today was horrible, evrything couldnt possibly gone even worst than it did today.. i keep wondering to myself if i chose different paths during my life how would i have ended up.. would i still turn out to be the way i am now? i cant change my past i know that but my furture i can.. im trying hard to find a path that willmake me sucessful later in life, but my choices seem never to be the right ones.. *~I lEaRNeD thAt u SHouLd NEvER coMPaRe uRsElf to otHErS tHEY r MorE fUcKed uP thAn u thInk*~ if thats right why do i feel like im so0o fucked up worst than everyone else.. why do i always see the bad in everything i do instead of the good.. and why do i feel i neeed to try so hard to make eveyone else happy but myself, why is it that i need and want everyone around me to accept me and recongize me as a good person when i cant feel that way about myself.. i can see that i sometime take myself before people making me like and act selfish or i act on my thoughts than to really rationalize and come up with the beeter solution.. i feel lost and hopeless and cant see a way to change what i thought i needed and wanted but never really had.. i feel sick to my stomach and axnoius for what what is it that makes me feel the way i do.. why am i always feeling sad why cant i be happy.. i need to calm down but i cant