Its been almost a whole 6 months that I've been single.  And during this time I have done a lot of evaluating and re-arranging of my life.  New friends, new habits, and a new swag are all apart of this new life of mine.  As I go through my daily interactions I pay attention to all those friends that have the potential to become more than my friend.  Whether they become friends with benefits, or maybe they have the potential to be in a relationship with me.  And as I think about that I think about what I want in my relationship.  My last one turned out to be a disaster because I wanted to experience what I was being shielded from.  And, while I explored I had fun, but I realize that I am to old to be at the club every night.  And I'm too mature to be fighting random ass people over stupid bullshit.  To be honest, maybe the only reason I even wanted to experience that life is because this year has been hard as hell.  I lost my uncle, my job, my baby, and I really do miss you so if you're reading this... just know I do fuckin miss you so much... and you may not want me back but at least you know how I feel.  With that said... when it comes to a relationship I want almost exactly what I had before.  Someone stable enough to want me but not need me.  Someone who is willing to spend some time with me... and be COMPLETELY honest with me.  Meaning, if you cant see me tell me so... you can tell me the reason only if you feel like you owe me a reason.  I just hate broken promises.  Do not put your friends in front of me.  What I mean about this is before you invite your friends over free willingly maybe ask me if I wanted to be alone with you for the night.  You know... just being a lil considerate.  I want somebody with amazing sex appeal.  Basically entice me to the point I can't resist touching you.  Let me know you know exactly what you want... and be verbal about it.  I love when you tell me exactly what you want.  These are just a few things I am looking for but have yet to find.  I don't think its impossible to find somebody with these capabilities, but I have yet to meet someone who proves me right.  So there you have it.  Thats what I wan't and cant seem to find.

So, I was speaking with someone close to me the other day.  And during our conversation we got on the topic of what I'm passionate about.  I thought about it for a second and when I couldn't answer right away, he made the remark "Jack of all trades... master of nothing."  This got me to thinking.  Out of everything that I enjoy doing... what is the one thing that I've enjoyed doing all of my life.  At one point in my life I even wanted to make this my career.  That thing that I'm passionate about is writing.  I can remember back to when I was in middle school, and I wrote a short story based off of titles of different movies that were out at the time.  It was such an amazing thing for me to come up with characters, the settings and everything just based off of old movie titles.  That got me to thinking that I need to act on this passion right away.  So I'll be working on a few short stories and poems soon.  You can take a look at them on this website I stumbled accross... GSPoetry.com.  My screen name on there is the same as on here... d-rell.  Thats all for now... thanks for reading!

So here we are, getting ready to close out the second week of this new year.  So far I cannot complain.  God has been good to me. He wakes me up everyday, and helps me to get through each day.  Also, I have been doing a great job at expressing myself a little more.  This is something I felt that I needed to do, simply because I felt like I was pushing my friends away from me.  So gradually you can expect me to be more upfront with people.  Well, another thing that has been on my mind is that I am beginning to see people for who they really are.  And because of that I have let a few people out of my life for good... or at least until they can show me that they are genuine.  This is really going to be a great year.  I am moving out on my own... again.  And I am finally going to start acting like an adult.  I will be 22 in a few months and I want people to think of me as a grown man, and not some kid with grown up responsibilities.  Well I am starting to ramble (as I probably will do a lot this year) so, I am going to bed now.  Peace, Love and D-Rell!