This Month Has Gone By And It Still Seems So Unreal That Your No Longer With Us You Will Always Be Missed… R.I.P Titi Lulu You Will Always Be Missed

   Today seems so unreal waking up to my sisters screaming and rushing off to the hospital.... Today another person has been taken from my life and the hardest part was watching her slowly as she slipped from this world…. From the minute I got up everything has been one harsh reality check. This woman in my life was not only my aunt she was like a 2^nd mother she lived with me for like 5+ years and treated me and my sister as one of her own... and now she's gone. She has been battling cancer and a tumor she's been going through a lot and today just happens to be her last stand. I will miss her everyday and her son will be her living on throughout the family. She has helped me become the person I am and I will never forget that. The feeling I felt today was so undescribeable watching her as they tell us that she will not make it …. And having to pull the plug later was like nothing I was ever going to be prepared for. Having to say goodbye to her forever was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do... I don't think I've cried this much in my life and want never to have to again. She's in a better place now and she's has accomplished what she was meant to do and will be missed….

R.I.P Lourdes Velazquez (Till I See Again I Will Always Miss You)

Soo things have been going well after the beach... before the beach I was so stuck in the same routine that I was sacred of myself ... I don't like the same thing to happen everyday I need A toss up ... well I went on vacation to the beach which was awesome ... family time and vacation time all in one .... with food and sun fun fun ..everything was good for the most part then I came back for A day at Hershey park  who can hate the place where delicious candy is made... anyways it was the hospital picnic and i figured that there would be to many people and there lines would be crazy but it wasn't bad at all umm also because the hospital throw it there was food from 1-5 PM all you can eat  so no overpriced Hershey food for me for the most part then with the new boardwalk open i spent most of my day there   altho i seen the funny's thing I've ever seen with my own eyes at Hershey they have this new ride called the wave rider which is u boggie-boarding on a wave well a big woman went on it fell off and rolled about 5 or 6 times on her face and was stuck in the middle her weight was keeping her from getting tossed up so they had to turn off the water and she slid down on her face was just about the funniest thing i've ever seen  the only bad thing was my legs where killing me after all that beach and Hershey park walking it does a good toll on ya umm i rested up for the 2 days before Otakon  and chilled with Carlos and George both people i haven't seen in ages it was weird at first but was a nice break from the usual Thursdays afternoon Manny, Jinu , and Marisol and Me headed to Otakon to get our tickets  in advance then head to Nono's so it was less of a trip in the morning seeing Nono and Des was also a nice catch up then Friday it was off to Otakon  i was soo happily to be smothered with anime it was orgasmic  so Manny, Marisol, Jinu , Alex, Amanda and me all went and stayed in this nice place called the Renaissance  afterwards i came back to find out i got interviews with pottery barn  and the arcade at the mall  ... yay soo then I did my interview at PB and everything seemed good and i should have no problem screening and then I should have a job hopefully, meanwhile between all this I was with George allot of the time helping him shop around for A car ... we seen so many jeep dealers but you know they always don't have the car you want but crusing around  and catching up was fun too so anyways moving along he finally found his car ... i guess fate throw him a Yin and Yang he missed his flight to P.R but because he missed his flight he ended up stopping by car dealership that was close and they magicaly had the jeep that he was looking for talk about luck and pretty much within 3 days that car was his .... so joyriding in a new Jeep Wangler "07"  was fun .. then the day after my sister finally decided she was ready for her new car we went test drove a Jeep Compass "07" and Dodge Nitro "07" ... animatedly she loved the Nitro and the next day she was writing up her things so ya car shopping and driving around in another new car is fun fun afterwards i finally cracked down and helped my aunt and my cousin find new computers and set up and erase crap and what not which it was actually fun i got to shop for the toys too bad i wasn't taking to my house for me  anyways then i went for a night with some friends then i hanged out with Manny and Chris which was always fun haven't seen em in a bit then after all that Jose finished up in my back rooms dry wall so now I can paint now I'm so happy I will get my bed back soon I got a bit to do but painting and tile don't take long so if everything goes well my room will be done soon and I can finally set it up the way I want it and not be worried about putting things in places temporarily  because I know I would have be moving it soon, after hanging out with Manny and Chris I went with George to learn how to drive stick shift  .... every things good got to 2nd gear but only once I didn't practice for long since it started raining   and George is an old head and had to get to bed for his job but no worries he needs to make that money especially to pay for his new sexy automobile ... so 2 new cars in like 2 weeks and vacations I don't think I've had weeks that have felt this fast in a while i really needed the change the only downside to being busy was i didn't get to see Vanessa   but u know i can have it all to bad tho shes probably going to be in Philly for a while again... Eh I miss hanging with Her but what can ya do

