I’ve been looking forward to writing my next blog to reach out, pontificate, emote and basically bask in near-complacence...as a "self-absorbed ’artist’".

Then I woke up and it was the 40th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s Assassination...

Have a thoughtful weekend...I know I will.

(from ’A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King’)

"There comes a time when one must take the position that it is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right. I believe today that there is a need for all people of good will to come with a massive act of conscience and say in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "We ain’t goin’ study war no more."  This is the challenge facing modern man... 

…We shall overcome because the arc of a moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.  We shall overcome because Carlyle is right-no lie can live forever. We shall overcome because William Cullen Bryant is right-truth crushed to earth will rise again. We shall overcome because James Russell Lowell is right-as we were singing earlier today, "Truth forever on the scaffold, wrong forever on the throne, yet that scaffold sways the future, and behind the demon known, stands a God within the shadow, keeping watch above his own."  With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair the stone of hope.

With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. 

 Thank God for John, who centuries ago out on a lonely, obscure island called Patmos caught vision of a new Jerusalem descending out of heaven from God, who heard a voice saying, "Behold, I make all things new-former things are passed away."  God grant that we will be participants in this newness and this magnificent development.  If we will but do it, we will bring about a new day of justice and brotherhood and peace.  And that day the morning stars will sing together and the sons of God will shout for joy…" 

...and who would want it any other way?Yesterday realizing my fridge really was broken, I was forced to think like the eskimos...Since it's freezing here, I put my soy milk and pickles in between the screen and door of the back patio. I felt so proud of myself that I was that resourceful.Within the same day, I started tracking this song I wrote a couple weeks ago...I've been searching for just one day to myself to put a song down...then the phone rang...and it rang and just when I was about to turn it off (no-really) My friend Robert called to see if I wanted to go see his partner Ronnie Milsap play at a taping for GAC at the Opry...hmmm, yeah. He didn't mention that we'd be sitting with him or Charlie Daniels, or Trace Adkins, Carrie Underwood and Dierks Bentley and Vince GILLLL... or that Loretta Lynn...omg... would step on my toe and giggle with me as she almost knocked me over with her 5 foot frame...not to be a name dropper, but you have to understand how surreal it was...It was all I could do to not tell Charlie I had just played "Devil Went Down to Georgia" the night before with the society band I just started playing with.  Huh?  Yes it's a Rodeo......the society band.  Last weekend, I was handed over a couple hundred songs, a stack of violin sheet music and 8 hours to 'learn' them...which meant violin, vocals and backing vocals. I admit I actually choked back tears on the phone with a friend. Clearly they had more faith in me than I could ever have myself.  It's a reoccurring nightmare that I am found out to be a phony.  Ever since my violin teacher convinced my parents I couldn't read music and I was grounded til I could tell them all the notes to "Gavotte" and "Minuet 12", I'm always afraid people will figure out that I really don't have a clue. Though I can read now, it didn't help that I was drowning in doubt that I could play 3 roles...open the gate, ride the bull and be the clown....still, somehow I fooled them and they seemed to be quite happy. I even made some friends...and I NEVER want to do that again...but now I can afford to fix my fridge:)Robert got me home so I could lay a back vocal on my new song before I went to bed...that turned into 4am as I wrestled with a glitch in my recorder.  It's fitting that you can sorta hear it right when I say "In tact"...like the other demo's I've been putting up, they all seem to have a beautiful character flaw.  I love giving them accidental multiple personalities as I sing what were just words, I find myself making inside jokes with myself or swipe ideas on purpose...yes U2 fans-I purposely did the "I will follow" harmony...maybe I'll be the only one to find humor in what I do...seems to be the story of my life...at the rodeo. I love it. All of it.So the Always Never, Forever...that's the song I wrote for Sam and Jeni's wedding present...whether they wanted it or not;)  I agreed to play it last week in Chicago and totally spaced it...so I put it up for my friend.  It's a pretty personal tune so if you understand the "small" references or the "forever" or "God" situation, then it might be entertaining...otherwise...well, again...I've entertained myself.In the meantime, I may have a broken fridge but recently was handed some pretty unbelievable-so I won't say it yet...cuz I can't believe it yet...news about the possible direction of my...what is it called-career?  Hmmmm...no...it's a rodeo......and I am the luckiest cowgirl on earth.Daniel just pulled up...he likes the rodeo too.I swear I only had a half a cup 'o coffee.

Heather Lynne...
p.s. I think I'm actually finger picking in the new demo!

