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A Wonderland Wasteland

Amandroid- Aphrodite Philopannyx



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Divorced
Age: 22
Signup Date: 10/31/2004

Blog Archive
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[06 Sep 2009 | Sunday] 
out of all this i have taken away a new found, completely irrational fear of the dark. i was just sitting in the hallway waiting for someone to come over and i was just quivering.

i've also joined the rest of humanity with a fear of being alone. >:(
wtf!
and actually, since alone-time is good for my nature as i enjoy to reflect and all that shit, it's really running me ragged never getting to be alone since it just freaks me out now. ugh

bye bye independence!

more soon...
[01 Aug 2009 | Saturday] 
For those of you who don't have me added on Facebook...

Link

i don't think any of us will really ever fully understand, but i have begun to accept it. It feels wrong to be so accepting and "okay" with it so soon, but i guess that's just how i deal with grief. Not that i don't feel immense sorrow and.. even guilt... but no longer does the question of "WHY" haunt me. i would love to know why he did it and what it was he was feeling to drive him to such a place, but i guess i am okay with never really knowing.

Yeah, i don't know really what i'm trying to say here.... i just have conflicting feelings. It is nice not to be just weeping uncontrollably anymore, but i feel sort of guilty for not feeling anything. Not that i'm not going to be sobbing my eyes out tomorrow at the service lol but a sort of calm has come over me.

The reason for this is the subject of another blog with will come soon and will definately be friends-only due to the nature of it and how i want what i will write to be sort of confidential [that is to say, i'd rather not have my family read it. But friends and internet-friends are okay and i feel like i may recive better advice/wisdom/blah that way.]

i can't wait to see Collin one last time tomorrow. :<
[30 Jul 2009 | Thursday] 
This is the most people we've had in our house in... forever. It's so awful that such tragedy is the only thing that brings people together. :(
[11 May 2009 | Monday] 
So my friend Heather and i were going to go on a little trip somewhere. i was a bit fuzzy on the details, but i got together my 35mm camera and a bag and then before i knew it i was at the airport and then i was wooshed to this cheesy fake "wild rapids" sort of ride. We dragged along side the wooden fence thing the entire time.
At the bottom of the ride, i tell her it's been fun but i need to pack for our trip.

Me: "i didn't plan on going this far from home, but i can drive really fast or something and meet you back here when im ready. How long would it take me, you think?"
Heather: "We're in Russia....."
Me: "We're already here?? omg... ::panic::"

i had no money, no change of clothes, and i didn't even bring film for my camera. The little "town" we were in had many buildings crammed close together with signs in english hanging everywhere. There were american tourists running around everywhere like "wow real russia!" [i've had an experience similar to this when i went to Mexico. Some little groomed manufactured town and then people living in poverty in huts and solders with assault riffles just beyond the walls.]

So we go over to a litte shop and i see how much 35mm film costs [too much lol] and Heather buys us food then tells me she only has $20 left. i ask the lady running to store how you say "thanks" in russian and she just gets mad at me i assume because people always want her to translate shit for them.

We go to a little cafeteria area and i steal a lot of hard candies and mints from trays they have laid out because i'm not sure how long we're going to be here and i'd like to have SOMETHING to eat. Eating the sandwich Heather bought me, i clean out my camera bag and realize i have a $20 stashed in one of the side pockets. Woo~

i go tell Heather, who had wandered into a little shop at the back of the cafeteria. They have snacks and drinks and magazines and little touristy trinkets, but with no prices marked, so i'm just scarred to even ask since everything everywhere else was overpriced and crazy. There was a little internet kiosk set up so i was like "sweet, i can contact the outside world and tell them of my plight!" but the keyboard was in cyrillic so i'm like "noooooooooooooooooooo!" and try to find a way to make the keys type the alphabet.

