Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 100
Sign: Libra
City: Savannah
State: Georgia
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/15/2006
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Monday, June 08, 2009
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+Lincoln faces to the right on the penny, while all other U.S. presidents face to the left on their coins. +On average, 100 people choke on ballpoint pens each year. +No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times. +99% of pumpkins sold in the U.S. end up as jack-o-lanterns. +Fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toenails. +Every time you lick a stamp, you consume one tenth of a calorie. +The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. +An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. +Only female misquitos bite. +You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching T.V. +Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. +There are more germs in your mouth than in your butt. +A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
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Saturday, November 22, 2008
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In the marketing industry, there is a tactic called creating a need and filling it. Teeth whitening is a perfect example. It isn't healthy, it's terrible unnatural, and, of course, it certainly isn't a need. We throw that word around a lot these days, when the actual noun to be used is "want". And we can want unneeded things horribly; a crude, infantile want that surrounds us with the desperate asphyxiation of a boa constrictor. It can hover as an intoxicating gas, filling our lungs so that we breathe it in and, when forced, begrudgingly breathe it out. It can become an obsession, this want, setting up shop in the brain and snubbing any weak-willed landlord who meekly offers an eviction notice.
How could something so insistently powerful have come to be? It isn't a need, as we've said. There are three basic needs in addition to one which is only a need as far as living goes; it is of no consequence in escaping the coroner. The three basic needs are food, clothing, and shelter. The fourth is love. The want that may possess us is entirely unaffiliated with these, and with any other emotion, for that matter. So again, how did it come about?
There is a vast chance that it was started by the very obvious choice of the marketing industry. With pretty pictures and reassuring voices coming from beautiful mouths with too-white teeth and the power to shoot these esthetically pleasing moments into our brains as frequently as they may, is it such a wonder? The question of why we can wait in line for hours for a product that we've been drooling over for weeks to find it in our hands and become bored, well, that question becomes almost rhetorical. It's about the hunt that those pretty pictures and sounds have inspired. The want is all they need.
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Thursday, June 19, 2008
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Someone else's lifetime ago I picked you up at a party cause I was drunk and you were a good kisser now, somehow we're still together and the ever changing weather of my affections has settled even though I keeping breaking like I used to, you know, before you, just not the same way though you stay and hold my hand as the tidal waves crash, crash, backlash till, still, fingers interlaced, I'm ok And I wanna say thank you and I love you and all those words that have almost lost their meanings but we haven't thought of new ways to show, say gratitude yet so they'll have to do and I bet that next time I'm running on insomnia and 10 cups of coffee you'll cradle me and eventually we'll fall asleep wake up with a smile to your arms being my quick dry glue creep out of bed holding my own or, trying to we'll get in your car with some smokes and some tunes and counting the colors in each others eyes will be enough to make all the other stuff not seem so hard making existing an almost easy thing to do, so here it is: Ode to you.
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Monday, August 27, 2007
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Here is the knot in my gut you tied and here is my pulse I can't slow down did you know that she cried so I cried which you've hit me for before I started carrying a knife though in the climax I fumbled and crumbled so easily with a plastic band that told me my name. Your throne is a chair and that doesn't mean much just a touch of arrogance just a place to sit until the music starts with a heavy bass line commanding you to your feet Though in this round nobody stole your seat it was burned and as you stood back and learned nothing but the extent of your rage blurs came into focus persuading salt water to drip from six eyes with such urgency, as if the question mark punctuating the last 15 years could be transformed into a calm period by mascara drawing black rivers on my face. My place is malleable but change is hard and this bed is so comfortable in contrast to my thoughts, persisting and insisting that I make love to my life which requires acceptance and now that dependence has lost all meaning and needs are just extreme feigning I've begun to grow. So, here is the scar you left on my heel and here is the picture you tore I swear cause I swore I'll move on. Without reign, 15 years gone.
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Thursday, August 16, 2007
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Coming home shitfaced was the best idea I've had in a while. Seriously.
My sleeping pattern is normal again- bye bye nocturnal girl-, and I'm grounded for a week. I'm looking at it as a vacation, of sorts. I needed something to get out of the numbness that I've been feeling lately. I needed something to make me put my life back together. And, ladies and gentlemen, this was it. My mom didn't give me the whole "You've broken my trust" talk, probably because she hasn't trusted me for a long time. Thats fine. I hate those lectures. Guilt tripping just makes me feel like shit and then go off and do things more sneakily....is sneakily a word? I decided a few days ago to take a nice break from the drug scene. Now, for a week, I'm going to hang out in my room, do my school shit, read lots of books, make stuff, meditate, and get cancer via nic sticks. I don't know what will happen in a week. I'll have my phone back and a brand-new 10 pm curfew. I guess the odd thing is that I don't feel restricted. I just feel helped out.
