LIGHT A CANDLE FOR MY MUM

http://patricia-elizabeth-currim.gonetoosoon.co.uk

I've never actually spoke about this openly before and i normally keep everything inside but i feel ready now to just put this into words. I really am not looking for any sympathy for this nor am looking to seek attention. This is something very personal to me and only close friends have known about it. In January 2006 my mum was diagnosed with cervical cancer. At aged only 41 then, this was obviously a huge shock to not only her but me and my family too. Since then, she's had months of radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Around this time last year we was then told the cancer had cleared. Obviously, we were absolutely thrilled it had finally cleared and we could all carry on with our lives and be greatful she was still with us.

However, two months later it come back and in February earlier this year she had more chemotherapy; also this time causing her to lose all her hair. Word's can not explain how hard it is to see your mum who has devoted her whole life to her children (i have four brothers and four sisters, ages ranging from 24 to 5) who was once an outgoing, bubbly, beautiful woman deteriorate into a scared, insecure and confidence-lacking lady. I think this is also the point where we realised how much of not just a physical but a mental effect the illness is having on her.

Summer this year my mum was told there is nothing more hospitals in the UK could do other than giving her pain releif. Fucking pain releif. She now also is unable to use the toilet properly and has a colostomy bag attached at all times. So now it really does quite kick in. Mid September, I contacted a doctor in Beijing, China about a treatment we'd heard about called Gendicine Therapy which is a cure for cancer and is only legal in China. It's not cheap but its the last hope. It's a drug which is taken over the course of two months and treats more serious cancer. So, on the 4th December which is tomorrow (at the time of writing this..) my mum, my dad and myself will leave for Beijing to hopefully give this cancer a good kicking up the arse and be rid of it once and for all. It means i'll sacrifice college, work etc but there's nowhere else i'd rather be than supporting the woman who has quite literally sacrificed her whole life for myself and my brothers and sisters. I know i've wrote a lot of this a bit 'formal' but it's fairly serious and i don't think should be written any other way. So that is it, i'll be back mid February (i'll miss Christmas in England i know..) but will still pop on here as much as i can. It'll be one of the biggest changes in my life and it'll be as weird as fuck living in an entirely different country with a different culture.

And before i go, a little message to my closest friends; Sinead, Gemma, Ed, Alice, Tish, Sian, Simm, Kyle, Reena, Grace, and Laura (and everyone else), thank you SO much for supporting me and always being there for me. And i know thats as cheesy as fuck but gosh; seriously amazing people. I'll miss you's all so much more than you and me probably realise.

Blaine x