You laugh in my face
Like a slamming door
Through the mist of your breath…I am drenched
And wade back for more
And I call you …out
But in a moments time
You throw me under the bus
And then you scrape me up

You're so wrong
For me
 
When you close your eyes
I  will follow suit
Like a loyal pet – I hang-
On your every…word
And your minds in tact
No one more clever yet
While your memory selects
To cover up your debts

You're so wrong
So wrong
 
Every man of whom I've been
Wishes he were you
I don't believe you when
You say you wish you were you too
And you make up new laws
So you'll never belong
Cuz you're really not that tough-she was right
You're wrong…

So wrong for me

This batch has worked before
no, this spell, it ain't new
Romeo, this ain't your fault
Dear God, I asked you to
And I'm back on your bull
Ridin' high on number 99
Hopin this rodeo's our last
For the hundredth time

You're so wrong
For me
You're so wrong
For me
So wrong

Always, Never, Forever...

She's never known a ring before
that symbolized or told a story
quite the way this ruby 'do'

She's never tasted someone's mind
or smelled the lack of reason
while true love's so fresh and new

And never will he say, "forever"
or taint this moment here, together
change-her black to blue...

You-are the smallest thing
He's ever loved
Though you are the biggest one
of all
You- have been sewn inside
his heart


He's never traveled down this road
"the sacred one," or so he's, told
without safety procured

And never has he seen himself
so perfectly reflected in brown eyes
of which was lured

And never will she say, "forever"
fain naivety to think they'd measure
something so fragile and pure, but...

You-are the smallest thing
she's ever loved
And you are the biggest one
of all
You have been sewn inside
her heart
-
And it's about time...it's most certainly time
-
He's never dreamed that he would wish
for one to keep him marching tightly in one line...

But never had he met someone
for better or for worse to read his mind
his twisted mind

And never will they say, "forever"
taint these meanings time has gathered
He say's,' love, don't say, "forever"'
even though it's likely
He could...

You- are the smallest thing
he has ever loved
But baby, you are the biggest one
of all

You-have been sewn inside
You-have been set aside by God
hand selected for his heart

 

 

 

 

 

It had been four years…since 'Van Lear Rose'…that I had sought out or hoisted a cd with such obsess or intent. Mr. Burnett had me at the first snare to floor tom of the Everly Brother's "Gone, Gone, Gone"…but when Mr. Buc played, "Nothin" two weeks ago on a WRLT Saturday morn…I tripped-literally-to get to the phone in time to get Daniel before the song was over to say, THIS is what I'm 'talkin' 'bout'.  What's crazy is that just the night before, he told me there was a Townes Van Zandt song he wanted me to do and would send it to me…as fate would have it,'twas "Nothin''".  So now that I've been in and out of a hypnotic coma for the last week listening to 'Raising Sand', I got a New Year's Day present via email, this morn.
 

So I've been listening to Townes' original all morning…had to step away for a minute to regain my composure…and true, the line taken out for the Plant/Krauss version is the best one- "Your back ain't strong enough for burden's double fold…they'll crush you down-down into nothin'"…two weeks ago, I had sat like a schoolgirl across the dinner table from Nanci Griffith as she told beautiful stories of the complex man of who she loved-as a friend and an artist…I tried so hard to not let my green, 'green' eyes give me away of how I hung on-or related to- every word that left her own girlish mouth.  I wish the world could have heard her defend him as 'misunderstood' and kind and gentle as other's at the table interjected their own not-so-dreamy experiences with him in the 'state' he was most known for. Hmmm…I suggested-as if-that perhaps it was because he respected her that he kept those 'colors' from her…she proudly and modestly agreed. First class.
 

So as far as the song goes- nothin'.  Even if I had gotten my hands on the Townes version first, I could never imagine touching this song…the Plant/Krauss/Burnett version in itself, is perfection.  The entire Raising Sand CD is perfection-literally, a perfect compilation.  D.K. also pointed out after gaining his own composure upon first listen, that it sounds so 'Tom Waits' …aside from the cover of "Trampled Rose". He then schooled me about Marc Ribot, who's on all but two tracks…I'll stop here by emploring all of ya' to acquire this masterpiece.

 
In the meantime, thanks to the unexpected, but ever-welcome reactions to my exposure of my Achilles heel and other related vulnerabilities through the first of now to be a series of new song posts. So I'm putting up another ultra-rough living room demo of a new song, "Starin' at the Telephone"…my friend, Bobby, who's a brilliant sound engineer, asked me last night if I could make an effort to minimize the background noises in the new offerings…ie in "I wanna die in my sleep" there was an ambulance siren embedded into the track…not a chance, Bobby:). In this one, you can hear my phone ring in the background at the last verse of "I'm landlocked and anchored to a line of tears and woe…" to me, that phone ringin' is poetic-and in it's lack of refinement, to me, is perfection.

