and ur church smells addictive.
8.u left me for a year, i was sad, now ur back, and im happy
9. ur my sexy friend and I'm ur nextbigthing 4 ever, and u better not forget it sexy G man.
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Tuesday, December 25, 2007
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Category: Romance and Relationships
I win.
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Wednesday, December 19, 2007
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1.well, i never would have guessed that we would become friends, but life is random in that way...and now you mean alot to me, and I have SOOOOO much fun with you, even when we're lost in the woods.
2. you're a dead blind mute slut who I love soooo sooo sooo very much, and i dont know what i would do without you in my life.
3. you randomly became my friend as well....and we have a tendacy to piss people off together but its w/e lol. coz we do what we want gah. Especially yelling cut a bitch out the windows.
4. you have always meant alot to me, but this year we fought alot, and alot of it was my fault and im sorry, it was alllll so stupid, and i missed you so much, im trying to make it better, just please help me help myself.
5. You're one of my few guy friends, and i care about you alot, in that hetero kinda way, and im really sad that youre leaving after we graduate but i wont tell you that lol.
6. We date my junior year, after we broke up I fell in love with you lol. I'm still not over you completely, but im happy having you as a friend even if I hit you w/ sabre on accident.
7. I liked you alot and still do, sometimes I wonder whats going on with you though.but i care about you more than you could ever imagine.
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