As I sit here pecking out this blog I have "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" playing in the background.  It's a low budget (very low budget) comedy about vampires preying upon the nation's lesbian population (because they wouldn't be missed), so the Church calls upon Jesus to stop them.  Jesus is a kung fu action hero who saves the day.

Surprisingly it isn't blasphemous, though irreverant it is.  Even though it's only a few years old, the props, editing, dialogue, and acting gives it a very 1970's B movie feel.

Anyway, today's blog is actually about how thrilled and am with my neighborhood's Halloween enthusiasm.  While in Seattle there simply wasn't much decorating done for Halloween.  In fact, nowhere I've ever lived has done much, though Seattle did the least.

My neighborhood has gone all out, which thrills me to no end.  Granted I haven't seen a year yet that is as decorated as mine normally would be, but by and large the participation is great!  I estimate that 35-40% of the houses have significant decor.  On my street alone there are several houses with porches eeriely lit, giant spiders out on the prowl, etc.  There aren't any of horrible inflatibles in the yard either.  In fact, now that I think about it, there are a lot more porch-haunts than yard-haunts.  Wait until they get a load of me next year!!

Phantom Horse II

Our sheep gave birth in the dead of winter, so Dad would usually get up in the middle of night to make sure no sheep was having difficulty giving birth.  One time while walking back to the house, Dad began hearing the distinct sound of a horse galloping towards him.  We owned no horse at this time nor had any other hoofed animal out in the pasture that night.  Dad had been outside for half an hour, so his eyes were well adjusted to the moonlight.  He saw no horse, despite the sound getting closer.  Dad began to hurry, but the sound kept coming.  As Dad got closer to the gate/fence, he began to run because the phantom horse was bearing down on him.  Right when Dad got to the fence, he ducked down to protect himself.  At that same moment the galloping subsided for a second, then continued on the other side of the fence.  Dad literally heard the horse jump, land on the other side of the fence, and continue on its phantom run.

To be objective, I must admit that our neighbor did have 2-4 horses.  However, we did confirm that all the horses were away at a show that week, so there was no living horse that could've caused the phantom gallop.

[those of you who remember my Star Wars collection I displayed in college have seen the very R2-D2 in this story.]

R2-D2

For Christmas 1980 or 1981, Santa brought me the remote controlled R2-D2. As Mom and Dad played Santa, they filled my R2 with batteries, and left it setting out on top of its box. After completing their Santa duties, they retired to bed.

A few minutes after going to bed, they heard the distinct beeps of R2-D2. Fearing one of us kids had anxiously awakened at 3 a.m., Dad sprang from his bed to put us back to bed. Dad was greeted by R2-D2 rolling down the hallway toward him. Dad turned him off and quickly realized that all us kids were nestled snuggly in bed.

What still fascinates and terrifies me is the supernatural force behind that R2-D2. First , the toy had to be moved off its 10-12" box. Secondly, it had to travel the entire length of our living room, across shag carpet. I was never able to get my R2 to go more than a few inches on that carpet. The carpet would get caught up in its wheels, causing it to stop.

Therefore, the only conceivable scenario was that Penny levitated the toy across the room, set it down in the hallway, and began playing with it.

Mom and Dad were wise not to share this story with me until a few years down the road. There's no way in the world I'd have ever touched that toy if I'd have thought it was "possessed ."

I went through my first haunted house of the season. Although it was far from a great haunted house adventure, the complete package was pretty good. The spook house is located at Sloss Furnaces, which is a an old iron furnace with a reputation of being one of the most haunted places in America. So, right off the bat you know you're in for a treat.

The haunted house itself wasn't too noteworthy. As you wind your way around the old furnace (imagine the settings from "Nightmare on Elm Street" series), the bulk of the scare were characters jumping out of dark places and hitting pipes, etc with hammers and such. All in all I found the haunted house to be unimaginative.

A good thing about it, though, is that they encourage making an event of the whole thing. With your paid admission (a whopping $15), they have an area where they project classic horror movies, another where you can have your future read, etc. So, though the haunt itself was lacking, the overall experience is pretty cool.

The highlight for me was how they grouped us together for going through the depths of the furnace. They formed groups of 8-10. My group was me (I went alone), three 11-yr old girls (who were jumpy before even entering), a college-aged black couple, and a 50-yr old white couple. So our demographics were ideal. The girls were in the front, but kept asking me (or anyone else behind them) if we'd lead the way. All of us politely declined and insisted that they remain our little sacrificial lambs. As we stood in line awaiting our turn, the slightest bump made the girls jump. We adults behind them took turns rattling the chainlink fence, raking our feet through the gravel, etc just to watch them yelp some more.

The black girl with us was nervous, but cool unti we actually entered the tour. The second we started she screamed, pleaded, etc everytime we rounded a corner. Her boyfriend didn't scream, but he was pretty frightened himself, so that was funny, too.

And I almost forgot, the best thing about the young girls was the way they walked through the tour. It was so comical. The three of them formed a shoulder-to-shoulder chain and simultaneously shuffled one foot forward at a time. The when I pointed it out the adults in the group, we all cracked up. They reminded me of the way Scoobey-Doo (sp?) and Shaggy would expored a scary area.

Shoes with Minds of Their Own

It was also common to wake up in the morning and find your shoes hiding in random places throughout the house. I think my parents were the victims of most of the mysterious shoe incidents.

Matchbox Car

Mom once summoned Derek and me to the hallway. We were accused of causing some damage to the hallway wall. We both professed our innocence, which didn't help convince our mom. Then we examined closer and logic proved our innocence, as well as convinced us it was caused by something supernatural.

The hallway walls were of wood paneling. Something had taken a Matchbox car and circled a light switch hard enough and long enough to leave several "tire" tracks around the light switch!

To this day I can still picture those tire marks. Those marks were 1/16-1/8" deep. There is no way any of us could have done this. First, it occurred by the doorway to the living room and across from the main bathroom. Being a family of six, one of us would've seen someone doing this. Secondly, although I have never attempted, I believe replicating this on sheetrock would be very difficult and time consuming. Recreating this on paneling has to be virtually impossible.

Thirdly, I know neither my brother nor I did this. Besides, the light switch would've been over our heads (though not out of reach); the angle would have been too difficult.

Further, I don't think a toy car could've withstood the pressure required to create those grooves. Nor do I believe a person could manually generate the pressure, speed, and time necessary to make those 6" diameter revolutions.