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007
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Hair: at 14 long and brown, uneven bangs, mod bangs, bob, chelsea with purple bangs and a braid, chelsea with blonde bangs and no braid, blue hair with no bangs, then at 15 black hair (faux hawk), mohawk, mohawk with bleached tips, sort-of chelsea with sort-of bangs with bleached tips. Same thing but with blue bangs. Now: pink hair with purple bangs.
Piercings: ok. let's see. I got my ears pierced when I was 9. They are now 0g. 2nd ear piercings at 11. now 14g. left nostril pierced at 14. closed up. belly button at 14. closed up. tongue at 15. 14g. Nipples at 15. 14g, closed up. cartilage at 15. closed up. and now I have a 14g septum.
Tattoo ideas: a ring of blue forget-me-nots around my right wrist like a bracelet. The moon phases as a belt around my hips. A feminist/peace symbol on either the left or right side of my lower back.
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Friday, April 06, 2007
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running on 180 minutes of unconsciousness that I can hardly call sleep work 420 minutes plus ten extra crusty fingers caked on dough I'm tired. car ride- no music, no seatbelt, no shoes skinny legs to rest my head on followed by a cup of cold coffee that I chug like beer after a heartbreak. I wish it would burn my tongue I wish it would give me some physical evidence that I can stop feeling if I feel enough but, it doesn't. So I rest my head on your skinny legs that make my second hand couch look cozy I'm tired and cold coffee won't cut it and my eyes refuse to focus on the complex plot line of whatever anime show is on. But every five minutes the dog jumps up onto my face or my mom bitches about school or my little brother decides that he won't leave me alone until I give him a cigarette. My eyes won't focus and I'm tired and stressed the fuck out and then you kiss me. and 180 minutes of sleep seems like 12 hundred and I get up cause I know your skinny legs will be there if I need them.
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Saturday, January 27, 2007
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Alice Burkfield sat in a cold wood-and-metal desk which was one of a hundred cold wood-and-metal desks in a cream cinderblock room. Her hair was the color of straw after a storm and it was sticking out in static-charged strands in response to Julian Polk who was conspicuously rubbing a sickly green balloon to her head.
Ms. Kent, their chemistry teacher, had left the class five minutes before, saying that she would be right back and leaving Carol Rum in charge. Carol was sitting in the biggest wood-and-metal desk in the room, which belonged to Ms. Kent, and she chewed pink gum and busied herself with her cell phone.
Alice turned to Julian suddenly and with one fluid movement popped the balloon with her long and manicured nails. Carol glared and blew a sugary pink bubble.
"You could have just said stop." grumbled Julian.
"Yes, but it wouldn't have made that fun sound." Alice retorted.
Stephen Goodman pushed his glasses back into place with his index finger and sneezed, making them fall back down his nose. Mark Andrews carved crude figures into the wood of his desk. Brittany Stewart stared at a slightly chewed pencil and brushed her chemically straightened hair. Dustan Robertson head banged to a song that only he could hear. Carol Rum chewed her gum.
"Hey, Julian?"
"What, Alice?"
"Where is Ms. Kent?"
"We aren't supposed to talk" sighed Carol.
"Shut it," Alice growled.
The question of their teacher's whereabouts was forgotten, for the moment. The students amused themselves in their own ways for another twenty minutes. By this point, Dustan's neck was too sore to rock, Mark had run out of room on his desk, Brittany's arm was tired, Stephen had used all the tissues in his travel pack, and Carol's gum had lost it's flavor. Alice and Julian muttered to each other about nothing in particular.
"Hey, Julian?"
"What, Alice?"
"It's been 10:15 for half an hour."
"The clock is just dead." Julian threw a crumpled wad of paper at Carol.
"What do you want?"
"What time is it?"
"10:15"
Alice and Julian's eyes widened to the size of four identical jelly golf balls.
"You're sure?" Alice whispered.
"Duh I'm sure."
"I'm going to find a janitor and tell him that our clocks are broken." as Julian said this, he attempted to get out of his desk. He couldn't. He looked at Alice. She tried to stand. She couldn't. Brittany dropped her brush and could not get up to retrieve it. Mark decided to move in order to have more carving space to find that he was stuck to his seat. All of them tried to get up. All of them were trapped in their small wood-and-metal desks, except for Carol Rum, who was trapped in her rather large wood-and-metal desk.
At this point, Dustan Robertson let out a long and imaginative string of profanity, Mark Andrews began violently stabbing his carvings, Julian Polk sat silently with his jaw set, Alice Burkfield hyperventilated, Brittany Stewart compulsively clawed her fingers through her hair, Carol Rum smacked her stale gum with a newly intense vigor, and Stephen Goodman could be heard quietly sniffling in the back of the room.
