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Mikail

Last Updated: 8/28/2009

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Status: Single
City: Nevada City
State: California
Country: US

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Saturday, November 25, 2006

track info for the music I've posted here

NOTES ON THE MUSIC & SOUND WORKS I HAVE POSTED HERE

Short Sampler Parts 1 & 2 • 27:36 total
this is a short 27 min sampler collection featuring various excerpts of works composed between 1988 & 2000 for a variety of films, live theater including works in progress.
If you would like more information on the various individual pieces please let me know and I will post it here or forward it along to you via email.
Please Note: some of the pieces in these samplers have pauses and or develop over a few minutes and may not sound right away when you first click on one.

The Lost Tango 4:35
composed for an early 2006 winter NCCC "Meet The Composer's" evening where each of the NCCC composers composed a Tango. Mine is not a classic tango by any stretch, in fact I find it to be rather disturbing in places like a surreal nightmarish tale full of a loose and abrupt musical madness, and in many ways perhaps a reflection of where my own mental and emotional state happened to be during the time of its conception and subsequent execution enjoy or don't, clearly its your choice ;)

What Do I Need Jesus For? 2:59
have a listen, its pretty obvious... oh and btw the spoken word is actor Brad Dourif taken from John Huston's Wise Blood film released in 1979 which I highly recommend you watch if you have not already...

previous posted work info...

Invisible Life • 2002 • 11:26
this is a piece I composed about a restaurant in Germany where those that have sight are served in pitch black by those that are blind, the concept of which totally fascinated me when I heard about it. It was first performed for the Nevada County Composers Cooperative "Summer Fest" in 2002. There is also a second version which includes text feature my my long time collaborator John Deaderick. For more information about dining in the dark check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blindekuh_(restaurant)

Falling From A Comet Into The Sea • 2003 • 9:07
this work was first performed at the 2003 NCCC Festival Of New Music and featured a Chinese Flute solo by Bill Douglass which has been omitted here, also there was a beautiful set and movement choreographed by my good friend and artistic partner Menlo Macfarlane. It is loosely based upon a commentary about falling from one reality into another. The version here is an abbreviated excerpt.

thanks for checking out my work here on myspace... mikail

for more info on what I am up to check out my main website at: Mikail Graham.com

7:16 PM

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Saturday, November 25, 2006

A Letter to my Father Sunday, October 22, 2000
Category: Life

Hi Dad,

Its funny how in almost 46 years of my life I have never written you a letter before, never spoke to you about who and what you have been to me in this life, what your place in this world has meant to me. Funny how here in the country of India of all places I finally seem to come across the words to share with you, ah but better late than never eh?

In all the years we have known one another I can remember perhaps only a couple of times that you let me in to see who you really are underneath that hard old shell you have surrounded yourself in. But in those brief glimpses I saw a great man, a man with a good and kind heart, a man with a passion for love and for life, and also a man who let his fears of this world cripple many of his dreams. Dad what hurt you so badly to make you so scared? That is a question I doubt I will ever know the answer to, but it is also not what is important for me or you right now, for what is clear to me is to tell you how I feel about the refection of myself that I see in you, for are we not all but reflections of one another in the end?

Take a moment and relax, take a deep breath and remember who you are Malcolm, remember the joy of being a child and all the dreams you had, remember your imagination and how full of ideas you were so long ago, and just let it be..

Dad you were my giant friend, like a God to me with a hairy body and muscles that could lift and hold me or knock me down. You had a voice that could make me smile or make me run in terror when your anger got the best of you, but through all of our joy and sorrow one thing remained constant, I have always loved you, please stop and hear those words..

I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU DAD!

Whenever I have said ..I love you.. you got stiff and did not know what to do, probably like your doing right now. Why you feel that way is not the issue, just giving into LOVE is.

Its hard to say how much time in this body you have left, nobody knows for sure how long any of us have really, but while you are still here I wanted you to know that I see in you a divine being, kind of like an angel really, you got lost in the shadows here and there along the way, but the light never lost track of you.

I imagine at this point in your life as you think its almost over and time for you to check out that there is nothing much left to do other than to just hang around and be, well guess what? You are right, just be, and just relax, and just let yourself off the hook. Its time to forgive yourself for all the mistakes and all the pain you caused yourself and to those around you. You made some bad calls, you made some good calls, we all do, but at the end of the day its just what it was and nothing will ever change any of it, and the truth is that it is all perfect just the way it is. We can complain until the cows come home, but it won..t make a bit of difference so again, just let it all be.

If you have read this far then I guessed right, if not then what does it matter? So read on just a bit more and then I..ll be done for while..

Dad we both know you could have raised me better, could have been a better father, a better mentor, a bigger hero, but hey, nobody is perfect. In my opinion looking back at the past 45 and a half years of knowing you in this life, I think you did the best you could with the tools you had. I think based on how you were raised and what you had to go through to become the man you are, you did a damned good job and I for one would like to thank you for taking care of me when I was in need. Like when I broke my leg and you came and carried me to the hospital, like when I was so drunk in the garage that first time and you carried me into the house and put me in the shower, like when you let me ride in your truck alongside you and it made me feel so loved and happy, like when you gave me money to eat or buy clothes or when you just cared enough to call and say hi. Those times and oh so many more I remember are like special treasures, little jewels that I will always hold close to my heart. I mean for God sake you are my Dad, and plain and simple I love you now more than I ever could when I was young and mad and full of fear..

Fear, that word, the problem with all the humans on this planet, FEAR.
Don..t let it continue to rule your world my friend, face it, embrace it, recognize it for what it truly is .. Fear is like a guardian, its there to alert you and tell you something is wrong, to wake you up, to prepare you for change .. not to drag you down and crush your spirit. They just never taught us how to deal with it or understand it so we..d have to figure it out on our own, and some of us do and some of don..t. But like the old saying goes, the greatest fear is fear itself, so if you haven..t already done so .. JUST LET IT GO!

Dad please remember that, for one day perhaps these words will be there to comfort you in your great time of fear..

There is something I..ve always wanted to tell you, and I know your mind is tired, your spirit weak, but your soul is still strong so maybe you will hear this next part. Dad even though you tried so hard to grow up and be an adult, a part of you is still like a child and still wants to be playful, I know because I can hear it in your voice when we talk, you..re a big kid Dad and I bet in another life we would have been great friends having all kinds of good times together, but that is not what we chose this time around, and so here we are.

I don..t know when the last time was that somebody told you this, but I..m telling you now from me to you - you..re a good man Malcolm, and the fact that you..re my Dad makes it even better.

OK, I don..t know how much of this you can hear or take in, maybe it will take a couple of readings to get it I don..t know, but down the road when that final moment comes and its time for you to go just remember I know who you really are and rest easy as you don..t have to be afraid anymore, its time to come home.

Loving you eternal no matter what..

mikail

note: my father passed just a few days before his 90th birthday in 2003, I read this letter at his wake... I also created an Altar about him for the 2004 Alturas De Mundo show and followed that up by producing a two hour radio program about my life with him which you can listen to at my radio show website: The Other Side