It was a dark night, the three of us were wondering the streets, lost, alone and tired from so many gigs without a bass player. By god we were so desperate, and to make matters worse the god damn co-op accross the street was fresh out of cheese dippers. We didnt know how we would carry on, all hope was lost, until we spotted a star in the sky. The star was so damn bright it hurt your eyes to look at it. We turned to eachother at this moment and decided that we would follow the star. We could only dream that the star would lead us to salvation. We walked for miles through deserts and over mountains, we battled snow monsters and godzilla robots,  robbie even battled a god damn washing machine with his ass and was victorious. We were like the three kings searching for jesus or sum shit. Then one night we came across a stable, except inside it was just a bunch of wheely bins with rubbish all around, there was a hobbo there who was crazy, he attacked us with a strange guitar with four strings, we battled this crazed man for hours until it drew to a stand still. Once the dust had settled we notticed the man was no hobbo and that the rubbish we saw was just bass guitars that had been broken in half, he spoke to us with a soft voice, a beautiful voice, perhaps a rapists voice.

He said "i followed this star on a crucade from a land where bass guitars grow like flowers right out of the ground, a prophet told me to seak out a band by the name of slow motion gayplay, the singer has a face that resembles big foots penis"

we spent the next while explaining to the bassist that we were SMR and we would gladly take such a worthy advisary and travel the lands together and bask in the glory of rock, or whatever it is we actually play.

This man goes by the name of Ewan and is our new bass player, none of these events actually took place.

so just a quick shout to say that we are very glad Ewan is now on board and we will be playing many a show near you very soon!! LOVE SMR!xxxxxxx