So I have some messages on my phone that I didnt want to loose, what better place for them than my space right?

First:

There comes a point in your life when you realize: who matters, who never did, and who won't anymore.... and who always will.  So dont worry about people from your past, there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future. 

Next:

Five tips for a woman...

1. It is importand that a man helps you around the house and has a job

2.  It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3.  It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4.  It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5.  It is important that these four men dont know each other.

Next....

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.  So love the people who treat you right.  Forget about the one's who dont.  Believe everything happens for a reason.  If you get a second chance, grat it with both hands.  If it changes your life, let it.  nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.  Friends  are like balloons; one you let them go, you cant get them back.

And then...

Six truths of life....

1.  You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2.  All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. And discover the first truth is a lie.

4.Your smiling now because you're an idiot.

5.  You will soon forward this to another idiot.

6.  There is still a stupid smile on your face.

Things you can only say on Thanksgiving.....

Talk about a huge breast

Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist

Its Cool Whip Time

If I dont undo my pants, I'll burst.

Thats one terrific spread

Im in the mood for a little dark meat

Are you ready for seconds yet

Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it

A joke...

Why cant you play Uno with mexicans?

Cause they will steal all the green cards.

Another Joke

What do you do if your ex is limping around the back yard, covered in blood and screaming?  Keep calm, focus, reload and  shoot again!