Let me start this on a note that's understandable about a week ago I went to switch my availability to a time other then 2-11 which in my department must have been the biggest sin in the world because to them if I can't work that shift then I wouldn't  have any hour's so it began the new job hunt. About 2 days later I was going in for and interview at Circuit City which change the way I thought about where i'd like to work. First it was a joke but then it became something that I was really thinking about. What really makes you think about it is when you have something that is really dangling in your face that seems so good you think about all the things you hate that's where your at in your life rite now that can be changed. So anyway yesterday night after work I got the call from Circuit City that helped left me with a decision making day crack down you see the situation is that i'm currently working a job at Wal-mart and I have a job offering at Circuit City anyone who knows me know I like electronics ALOT but despite the fact that I like them the job's pay is not as great as its Wal-mart which leaves me in a pickle of weather the pay is worth the stress..... Coming into Wal-mart is like walking into hell every time I walk in my mood just changes altho it's became this way for some time I continued to work there for several months feeling like this..... U would think working in place with so many people the problems would be the customers but in this occasion it is not even a factor I mean people have there days but I never let that get to me.  Hell even I have my days but I bounce back ...... The employees at Wal-mart where like that of no other......and  when I say no other it had some of the coolest people that  you will ever meet (Mel, Nish, George, Oct., Erv, Noel, Annie, Ronnie) YOU Guys know who u are .... But with good theres always the bad... like the gossiping bitch in grocery and the dike co-manager and the fat man with the straps.... eventually you add more and more bad till the good dosen't seem good enough anymore and that's the point i've reached in my life where Wal-mart no longer play's a role in it. It was bad I was there so much I rarely seen my friends and when I was off I was so drained from the week all my body was doing was recuperating. Despite that the way people treated others in Wal-mart was ridiculous either u didn't talk, u hated each other or you where good friends and everybody falls into these patterns. When it became a routine  it became the worst because people always had the same shift till the point when you knew when you where coming in even before the schedule was even made...... talk about waking up to the same hell I woke up at 1 to go to work at 2 didn't get off till 11:30 most days and then came home and stayed up till 3 and would go to sleep only to wake up to do it again. Yes Life sucked and since my body got so use to it I havn't been up a morning in a while and the only time I seen the sun was when it was coming up. Now I don't mind the night life if this was N.Y this wouldn't be a problem but after 11 theres very little that's open besides Wal-mart. My friends with different jobs hate it because we couldn't hang out because they would need to be in bed when I was getting out of work which was only pushing me to not want this job anymore I have became a zombie and Wal-mart was my life and that is really how I felt every time I walked in that door. To stay in Wal-mart u had to be and ass or not really talked to anyone....most of the people you tough you could hold a conversation with ended up finding some way to back stab you..... O they went all out to try to be buddy buddy but in reality they where very 2 faced in the end this only added the fuel to the fire of why I wanted to leave. Now I'm faced with the golden opportunity to get up and walk out and being able to still stand on my feet with a stable job other then walmart... but in the end dose the pros out weight the cons Wal-mart equals better pay for the time worked in a very stressful environment that dosn't make it feel like your getting paid enough to be there.....but Circuit City offers a less stressful environment that pays descent and provides a better discount with a less traveling distance if i can make sure that Circuit city is going to be stable it would be a done deal at least with Wal-mart i know if i stay i will be kept where as in circut city it not going to be the same i have to prove that I should be there which dosn't bother me so much. Dispite the fact im definitely fed up with Wal-mart to the point where i need to get out and even going somewhere unstable sounds better then Wal-mart..... still i would like to leave on a good note so if worst comes to worst I could come back but I dont think thats going to be an option....... Well here I Go taking a jump wish me luck.