Heather calls me to the back and notions to a guy with a helmet on his head which sort of looks like a tiger, and then buys these tiger mint things which end up being like... $19.95! And i'm like... "ahhh noooo don't buy mints! i have mints!!!!!!" but she gives them her money. D:

Also, to the left of the counter was a magazine desplay and they had some magazines from Japan and, in particular, this Lolita one.... so i wanted to try to steal it but the stop keepers wouldn't give me a chance at all. D:

So we leave the store and it's kind of dark outside now. We find a little field-area with trees and stuff where these youngish people are hanging out, aparently just as disillusioned with this touristy Russian town as we are. We smoke a joint with them and it's the best thing ever. lol We agree to meet up somewhere later, but right now i wanted to explore the little town a bit father [and secretly try to find a way to the 'real' Russia, since i'm under the impression the USD might fare better in a real market rather than a manufactured one and a town can't be too far away]

Most of the buildings are just little mini museams with the content of their exhibitions in neon signs above to doors.

i pick one at random and so through the turny bar thing and walk through the door and.... omg it's so bizzare. The entire room is this glowing, pulsating series of lights. The floor is slippery and starts pulling me in. i'm kind of freaked out by the whole thing so i fight my way back to the door which i can no longer see and eventually trip and fall back in the hallway before the weird room.

i leave that one kind of weirded out and go into another one, but i see the entry fee is like... $15 so i'm like "lol see you later".

So i go to the far edge of the town where theres a wall and a little downward sweeping pathway that goes around a building and follows alongside the wall. i start going down it away from all the people, and after a while i hear someone running up towards me. i turn around to see this lady running at me, and she stops and is like "Give me all of your money!"

i figured i wasn't far away enough from everyone to yell and get someones attention, but then i also figure i can probably take her in a fight. lol

And then.... my alarm goes off!!! And wow, as it brought me back to consciousness it was a long long trip because i was very very far away. lol i also have the feeling like i had a dream about that town before, but i don't really remember.... just a feeling. ::sigh::

Also:This makes me so fucking happy!! Thanks Tivis!!! xD <3 It's probably the best use of yooouuutuuube.
[11 May 2009 | Monday] 
Also i have a tale to tell [rant about] about when i gave these strangers a ride the other day and how it just went downhill and awry sooooooo very quickly. But! i need to be... in a particular state... to write about it, of course! Sober it just makes me angry, but i'll weave a phantasmagorical tale of it later on to be certain! :D
[11 May 2009 | Monday] 
srsly ALIENS: if you ever plan on visiting to judge whether to destroy Earth or not, plz genetically modify yourselves to look like Keanu and let me persuade you with my altruism and kindness and then we can have weird hybrid babies and finally have peace in the universe!!!!!!!!!!11

Stone-acting be damned, boy is lookin' fiiiiiinnneeee!

Movie kind of sucked though.... i did mildly enjoy most of it [i mean, it's more watchable than the 51' version which i just cant sit through im sorry! Dx] but at the end its like.......... oh okay... plummet Earth back into the dark ages to fix our issues with destroying everything we lay our hands on.... and then LEAVE???? wat? D: Shitty-ass first contact, amirite? We're here to fuck up your shit and then.. okay bye.. i'm sure you'll figure it out you little rascals!
Currently watching:
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Two-Disc Widescreen Edition)
Release date: 2009-04-07
[29 Apr 2009 | Wednesday] 
i'm so happy with the possiblility of never seeing you again!
[26 Apr 2009 | Sunday] 
For when you are inebriated in any way:
Weird Als hugely unknown "Carnival of the Animals Part II"

It. Is. Fucking. Strange.



Writing this, i've uncovered a conspiracy! *shock awe* i often use the google search bar for a go-between to Wikipedia itself. But recently, ive noticed wiki pages no longer showing up on the first page of google results! i'm like "wtf, since when?". After a few days of this, i think 'maybe google is boycotting wiki in some way?'.

So i try something common, and something that isn't pop culture or current events.

"hoover"


And wiki is the first link up! Damn! My thesis was wrong!

So maybe it was what i was searching for. Tonight, it was weird al. No wiki results on the first page! So, as i often do, search "weird al wiki" to get the result on the first page.

But, nay! Nary 1 page to the "real" Wikipedia!

The first result is of the weird al-specific wikipedia (weirdal.wikia.com/) then a sublink to that and then to the wikipedia entry for Pancho fucking Villa. What the hell is the connection!? What exactly is google insinuating by this? Is wiki in on it?

