First things first: Be careful not to worry too much. But don’t worry too little, either, because then you might wind up with even more to worry about than you originally bargained for. And it’s important to bargain. It’s important to be frugal and exercise caution. And it’s important to exercise, too. You have to stay fit. Because if you stay fit, your mind will be sharp, and that will help you bargain well. Otherwise, you’ll get taken for a ride.
And generally speaking, you don’t want to get taken for a ride -unless, of course, you’re going somewhere. And if you are going somewhere, just remember to wear your safety belt. Be sure to consider the risks. Nothing is guaranteed in this life, and you have to be ready for anything. Existence, like confidence, is always fleeting. Embrace every moment. But don’t embrace every moment so freakin’ tightly that you wind up trying to hold on to moments that are actually fleeting in the first place. Because you can’t hold on to the past, no matter how hard you try, and you need to remember that, first and foremost.
You can’t catch the wind.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t learn from the past. Certainly you should learn from the past. Certainly you should be cognizant of the past as you make your important life decisions. But at the same time, you have to remember that you can’t spend your existence living in the past, just like you can’t spend your existence living in your parents’ basement anymore, either, because they finally kicked you out after all these years.
Fact of the matter is, you can’t hold on to anything.
But you should always try to hold on to the ones you love, because they won’t be around forever. Good health, like everything else, is temporary. If you’re lucky enough to be blessed with good health, you have pretty much everything in the world you could ever want, except for money and fame and a significant other.
Point being: In order to get rich and create healthy relationships, you have to employ the power of positive thinking. Negativity is always the enemy. Declare preemptive war against it—and then declare preemptive victory. Learn how to find silver linings in even the grimmest of circumstances. Look for the silver, yes—but stay away from mercury. Mercury causes birth defects, and it can also give you cancer.
You may find it frightening to hear such things. This is normal. Breathe deep. The point isn’t to always be fearless; the point is that you can’t let your fear overwhelm you. You have to make your fear work for you. You have to employ it—but never enslave it. You have to read The Gift of Fear. If you allow your fear to overwhelm you, you will lose your ability to intimidate people.
Moral of the story: Stand up and be courageous. Remember the timeless words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and be terrified of fear. To do anything less would be cowardly. But at the same time, never be afraid of things like failure, or ideas. Ideas are only thoughts, and, like failure, they eventually happen to everyone. Some of your ideas will be humiliating, and others will be merely deranged. So what? Embrace them anyway! Feel free to entertain them! Water the average ones thoroughly, and smile as they flower!
Fertilize your ideas.
Nurture them.
Chuckle as they wither and die.
Last but not least, never be afraid to take chances. (This is critical.) The world doesn’t turn on the
minds of rational men who always take the safe way out and spend the majority of their tragic existences bowing at the altar of an endless Plan B. Rather, it turns on the minds of irrational men who refuse to accept the limitations of a deeply stagnant and ultimately unsatisfying status quo.
Harebrained human beings with fire in their eyes.
Passionate human beings with a tendency to fidget.
Misanthropes. Drunks. Narcissists.
Antisocial comic book enthusiasts who are secretly addicted to Vicodin.
Join their ranks immediately, and go forth boldly, with confidence. Do not allow yourself the comfort of an easy road, a road that is devoid of risk and genuine inspiration, because one day all too soon, you’re going to wake up in a room that smells of formaldehyde—a urinous, lonely room with floral-print wallpaper and a window that looks out on a solitary bare oak tree. And as you lie there in silence on a late autumn day, a heavyset nurse with a persistent stutter will walk into the room with her pantyhose going swish, swish, swish, and this heavyset nurse with a persistent stutter will look into your eyes while feeding you fortified yogurt, and she will t-t-tell you that ev-ev-everything is gonna b-b-be alright, and before you have a chance to agree with her, you’ll realize that you’re way too weak from anesthesia to remind her that you’re actually lactose intolerant.