 
Happy New Year's Everything…today the rain actually turned into snow:)

Heather

 
Staring At The Telephone HH/08

 
You said I'm brilliant
You said I'm lovely
You said you're always thinkin' of me

 
You said you're tired
You wanna settle down
Tired of chasin' the past around

 
Still I'm starin' at the telephone
I'm landlocked and anchored to a line of tears
and woe…

 
Tell me when we met, babe, cuz I don't know
Hold on now that's not true
That's a lie for sure

 
I'm glarin' at the telephone
I'm drowning in a sea of tears
and woe…
 

If you want me baby, I don't know
If you want me that's a helluva way to show…

 
I feel faint and just shy of checkin out
I can't eat or think or laugh or breathe with ease
When you ain't about…

 
I'm pissed at the telephone
I am cuffed and bound in twine of tears
and woe…

 
I'm tired as well and wanna settle down
But I'm sick and had it with chasin you around…

 
I'm soaking in desire of a memory
And choke-chokin back on a sigh that's laced in ecstasy

 
I'm starin' at the telephone
I'm landlocked and anchored to a line of tears
and woe…

 
If you want me baby, I don't know
If you want me, that's a helluva way to show
If I'll wait for you babe, I don't know
If I'll wait for you babe, I don't know

 

So it's Christmas Eve...and I am gifted with a day of reflection and solitude.  Back 'in the day', Thanksgiving was always the day I got to be by myself...everyone would feel so sorry for me, while I was so relieved and felt so free.  I knew where everyone was-safe and warm and surrounded by love (and chaos) from their families. My ritual was to make a list of everything I was thankful for and to make a list of all the people I was thankful for, grab the phone and go down the list.  It's a pretty beautiful dilemna to realize when the list is too long to even dream of getting through.  That being said, I want this to be my official 'call'...to all the people who have been there for me-despite myself-unconditionally...and to those who seem to magically resurface in my certain time of change, uncertainty and growth.  I haven't been very good with communication lately...I am very aware. I apologize for seeming impervious. You must know how much I appreciate your love.

My 'abrupt' move to Nashville is proving to be more and more interesting every day. I have been meeting the most fascinating people as this town is so rich with history and living legends...and people aren't exaggerating when they say how small Nashville is.. it is soooooo small. According to my predecessors here, things have happened very quickly for me...I've discovered that is mostly good, but while opportunities surface and for those who know me, it's always been very trying for me to make decisions  that affect other people. I am avidly working on shifting that philosophy:) I'm learning fast that it is o.k. to accept success and opportunities. It is o.k. to love what you do for work.  It is o.k. to accept appreciation. As soon as I started putting this revelation to practice, a whole new sky started opening up to me...and once again, I am thankful, full of love and am inspired beyond memory...and I am reminded and comforted that 'Truth' always prevails.

So Daniel Karlish came over yesterday-my music obsessive counterpart and the next David Lindley-and we went through literally hundreds of tunes original and otherwise, putting our upcoming project together...can't wait to unveil that one...  After he left, I felt motivated and got the guts to tackle recording this song I'd written almost a month ago. I've actually been dreaming of it's essence for years.  I can't explain why some songs you write make you feel so much more vulnerable than others, but I think this one finds me completely naked - representing, perhaps, my deepest fantasies and fears about true love...

So, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas...Happy Birthday if I forgot someone this year, too:)
Love-endless amounts of love...
-Heather

"I Wanna Die In My Sleep"

It was one of those sweet sticky late afternoons
back in the summer of '83
I was late comin' home from the lake
I swear I couldn't hear my mom screamin'at the top of her lungs for me

I was deaf and I was frozen - fixed on the vision of you
wedged inside that tire swing
You swore you could go even higher
to ensure your audience would never leave

Now ten years have swung on by
and we both soared even higher
from the day you side-saddled me 'pon that tire swing
to the day you swore you'd plant on my left hand
a big fat wedding ring

Through the braces and the prom
you never swung with another heart
and as mine grew-and as young as I was
I knew
I would never last one single day
without you

I wanna die in my sleep
dreaming while you're next to me
of love we gave
and love we made
under a tire swing

We built our castle with our own bare hands
and we replanted that childhood tree
And we farmed and nurtured our loving souls
in fields as far as our eyes could see

We lived off these gardens of a love so rare and true
and with each harvest we grew
and with each child we bore
proved my life was to be lived for you

Now ten years have grown on by
and we've both grown even higher
from the day I fell in love with you under that tire swing
to the day you swore your soul
on that big fat wedding ring

Through the seasons and life altering storms
you never thought of another heart
And as ours melted together and we rivaled the weather
I knew
I could never take one single breath
without you

I wanna die in my sleep
So I'll never know how it feels
to take in air
of complete dispair
to be darker than death
without you there

br: So Lord, please take me
let them burry me under his tree.