My personal theory is people like him and colbert are causes of internet vandalism. Thusly google/wikipedia are censoring him out! Hmmmmm! Like the egpytians destroying hieroglyphics and shit!

im on to your little games!!!

Also, i've found a wiki search bar for firefox! Sweeeeet!

5/10/09 EDIT!: THEYVE CHANGED THE SEARCH RESULTS THOSE SLY DOGS! i should have capped it :( IM NOT NUTS I SWEAR!
[08 Apr 2009 | Wednesday] 

Whenever someone tells me "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" i am just.... taken aback! How the fuck old is that show?!

Little do they know that "Candid Camera" really just is "Big Brother". D: CANDID CAMERA IS RREAL!



[08 Apr 2009 | Wednesday] 
Okay, i am definitely a hoarder. i've gotten my behaviors from my parents who also hoard things, as much as they try to deny and claim organized chaos. Anyway, i've been tyring to clean my room up and organize it and cut out the clutter. We FINALLY got the dryer fixed
[it has caught ON FIRE because of a loose electrical wire or something. My dad had been on the roof nailing new sheets of tin on it, and somehow he disturbed the wire and it touched the exhaust pipe thing and it went up in flames! Luckily, the fire was easily put out!]
so i've been spending my time washing clothes and just generally tiding up rather than doing actual cleaning. And now it's so late... bah... i'll just put it off til tomorrow...or the next day.
But i did take pictures, for the morbidly curious and students of psychology who are interested in hoaring behavior. lol i think it would be interesting to compare these pictures with the pictures i posted a few years ago and see how many things are sitting in THE EXACT SAME SPOT. lolololol It's probably quite a bit! Thats what i'm going to do once i post them and thus have a clean format on which to view them.



New Mucha poster! i think it might be hung off-level, but i can't really tell. Also, i know what you're thinking. You're thinking "CHEESE AND RICE, WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL THOSE WATER BOTTLES?!"



Yeeeaaaah. To be honest, i'm not sure how it got THAT bad, but i'd feel so guilty throwing them away! i do reuse them sometimes, but most of them just sit there. i'm slowly working my way through them and using the water in it to water plants and such.... but i don't know what to do with the bottle! You can't really recycle it, right? Anyone have any tips?
Also, i love liqueurs! It's the only alcohol i'll drink! [more or less] :3



Ugh! i don't even know what to do! No matter what, this just turns into a pile of chaos!!!!!



Top of my bookshelf. Comics, magazines, action figures! The new clock i got at Target today.... it's pretty bad ass! i just don't know where to put it! Dx




i organized my books to be rainbow'd! Also, say hi to mr. piggy! :D



:/






HONEY SMACKS! They are NOT "eat in bed while reading" food. It gets EVERYWHERE!!!! lol
ALSO NOTE MY AWESOME WALL-E PILLOW CASE DOODZ!



Always bad



If you were to lay in my bed, this is your view! Ooh-la-la!



This picture isn't reversed. Just saying....



<3



Closet! Actually rather organized and nice! [i cleaned it about a week ago. lol]



Oh yeah... look at that order and....



OMFG! ZERO POINTS! YOU CAN'T EVEN WALK IN THERE!

NO! SRSLY! All that stuff will be gone soon! It's the stuff that i'm going to eBay or Yard Sale or Goodwill! IT WILL BE GONE SOON!
[It's funny, because i know i mentioned selling those black shoes with the red inside of them in my last room-picture-post and that was YEARS AGO!  PROCRASTINATION TO THE EXTREME!!!!



For old times sake, make it pictures of the bookcase covered in fabric and scraps of diy-able stuff!



Bathroom sink! Just for the hell of it!



i took a picture of myself because i'm a camwhore! D:

Also, this thing:



i'm not sure what it is.... possibly some outdated kind of ink-holder for computers in the early 90s.... but i always wanted to fill it with stuff. So i open it and........



omg! i already put stuff in it!



A jack and a lizard and tiny ninjas!!!



Its like Chirstmas!!!

OKAY

So stay tuned for the hair-raising conclusion!!!!!