Today was a very lovely day I woke up early to these truck people outside making noise and couldn't get back to sleep. After i fially was done trying to make myself go back to sleep i woke up and ate and there was nothing to fuxing drink so i ended up walking to turkey hill to get something. After all that i still ended up having trouble getting to work on time b/c of the damn rain and aperinatly granny smith herself was in front of me... driving a lovly 15 mph and letting me get all the lights after i get in about 5 mins in i get to get send outside to push the damn carts in the rain while outside i almost barfed but I held it in and had to deal with the damn taste after i was done with the cart i finally went in to my department for like 5 mins and everyone took off and i was left alone it it for about 15 mins now the thing i dont get is if we had enough ppl to cover are department how the hell am i alone for 15 mins well o well about 45 min till i went on my break that was good but then i got pulled into the handleing spill movie and it took about 45 min to finsh up then i went back to the floor to get bitched at by mike wow thought i was just taking a 1 hour 15 then im in the dept for about 10 min and i went to grab returns and get naged at by make sayin that instad of standing there fuxing zone after I got my hour and a friend wanted me to give him a ride home and i refuesed b/c i alrdy wasn't in a good mood and alrdy had a headace after my hour i finally went back to get bitched at again b/c some lady had a question that mike couldn't answer and he told her that i knew the answer so she was waiting when i get up there i ask derick and he said she left a min ago so i went back early for no damn reason then mike and ben both took off at the same time ben went to break and i forget where mike went i was in the department by myself again for 30 mins this time when got back there was a line and i went to get a ladys film and come by to a csm bitching at me that theres a line altho im alrdy helping someone so i went and help ben when the line was dead i was helping a person at the game case and got pulled to help another person then i went to regester to ring them both out and a line came around and ben went to get a labtop and fuxed up the lock and spent about 20 mins trying to fix it before he handed it off to mike with took him about another 15 min and still wasn't put on rite while i rang everybody in the line when i finshed i went and got the key and got bitched at by a preg lady that was mad about them taking 30 mins and them telling her they would be over in a min and a man that was waiting also sayin that i need to learn how to do my job even tho i was not the one that said i would be over to gett her game out. After all that i went over to the labtop case and in about a min alrdy put the lock on the right way it wasn't that hard. Around that time ben and i where at regester another line started and mike went to get photo's keys to get a camria while i we delt with line and ben could not ring up the labtop so i finshed my line plus his before he got that lady out afterwords ben rang up the man that wanted the cameria and come to find out mike gave the guy the wrong cameria and this one cost more and the guy didn't want it for two reason one b/c it was open and the other is b/c it was the wrong one plus it cost more well mike alrdy took off for the back to return the keys so i needed to find management to get the keys witch took about 10 mins after finding one i got the keys and headed to the back to find mike heading to toword me and saying what did u tell that man i had to send him to customer service which ment i had to go get him to pick out the cameria that he wanted to replace then go to customer service to return it when i finally got that i went to the front and got the camerias to go through and the regerster need a csm for such a big exchange so i had to wait it took about 15 mins to get a csm after actually walking up and down the lanes to find one with no luck so i went back to customer service to wait and i help a man with a money gram in the mean time when i finshed both i headed back and ask the lady that cashiers that usually comes back to electronics around 11 to come early to only have mike bitch at me for taking so long and him arugue with me but about this time i aruged back and he felt dum b/c he was wrong and he said srry then went to break i was there for his 15 alone and when he came back i went on mine after taking five min trying to find a manager to return the keys then the csm came back and bitched at me and said why am i still back here and i told her why she said she gonna rite me up on of these days and took off but they time my break was done i had about 5 mins in my department and then i went  home and about 3 mins driving in the parking lot i hit a cart in the dark and cracked my headlight ugghhh this was a damn good day that i  hated the whole way through.

Damn time goes by i kinda feel like it almost time for me to go back to school but then i remeber im done and it all kicks in. In a way im kinda glad im done with high school but i cant say i wont miss it even if i hated when i was there or getting up early.... but thats besides the fact so much has changed but for some reason it dosn't seem like its affectign me it just seems like everyone else is changing IDK how to explain it it seems like im standing still and everything is moving around me well dispite the fact that i feel that way walmart has been consuming a large amount of my time and i dont really tend to keep a track of the day as the go by for some reason i feel like im stuck and ill never move but i know there has to be chnage for something to happen. just when am i gonna take the leap is the question....

Last Night Suxed i work till 11:15 B/C Sooo many ppl called off from Wal-Mart.  that I was like the only person that they had on a main lane. When I get home I chilled with Raz which turned out to be like the only good part of the day. Later That night mom said that we have a delay which ment i could stay up l8ter.... So i did and still felt like shit with the extra time. In the morning I had a gut feeling not to bring my PSP but i really wanted Britney to show me how to aplly some background shit to the PSP so i brang it. I guess all the signs where there Raz said why not just stay home and Mike was like let leave right now fuck school 2-day. I Wasn't about to go but I went anyways school was a drag a real drag i did nothing but before i could really think about it it was alrdy time to go so i had fun on the bus and George gave me a ride home and it was all good till i got upstaried and realized i didn't have my PSP  so i looked outside and found nothing and i called Geroge to see if i dropped it in his car and he looked and said no so i called the buss company on my cell while driving back to mccaskey the kid's where getting out and i couldn't find it in the snow anywhere where i was the i got a return call from the bus driver saying that she didn't find it. Soooo Now im 350$  In cash outta luck.

Life sux and i keep kicking the rest of the day was fine i finally hung out with Manny and Marasaw together which they actually seem to click then Tommy, Chris, Justin, and Adam who i han't seen in forever stoped in. That was good there nothing like cheering up about a crack in ur wallet like hanging out with some friends. But Still ....... 350$......... Bye bye pisssspa. It was good playing KI and Ape Escape on ya now i guess ur someone else's.