That day you took me for a long walk through our fields
of starry, starry love
and told me a tale that I knew just couldn't be true
Because doctors - they are wrong each and every day
So I wouldn't listen-you couldn't make me listen- to a damn thing you'd say

So 10 months just flew on by
And I refuse to say goodbye...
...

I'm lost and bewildered from a lack of nutrition
since they took you from me
And I am deaf and I am frozen with the vision of you
wedged inside that tire swing
I beg of God to take me with you

Please let me die in my sleep
waking with him next to me
so the love we gave
and the love we made
grows under that tire swing

....Please, take me

So it finally happened...that one show, that one moment in your life that you say to yourself..."this is what I've done all 'this' for"...

I was invited to open for one of my true heroines, Joan Armatrading, at the House of Blues in Chicago, 2 weeks ago...I've played there a dozen times, but to be invited unsuspecting to play my own songs and for her, was such an honor and was surreal both on stage and even now as I write this. Joan's audience is a hard-core bunch...I was armed with Chris Forte on guitar and I had violin and guitar in either hand. I would have understood if they threw stuff at us or even talked through our 45 minute set...but for each song, you could hear a pin drop in the sold out house.  I wanted to throw up.  If I hadn't had a huge swig of Gatorade, before we went on, I was sure to. But I didn't...and either did Chris...in fact we gave the performance of our lives...and if we hadn't, that's how I had decided to remember it anyway! HA!

To close my heavenly visit back to Chicago, I did a Wednesday at my beloved Underground Wonder Bar and then played BAM fest with the beloved, Mr. McDermott...I had to double back for two showcases back to back the next night here in Nashville for the two artists I now play with...both, like Michael are in such promising positions of their careers and I feel so full to know I'm contributing to people's dreams as others have for me (and hopefully will continue to:))...I've never felt so valued as a musician as I do now, ever in my life...it is almost unbearably astounding and humbling to me...

...Alas...

...sitting in my sweet little place in Nashville wondering what song Michael and the boys are dishing out to the hungry and most certainly, worthy audience @ Martyrs in Chicago...how is it that I know in my heart that I'm supposed to be there and I'm supposed to be here?  I suppose that's what life, love, music (stir 'em all together) are all about...questions, lessons and a whooooooole big journey...but still, I find it ironic how one must peel away from that which fuels you to build another engine...

At least Jeni and Niva are taking pictures.

"...I'm hollowed and I'm haggered and I'm in desperate need of a shower...":)   

I miss stuff...not "stuff", but stuff... still, I remain, "the luckiest girl alive"...                                 

So, it's a first!

About 3 months ago actress Lisa Hill was brought to a show in Chicago and told her producers about my music...I'd never been approached for such a thing as there are so many outlets movies can get indie music from these days...I sent just about everything I had because I didn't know what they meant by "can you send us some of your stuff"...when I told Michael M. about that, he tried not to laugh at me and my green tinted glasses...anyway, it is the closing scene into the credits, I am told, right after the heroine kills the bad guy...she smiles and the song begins:)  Yeah!  So it's called, "Naked Fear"...I can't wait to get the DVD!

In the meantime, I am currently in Nashville learning/rehearsing/performing with/for a great up-and-coming artist, Chelsea Field...while I'm getting settled here to jump back into gear for my solo stuff, I've been so blessed to land this job...AND THEN I got a call to do a commercial back in Chicago over the weekend for Portillos!!! YUM! I'm going to be the singer-chick (lip-synching!). (Thank you, Ike Reilly!!!! Grab his new CD!)

I miss my puppy.  I miss my kitten.  I miss my band. I miss my peeps.  I miss my Jimmy.

ifthiswereeasyeveryonewouldbedoingit!!!!!

Here's a link to the online magazine interview I got to do with The Cover Zone!

http://www.thecoverzone.com/RantsNRaves/Horton.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQweKWbVwWY

More Live feed from 9/1 :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3NMOFkaJe4

Here's some recent fun at the Underground Wonder Bar!