"This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real."
"Carol?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut. Up."
Carol made an offended noise and crossed her skinny arms over her blue sweater. Stephen made a gurgling sound and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
"Hey...hey guys"
"What, Steve?" Brittany tried to sound gentle. Her voice came out in a frantic hiccup. Stephen was about to tell her that he preferred his real name, not some abbreviation, but swallowed a glob of saliva instead.
"Well, just, Carol has a phone, can't we call someone?"
She looked at her phone to discover that it was suddenly out of service. Stephen started sniffling again. Dustan continued his list of obscenities and Alice wondered if he didn't have Turrets. He was shaking now, and everyone around him leaned away, as much as they could, because just you don't want to be too close to a cussing shaking kid who head bangs to the rhythm of the AC. Especially when you're stuck to your seat. He fumbled with his jacket which hung on the back of his chair and extracted half of a Camel Wide and a red Bic from the inside pocket.
"What are you doing?" screeched Carol and Brittany in unison.
"Smoking."
After two drags he had stopped shaking, and after three, the smoke set the overhead sprinkler system off. The class yelled, straining their vocal cords, making veins stick out in their necks. After an hour they were too exhausted to do anything but feel the water raise up to their knees, then waists, then elbows. By now, everyone was crying, was confessing, was praying, except for Julian Polk. He glared at the giant dry erase board with his jaw set. When the water got to his nose, he inhaled deeply and purposefully.
Ms. Kent looked through the small window in the classroom door and smiled.
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
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I'm thinking back to when your face was a half moon shadow and you laughed- everything was funny then. Everything was funny when we sat front to back in the car cracking jokes until we pulled up too fast on a gravel driveway that day we trecked miles in circles of stores in brick bruildings... sun gleaming on our sunburned noses, making it tempting to stop and ask tourists for SPF 500 lotion. I ate chicken in secret and we smoked cherry cigarettes on your floor with the wire balcony door opened just enough to let the night peek in we've forgotten skeletons and replaced the obsession with an addiction clouds billowing from our throats up to the ceiling its so easy- sinking back and forgetting nicotine and kerosine put out- shoved back into the depths of another bottomless purse today we are mermaids falling into the ocean conck shells are telephones kelp latches onto our limbs making cold seaweed dresses and under all the pressure drinking salt water that we know is as good as arcinik- or should be we can finally breathe. press fast forward until you get to right now and stop you say "this. this is what I'm talking about"
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Thursday, August 31, 2006
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She always sang snips of songs from bands I never knew existed until she told me so. Her voice was stained like red wine on a white shag carpet from the cigarettes she never stopped smoking, but somehow that made it even more beautiful. Sometimes she wrote her own songs. I was always surprised at how eloquently she sang of pain and things wrong in the world. She made me think in a strange way that before her I had never experienced. It was like she took my mind with her strong hands and turned it slightly to the left, just enough for me to see the oil spills in the ocean. Then, slightly to the right. I could see the bombs and the wars that half the population supported. Suddenly, I was looking straight ahead on my own accord. I could see what we were heading towards. I was in awe that I had never considered the inevitable before this girl. She left her mark on me more then the way I saw things. My appearance changed drastically. I cut the entire 14 a 1/3 inches of my hair so that I was awkwardly bald. I wore low cut shirts and stopped painting my nails; my neck was always bloched with hickeys. Combat boots replaced stilettos, and my jeans got tighter as I lost weight. I hummed "mad world" by Gary Jules to myself as I read thick books about poor people and prisons, I drank black coffee and joined the circle of nicotine addicts. I could see poetry in strangers. I could taste the seasons on the back of my tongue where the 'sweet' receptors are. We stalked the town hand-in-hand, musing over religion and why everything matters.
Then it happened. She walked into my room strung out with her bra straps hanging conspicuously off her shoulders. Her hair was greasy and her eyes looked wild. I started to sit up from my leaning position on my bed, but she shoved me down. "Listen" she said fiercely. "I've gotta get out. It's too hot here. It's too hot." "I'll run you a cool shower" "NO!" I froze with my hand two inches from a disregarded towel that had been slung over a chair. "Yeah, this room is too hot. But this whole place is too! Don't you get it? Its fucking killing me!" I stared at her, wide-eyed and thought She's high. She isn't serious. "I just wanted to tell you. I'll be back for a while when it cools down. heh-" she chuckled wryly "I'm like a fucking bird. The new Bird Girl." and she walked unsteadily out of my apartment, into the street, and down the road. I called her. Her phone was off.
It was weird. Like everything I had believed in had suddenly blinked out of existence. I decided she was dead after two months of no word.
In early December I lit a cigarette and inhaled Winter sharply into my mouth. The next day, she appeared singing a song that I had never heard before. "Hey, Bird Girl."
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