goodbye ripley the cat
you will be sorely missed

http://ripley-the-cat.livejournal.com/

the crazy old granny in suzy's house
up on the balcony watching the proceedings
scary
old
wise
unknowable
mysterious
cantankerous
that's how i'll be in my dream house

HR 875,the Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009 is overly broad and vague
and a threat to small farmers, organic food,
even people who grow vegetables in their back yard or pick berries in the woods!

help fight!

contact your congresspeople
http://www.house.gov/zip/ZIP2Rep.html

sign petitions:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Food-farms-seeds-HR875

http://www.leavemyfoodalone.org/Default.aspx

http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/568/t/1128/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=26714

read more about it
the text of the bill:
http://delauro.house.gov/files/HR875_Full_Text.pdf

online articles:
http://janeqrepublican.wordpress.com/2009/04/24/fight-the-food-safety-modernization-act-hr-875/

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=food-rules-hurt-organic

http://www.opednews.com/articles/Monsanto-s-dream-bill-HR-by-Linn-Cohen-Cole-090309-337.html

the air presses and stings and it is so hard to move around; the air is so thick.
a painful cold steel clamp is on my brain, sucking out all shreds of warmth and good,
trying to suck out and erase my soul.
doom and fear stalk me, like the creepy crawly feeling horror movies give but more real, far more real, far more ugly, far more violent.
the roiling clouds of despair and destruction fill the sky, fill everything,
all is lost and sad and hopeless and empty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCb879oJ36U

so here i have

hugs and nice talk with juan
snuggle and purrs from jayne
lindt white chocolate with coconut bar
gin n tonic
vicodin
clonazepam
cuts healing
nice comfy bed in my room (MY room finally after 25 years) with pictures and items and books to look at, instead of plain gray walls,
and kitties sleeping on the bed
birds and trees and clouds out the window, rain, sun, shoots coming up outside,
tulips and crocus and daffodils and lilies and weeds
thinking of my accomplishments instead of failures
getting a whole bunch of seeds in the mail from joseph -nasturtiums and bachelor's buttons and cilantro and squash - hope for the spring and summer, life going on.
inspiration from a book about m.c. escher to get some linoluem and make prints
reading the onion -courageous pickles holding jar shut from inside

well i hope it lasts

hurtling towards april fool's day without a joke planned.

---

what do i want
comfort and friendship and companionship
solidarity
but you can't trust anyone
we are each all alone in the world
the only thing there is is oneself
in the morality plays of old, people, beauty, possessions, status,
all fall by the wayside
the only thing left with you is your deeds
what you did and what you thought and what you stood up for, what you upheld
that's all
we are alone in the cosmos
we can't turn to anyone
no one can save us
no gods, no lovers, no parents, no religion or government
only oneself
you are responsible for yourself
and no one else, not even a god, can save you
you have to do it all by yourself
you have to be born and die alone
no stand-ins.

---
if i didn't have drugs there'd be nothing
love from friends or kitties-
they can't always be there when you need them
cutting and your own blood?
what if you can't find a razor or glass to break?
prayer/meditation/art/philosophy/housekeeping/charity/work/school/volunteer work/sports/socializing/....
don't make me laugh
the brain works chemically and electrically.
all we "know" and "sense" are constructs in our brain based on chemical and electrical stimuli
drugs change that
"knowing" and "reality"
drugs save me and keep me in this only life i have,
who knows if there is anything else
so stick it out here and now
shore up with drugs, prescription, street, over the counter, herbal,
"socially acceptable", illegal, food, light, exercise, seritonins, pheromones,
but drugs, chemicals, brain chemistry
life is chemical and electic and magnetic
better living through chemistry.

fuck it all
see you in hell